now, 050606 is over.. there's no more 050606, 050706 le.. so, let me be myself for now, i will start taking 66 from tmr onwards.. i wanna start afresh.. blogged @ 7:54 PM i saw him this morning again.. this time, same bus.. but one head, one tail.. i think he saw me.. and i think he's avoiding me.. i took out the dice le.. and of course his pictures... seeing them make me really sad.. i dropped my tear when i reach sch.. i sat there quietly.. i took out everything and stuff them into my bag.. u may say i'm running away from my prob but what about him?? aren't he avoiding me too?? think back.. did i take the wrong step?? am i a failure?? i mean.. i really dun wanna take wrong step... i already took one 2 years ago.. i dun wanna repeat my mistake.. i only have sth to say now.. "if u wanna hate me, by all means hate me.. if u wanna block me, by all means block me.. if u think u will be happy like that, do whatever u are happy with.. if u dun wanna see me online, see me again, i will scarse.. really.. i dun wanna make everybody difficult.. i will gett off ur sight if u really hate me.. i dun mind being the hurt one.. dropping a tear for u.. some asked me what happened.. but i just shook my head.. i didn't want ppl to know i'm such an a**.. i would rather u hate me.. its all my wishful thinking.." i really dunno what more i can say.. i'm really tired.. ok, tmr onwards i will take 66 instead of 225.. i dun wanna see u again.. i'm sure u doesn't wanna see me too.. i will just end this wishful thinking of mine now.. at this moment, u shall get off my mind.. and i shall get off urs.. i will just treat u as my good friend.. purely good friend.. i dunno what i will be in ur mind, i hope i'm still ur friend.. i'm giving u up.. i'm not gonna disturb u AGAIN.. 050606 is over.. blogged @ 7:22 PM Saturday, July 29, 2006 well.. after gb i had to like rush to church.. cos i was like alittle late le.. and i was 30 minutes late for fellowship lor.. but lucky they only started then. hahah.. hmm.. great sia.. hmm.. dunno why i kinda headache today.. for the whole day at gb i hardly talk.. i was kinda sad i think.. well.. who knows what i'm thinking.. perhaps god? well.. doesn't matter.. hey. i'm supposed to be talking about talentime.. well, i wanted to ask him.. but as usual, i just know my friends doesnt go to churches.. and i think he wwill hate me.. i dunno why but there's a feeling he hates me.. but nvm.. hmm.. i just reached home and bro is chasing me for the comp.. so i had to faster.. oh ok lahs.. i shall end here le.. bye. blogged @ 9:36 PM Friday, July 28, 2006 today.. as usual went to sch taking 225 then 87.. here comes 2 at the same time.. i wanted to take the secnd one.. but the second one just left like that and i had to take the first one.. the second bus became his first bus.. and i just saw him took the bus.. and concidently, we happen to sit at the same place same position... i mean.. the place we sit is exactly the same.. and i just saw him go like that.. i dunno if i've made a mistake to like him.. but.. it just came naturally.. i know.. i know he will never like me.. guys dun like me.. guys dislikes me.. they think i'm fat, i'm ugly, i'm noisy, i'm bossy.. whatever stuff they said.. maybe my voice is really too loud.. and they hate me for that.. or its becos i'm too boyish? its not i wanted.. its really not what i have always wanted.. this few days. i have been feeling really weird... i dunno why.. it seemed that sth is missing in me.. i know i'm irritating.. i know everybody hates my voice.. i'll keep quiet then.. am i really born with no destiny for love?? am i just fated to be like that? i'll do things that u'll be surprised.. this is a promise from me toeverybody i know.. i dun wanna be looked down again.. i'm really tired.. really annoyed.. really really really tired.. i keeep my promise.. i dun wanna disappoint anybody... but somehow i'm really disappointed with my friends.. sometimes i just think that their words are empty..they are full of empty promises and empty speech that will just make me believe it.. yes i admit i am gulible and soft hearted but what can i do? is there a choice for me to choose my personalities?? NO there ISN'T.. blogged @ 9:47 PM well.. nth much.. instead of tutors we became coolies.. oh well... i knocked my leg.. ahhh.. its pain.. its very pain.. ahh i saw leong bing when i was rushing to cip.. haha.. i was late for about 5 minutes.. haha... i stunt dio lor.. ahh.. anyways... my leg really very pain sia.. the whole comp table knock so hard on my leg lahs,.. then instead of blueblack or what its a little swollen.. not obvious.. but trust me when u press its really painful.. ahh.. ok lahs... haha.. wah.. i'm really tired lahs.. blogged @ 9:30 PM Thursday, July 27, 2006 today i'm really tired.. so tired that i really have no such mood to blog.. i just reached home.. and as isay i'm really tired.. today' mood already not so good.. cos i'm kinda disappointed with my results.. for chinese