Of course the boys found some sticks.

Ben was so happy to be out of the house!

Eating outside is the best.

Ben really benefited from the extra attention.  The girls were only five weeks old at this point, so they were still needing most of my attention.  He loved having his aunt to play with!

He had to show off his Woody jammies

Even cute from the back. ;)

Friends!!

We really do want to thank Lindsay for making the trip here.  It was a long one, and even longer to get home (boo flight cancellations).  We really appreciate her taking the effort.  We have the best family!  And sorry for so few pictures, I'll do a photo catch up when I finally get the others.

Ben can't wait to see you again, Aunt Lindsay!  Neither can we!!

-Kim

Pat's storytelling gets him to sit for a bit.
 Reading is so fun!
-Kim

Coloring!

He looks like such a big kid!

Jumping for joy to see the cow.

Big hugs!

Waving bye

Ben was sweet, he pointed out the cow to his sisters. Of course they were sleeping and oblivious to the amazing event that had taken place.  In a couple weeks story time is back.  The theme this time is supposed to be dinosaurs, so you can bet we will be there!  I love that Ben is enjoying this sort of activity.  He is at such a fun age!!

-Kim

It's a Babywise Friendly Blog Network pinterest day!  Today we are talking about all the other people who watch our kids.  Sitters, coaches, teachers, family.  How do we choose who to let watch them?  What are our expectations for people in these rolls?  Check out all the ladies and the pinterest board to see all the great blogs.

My topic today is dads.  (By dads and husbands I mean partners and co-parents in general.) I know, dads seem like a no-brainer on the list of who watches our kids.  I mean, they are one of the parents!  But if you are a Type A do everything yourself person like I am, even letting go to let your husband lead with the kids is hard.  But it is so important to let that happen.  If I try to do everything all the time, I end up resenting my husband for not doing more.  That isn't fair, as I didn't even give him a chance!  It isn't fair to him because he doesn't get the chance to develop his parenting skills.  It isn't fair to the kids because they don't get to build their one on one relationship with their dad.  And they so need that relationship without the ever present shadow of mommy hanging around.



I am writing this post, in large part, as a reminder to myself of the reasons why I need to back off and let my husband take the kids sometimes.  I hope that it helps others too.  The girls are two months old now, and I haven't really left them for long.  Recently though, I did leave all three kids with Pat.  It was necessary.  I had to take the cat to the vet, and I really don't like having the kids with me when I do that.  Pat was on spring break, so it was the perfect chance to take care of her without the kids.  When planning it I realized that Pat hadn't been alone with the girls for longer than it takes me to shower yet.  That isn't good long term.  I am nursing, so it is practical for me to be around all the time.  But the girls are on more of a schedule now, so it was time to make a change.  Here are some tips to make these early outings more doable.

1)  Keep it brief at first.  Don't think that you have to be out all day.  A short outing is all it takes to get started!  I leave for less than an hour for the first outing.  I have found keeping it short is best for me as a mom.  It is not meant as a slight to my husband, he can totally handle the kids longer.  But I feel the need to be back sooner, so that is what I do.

2)  Feed the babies right before you leave.  This is important if you are nursing.  By feeding then leaving you can maximize the amount of time you have to be out.  If you are bottle feeding this isn't as big a deal, as your husband can feed the baby.  I have found my biggest stress when being away from my babies is worrying I have left a hungry child.  That isn't fair to the baby, and it isn't fair to the caregiver.  I feel better knowing we do have a back up plan in case of emergencies.  In our case that is milk in the freezer, and honestly a can of formula.  (I know a lot of sources recommend not having any formula in the house if you want to breastfeed.  I see the logic in that, you can't quit if you have no back up plan.  For me having a back up eliminates some of the worries that my child will starve and lets me relax a bit.  This actually helps me nurse better.  Do what is best for you.)  Full babies are usually happy babies as well, which sets up a more successful time for all parties involved.

3)   Trust your husband.  This sounds so silly, I know.  I am not trying to be disrespectful to husbands as caregivers.  I just know as a mother I feel the need to be the total caretaker to my babies.  I have a hard time letting someone else step in and care for them.  So this is a me problem, not a husband problem.  I think it is fairly normal though.  I have to remind myself these are my husband's children too.  He wanted them, he loves them.  He is a smart, wonderful man.  (I mean, why else would I have married him?)  He can handle the kids!  He wants to handle the kids!  We are a team of parents and it doesn't have to be just me doing to caring.  Of course this thinking is constantly needed, but it is especially important when the babies are super young.  The sooner you can relax and see that the kids are just fine, even if things aren't done exactly the way you do it, the easier it is to keep that attitude up.

