Hinckley Blog: 2013

Saturday, November 23, 2013

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON "THE BEST IS YET TO COME"

http://brillanrayos.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-best-two-years-so-far.html

With Thanksgiving approaching, I have been thinking about some of the many blessings I enjoy. One of those blessings has been an unending series of of experiences that, in retrospect, have built upon one another.

During my first week as a new mission president, my secretary brought a stack of letters into my office and asked me the sign them. In response to my query, he explained that they were the “death letters” for missionaries who would be released in three months.

Death letters? I soon learned that there was a rich culture of death surrounding the completion of missionary service: we sang for the “dead,” junior companions “killed” their senior companion. I had only been mission president for a couple of weeks when we had our first transfers and I interviewed a group of missionaries they day before they returned home. It was a somber occasion, not unlike a funeral. What I began to realize during the course of those interviews was that these missionaries – most of the 21 years old – felt that the best of their life was over. It became clear during the course of the interviews that they had been told over and over again in countless ways that their mission would be the best two years of their life. It also became clear that my job was to convince them that that was a lie!

A mission is a remarkable, memorable, unique and life-changing experience in so many ways it would be almost impossible to describe them all. But the best two years of your life? I hope not! A mission is the best two years of your life so far. One of my jobs as mission president was to remind missionaries that, and incredible as the past two years or eighteen months had been, the best was yet to come. For missionary at the end of his or her mission, it is hard to imagine that any two year period could even match, let alone exceed the past two years. But it can, and it should. No one should reach their apogee at age 21.

Noah's Ark - click to enlarge

The Best Two Years: Between High School and Mission

As evidence, I have been reflecting on my own life. For more than a decade, I lived it in two-year periods, each building on the previous. I was seventeen when I graduated from high school, and the next two years – as a college student – became the best two years of my life (so far). My decision to attend BYU was made after high school graduation, and I didn’t know a single soul who was planning to go to BYU that fall. I unpacked my bags in a stark dorm room without a friend on the campus. Because of missionary restrictions imposed due to the military draft, I would not be eligible for a mission for another year and half. Those early semesters at BYU were the best two years (actually about eighteen months) of my life to that point. It was a period of personal growth, great new friendships, social development, learning. What could be better than being a college student in the Sixties?!

The Best Two Years: A Mission

What could be – and was – better was being a missionary. I arrived in Cordoba, Argentina in June, two years after I had graduated from high school. The next two years were amazing. I learned a new language, experienced a new culture, met remarkable people, struggled, worked, got rejected, and witnessed miracles. My companions and I were given responsibilities and expectations. We got up early every morning, we worked hard, and we slept well. We did things. By the time I returned home two years later I was a very different person than I had been when I left. I had confidence, I could look people in the eye, I could teach, I knew things, I could do things. It was the best two years of my life.

The Best Two Years: More College

I arrived home from the mission field one week before classes started, and I spent the next two years finishing my college degree. It was as different from being a missionary as being a missionary had been different from being a college freshman. But it was a remarkable two years, filled with learning, growth and fun. I had wonderful roommates. Many of them were friends and companions from the mission, but we rarely spoke of our mission memories – our life was too full with classes, dating, Church service, and planning for the future to spend much time reminiscing. During those two years, my gospel knowledge increased, my social skills improved (I still had a long ways to go from the geeky high school kid whose primary extracurricular activity was teaching a slide rule class), and my testimony deepened. It was the best two years yet.

The Best Two Years: Graduate School

After college graduation, I spent the next two years in Boston earning an MBA at the Harvard Business School. It was an amazing two years, and changed my life. I have often joked that my experience at the Harvard Business School was the best two years and $10,000 of my life! Everything about it was life-changing for me: living in Boston, traveling around New England, school, Church, new friends. Many of my closest friends today date from those years in Boston. Between years I worked in New York City, and no one can live in New York without having it change their life. And it was near the end of these two years that I met and fell in love with a beautiful young woman from Dallas, Kathleen Hansen.

The Best Two Years: Ad Infinitum

I could continue. The next two years Kathleen and I spent in New York City. We became “city people” – and we still love urban life. I served in a bishopric, we made great friends, we learned, we grew, and we had our first child. It was such a remarkable couple of years that we thought nothing would ever be better and that we would never be that happy again! We then went to Salt Lake City for two years where I dabbled in real estate development, served on a high council, had another child, and had experiences which shaped our lives.

After that, the two-year cycle changed: we spent a year in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan (where we had another child); five years in Grand Rapids, Michigan (three more children); two more years in Bloomfield Hills (a ward that changed our life); ten years in Arizona (where we wondered if we had really been happy anywhere else). There we had our sixth child, I served in a stake presidency, and we had Church, work, family and social experiences that kept us growing and learning. A career move brought us reluctantly to Salt Lake – could anything ever be better than that magical decade in Arizona?

