The Amelioration

So for President's day weekend we decided to go camping. But it was pouring rain with no end in sight, so we pitched our tent in our back house. It was a great trial run to see who could hack it (Amelia) and who couldn't (Ben). Remember we are sleeping indoors, on a memory foam mattress, no hard ground, no rain, no bugs or dirt and only a little cold, but we had a space heater to help with that. We played games and read books and ate marshmallows and cookies. The kids got to play with flashlights, sleep in sleeping bags and we looked at stars through the roof of the tent. It was cute and fun. Ben did not like sleeping in a sleeping bag and tossed and turned all night. Finally I let him just crawl in the bed with me. Then at the crack of dawn Amelia sits bolt upright and yells, MORNING!! It was hilarious, but also way too early, so we convinced her to crawl into the bed with us too and managed to sleep until 10am, all of us snuggled together in a pile of blankets. It was great. Baby steps to camping outside!!! I love my city kids and frankly it was the easiest, cleanest camping I have ever done. I didn't mind it too much!!!

Oh, where to even start. This is a novel, but a good story. You can skip to the end of this and see her playing in the video. Cliff notes version: hated it for 50 minutes, loved it for 10. Let's hope next week is more of a success.
The whole story, every little painful detail:
We decided to let Amelia pick some rec center classes. She chose soccer and gymnastics. I think soccer because Olivia (the character she was for Halloween) plays soccer, and gymnastics because she saw girls wearing leotards and she thought it was close enough to being a ballerina. We got her all signed up and just had to wait a week. Waiting a week for anything with Amelia is pure agony. Most of the time if we know something special is coming up, we keep it a secret until sometimes the day of or the night before to avoid the constant questions of "is it today" and "when are we going to.....". I told her the day I signed her up because she had to endure a slew of shots and blood being drawn (see my older post) so I thought it would be a good idea to let her know about soccer to try and get her mind of her pain. By the time the ibuprofen kicked in, I regretted it. Everyday until then we were asked if it was"soccer day" yet. No, not yet, no Amelia, then an explanation of the days of the week, showing her the calendar marked with a picture of a soccer ball on the day she will go, counting the days together to see if that would sink in to her that it's not today. It didn't. But it wasn't that annoying since we were happy to see her excited.
First thing Amelia needs to know, "what can I wear to soccer?" She, of course, must be fashionable. Soccer is merely a name we call an opportunity to have a new dress up outfit. But, she was right to be concerned, we didn't even own a pair of sneakers or sweatpants for her. Those are not fancy!!! Luckily I had stashed a pair of hand-me-down shoes from her cousin Claire that fit perfectly and were purple and the same brand as my shoes (matching mom is a big deal to her) Thanks Ju!! Then on to find 2 pair of warm up pants. In my mind, we're set. The night before, when she is supposed to be sleeping, she is still figuring out her outfit and yelling to us from her bed which pants, socks, shoes, hair accessories and shirt she will wear. Tuesday morning at the break of dawn we hear, "It's soccer day!!!" The rushing of feet to come in and ask what shirt she will wear, since we didn't buy a new shirt specifically for soccer, she was having a hard time visualizing the full costume. Mind you, it doesn't start until 3:30. It's before 7am!!! We painstakingly get thru the day and it is here, 3pm, time to start getting dressed, braid hair and all that for soccer.
Loaded in the car and we pull up, she is so excited. I asked her if she was feeling scared, and she exclaimed "no" so quickly and excitedly I was surprised, but relieved. This is going to be so much better than I thought. We walk around the car towards the field and the clinging starts. OK, it's expected. Get to the coach and he asks her her name and she boldly answers, Amelia, while still smiling. Coach tells her to pick a ball and play with it until everyone else gets there. Amelia finds a pink one and is thrilled. She stands there waiting and then it happens.
She turns around and I see the panic in her eyes. She doesn't know anyone, she doesn't know how to play soccer, she wants mom and Ben to play with her, not these people, the sun is in her eyes and her sunglasses are in the car, she's cold. Some explanations and deep breaths to get her relaxed. Not feeling like we are in trouble yet. Coach gets them started with some warm ups and it's too much. Here comes the uncontrollable sobbing while racing off the field to bury her head in me. Coach says that if they are feeling uncomfortable then parents can join in. I did, but it wasn't seeming to help. 30 minutes of sudden outbursts of tears and the following comments (plus more that I can't remember) in her loudest voice, "I don't like soccer", "this is NOT fun", "no one is playing with me", "I NEVER said I wanted to play soccer", "I am done, I want to go home now", "I don't like running", "I don't know how to jump", "I am going to throw up (gag, dry heave)" any desperate attempt to get out of there. I contemplated leaving but I knew that it would make an impression on her that would never be able to be erased. Besides the fact that I am totally embarrassed at my child's seemingly spoiled brat outbursts, I am getting frustrated that she isn't even trying and find myself at some point saying, "I paid for this class and you are going to get out there and have fun". Cringe!!
At 40 minutes, she is not crying, but dragging her feet and flopping her arms and looking at everyone with a sheer disgust.
At 45 minutes, it is time to actually play a game. Coach hands out pennies. Amelia gets a green one, not a red one. I am sure that will set her off. It did, but I quickly marketed it that the only other girl is also on her team and wearing green, and look at how cool these shirts are you can just wear them over your clothes!!! Crisis averted. Then she is starting to actually participate and she's smiling.
At 50 minutes she runs to me and says, "This is so fun. I LOVE soccer. I want to do this every week. I can't wait to play again" Success.
Sticking thru 50 minutes of agony for 10 minutes of joy. Isn't that basically the overall ratio of our pain to joy with kids?? And I would do it all over again!! Maybe.