What are the benefits for leaving the kids?  I mean, who cares if you are the only one caring for them all the time.  (We moms often think we are the only ones doing it right anyway. ;) )

1)  Good bonding time for your husband.  Dads need to bond with the babies too.  They have an important role to play.  As the mother, I often have alone time with my kids.  It is easy for me to always be around.  But dads need and deserve that time too.  They need to parent and enjoy their child without someone watching or participating.  They need to feel free to make their own mistakes without judgmental eyes on them.  (I know we aren't trying to judge, but it is easy to feel judged.)  The kids need to get to know their father on his own.  Everyone wins from some alone time between father and child.

2)  It helps build dad's confidence.  I think a lot of the time dads don't participate in the early care of the babies out of a lack of confidence.  They don't want to mess up, they don't want to hurt the baby, and they just don't always know what to do.  The best way to learn is to dive in and do the work!  By spending time with the kids they will see the kids are fine if a diaper isn't put on right.  The kids don't care if their outfits match perfectly.  They just want to be loved.  And dads are so good at that.  Getting in there and changing diapers, holding the baby, and just loving them demystifies the whole situation.  This helps dads feel good continuing to be in charge, which will be super important as the kids grow up.

3)  It lets mom eliminate some pressure and resentment.  Again, this might not be fair, but it is easy to resent your husband for not helping with the baby enough.  The thing is, I have often found he doesn't help a ton because I don't let him!  I jump in and try to do everything myself.  By letting my husband take the lead early, I can get rid of some of that resentment.  I also get some pressure of myself.  I can see that someone can do things differently than me and the kids are just fine,

4) It helps mom recharge.  This one is obvious.  As much as I want to be everything to all my children all the time, sometimes I just need a break.  I think when the kids are super little it can be so easy to forget this.  But even though the newborn time is short, I still need moments here and there to step back and not have the immediate job of caring for the kids.  It doesn't have to be a long moment, but even running to the store for 15 minutes makes me feel better.  No matter how frustrated I am with a parenting situation, being away from my kids makes me miss them.  Missing them makes me want to dive back in there and deal with whatever we have going on.

With all these ideas in mind, I had my little outing without the kids.  I was only gone about an hour, and of course Pat and the kids were just fine.  I missed the kids so much, but I feel good that I am able to leave and things won't fall apart.  Of course I didn't expect them to, but it still feels good to get a successful attempt under our belts.  Now to remember my own advice and start planning my next escape! :)

-Kim

Check out all the BFBN ladies!!

Childcare Pinterest Board

Ali and Sam are two months old!!  This has been a great month with them.  Like the one before, and I'm sure all to follow, it has flown by.

This month Ali and Sam are even more fun than they have been.  They have more times in which they are awake and alert.  They love to look at us and are smiling.  They also love to watch their big brother run around.  He isn't yet aware of how much they love to watch him.  I know when he realizes he has a captive audience he will be thrilled.  The girls are still eating well, which I love.  I am able to nurse them at the same time for all their day time feedings, which is awesome.  It saves so much time to be able to nurse them at the same time.  Their sleep is improving.  Sure, some nights are still more challenging than others.  But they are improving.  The major challenge is usually getting Ali asleep initially.  After that things aren't too bad.  Sammy needs a little more help at nap times, so they each have their strengths.  I really can't complain though.  Sure, we are tired some days.  But for twins I think we are doing very well in the sleep department.

This month we really settled into our main daytime routine.  We get out of the house a couple of days a week, which Ben and I both need.  The girls are very good on the go.  We took them to the Bunny Hop downtown, and to an Easter Egg hunt with Ben!  They of course don't participate yet, but they are still getting some firsts in!

They are both holding their heads up well and as I said smiling.  They are starting to coo a bit.  Ali managed to roll over from her belly to her back!  Sammy tried so hard but hasn't quite made it over yet.  I'm not too worried about that.  Ben rolled over at 12 days (yes, 12.  Gramma was here and can vouch for it.)  He did it a bit then kind of 'forgot' how to do it for several months.  So cool they are trying and in Ali's case succeeding, but nothing I'm over thinking.  Both of the girls are reaching for items and sometimes managing to grab them, which is great and right on track for normal development.  Yay for normal! ;)

Ben is still doing well with the girls.  He likes to give them hugs and kisses.  He brings them their burp cloths and blankets.  He almost always throws their diapers away for me.  (I love that.)  Overall he is just being a great brother.  He calls them 'girls' and 'ladies.'  It is so cute to hear.  Pat and I are so proud of how he is doing.