The answer, of course, was yes. We segment the past nineteen years in Salt Lake mostly by Church callings. I served for several years on the high council under the tutelage of the legendary stake president, Theodore M. Jacobsen. When he was released, I was called as stake president. I was pretty certain that serving as president of the Bonneville Stake was the best calling in the Church and that nothing would ever compare to it. Then I served three years as president of the Spain Barcelona Mission. More miracles, more learning, more growth, increased faith, deeper testimony, and the most amazing young men and women I had ever met! Then it was over. Could anything even come close? I never imagined how much I would learn and how much fun I would have after the mission. I have felt the guidance of the Spirit in remarkable ways, seen many miracles in my family, and continued to learn and grow. I thought I understood baptism as a mission president, but working in the temple has given me a deeper understanding and appreciation of the power of ordinances. Pursuing my goal of writing has been extraordinarily rewarding. And the great friendships and associations from BYU, Harvard, New York City, Michigan, Arizona and Barcelona continue to be a source of satisfaction and learning.

I can hardly wait to see what’s next!

Tell us about your most recent two years. Share your thoughts by commenting below, or submit your own post to the blog (send to clark.hinckley@gmail.com).

Sprint the Finish

On October 29, Ada and I received the following email from the one and only Brooke Clayton Boyer:

There is a saying in marathon training that you should always "sprint the finish," or put your final, hardest, strongest push in the last mile of the race.

It's November, the holidays are upon us, I just spent a week eating chocolate in place of everything else, and I feel like this holiday season, I want to give myself the present of health! Back when I was single and had hours a day to work out and disposable income for Whole Foods (sigh), my sister put together a community health challenge. I thought she was nuts. Now I, too, am nuts, and crazy loves company, so I'm swiping her idea (I take it all back, Heather), and hoping I can find a few other crazies out there to up the ante for us all. I'm adding a big list of women on here, and please feel free to add more: no cap on entries! The more, the merrier. And no pressure whatsoever if for any reason this doesn't interest you.

Here's how it works:

To join, you pay $30 into the Challenge Fund. All the $$ in the Fund goes to the PRIZES described below
Earn points each day (10 max per day, 70 max per week)
Stick to a list of daily health goals, plus a bonus goal each week. One point per goal per day. Here are the goals:

Drink 6 glasses of water
No more than 1 serving refined sugar per day
No eating after 8 pm or when dinner finishes, whichever is later
Exercise for at least 30 minutes, 5 days per week
Eat at least 6 servings of veggies and fruit
Study 20 minutes of holy text (or other personally uplifting work)
Record one thing you're grateful for in journal
Work toward one personal goal
Record daily points on the group Google Doc to stay accountable and encourage others
WILD CARD, announced each week (ideas welcome)

The Challenge will start on Friday, November 1, after we binge through Halloween, then we'll stick to the goals every day, for about eight weeks, and finish just in time for Christmas on December 22!

Now, most importantly, the prize $! There are 2 categories of winners:

(1) The three participants with the most points. 80% of the cash in the Challenge Fund will be divided among the three challengers with the most points. For example, if there is $500 in the kitty, $400 will be allocated amongst the three players with the most points. And, (2), a prize everyone can be eligible for: All participants with more than 70% of the available points. Because the Challenge is partly about getting the most points, but mostly about process, any person who gets an average of 7 points or better per day, will have won, and will be eligible for a random giveaway which will be funded by the remaining 20% in the Challenge Fund.

After a bit of consideration, we decided to join up because it's mostly things we ought to be doing anyway. Even in my pregnant state. Caboose will surely be happier with 6 servings of veggies and fruits rather than the 6 servings of Halloween candy she's been getting. Right? By the end of Friday, there were 46 people signed up, making the available pot of gold a whopping $1380! Brooke created Google spreadsheets in which to record points, with instructions for each competitor to record their personal goal for the group to see.

As we should have expected, the competitors list includes mostly type-A super accomplished personalities, including a smattering of Claytons, several lawyers and law professors, at least one doctor (who we later learned is also vegan) and more Ivy League degrees than we can count. Almost immediately, the collection of lawyers started requesting further defined terms. The biggest exchange to date has been over The Sugar Rule (in caps because, well, that's what we do with defined terms). Roughly a dozen emails flew back and forth on Saturday about what exactly constitutes 1 serving of refined sugar. After consulting with The Doctor, Brooke sent a refined rule:

"Three ways to answer, "Is this my one serving of sugar?" Choose the one that's strictest: (1) You can consult WebMD Sweets and Treats portion size. (2) Read the nutrition information on the packaging. (3) If it tastes like a treat, smells like a treat, bumps you off the wagon like a treat, IT'S A TREAT! Now get back to that edamame."