and for geog... my chinese really dropped alot.. i dunno what happened.. for my geog, its always been 20 plus and i just couldn't get at least 25... well, i guess i'm not working hard enough... err. back to topic. today rehearsed for quite afew times.. now i got what my prob is le... i must really remember that mistake man.. i dun want any corkups on the actual day itself.. well.. i'm really tired.. gonna bath soon.. byebye.. blogged @ 6:38 PM Wednesday, July 26, 2006 its after sch.. after iL... when i'm going home... taking 225... the bus came.. HE came too... taking the same bus, having been friends for nearly 7 years, not even a word came out of our mouths.. i really felt as if we have become strangers.. i was kinda happy to see him.. i mean since the day i like him, i have always wanted to see him.. no matter afteer sch or before sch.. i admit it.. but after he seemed to be ignoring me.. i felt pulled down.. i really dun understand.. why if i see my friends on the bus or in the interchange, we will talk.. definitly.. even zhenxing sat with me... i mean one seat away... we talk to each other.. yes i know everybody have different personalities.. but why is he like that? i just wanna remain good friends.. i didn't say i wanna have a relationship with him, i didn't say i dun want this friendship.. i treasure this friendship from the day i know and accept him as my friend or even classmates... i really dun understand.. yes i like him.. so?? i mean why can't he just treat me the way he used to.. i dun see ath friends can't talk about.. he may not like me.. he may know that i like him.. he may be reading this blog of mine.. he may have alot of comments.. its just that he keept it to himself.. i know he won't come and see my blog.. i just wanna say that we are friends.. dun be afraid of me.. i won't eat u up.. pls.. treat me the way u used to.. thinking that u was avoiding me.. u said no.. but who knows.. i mean i dunno if u know i like u.. even if u know, pls promise me u won't avoid me.. i dun wanna lose this friendship. really..perhaps.. u know from the day i said i had sth to tell u.. and i ended telling u in numbers.. 4054530968. but i never know if u understand what the numbers are.. cos i just log off like that after the numbers are typed.. i still remember the day i liked u.. which is 050606.. 050706 is the day of my sch concert and its already a month.. now its 260706.. and its like 1 month 21 days? perhaps this is all what i'm thinking.. but really.. its been two years already.. remember the last? i dunno why.. i just couldn't have ath towards the other guys.. for this 2years since i graduated from yuneng... but somehow the day u helped me to carry the bag of rice, accompanying me running up and down the ntuc without complaints... i felt really sweet... its the first time there's actually a guy who carry things for me volunteerly.. normally, i only ask guys to carry then they will carry but he is like volunteer to carry it for me.. i really felt sweet.. well.. nvm.. i hope u are reading this.. or better no.. up to u.. blogged @ 4:04 PM Tuesday, July 25, 2006 i dunno lahs.. anyway.. i saw randy and zhenxing in the morning finally!!! ahh... btw, i'm in school.. having IT enrichment.. break time... so had time to blog a little.. haa.. anyways.. for the previous post, i hope nonody is affected.. haha.. hmm.. anyways.. lesson gonna start soon.. blog later when i reach home kk.. ok i'm back... nth to post anyway... so yeah lah.. i'm really tired... hais.. blogged @ 4:15 PM well, perhaps what i said maybe just what i think and may not exactly correct.. sometimes.. i dun understand.. why.. i wanna care.. i wanna care for others.. but why am i always the one who is unable to do ath or to help someone whom i wanna care.. its not that i dun wanna care.. i wasn't given the chance to... i really wanna care.. i mean not in the sense of being kaypo.. but.. i just wanna care.. just like today zaixuan was really sick.. i mean.. as a friend i should be caring for him.. i wanted him to go home and rest.. but he doesn't want to.. i have no intention in forcing him to go home if he dun want to.. somehow whenever i wanna care, i'm stuck.. i'm in between ppl who i think doesn't let me to go close him.. or whatever.. i'm just caring for him as a friend.. i mean this is what i think.. somehow i dun really like ppl who interfere in stuff.. i mean interfering in ppl caring for ppl.. ok, nvm if u dun understand.. it doesn't matter.. i understand can already.. well, i dunno but i somehow think that i can't care.. i dunno what others think of me.. i can't read their minds.. i dunno how is their thinking towards me.. maybe i just can't get closer to anybody she cares.. ok whatever... i dun wanna talk about this anymore... well.. seriously i really wished i can care.. i wished i can get out of this sch... really.. i hate my sch.. no doubt i had happy times here.. but i had lotsa sad times too... sometimes i really think that nobody