The girls had their two month appointment and both are looking very healthy.  They aren't very tall, but really that is expected in our family.  :P  Ali is ten pounds thirteen ounces and Sammy is ten pounds five ounces.  Ali is the bigger eater of the two, always ready to have some food.  Sammy is a little less into it.  She eats well, but not with the same gusto that Ali does.  Ali has also had the harder time at night, leading me to offer her more chances to eat to try to nurse her to sleep.  (I know, a bad habit but sometimes you just want to sleep!)  Sammy has started to pick up her interest in eating, so I think she is going to catch up soon.  In comparison Ben was almost fourteen pounds by this point, but he did start out two pounds bigger than the girls.  The doctor is pleased with their growth and so are we.  They have some tiny rolls, which are so great to see in babies!  I love how cuddly they are.

As always, I got some pictures of them for their 'birthday.'  It was incrementally easier to get pictures of them than last month, but still challenging.  I'm no newborn photographer, so these are some of the better ones I got.

My sweet ladies

Sam!

Ali!

Sister hugs

These two are a double blessing in our lives.

-Kim

A couple of resales ago we found an adorable suit for Ben for only about $4.  We didn't have any plans for it, but we couldn't help ourselves.  I've been hoping we would have somewhere fancy for Ben to wear it, but so far we haven't.  We might make him wear it to Easter services, but generally our church isn't that fancy.  And the rest of the family can't quite keep up with his level of awesome.  Instead, one night we just dressed Ben up in it.  At first he wasn't super in to it, but he came around quickly when he realized how good he looked.

 So here, just because, are some pictures of Ben in a suit.



Kid cleans up nice.

-Kim

-Kim

Last day of this BFBN week!  Today Katrina from Mama's Organized Chaos is talking about how to transition from two naps to one nap.  This can be a tough transition.  The timing of it varies from kid to kid, and sometimes it feels like day to day!   Ben transitioned later, more around 18 months.  It took some trial and error to figure out what worked best for him, and he still sometimes grabs a catnap in independent playtime if we have been really busy.  We got through the transition though, which is what counts.  Katrina has a lot of tips that will help out!

Another BFBN post to highlight!  I love this post so much.  Stephanie from Giving it Grace has  great idea to stop unwanted behavior in toddlers.  I am learning from experience that sometimes toddlers just do not listen.  Stephanie has a great idea to painlessly stop cycles of unwanted behavior.  I am adding this to my bag of tricks right away.  Check out her post to see what she has to say!!

Today we have Carrie from Wiley Adventures discussing some of the faqs about scheduling.  I say yes, yes, yes to this post.  It lists all the reasons I love a schedule, and the hows and whys of making it work.  I think she does a great job of saying it, so I'll just leave it with go check out this post.  Thank you, Carrie!

Halfway through this BFBN week!!  Today we have Emily from The Journey of Parenthood.  She is discussing how to drop the last middle of the night feed.  The girls aren't quite to this point yet, sadly.  But that's okay, I know we are getting there.  I love what Emily suggests about how to handle dropping this feed though.  As I have said in the past, I have found the morning wake time to be so valuable, and something I strive to maintain.  So we are already practicing her first two points, feed then re-feed at the wake time.  I do that too!  If it is 2 hours to wake time, I offer a full feed.  One and a half hours or less, and I try to just feed to sleep.  I'm going to bookmark this post to remember the rest of her suggestions.  Hopefully I'll be needing them soon!

Check out all the posts this week!!

It still feels a little strange when I say it out loud, but I am a twin mom.  Not only that, I have three kids!  For real, how did that happen?  Okay, I know how it happened, and that isn't the point.  The point now is what do I do with these three kids?  We had Ben in a really good place schedule, sleep, and eating wise.  Babywise was a major part in helping with this.  While I was staring down the future with three kids, I knew the Babywise principles would help me again.  I so do not have all the answers yet.  In fact, I have more questions than answers.  So I will hold off posting on details until then.  What I am talking about today is why I have decided to even try Babywise with my twins when I already have a 2.5 year old.