One lawyer responded with a proposal that we return to "the original version of rule 2 with regard to sugar" which was "one serving means the usually-very-small-defined serving size for the refined-sugar item you are eating, and anything with refined sugar added/on the ingredient list, including sugary cereals, yogurts, beverages, etc. counts." His expanded analysis:

"I can see reasons why the new rule (which as I read it says "you can only eat one serving per day from the following three categories: (a) food with refined sugar in it, (b) food with 15g or more of sugar per serving, and (c) food that can be plausibly categorized as a 'treat'") would be overall better for my health, but I think it has some serious problems (for example, it rules out lots of fruits, which kind of conflicts with rule 6), and it is much more complicated than the prior version and harder to administer/follow.

People could certainly make reasonable arguments in favor of the original rule AND in favor of the new rule (or in favor of any number of other specific sugar-intake rules that could take their place),so I suggest that we just stick with the version that was in place when everyone signed up and move ahead with that one. None of the rules are perfectly tailored as a guide for healthy living for the rest of my life, but all of them (including the original refined sugar rule) will have a beneficial impact on a person's lifestyle, and at the end of the day, contest rules are all inherently arbitrary on some level, so I think we should just use the rule that everyone was planning/expecting to follow, despite its flaws."

Michelle Mumford (resume: BYU law grad, former associate for Very Large New York Firm, current elected official in the Utah Republican Party, new Associate Dean of Admissions at BYU law school, and mother of 6 - including twin boys less than a year old) responded with a simple "I guess I didn't see the new rule as a new rule but only how to define sugar intake. I understand I can't eat refined sugar and I can have one serving-size treat a day. Is that correct?"

And here the doctor weighs in again to explain the 15g rule: "If a product (muffin, yogurt, juice, luna bar, green smoothie, ice cream, M&Ms etc) has more than 15 gms of sugar per serving then it counts as your serving of sugar for the day. Yes, this means that ice cream and orange juice would both count - choose wisely. Naturally occurring sugars in the form of whole fresh fruits are exempt. So I think this is more of a clarification of how to define your preferred sugary-type product."

YIKES!! My orange juice and green smoothie could count? Matt Clayton pointed out that a Costco apple spice muffin is as much of a sugary treat as the chocolate donut next to it, which is an idea I can get behind. But Ada and I can't process the thought of orange juice as our one-serving treat. Another participant said she felt that if the treat was just a small piece of candy that was shy of 15g of sugar, then it didn't count as your sugar serving. Which as I read it means that I could have a rather significant number of Halloween candies a day if I just spread them out over several non-servings.

Brooke issued her final ruling late Saturday night: "I think the preceding sugar comments have been provocative; thanks all. If nothing else, it's clear that lots of folks are making some pretty impressive efforts to cut added sugar out of all their food, not just dessert, as a matter of habit. So if you find yourself in the more liberally-minded "one serving sugar" camp, and you're in it to win it, it's probably worth scaling back your big-dessert-dreams (or not taking the point when it's a stretch). Rising tide lifts all boats."

So that's where we currently stand with respect to sugar. Now, what does "personal goal" mean? After noticing some hard-to-quantify goals on the group challenge board, people started weighing with suggestions for term definition. Brooke's eventual ruling: "The idea here is that you choose one challenging goal that you can score a point for every day. So to earn the point, you need a measurable, specific, 'reach' goal that you can identify as having hit or not hit each day. And it has to show up on the Challenge Board for you to claim the point."

Ada, wisely avoiding risking input from 46 people, texted Brooke to ask about Fast Sunday. Some Challengers are LDS, some are not. Brooke's advice to the group was to adjust the food you do eat post-Fast to fit the guidelines. Because what we all want is a post-Fast salad. But given the number of Competitors, including Ada, who scored 10 points yesterday, I suspect there were lots of post-Fast salad/water-guzzling dinners last night!

So that's where we stand, folks. Ada and I will keep you updated on this hilarious process in which we compete for cash with the most competitive group of people we know. There's bound to be more hilarity between now and December 22. For now, I'm guzzling water and trying desperately to stick to this week's Wild Card challenge: no soda. Oh how I'm missing a good Diet Coke right now!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Montgomery Ward Nostalgia Night

As requested, here are more pictures of Friday night's ward party. You've met the happy couple above. Now enjoy the rest of the scenery!

I took this one Friday morning while we were setting up. Table centerpieces were mix tapes, vinyls, Nintendo games, joysticks and machines, vintage pop bottles, vintage candy, and a variety of old photos. In case you are wondering what vintage candy is, it includes things such as Moon Pies, Charms, Ring Pops, Neccos, Black Jack Gum, etc.

Here is one of the gym walls, in the process of decoration. The table has a Sycamore High athletic schedule from 1996-1997, as well as Katie Strike's Eastonia yearbook from 1973 and Jon's Highlanders from the early '90s. I think all the clothes are actually from ward members; I don't think our decorating chief spent too much time at Goodwill. Rob says he actually should have had a letter jacket, since by some odd circumstance Chess and Academic Quiz Team qualified as sports. Someone at our table responded, "I don't think it can be a sport if you don't sweat." Rob says there is plenty to sweat about in Chess and Quiz Team championships. My friend Beth brought her Senior Prom dress, which she made - ruffles, tulle, poofiness...

