I've had to say no to some things that we've been invited to do lately. The foremost in my mind is the small group from church. I started out really wanting to go, but if it was a night that when we didn't already have plans, I would find myself dreading it because I just wanted to spend some time with my family. I was thinking about it this weekend, and our time as a family of four averages out to about 1 hour each night. Brian works at the shop Monday through Friday and then on the weekends he does yard work or random things that need done around the house or things that he couldn't get to during the week. I have dinner ready about 6:45 and he almost always walks in the door about 7:00. Hudson goes to bed around 8:00, Reed at 9:00 and I usually hit the sack about 10:00. We just don't have much time together.
Quite a few people have asked me why committing to another thing would make us feel stretched so thin. They ask how I will handle it when the kids are in extracurricular activities because we will have even less time together. We aren't involved in anything right now, mainly because Reed hasn't expressed much interest and I see no reason to push it. When he starts school in a few months, not only will his eyes will be opened to all the fun things that other kids are doing, but our lives will be full with the things that we need to do (e.g., school, church, doctor's appointments, dental appointments, etc). I don't want most of his waking life to be sitting in the backseat of our car being shuttled to this or that. I'm not saying that my boys won't be allowed to play in sports and take lessons. I'm pretty sure they will and I think they will be more well-rounded individuals for it. But when the time comes, they will understand what they are signing up for and what all it entails. And we will do ONE activity at a time (Just ask Susan about Brian crying in the backseat on the way from one activity to another...ugh.)
Please understand, I'm not judging anyone else on how they schedule their lives. We are all different. I know many people who thrive when their lives are "on the go" and the can multi-task with the best of 'em. I, on the other hand, cannot function as a happy person when I am running from one point to another and find that it does not bring out the best in me or my children. :) In the end, we all have to find what works for us.
I believe that we have a choice. I want my children to have a choice. I don't want them (or us) to miss out on their childhood. Reed is about to turn 5 and I can NEVER get this time back. I want to be careful about my choices and right now, I choose family dinners at home. I choose church on Wednesday nights instead of "practice". I choose my little boys who will, sooner than I want them to, become teenagers that would rather play sports than sit and talk with their parents. I choose family time.
On a side note, please know that I do see that Brian working so many hours away from the family is also a choice...I'm working on that squeaky wheel as we speak. :)
