Tennyson Talk

Monday, January 13, 2014

Undone

When I decided to jump back onto the blog to relive some of the old posts, I had not realized truly how long it had been since I have written on here.

Wow, well over a year!

Needless to say I am back, and I will try my best to remain somewhat faithful with blogging this year.

The time that has passed is filled with so much. I will try to let it dribble out little by little like a leaky faucet, in order that it's not too overwhelming a post... I would hate for you to be drenched with the Niagra falls in one sitting!

As an overview of the past year and a half, I will use the word UNDONE. There has been circumstance after circumstance that has left me fully undone.

I have been frazzled. I have been overwhelmed. I have been sorrowful. I have mourned deeply. I have been stretched .I have been broken. I have been heavy with burden. I have been in the trenches. I have fallen flat on my face. I have failed. I have experienced one of the hardest of years ... but... BUT

(don't you love that word? It is used so many times in the Bible, you know that there is something glorious that is to come after the "but" )

...I have been overjoyed. I have been loved, deeply loved by my Savior and my wonderful husband. I have been given a new song to sing. I have been given hope. I have been given maturity (at least a little I think). I have been given a bounce in my step. I have been given the yolk of Jesus, which is light. I have been brought out of the depths. I have been carried by the Lord. I have been redeemed. I have been ransomed. I have been given a new name.

I have been given a spirit that is fully, completely, utterly, overwhelmingly, unashamedly, UNDONE before the Lord.

The Lord has been my fortress, my stronghold, my steady ground, my rock on which I stand. He has been my all, my comforter and my shield. God has brought me closer to Him this year, in such a way that I couldn't do anything but hold tightly to Him.

I am thankful for the drawing near... HE is in constant pursuit of our hearts. He doesn't want a piece of our heart, or even half of it... He wants ALL of it. The thought of the word ALL is hard to wrap my mind around, but He will allow for any and every circumstance to overwhelm, overtake and consume us ( momentarily) if the outcome it a heart fully UNDONE and surrendered to the Lord. He is passionate for us, He stops at nothing to grab our attention because we mean that much to Him. That is what this whole year and some has been for me, for my husband, and for many other people , a year that had brought about change, and nearness to the Lord.

I will tell of HIS works he has done through our lives this past year and some months!

I leave you with this for now, to meditate on, read through, and soak in for a while...

Psalm 73:24-28

Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Lessons

At this very moment I am reminded that the Lord is in control.

I too easily get caught up in serving.... serving between 2 different schools, having to complete over 100 service hours, serving at church, serving my family... I easily focus on those things and then become very overwhelmed. My personality lends to becoming tightly wound, too focused on what needs to be done, and then I miss out on my kids and their lighted hearted spirits.

They will be laughing, cutting up and just be plain silly ... my awesome husband sits back, takes it in, and laughs along with them.... and I ... well I am busy "doing". This is an area that I struggle with so much, and continue handing over to the Lord. Lately, I have been living in it. I have been allowing for the craziness to take over and crowd my heart. I am so grateful that the Holy Spirit lives in me, because it has been the spirit that continues to convict me. Yesterday was a breaking point, yet again, but that is necessary if we want a break through!

SO today I am in the process of laying all the craziness, business and chaos at the foot of the Cross... in order that I might walk fully in the grace of the Lord and ALL HE has for me. I am reminded of the scripture that talks about laying all our burdens on the Lord ... to take up HIS yolk, because HIS yolk is easy and HIS burden is light!

Today I will take HIS yolk...
Today I will walk in HIS shadow...
Today I will lay it all down...
Today I will rest in Jesus....

ALL DAY!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Broken Vessel

Much like this vessel, I have been broken.

I will start my journey there. This summer has been INCREDIBLE in so many ways.

INCREDIBLY hard.

INCREDIBLY testing.

INCREDIBLY sweet.

INCREDIBLY long.

INCREDIBLY dry.

INCREDIBLY good.

just... INCREDIBLE.

Let me paint you the picture... as you all know, life is tough. It's tough, then add a husband, 3 children, hot and humid charlotte summers, not much down time, and changes, it's tough. It's tough to try and be all things to all people, and still have your wits about you and a mind that is in tact. Throw in GOD trying to work on some hard details in your life and it's REALLY tough! (not that I am ungrateful, by any means) When it rains it POURS.

Needless to say, my mind wasn't in tact and I was not with all my wits! I started getting really anxious again thinking about all the things that were vying for my attention. I was, figuratively, drowning in my own thoughts... the least of which was GOD. *side note: I am just being real, those who know me, know that I LOVE the Lord beyond measure... but sometimes... being human and all... we get a little bit side tracked.*

Heart was racing a lot, mind wasn't shutting off, and I was just grumpy. Thankfully I was still able to, in the midst of my chaotic mind, hear that still small voice... "Christy, just rest... just rest in me."

... but GOD, how? ... I have so much to do... dishes, laundry, sweeping, moping, dusting, children ALL wanting me at once, grumbling to take care of between siblings, a husband to tend to, clients, family, pool time, life... I can't rest.