At the check-in table, Monica had a Rolodex with everyone's names in it. We picked our cards and safety-pinned them on. Then we took a Senior Superlatives voting ballot: Best Dressed (tonight), Best Sense of Humor, Most Contagious Laugh, Sweetest Spirit, Cutest Couple, Best Hair, Most Outspoken, Most Likely to be a Celebrity, Most Likely to be an Olympic Champion, Most Likely to Become President. Winners were announced after Jeopardy (more on that to come). Rob tied for Guy's Best Sense of Humor, told a good lawyer joke, and came off the winner. I tied for Girl's Most Contagious Laugh, but in the "heads down thumbs up" runoff I lost to my friend Ally. After trying to stage a sit-in in protest to the judge's ruling in Jeopardy, Tony Strike won Most Outspoken. He did not, however, win Most Likely to Become President.

Dinner! Served by lunch ladies in a kitchen buffet on school lunch plates, with cartons of milk. And the cartons of milk are genuine school cartons - Monica got them from her elementary school. The hairnets are my favorite, as are the slopped mashed potatoes. Because real lunch ladies slop the food on your plate. Note the Nintendo gun on the table, and think back to how good we were at Duck Hunt...

Beth (aka "I made my own prom dress") was in charge of the food, so the meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans with citrus zest were delicious. The orange jello with mandarin oranges, served on a lettuce leaf, was as good as such a thing can be. Once we got our plates, we entered the gym and looked at the long rows of lunch tables and wondered nervously who we should go sit by.

Jon's Tevas with socks. Rob's Converse and authentic high school sweatshirt.

Left: The chambray shirt girls. Julie Proudfoot (aka "The British Princess") with the blousy look, open buttons, and slouchy belt. Katie Strike with the hand embroidered version (she made a matching one for her boyfriend) and bell-bottoms.

Right: Beth, with lace socks, lace shirt, black leggings, lots of bangles and droopy necklaces, red Converse, and a hat. She was chatting with me as she was shopping Friday afternoon, trying to finish her outfit.

B: What I need are a pair of Converse high tops, but I don't have time to go to Goodwill again.
Me: Um, Beth, they're back. Where are you right now?
B: They're back? You've seen them in stores?
Me: I've bought them in stores.
B: I'm right by DSW. I'm going in. [few minutes pause...] Here they are in every color! And KEDS!? Are Keds back in, too?
Me: Yes.
B: If I buy some I won't wear them again
Me: Yes you will.

She bought red, and as it turns out lace socks are also back at DSW, so that was convenient.

Here is the happy couple at the end of the night, against the columns and stars. In between our school lunch and our Prom picture, we had a game of Jeopardy. Nancy Harward had made up a whole board of questions, in categories such as Dance Dance Revolution, Bad Hair Days, Say What?, and What's Hot. Bad Hair Days for 600 was a photo of me with a side pony and the go-to hair accessory of the 1980s. What is a scrunchie. Dance Dance Revolution for 800 featured a 30 second video clip of the YW leaders doing a dance popularized by Marcia Griffiths in her hit song. What is the electric slide. (Although there was a protest about this, because the actual name of the song is Electric Boogie. Nancy agreed to allow both answers, and the madding crowds quieted). You get the idea.

As we were admiring the Prom columns and star-drop with our friends Andy and Naomi, it came up that Andy's prom date was our friend Melissa - also in the ward. This was obviously common knowledge to Rob and others of that high school era, but was totally news to every one else. I floated the idea of having Andy and Melissa take a picture together by the Prom backdrop, but he vetoed that. Oh that we had known that factoid when Monica was putting out a demand for high school pictures! The Andy-Melissa prom picture really should have been in the slideshow of ward members circa age 18 that was on repeat in the front of the gym. Of course, having your prom date show up 15 years later in your ward is probably not all that uncommon on the East Bench. But here in Middle America it's a little more momentous.

Now we've put away our senior class rings and Rob's returned his high school sweatshirt to the basement. But I'm keeping my chambray shirt and flower jeans and Converse handy, as well as that blue eye shadow. It's ALL back...

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Tessa says: "I love sheeps"

Monday for FHE we headed up to Wilmington College to meet our friend Monte Anderson (aka, Tomato Guy, Dean of Agriculture). It's our second annual Feed the Lambs FHE. We go to the barn and meet the new lambs and goats and bottle feed those who aren't doing well feeding on their own. Our children, who run from tiny dogs, carefully hold bottles and even pet the lambs.