Here's a video. Please mute my annoying screaming. But this one is one of her actually kicking it and running towards the right goal. It's pretty cute. And the coach is so overly positive about her kicking it because of all the previous drama. I thought he was great to be so positive to her.

(this picture doesn't do this justice)
Yesterday in the mail I got a package. I was so excited when I saw the return label from The Vintage Pearl, a website I have loved and coveted for a stamped mother necklace ever since Ben was born. I was hoping that inside was just the tags to get me started or something even close to that. So you can imagine my sheer joy when I found this perfect little necklace with my babies names and a little pearl. The kids helped me open it and Amelia was so exited to read the names and put 2 and 2 together that it was them. She had a list of guesses who she thought it was from, but there was no card or info or anything on who sent it. We searched the labels and packages over and over and nothing. This person obviously knows my kids names, knows I wanted one of these and knows it's my birthday. I waited until the mail came today thinking maybe an explanatory email or card would come, but it hasn't and the suspense is killing me. Sooooo, step up and claim your thanks. I love this gift and it is killing me to not know who I should be thanking. I have been wearing it ever since I got it and every time I move it makes this soft little tinkling sound and I smile because it reminds me that I am wearing a cool necklace, that I love my kids, and that someone loves me enough to give me such a sweet personal gift. So thank you for putting a smile on my face.

I took Amelia to get all her doctor stuff done to register her for kindergarten. She needed a hearing test, eye test, 4 shots, a TB test, urine sample and blood sample. If you know anything about Amelia, that is way too many things for her to cooperate on. I negotiated the doctor down to 2 shots and everything else and come back in 3 months for the other 2. She wouldn't pee in the cup, waited about 10 minutes until she got literally a teaspoon. Next, she wouldn't cover her eye for the eye exam. She kept saying, "I don't like this. Why are you covering my eye, I can't see". Tried to explain that's the point of the tests. Then on to hearing. Doesn't want to wear the headphones. Too big, bugging her, blah blah. So I agreed to hold her and the headphones, done. Now, 2 shots and the TB test (basically a shot just under her skin on her forearm). She actually nervously laughed for the first one until the nurse started actually pushing the medicine in. Then the screaming and kicking (she has gotten much stronger). She wouldn't get her other arm out for the next one. I had to hold her down and got it, then quick do the TB but by then, Ben started screaming because he was scared and wanted us to "stop hurting Amelia". Did I mention I had to do all this with Ben. Now done with those and go across the street to get blood drawn. She was holding the seat belt in so I couldn't unclick her to get her out of the car. Then holding the door, anything she could drag. Just making a scene like I was taking her to the slaughter. Get in the office and told them they will need 2 people to hold her down to keep her from moving while they draw blood. 4 viles of blood to be exact. Midstream first one, it stops working. They figure it out and get going, but it took literally 2 minutes which is a lot when 2 people are having to hold her still. When all is said and done we are heading home and she is holding a grudge at me so I am feeling guilty so I thought a kids meal at Wendy's was a good peace offering. She keeps telling me she doesn't want to go to kindergarten now. Hopefully she forgets all this and changes her mind by then because she is going!!! Now we have to convince her that the dentist won't be so bad. HA!!!