Here are the big questions I get about choosing Babywise so far:

1)  Why worry about a plan?  I think the why question is the first one that needs to be answered.  I am sure I know some people who wonder why I care so much to focus on Babywise principles with the girls.  I mean, second children change everything, and twins to boot?  How can I even expect to pretend to have a say about scheduling?  I think the answer to this one is simple- I have to have a say!  I don't want our lives to be chaotic.  I thrive with plans and schedules, and so far Ben has too.  With three kids I need to have a plan of attack.  I need to have some order to my day, and I want to have kids who thrive.

2)  Why Babywise specifically?  Well the easy answer is that it worked for Ben,  I have seen great results from it, I am familiar with it, and I am confident in my ability to use the tools given in it.  I started Babywise a little late with Ben.  More accurately, I tried it, stopped, and came back to it.  I quit following it because I read what many detractors said about it.  I came back to it because I realized I naturally followed the main ideas Babywise presents.  It made sense to me.  It went along with a lot of my gut instincts.  And finally, I think Babywise works!  I have seen how well Ben does with it!  I'm not claiming everything is perfect all the time.  But my kid sleeps.  And sleep is sooooo important to me.  He goes to bed and naps willingly.  Oh sure, he stalls.  He stalls hard some nights.  But we don't have to fight with him.  He is still happy and willing to go to bed.  (He's two, he's got to test us a bit.)  I am a firm believer that when sleep needs are met, other problems either go away or are more easily solved.  I suppose a one word answer to why Babywise for me would be: SLEEP!

3)  How do you get started?  For me, the first thing I implemented was the morning wake time.  How this works is I pick when in the morning the girls 'wake up' and have breakfast.  I loved the morning wake time idea with Ben.  I prefer to feed on a schedule, but as Babywise specifically says- if your child is hungry, feed her!  If the girls get hungry between scheduled feedings I of course nurse them.  With Ben I started with feeding on demand.  With one child in the picture, that isn't a big deal.  But even with one child I hated how unpredictable our days would be.  Could we go out, or would Ben be hungry?  Could I make appointments and expect to keep them?  Could I accurately tell people when I could be somewhere?  Having the same time every day for the first meal made the days fall into a more predictable pattern.  Oh sure, newborns can want to eat any time.  It wasn't perfect, but more often than not I could have a general idea of how our day would go.  That brought some much needed sanity to our lives.  I knew that when the girls were born I needed to keep some semblance of a schedule for Ben.  I also knew that if I focused just on feeding on demand I could end up spending entire days just nursing babies.  I know that feeding babies is important, but I just couldn't picture doing that!  By having a start time to our day the girls are already falling into a predictable pattern.  With them both on the same eating schedule it is easier to nurse them at the same time.  This is a huge time saver!!  I can still plan activities for Ben, because I know to some degree when I will be nursing.  Like I said, every day isn't perfect.  But more often than not I can get us out of the house and where we need to be on time.  That is very important to me!

4)  What do you focus on?  This might sound funny, as I wrote about how important sleep is to me.  Right now I am focused on eating.  The girls weren't premature or too terribly small when they were born, but they were still pretty tiny!  Just under six pounds apiece, which made me want to fatten them up as soon as possible.  For that main reason I decided to focus on feedings over sleep.  More than that, it is hard for babies to sleep if they don't have full bellies.  You can bet I wake the girls up to eat.  Well, during the day at least.  By waking them for meal times every 2.5-3 hours, I know they are getting the nutrition they need.  We are working on naps, but I know they will sleep better as they get bigger.

5)  What about Ben?  Does he still need this?  Yes!  Ben still follows Babywise principles!  He has a morning wake time.  Oh sure, some days he wakes up early, but he stays in his crib until the wake time.  He has independent play time.  This has been a life saver with the girls.  He has that while the girls have their first nap of the day.  Hello, time to get things done!  This timing means I get a chance to shower on my own every day without waking up super early.  I will get back to getting up before the kids, but with newborns every moment of sleep is wanted.  I love that I can rest a little longer but still take care of myself a bit.  Ben still gets his nap every day and has a consistent bed time.  While I may be missing sleep, he isn't.  I really think this has helped his behavior be so good with this major life change.