This time as we walked in the barn, Monte looked into the area where expectant mothers are kept and saw two new lambs. "Hmm, these weren't here when I left work an hour ago!" he said. The mom had just finished birthing and licking them clean. Monte carefully picked them up and coaxed the new mother (her first lambs) out of the pen and into their "mother sheep and baby" area. Sort of like being wheeled from delivery to the maternity ward, I suppose. They want to be able to keep a close eye on the lambs and monitor their progress - are they standing up, are they feeding, is the mother settling in, etc. This mom had not quite finished the - how do I put this delicately - events that transpire after the babies come out. So we got to watch that. Ellie and I couldn't look away; Rob kept his eyes carefully shielded. If we'd arrived 30 minutes earlier, we would have seen the birth!

Monte watched carefully as the new mother sheep tried to settle in. She was agitated and the lambs couldn't quite latch on. But they were standing up and trying. Eventually, as we were there, they started to get the hang of things. We tried to stay away so we wouldn't bother the process.

Monte mixed up bottles of lamb formula and gave them to Ellie and Matt. They each held one up to the mouth of a little lamb and stood still while the lambs ate. Monte let one month old lamb - Lambchop - out of the gate. Ellie shrieked and ran, then gathered her courage and came closer. Lambchop is sort of aggressive, so I tried to keep the bottle in his mouth as he ran around the barn. After a bottle and a half, he was finishing up (albeit with squirts of milk on his wool and nose from his squirming). Ellie came over and took over the last of the bottle feeding and then petted his back. Tessa wouldn't get down from Rob's arms, but she did declare, "I love sheeps!"

In the meantime, Ellie peppered Monte with questions. I wish I could remember everything she asked! How do the babies come out? (Uhm..) How do you know if the sheep is about to get the baby out? How long does it take for the lamb to grow into a sheep? What is in the bottle? Do you help the lambs come out? What do the lambs look like when they're born? Are they boys or girls? What are their names?

Monte said he forgot to check if they were boys or girls, but that he would check the next day and let us know. He said Ellie could name them. "If they are both girls, then I want to name them Sadie and Jemima. If they are boys, then one of them should be James. If they are one girl and one boy, then I want to name them Sadie and James."

We went back to the Anderson's house, where Diane had ice cream cones ready for us. She doesn't go to the barn because it stinks. Which you don't realize until you come out of the barn and sniff yourself. Blech. Ellie continued her questions, until we finally got everyone in pajamas and started the 45 minute drive home. Everyone zonked out in about 5 minutes.

The next morning, Ellie said, "Mom, tell me everything you know about lambs." When I'd exhausted my lamb knowledge, she said, "Can we call Brother Anderson? I have more questions." So we did. "Brother Anderson, do the mom sheep make noise when the lambs are being born? If you see a lamb about to be born, can you call us so we can drive up and see it?" And later to me: "Mom, how do sheep get married?" Well, animals don't get married. Just people. "Well that doesn't make sense. How do they have babies if they don't get married?" Um...

That night, Ellie said to Rob, "Dad, do you know what my new obsession is?" Is it sheep? Grinning: "Yeah, it's sheep."

I have to admit that when I saw the baby lambs and the final stages of the birthing process, I got a little obsessed with sheep, too. I may have peppered Farmer Monte with questions of my own. He says they try very hard not to interfere in labor, because otherwise the mom will lose her instincts. Only if they see an emergency will they (literally) lend a hand. They also try very hard not to give bottles, but they will if they see the need. In nature, those lambs who can't feed properly would die, but that obviously doesn't have to happen on a farm. Monte says they do lose some. One morning he arrived to find that twin goats were born overnight and hadn't survived. The barn is quite warm, but the mother goat had settled too close to the cold door. Twins are very common in sheep, and even more common in goats. Triplets can also happen, and Monte was watching our new mother sheep to see if there were any more lambs pending. No such luck.

Per Ellie's request, we're headed back up on Saturday with some friends to do the whole thing over again. Ellie will get to see "her" lambs and properly name them, and probably show off her bottle-feeding skills. And we may have ourselves a bummer lamb story to give a talk about someday!

Friday, February 08, 2013

And then, this one time, we went to Mexico...

Here are some highlights of the Great teamLesan Getaway of 2013: Meet the Mayans

Chichen Itza

Mom and Dad flew in on Monday afternoon, and we all had a lovely dinner together. After a brief Lesan Kiddos Orientation, we headed to bed early. Rob and I got up at 5:00 for an 8:30am flight. We have different travel needs. Rob needs to be AT THE GATE at least two hours before departure, and I need a shower and a bit of makeup. Otherwise at some point, I'm going to look at myself in an airplane bathroom with poor light with nearly all natural color drained from my skin by the stuffy airplane air (recycled since Orville and Wilber were boys) and think, "Blech. There's no way I really look like that." But if we are still at home three hours before our flight leaves, Rob starts to get anxious. So by 5:30 we were out the door headed to Kentucky to go to the big airport to go across the sky to a bigger airport (Atlanta) to go to the small airport (Cancun) with palm trees.