"Christy, please be obedient... I'll make it much easier."

I will be obedient... but I'll rest while I am doing these things ok?

so my summer continued on, and the anxiety got worse as I was expecting certain things coming my way, I started asking for the Lord to remind me of who I am because I couldn't handle it any more.

I am ... too busy
"I will give you rest."
I am ... tired
"wait on me and I will give you rest."
I am ... critical (this one is a lovely hand-me-down... gotta love those)
"you are a new creation in ME, the old has gone and the new has come."
I am ... flawed
"but I am perfect in all my ways."
I am... so many things to so many people
"I am the vine... abide in me."

the list went on and on... and GOD kept reminding me of who I am in Christ Jesus.

For that I am so grateful...
HE lives in me!
He loves me!
He is my Abba father!
He knows me!

For all this I lift my hands in Praise and adoration to the ONE and only God, Jesus Christ our Lord.

God you are good!

~ your broken vessel poured out for you ~

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Season's changing

Well here we are ready for another child to enter the school system. This is so crazy to me, that my sweet pea is going to Kindergarten! This is actually her 3rd week in already, that is how far behind I am... well I guess here I am much further behind than that!

HA!

Lillian Grace has started and she is having a good time, but she is incredibly tired. There have been a couple of nights that she has gone to bed before 7... and last night was the kicker, she fell asleep before dinner around 6... had to wake her for dinner and as soon as she was done, she left the table and climbed into bed for the night. This little girl is being rocked by school at the moment. It makes my heart break for her, she is really not adjusting well yet, but I am hoping that by the end of September she will be adjusted. This continues to probe at my heart though because I don't think that children need to be in school for so long. This makes my heart yurn for homeschooling her... although that makes me so afraid... I don't at all feel as if I am cut out to do that, and feel as if I would not give them a good education. We will see how this year goes, I will be praying that the Lord gives me a peace about what to do and how to do it! Any suggestions? If you homeschool what curriculum do you use?

This is Lilly's teacher Mrs. Swicegood... Eli had her when he was in Kindergarten, which is really cool. We are blessed to have her again, she is a strong believer, so we know that Lilly is in good hands! I am just having a hard time adjusting as well.

___________________________________________________________________________

Onto the later of August... even though Eli's birthday was the 4th of August, we went to a Panthers game on the 17th. It was his first time for all the kids... they had a blast and enjoyed themselves! This is a picture with "SIR PURR" the mascot.

The Picture Below is with "THE CATMAN" ... that is what he calls himself... he actually attends every game and is always dressed like this... it was fun for the kids to take a picture with him since they see him on TV when football season rolls around! :)

I hope to be stopping in here more often, as the Lord has been teaching me so much through this past summer. I will be sharing what God has been revealing to me and through that I hope you are encouraged, challenged, and moved to change!

Prayerfilled....
Christy

Thursday, April 19, 2012

That time of year

It's that time of year again...

... leaves are budding

... the ground is breaking forth new life

... the breeze is warming

... birds are chirping

This new life amazes me, year in and year out. With each passing year all becomes more grand. My garden is bursting at the seams... the pholx, when did it grow over the iris bulbs and into the tulips? How is it that the bushes I just pruned back are fuller and more awake than ever? The Dianthis has trippled in size from just this past fall to this very moment. I walk past these front gardens every day and yet it all seems to have grown over night.

So it is with my children! I look at all three of them each day, up and down, inside and out... and yet it seems they have trippled in size over night as well. Why is it that life passes us by so quickly, and why is it that our children have to grow up so fast?

I am excited with the new possibility of Eli changing schools (he is too). 6th Grade, how did he get here so quickly? He no longer has a baby face, maturity is setting in and he is looking like a young man.

I shudder at the thought that Lilly will be headed to the lower campus next friday for a screening for Kindergarden. When did she grow up? Where has the time gone? I know she is ready for this next stage in life, but am I?

I can't fathom my youngest turning 5. Mind boggeling I tell you, mind boggeling! His growth is most prominant to me right now... his foot is getting close to surpassing his older sister... and he is really shooting up. Why so soon?

All this I suppose is how it should be, but I feel as if I have hurried through these years... not taking it all in. I feel as if I have wasted my time with rushing rather then relishing in the moment and slowing down to hold on to it.

My prayer for this end of the school year and start of the new is that I take the time to slow down and Cherish my children, take the time to make things fun and lighten the mood.

Here is to new beginnings!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Christmas Pictures

Thanks to Aunt Sarah for taking our Christmas pictures this year.

November doings...

November we spent Thanksgiving with my side of the family (Steffens), and as usual it was filled with fun, laughter, and LOTS going on. With that being said, we also celebrated Christmas together (early) as well... and this year Mimi and Poppie got all of us, as a family gift, a night stay at the Great Wolf Lodge up in Williamsburg VA. It was a grea time, we were exhausted at the end of it all, but the cousins wouldn't have it any other way! I tried my hardest to get great shots of the kids, but could only get still ones... therefore didn't get shots of every kid. All of the shots of my younger sister's family were blurry... sorry Sa!