Inside the mind of...

You can't turn the television on right now without hearing something about the tragic earthquake that hit Haiti a few weeks ago. What an unimaginable tragedy for such an impoverished country. Tens of thousands dead and many more still missing - thousands of children orphaned - and most all left without homes.

The world was brought to attention and many countries jumped at the chance to help this country after such a horrible tragedy. It is so inspiring to see so many reach out and help.

BUT, here is what bothers me...why do so many of us, myself included, wait until tragedy strikes to help those in need - when clearly the need for help existed long before the tragedy? I simply pose a question, not to judge, but to challenge. Challenge those of us who have to wait until something bad happens to pay attention. Challenge those of us who have to be told where and when to help - how to help and how much to give. Challenge those of us who are so caught up in our own lives to barely even notice when a neighbor is in need, let alone a group of people across the world.

My prayer for this year - my ONE THING - is to ask God to show me daily who is in need and how I can play a part in meeting their need BEFORE tragedy strikes. Will you accept the challenge? Join me and let me know if there is a way I can help you serve someone else in need.

It's so hard this time of year to resist the commercialism that comes with celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior. I try HARD but usually have little success.

I've been watching my pennies a lot lately - mostly watching them splurge on something that I don't need and then regret having later.

Why do we allow ourselves to be so consumed with stuff? I don't even feel like it's a matter of having or not having the money to spend but more about needing or not needing what we think - no Believe - we must have.

Some acquire things for status reasons - to appear like they are successful. Others buy things to fill a void - lonely in a relationship, overweight, bored. I tend to buy things I think are going to make me happy, as if my life is so unhappy to begin with. But once I buy, somehow I'm still not satisfied. In fact, I often find myself wanting more.

So, in the age of acquiring things to meet some need, I'm fighting back! It's a moment to moment battle but I'm pressing on. I want my legacy to be one of eternal treasures and not a storage unit full of junk my family must sift through. God is telling me in this season to resist buying things I don't need, with money I don't have, to impress people I don't know. I borrow this phrase from Pastor Craig Groeschel who God has used to help financially guide misguided people like me.

How are you fighting back?

I've been reading a "hot" book right now...The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. It was recommended to me by a new friend. She warned me it would "mess with my box" and I wasn't quite sure what that really meant. I'll have to admit it's not really messing with me as much as it is ministering to me.

I read a passage today that really hit me and I wanted to share my thoughts. It is a scene where the main characther, Mack, is talking with God. God asks Mack about his family and kids. Mack tells them all about each one and what they are doing as if God doesn't know. Then it hits him and he asks God...why did you ask about them when you already know? That is when God tells him that regardless of what he knows about our lives or our thoughts, he wants to hear it from us. It's all part of the relationship.

God, in the story, goes on to explain it like this - when a child experiences something for the first time and shares it with you, no matter if you already know exactly what they just learned, you listen intently and enjoy every moment of hearing their version of their own experience, because it came from them. I think about when my own child discovers something for the first time, or tells me a story of something we experienced together as if I wasn't even there, how much I enjoy hearing it in her own words through her eyes. I'm absolutely delighted and want her to go on and on.

That's what God does when we talk to him. No matter what he already knows about our life (because he was there), he loves for us to talk to him and tell him about it. He wants to hear it in our own words. He longs for our relationship. So many times the thought crosses my mind, "why pray and talk to God when he already knows?" Well, this illustration completely changed my thoughts on all of that.

I do pray often, but I find myself praying FOR something, not just talking to God and telling him about my life. Now I think I can begin to grasp, even in a small way, why it is so important to talk to God about everything. It's how we truly have a relationship with him. If all my own kids did when they talked to me was complain or ask for stuff, I'd probably want to cut their tongues out. It is really those times when we just talk that I truly delight in them. Now put yourself in God's place. Do you think he wants to cut your tongue out? I'm pretty sure he does mine.

Just something to think about.

Today I went to the funeral of my great Uncle. He was only 74 years old. He died as a result of a disease he has battled for several years now. The disease attacked his body in such a way that he eventually lost muscle function and movement of his ENTIRE body. He spent his last year and a half lying on his back in a bed in a nursing home.

At the funeral, one of his sons admitted that he is very bitter over the death of his father. He said that it wasn't fair that just when his dad was getting into his retirement and getting a chance to really enjoy life, his was taken away. The pastor commented later in the service that while he was a little bitter too over Charles early departure from this earth, that he was now in a better place where he wouldn't even miss the past 3 years or so he spent in pain. And the pastor also reminded us that we shouldn't wait until retirement to begin enjoying life. That we need to begin enjoying our life today.

That got me thinking about my life. How much of my life do I really enjoy? Do I enjoy "discussing" with my almost 4 year old why she can't have another snack after we just had that same discussion 5 minutes before? Do I enjoy changing 6 diapers a day, half of which are poopy - day after day after day after day...? Do I enjoy paying bills, doing laundry, cooking dinner, running countless errands to keep my family functioning, going to the grocery store??? My answer is no. But why don't I enjoy those things? Because they are things I can't stop doing, how can I begin to enjoy them? I don't have an answer but will be seeking God to help me find the joy in the daily tasks.

You see, I don't want to look back on my life in 30 years and wonder where the time went and wished I had enjoyed it more. This is my life, the life God designed and intended for me to have. He gave this life to me to enjoy and to make His name known. To not enjoy it would be an insult to my Creator - like I'm telling him the life he gave me is not good enough.

And by the way, who says I'll even be around in 30 years to wish for it all back. There is a quote that says, "Enjoy this moment, for this moment is your life."

What are you doing (or not doing) to enjoy this moment that God has given you? Please share - it may give me and others the encouragement we need to truly find the joy that God intended for us to have.

To date this blog has been about what is going on in our family, and it may still contain some of that. But I feel like God is calling me to stretch myself into a place of vulnerability that I've never allowed myself to go before. I'm not really sure what that means yet, but as an act of obedience, whether anyone reads it or not, I'm going to begin posting on my blog things that are on my heart - an online, open to the public journal, I guess. I like to keep to myself - I can count on one hand and have fingers left over the number of people that know me - REALLY know me. I have lots of friends, but I let very few all the way in. I feel like God is asking me...telling me really, that I need to not only let others in, but I need to let myself out. To be REAL - not hiding behind a bubbly personality or a witty sense of humor. Please, don't run off thinking I'm going to start vomitting my junk all over this blog - that's not the plan. I'm just going to take my lead from the holy spirit. (I think God knows I'm on a budget and can't afford therapy - you be the judge.)

We finally closed on our house February 15th. This picture was taken before they were completely finished so the outside looks a bit different now but it's been so stinking windy or cold here, I haven't wanted to head outdoors to take any more pictures. Spring, please get here SOON! We love our new home and invite you to come over anytime for a visit.

We've been getting lots of questions about how our house is coming along. This picture is not quite current but pretty close - they have put the roof on and are waiting on inspections before putting up sheetrock and insulation; the brick has been in the front yard for almost a month so we expect to see that going up soon, too. Building a house is a lot of fun but a LONG wait, too. We still hope to be in by March but we aren't scheduling any movers just yet. We just take it week by week and get excited just knowing we'll be there in a few short months.