It was warm, humid and sunny when we stepped out of the airport in Cancun. We found Arnie, our airport shuttle man from Alma's LDS Tours (look for the man in the BYU hat, the instructions said) and hopped in the van to drive to Playa del Carmen, about 45 minutes away. Our room was amazing - lovely, large room overlooking the pool and the ocean, balcony with a hammock, and little chocolates at bedtime. And, per Instagram, the double swan towels with rose petals. The resort was big but not overwhelming. Just plenty of space to enjoy the ocean, beach, pools, grass, jungle, and restaurants.

Obviously we took pictures of our food. During our first meal, a flock of seagulls flew through our restaurant (which was open to the beach) and one landed on our chips and guac. Thankfully, the resort was all-inclusive, so we could quickly order more guac! In fact, we made it a personal goal to eat copious amounts of guacamole each day. We succeeded. Here I am at the Tapas restaurant with some empanadillas, filled with chard, goat cheese, and some other delightful things. (Our resort is owned by Spaniards).

There are beach butlers roaming the grounds around the beach and the pool, eliminating the inconvenience of having to walk 50 yards to the closest bar area to order another drink or pick up a bottle of water. Here is the first of many mango-tangos. (Along with my vacation book, the second installment in the Flavia de Luce series. If you're not yet acquainted with the delightful young Flavia de Luce, she's a character you really ought to know. But that's another post). And here's a glimpse of the scenery along the beach during my morning run.

More food. This is dessert in Maria Marie restaurant - French Mexican fusion. Not sure what that means, exactly, except delicious.

Thursday was overcast and a bit cooler - the perfect day to head into the jungle to explore the Mayan ruins. Arnie picked us up at 7:30am and we spent the next 13 hours with him and two other American LDS couples (Charlie & Linda from Boise, Marsha & Bill from Sandy). Marsha pulled out her crochet hook and yarn and announced she was going to make scripture bookmarks for the ladies, including Arnie's future wife. Marsha and Bill are part-owners of the Nielsen's Frozen Custard on 39th, and Marsha's favorite flavor is chocolate macadamia. Just a data point for your next trip to Nielsen's.

Rob and I sat up front with Arnie, which meant we had plenty of hours to learn about him, his family, Mexico, the Church in Mexico, being a YSA in Mexico, bonus info about the Maya and the ruins, etc. There are a few LDS tour companies in the area, all in the same family as far as we can tell. Alma - our owner - is the daughter of Helaman Petlacalco, a renowned Mexican LDS archeologist. He and his wife have 11 children and raised them in Mexico City and Playa del Carmen. Several of them went to the LDS high school in Mexico City that will soon be an MTC. Helaman's son Helaman also has a tour company with his son Nefi. I think another Petlacalco son has a third company, and a son Lemuel is one of the stake presidents in Cancun. Our tour company belongs to Helaman Sr.'s daughter Alma and her husband Miguel. Our tour guide was Arnie, Miguel's younger brother. Arnie and Miguel are from Mexico City. Alma introduced Miguel to the gospel; Arnie joined later and, last year, their father was baptized. Their mother and other siblings are still not members. Alma and Miguel have four or five children; one son David is a recently returned missionary. A daughter "went to BYU and never came back," and is married and lives in Utah. Arnie served a mission in Little Rock Arkansas and has a degree in history and archeology. Woodwork is his passion, and he worked as a carpenter building cabinets and furniture until a few years ago when the economy took a dive. Three years ago, Miguel convinced him to move from Mexico City to Playa del Carmen to work for the tour company. He's 33 and looking for a wife, if you happen to know anyone...

Our first stop was Ek Balam, pictured below. That's Bill on top, raising his arms and posing like an angel. Ek Balam dates to 100 B.C. and was occupied as late as 1200 AD. Like Chichen Itza and most of the ruins that have survived, it was a ceremonial city with a temple, housing for the priests, a ball court, and alters and fonts for rituals.

You can hike all over the excavated ruins, but most of the site is yet to be excavated. Awesome. Here's the temple of the jaguar with familiar symbolism in the glyphs. It is incredibly well-preserved, because the Maya filled the stucco-coated carvings in with sand before they abandoned the temple. An archeologist excavating the site fell through what he thought was a rooftop and discovered this area. That's a pretty good day at the office, I'd say.

View from the top of the temple at Ek Balam

After Ek Balam we drove to a former hacienda that is now a lunch stop for tours. Buffet tacos, all you can eat, complete with Mayan-dressed dancers balancing trays and bottles on their heads. Yucatan pork, fresh little corn tortillas, hot salsa, flan, rice pudding, guava... Over lunch, Arnie told us that when he got to the MTC in Provo, his biggest hardship was the bland food (Me: "Oh yeah." Marsha: "But did you eat a lot of Lucky Charms?"). One day he saw a Mexican elder with a bottle of Tabasco, and he ran over to see where he'd found it. Turns out there was a Mexican woman working in the cafeteria who brought in bottles of hot sauce to make the food taste better. She gave Arnie his own bottle and promised she'd bring him more if he ran out.

