The Barnetts

This week I've discovered that nothing fits anymore, I had a good bye party for my abs and I'm at a loss for things to wear to work. Do you think if I threw on a snuggie, a pair of high heels and some accessories it would constitute "business casual"?

In a show of solidarity, Smokey is working on his baby bump too.

Thoughts on the past two weeks:

My self esteem is at an all time low. I regret to inform y'all that the Clearasil was a bust. I've decided to pull out the big guns and try Seabreeze. I'll let you know the outcome.

Not only has my acne gotten worse, but I also developed a bad case of pregnancy Rosacea. I look like I have  a goatee of red, dry skin. Yeah, just as sexy as you imagine. I can't decide if Barney's going to drop me off at the circus (to be in the bearded woman exhibit) or start telling people how handsome his wife has gotten now that she's pregnant. Either way, I called my dermatologist and the conversation went like this:

AM:  Hey Dr. W. So...I have a really bad case of red, dry skin and it's concentrated around my chin.

Dr. W:  Sounds like Rosacea. I'll call you in some medicated cream.

AM:  Awesome. I probably should inform you that I'm pregnant.

Dr. W:  Long Pause...

Dr. W:  Silent Laughter

Dr. W:  Honey, it's called being pregnant.

AM:  (A noise like a record scratching). I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the noise in my head. So there IS something I can take?

Dr. W:  No Anne-Michelle....it will clear up in six months.

I am extremely stopped up at night. After a week of not sleeping, I called my doctor and found out that I could take Sudafed to clear me up. This little bit of news resulted in late night trip (for James) to CVS. Apparently our CVS didn't have their Sudafed certificate renewal blah, blah, blah form so they couldn't sell the goods to my sweet husband. BUT, he did not come home empty handed. The pharmacist told him that she didn't recommend Sudafed for pregnant women and sent him home with a brand new bottle of saline solution.

Why must he engage in a conversation with everybody? And why couldn't she mind her own business? Get the dang drugs and get home!! Since the pharmacist scared James so much, I promised that I'd try the saline solution versus the Sudafed. No dice. But I did discover that my homemade cocktail of a Vicks inhaler plus Vicks vapor rub under my nose is PURE GOLD!

(Please don't tell me that this cocktail will cause birth defects. I'm aware that my child is already going to be a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. No need to add "with a twitch" to my complex.)

Speaking of Chick-Fil-A's, I told James last Sunday that I've finally turned a corner and was really starting to crave healthy food. That night I cooked baked Talipa with Arugula Salsa and it was to die for. Three hours later I went and bought a milk shake. "Baby Steps" is my motto.

Last, I'm still getting up every two hours to go to the bathroom. Not only do I get up, but on the way to the bath room I hit the corner of the bed, bounce off the Armoire, step on Riley's tail, all while muttering about the wrongs of the world. I'm not sure why James can't sleep either?

Apparently this is God's way of letting us know that sleep is completely overrated and we won't be getting any for the next 18 years.

We had our twelve week check up earlier this week and everything went well. Baby Barnett looked so much bigger than he/she did at 8 weeks and was very active. James keeps trying to get me to drink Muscle Milk so that we can have the biggest baby at Brookwood Medical. He should know that I'm an average achiever and not to set goals for me that I never intend on keeping.

Yes, I cut off my head and hand in the belly shot. My head looked OK, but my hand looked abnormally large. With everything else growing, I didn't want y'all to think I was growing man hands as well. I'd also like to point out the Costco sized bottle of Tums in the bottom of the picture. These beauties are a daily part of my well balanced diet.

Here are a few thoughts for the first twelve weeks into this adventure (in no particular order):

I think our child might turn out to be a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. I have not had any morning sickness, but my taste buds are on strike against any food with nutritional value. The CFA sandwich completes me.

Apparently being pregnant is the hormonal equivalent of being a freshman in high school. My face is breaking out, I forgot my locker combination at the gym and I had a meltdown at the YMCA.

(I sat on a weight bench and cried.)

(James told me there was no crying at the gym, which made me cry harder.)

(Not one of my finer moments.)

Y'all, I'm an easy bake oven. I'm HOT all the time. This is such a drastic turn of events for me. Last night I woke up, threw off the covers and begged James to turn off the heat. He got up and checked the temperature in the house and do you know what it was? Sixty four degrees!!! Six - Four. It's like I don't even know who I am anymore.

Finally, I bought some Clearasil pads today because it helped my face in 1991. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Feel free to call a therapist if this flash back to my teen years lasts longer than nine months. Or if I start writing notes to my husband to find out if he still likes me. Check yes or no.

(I totally think he still likes me.)

YES, I know I haven't been a good blogger lately and it's DUE to the fact that we had a full house for the holidays. We spent all day yesterday getting the house back to it's Pre-Christmas simplicity.

YES, I've also been absent DUE to the fact that Barney is suffering from an awful sinus infection. I've been busy being the good wife and throwing cough drops and Kleenex at him from a safe distance.

Finally, the main reason I've been MIA is because we've been focusing our hearts on our new sweet blessing. YES...we are