6)  What is the most important thing I want people to know about Babywise?  My answer to this might sound a bit strange.  I want people who don't know anything about Babywise is that you don't have to do everything in it perfectly by the book for it to work.  I think that expectation is why a lot of people are either scared of it, or think it is too hard or too rigid.  The books have so many great ideas, tips, and just good information in them.  But you have to do what is best for you and your family.  And honestly this was a big take away message I got from the books.  The book suggests starting with the schedule at two weeks old.  Well at three weeks old my in-laws came to town to visit the girls.  We kept the eating schedule, but I didn't stress the nap schedule too much.  The girls spent several naps nestled happily in the arms of their grandparents.  Is this ideal long term?  No, I want them to sleep on their own in their beds.  But they are only this little once.  The girls are the last grandchildren for my in laws.  Plus, they drove over nine hours to get to see the girls.  I felt it best to maximize the time they all spent together,  You know what?  Taking that extra week has not messed up the girls in the slightest.  We still work the wake time and the feeding times.  We are working on naps and night time sleep, but I know that will come.

Honestly, I am doing Babywise with my twins because I know it works.  I started really focusing on Babywise with Ben when he was 5 months old.  At this point I was already following a lot of the main principles.  We had a wake time, and feedings were scheduled.  But naps needed work.  They were all over the place.  Five days with Babywise and naps were in place.  No, they weren't perfect every day, but more often than not they were.  And they just got better with time!  I truly think Babywise gave me that last push I needed to make my son into a great sleeper, and I am betting it will do the same with my girls.  Being able to sleep on one's own is so important.  I truly feel I am giving my children the best start in life possible by giving them the gift of sleep and reliable feedings.  I am just starting out with my twins, but I am so excited to see how well the thrive using Babywise ideas.


-Kim

• Monday: Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
• Tuesday: Shea at The Moses Home
• Tuesday:  Kimberly at Team Cartwright
• Wednesday: Emily at The Journey of Parenthood
• Thursday: Carrie at Wiley Adventures
• Thursday: Stephanie at Giving it Grace
• Friday: Katrina at Mama's Organized Chaos

Today we have two posts to check out!  Shea at The Moses Home is answering questions on how to avoid overtiredness.  I think this is a great one.  I am still working on optimal wake time for the girls, so I need the reminder of what signs of sleepiness to look for.  We all know I am in to giving my kids the best shot at sleep I can.  I know I will be reviewing these signs and making sure I keep an eye out for them!

• Monday: Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
• Tuesday: Shea at The Moses Home
• Tuesday:  Kimberly at Team Cartwright
• Wednesday: Emily at The Journey of Parenthood
• Thursday: Carrie at Wiley Adventures
• Thursday: Stephanie at Giving it Grace
• Friday: Katrina at Mama's Organized Chaos

I love the view when I look behind me.  Three loves!

The happiest place on earth!!

I loaded the girls in the stroller, and we headed in.  I wondered if Ben would go for a cart, but fortunately he accepted that he would be walking.  At first he tried to hold my hand.  I always want to hold his hand, but it is hard to push the stroller at the same time.  Fortunately, Ben found that he could hold on to the stroller side and easily walk along with me.  He 'helps' me push the girls and stays nearby.  Win!

My helper

 We only had a short trip.  The nice thing about the stroller is that there is storage space underneath, so I can load up on a few items.  The sad thing about the stroller is that storage space isn't that big.  We can't get a lot of stuff, but we can get a few things.

Ben was awesome!  We talked about how it was important to stay right with Mommy the whole time, and I really played up the helper part.  (He adores being a helper.)  We did pause so he could say hi to a couple of toys, but so far he hasn't entered the ask for stuff phase.  We were incredibly slow.  I mean, I was pushing the boat of a stroller, and walking at toddler pace.  But it was a weekday morning, and the store wasn't crowded.  Honestly, with just me and all three kids like this, I don't feel bad if people have to go around us.  I feel if all three are reasonably quiet and Ben is staying near me I am fulfilling any obligation I have to the society around me.

Pointing out Easter Bunnies.  The kid loves bunnies.

We slowly made our way through the store, and had fun too!  The one thing I can't do well on my own is get Ben's diapers.  The boxes are too big to fit in the stroller, and it is just too hard to carry a box, push a stroller, and keep Ben nearby.  No big deal though.  Pat can easily pick those up when needed.  Or it could be a perfect reason to add a family Target trip on the weekend... ;)

Target level: Unlocked.  I am pumped.

-Kim

 (No, this post has not been sponsored in any way by Target.  I just really enjoy that store.  That being said if they ever want me to do a sponsored post I am always available and love gift cards! ;) )