Then we went to Chichen Itza! Where Ek Balam seems quiet and out-of-the-way, the entrance to Chichen Itza is jam packed with tourists flooding out of huge buses and a very loud, active open market with all sorts of shiny junk waiting to be exchanged for your pesos. The site, though, is incredible. Here's my best picture of the day - a view from the back of the ball court, looking over the wall at the main temple in the distance. The temple looks small from here, but just because the ceremonial city is so large. Chichen Itza was built later - not before 600 AD at least - so it post-dates all the Book of Mormon events. But there are things that survived in a corrupted form. The ball court is the largest in all of Mesoamerica (where if you are the captain of the winning team you get to be sacrificed). The temple to the Feather-Serpent God (feather for heaven, serpent because he came to earth) is built with mathematical precision. If you clap your hands sharply, you'll hear the echo as a bird call. If you arrive on the spring equinox, you'll see the shadows on the temple steps making the body of the serpent, crawling from the heavens to the earth.

After learning at both sites about the culture and events that historians have determined took place here, we sat down under a large tree with a view of the main temple and read a few verses from Moroni 9:

5 "For so exceedingly do they anger that it seemeth me that they have no fear of death; and they have lost their love, one towards another; and they ^athirst after blood and revenge continually."

8 "And the husbands and fathers of those women and children they have slain; and they feed the women upon the ^aflesh of their husbands, and the children upon the flesh of their fathers; and no water, save a little, do they give unto them.

9 And notwithstanding this great ^aabomination of the Lamanites, it doth not exceed that of our people in Moriantum. For behold, many of the daughters of the Lamanites have they taken prisoners; and after ^bdepriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is ^cchastity and ^dvirtue—

10 And after they had done this thing, they did murder them in a most acruel manner, torturing their bodies even unto death; and after they have done this, they devour their flesh like unto wild beasts, because of the hardness of their hearts; and they do it for a token of bravery.

Yikes. But that's a pretty perfect description of what was happening in these Mayan cities!

Our last stop on the tour was a Cenote: a deep natural sinkhole, where the limestone bedrock collapses exposing the water beneath. There are about a thousand of them all over Mexico, many used anciently for gathering water or for sacrificial purposes. Now some of the larger ones are used as public swimming pools, after a fashion. I don't have any picture of ours, because I was panicked about getting my phone wet. Too bad, because it was amazing. Rob jumped right in from a high ledge. I was about to, but then I saw hundreds (okay, maybe dozens) of little black fish everywhere. Ewww! I hate swimming with fish! But everyone said I HAD to try it, and finally Marsha said she would count to three and then I had to jump in at the same time as Rob. So I did. And then I splashed around for a minute and promptly got out. In the dark, we drove through the Spanish city of Valladolid and then back to the hotel, bid our travel companions good-bye and wished we could get up and explore more ruins the next day!

Friday was overcast and rainy, a good day for napping and reading and (obviously) eating. Here's my view from the beach on Saturday morning. It was pretty hard to peel ourselves away from that view to head to the little airport to fly back to the big airport to scrape the ice off our car and go back to Real Life.

Our ride to the airport was with Miguel and Alma! A scheduling snafu meant that our airport taxi left earlier than originally planned, unbeknownst to us. Miguel and Alma came to get us in their own car, and by the time we arrived at the airport we were all best friends. "Now you have friends in Mexico!" they exclaimed as we all hugged good-bye. "We'll see you when we come back!" I told them. We had told Arnie we wanted to buy a reproduction of a Mayan glyph depicting Lehi's dream that Alma's nephew makes, so they brought it for us. Then Alma also gave us representation of a Mayan glyph that literally means "And it came to pass." And so it did, and then it was over, and now we want to do it all again!

Mom and Dad, the kids were in heaven! We've kept the family room hideouts up this week as sort of a memorial to your visit. It took us about 20 minutes to read through all the smiley faces at Family Home Evening, and Tessa is still telling me things about Gwammie and Pops. Thanks for making our lives possible! When are we all going to Mexico? Save your pesos, everyone - it's a MUST DO!

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

The First Six Months...

I was not unprepared for this. My brother served as president of the Utah Salt Lake City Mission and he warned me long before I left that the fourth year is the hardest. I remember running into my friend Oscar McConkie in the food court at the old ZCMI Center after he had been home about six months. I asked him how he was doing, and the normally ebullient Oscar responding hesitatingly, “I’m OK.” Shortly before we left my son-law-asked me what I was most worried about, and I replied, “Coming home.”

The daily life and experience of a mission president and his wife is very different from that of the missionaries. We had relatively little contact with members and investigators – sitting in on a few lessons, meeting with local leaders, street contacting. When in town, most of the day was spent preparing for the next zone conference, interview, stake conference, district conference or concilio. And preparing for and participating in transfers, the single most time-consuming aspect of the work other than actually participating in conferences and interviews. Most other days were spent in actual conferences, meetings and interviews.

