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Monday, March 23, 2009

Spring Break in DC!

This year, my spring break started early as my friend Stephanie & I traveled to DC for the National Kodaly conference! When we finished our final level of Kodaly training last summer, we decided that we should "reward" ourselves for our hours & hours of hard work by attending the national conference. It ended up being an awesome experience! We went to many wonderful sessions full of great ideas on implementing the Kodaly philosophy into our classrooms...and though it's never fun to go back to school after spring break, I am glad for all the new ideas I have to bring back! Stephanie & I stayed at an absolutely adorable bed & breakfast in the DC area. Our favorite part of this cute place was the delicious breakfast! We were also able to play a few late-night games of Scrabble!
Deb, my sweet friend from Taylor, lives in the Baltimore area, and she picked me up for lunch one day during the conference. We hadn't seen each other for 4 years! Our few hours together were packed with lots of laughs and catching up!
For those of you who know me well, you are familiar with my two greatest fears: heights & escalators. During this trip, I was "privileged" to face those fears together in the escalator that took us down to the Metro. When I first saw how tall & steep the escalator was, I really didn't think I would be able to make it, especially since I had to lug my huge suitcase behind me. But...I'm proud to say that I became comfortable enough with it that I was able to run down the escalator (suitcase in tow!) to catch the Metro on the last day of my trip--yikes!!! Once our conference was done, Stephanie & I spent Sunday at the Museum of American History & the Holocaust Memorial Museum. There was a great display on the First Ladies at the Museum of American History. We also saw Lincoln's stovepipe hat, Dorothy's red shoes from "The Wizard of Oz," and Julia Child's recreated kitchen! While extremely emotional, the Holocaust Museum was also incredible. I was amazed at the depth of the displays, and I definitely left with my heart hurting.

The second part of my trip to DC was spent with my dear friend Nicole! She & Beckett came to Texas last year on my spring break, and I am so glad that I was able to visit them now that they live in the DC area. We spent lots of time talking, eating great food, shopping, & playing with Beckett. We also toured the Capitol on Wednesday morning before I flew home. I am so thankful for sweet friendships that stay strong, even when living so far apart.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Reflections on March 8

It's hard for me to believe that today is the 2 year anniversary of miscarrying our first baby. In some ways, it's hard to believe how fast the last 2 years have passed; on the other hand, these last 2 years have seemed like a never-ending cycle of disappointment, tears, & deep heartache.

When I first found out that I was scheduled to sing at church this weekend, the anniversary of our loss, I was very worried that I would be a bawling mess on stage--especially since last year I stayed buried in our house on March 8. But, God gave me peace that I could sing this weekend with strength only found in Him. Yes, there were tears as I sang today, but they were sweet tears as I reflected on who I was 2 years ago and who God has shaped (and still is shaping) me into through our miscarriage & subsequent infertility.

Two years ago, I couldn't see all the good God could bring from this pain. This list isn't exhaustible; but, these are the main "good" things that I am thankful for right now:
--a depth & strength in our marriage that before I only imagined
--deep, real-life friendships with other girls forged from our shared experiences of infertility
--knowing personally in my heart-not just my head-that Jesus is faithful; that He truly does give us the grace we need to get through each day; and that God can cause all things to work together for good for those who love Him, as we are promised in Romans 8:28

Of course, I know there will still be hard days...after all, our arms are still empty. But, I can say that I am truly thankful for the pain & brokenness God has brought me through; because, the joy I felt today as I sang the following lyrics is a joy that can only come from being delivered from a place of hopelessness & despair.

I love you Lord, I worship You
Hope which was lost now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the Savior King


Thank you, Jesus, for hope renewed.
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