Our connection was primarily with the missionaries – 324 of them over three years. They became our family, our sons and daughters. One of the hardest parts of coming home was leaving 110 of them behind. And so abruptly! One day we were inseparably connected to them, thinking about them all day long, worrying about them, praying for them. They next day Pte. and Hna. Pace took that role and we were gone!

In the six months we have been home, not a day has passed that we have not thought in some way about the mission. For me, there are really four major things I miss:

1. The missionaries. Being with them every day, interviewing them, teaching them, working with them, just talking with them.

2. The engagement with the Work. Every day in the mission was focused on moving the Work forward. Scripture study had more meaning, teaching was focused, every thought and every action was connected to our purpose. That kind of constant engagement is simply not possible in any other setting.

3. The support system. This may sound trivial, but it is something we are reminded of every day. If the air conditioning didn’t work or a light bulb needed to be changed, all we had to do was mention it to Carolina and it was fixed. Jose Luis Hernandez took care of all the mission home needs with great men like Leo and Antonio coming whenever needed. Carolina was so competent that we could send her to Makro to do the shopping. She prepared lunch for us whenever she was at the mission home with us. When we came back from Makro with a car filled with groceries we simply called the office elders and they met us in the garage and carried the groceries upstairs. A multitude of tasks were accomplished daily by the office staff. Today I spend much of my time doing things that others did for me in the mission! Thank you all so much!!

4. Spain. Had we served in Nebraska or Texas or California or Russia or Nigeria I think our return home would have been easier. But, oh how we miss Spain! We miss our monthly trips to Palma, to Valencia, to Bilbao or Vitoria. We miss the Ramblas and the Barri Gotic. We miss slipping out for an hour on a Friday night, heading over to Passeig Gracia and ordering mussels sautéed in olive oil at Tapa Tapa, then walking down the street to Tapas 24 for dessert – dark chocolate mouse with sea salt and olive oil. We miss Corte Ingles. We miss walking through the plaza in Vitoria at night and eating Subway sandwiches in the shadow of the Guggenheim in Bilbao. We miss the Christmas lights. We miss Beatriz. We miss hot chocolate with churros. We miss corn on our pizza. We even miss olives with anchovies. I could go on and on. We miss Spain!

So how are we coping? Here is the good news. We left many missionaries behind in Barcelona, but many missionaries are now in Utah. We have loved seeing them at the reunion, in Provo, on the street, or having them drop by the house. One of the great blessings of being home is the opportunity to see so many of our missionaries, see them moving forward in their lives, and seeing again how good they are!

We love being with family, especially grandchildren. We had four grandchildren born in the years we were in Spain, and the others are all three years older. Eleven of our 15 grandchildren live in Utah – not one lived here when we left – and being able to spend time with them is a great blessing. There is no substitute for being close to family.

We are undertaking a remodeling project in our home – updating two bathrooms that have not been updated since 1928. They were lovely in their day, with exquisite tile work. But the tile is worn, the spaces are cramped, and the storage is limited. We spent a couple of months determining what we could do, what we should do, and what made sense. We are now two months into the project and hope to have it done before King’s Day. Though we are changing only two rooms, it has impacted every room in the house, so we have been living behind plastic barriers for as long as we can remember. But the end is in sight.

I work in the baptistry at the Salt Lake Temple each Tuesday morning, which is a great assignment. For one thing, I serve on same shift with both of my former counselors in the stake presidency, so we feel like we still get a weekly meeting together, something we have missed since our release! Many of our patrons are either youth groups or young single adults who come before their classes at the University, and the association with these youth and young adults is very rewarding. And just to spend several hours in the temple each week is a great blessing.

I have been elected to the board of Zions Bank, which will keep me in touch with the bank, the industry, and the business community. I have my first board meeting in January and look forward to getting back into the industry where I spent 35 years.

I am teaching the Gospel Doctrine class in my ward, one of my favorite callings. Being able to teach from the Book of Mormon on Sunday is almost as much fun as zone conference. I continue to learn more each week about the Doctrine of Christ.

In my “free” time – which has been surprisingly small – I am researching the life and writings of Christopher Columbus, a project that began developing in my mind while in Barcelona. Getting involved quickly in a positive and uplifting project is a key to adjusting to post-mission life. I have a pile of books at the side of my desk and try to spend some time every day researching, taking notes, and writing. This project has been very rewarding, and I continue to learn some astonishing things about this remarkable man whom Nephi saw in vision. The clarity with which Columbus saw his prophetic role is stunning. There is a great deal of myth surrounding Columbus, especially among Latter-day Saints, but the verifiable facts are far more compelling. I hope over the next six months to have this project in a form that it is useful.

What’s next? Much of the future remains unclear – we can at best see it “through a glass darkly.” But the best is yet to come!

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