cares.. whether i'm dead or not, i guess nobody really take notice of who i am.. am i here.. or whatever.. there's too many stuff in me that is undescribable... and i hope nobody is reading this.. i really wished i wasn't here... well, i'm already here.. what to do.. i shall just study hard and get out of here quickly.. i admit i have unforgettable times here.... but i really hate this school.. ppl here sucks.. except for friends who have been really true to me.. i dun wanna talk about this really.. blogged @ 2:20 PM Monday, July 24, 2006 hahhaa.. today after iL still must pei vanessa Y to bugis buy her present.. wahh... i become coolie of the day le.. hahaha... she buy i carry.. bleahs... so damn big lor the tazmania devil she bought it for her girlfriend.. wahh.. i also want.. bleahs... haahah.. hmm.. today is carmen's birthday.. haa.. hmm.. she surely have alot of presents de.. i still owe her one!! ahh.. soon carmen, i will give u ur seal.. hahah.. hmm.. its a promise k! hahaa.. wahh.. if my bday alot of presents jiu hao le!! bleahs.. but i know surely won't de lah.. unless HE give lah.. bleahs... impossible one lah.. HE bu ke neng will give me de.. surely, confirm plus chop plus guarentee surely won't give me de.. hahaha.. not interested.. ppl say they got no meney.. hahaha.. but eric promise me to get me my myuk wallet!!! ahh.. haaha.. but haiyah.. dunno if he just say for fun de.. ehh.. i very good ok! i go order one "eric" glass give him ok! haha.. hmm.. anybody wanna give me presents?? all welcome.. hhahaa... bleahs... bhb... hahaha.. hmm.. fun lah today.. but quite angry with my class today... bleahs.. as usual.. -.- blogged @ 7:57 PM Sunday, July 23, 2006 hahaha.. ok i got to know one more new friend today.. well, went out with chailian and her friend franco.. and he's a year younger than us lor.. then i am gooseberry.. cos he like chailian mahh.. oops!! bleahs.. even he say i is dian deng bao.. hahaa.. ok lor.. win le lor.. bleahs... ok lah.. quite friendly lah.. i find that he sounds and looks abit like yikuan.. ok lahs.. maybe he doesn't really look like yikuan but somehow i think he sounds like yikuan.. i mean his voice and stuff..haha.. bleahs.. haa talking about yikuan, i dunno how long i never see him le.. near to a year bahh.. wahh even like i go home or whatever also i won't see him.. not even once.. bleahs.. butsometimes i will see puaysee or nelson one.. but nvm lahs.. wahh that franco hor.. as usual.. first time ppl see me, esp guys, they will say i fat one.. whatever.. used to it le.. but one thing i hate it most is when first time know only jiu suan me.. hais.. whatever lahs.. then we chiong to tuition.. i mean me and chailian.. yey!! mummy is back from malaysia!! she bought me a watch, slippers and all of us bubblegum!! haas.. hmm.. ok lahs.. i now very hot sia.. sian.. haa.. this few days i chatted with eric.. wahhso fun.. haa.. i ask him buy me wallet.. bleahs.. then chailian today go msg eric say what my bday they share money buy for me.. hahaha.. lame.. then i use chailian hp reply say she talking nonsense again.. hahaha.. ok lahs.. that was lame.. ssth more lame is that he replied dots.. i say there's no dots but there's stripes..HAHA.. LAME.. bleahs.. hahha.. ok lahs.. i still looking for my history wrkbk B.. hais.. if cannot find then must buy another one lor.. hais.. sad.. wahh.. next sat talentime.. but i didn't take part sia.. cos i know i couldn't sing so i didn't take part lors.. haha.. ok lahs.. post tmr if there's sth for me to post.. hahaa.. =) blogged @ 9:29 PM Saturday, July 22, 2006 haa.. had gb as usual.. had drills, badgework, recreation and of course devotion.. ha.. our company now got seperated into the different squads in the 34th coy.. but that's only for squad duties and stuff.. haa.. after g, we went tampines had lunch at long john's then went century square to see dunno what thing.. went home after that..haa.. i sat the same mrt with m'am hwee leng.. haa.. hmm.. had fun today.. but we did alot of ke kiri pusing and ke kanan pusing.. and of course some keblakan pusing.. wahh.. today the sun super strong lor.. my head is spinning now.. bleahs.. went church today.. after gb.. played captain's ball, chop chilli, honey do u love me? then no more le.. wahh.. today vince very pro.. he broke the flourecent light while playing captain's ball.. he throw the ball then the ball hit the lights.. wahh that was close.. hmm.. lucky nobody was injured.. haaha.. hmm.. next week's prog is talent time.. anyone wanna come with me? best is my budds.. guys?? gals?? bleahs.. hmm.. k lah.. no more le.. post some day later.. haha.. tata.. tc.=) blogged @ 8:14 PM Friday, July 21, 2006 wahh.. today i very lucky.. i saw carmen, randy, and i think KAYAN!! hahaha...bleahs.. haa today wore shariffah's kebayak[sorry if i spell it wrongly] to sch.. bleahs.. hmm.. although i wore the same as last year, but i still look nice. dun u think so??? i'm NATURALLY beautiful can.. bleahs.. bhb.. haha.. hmm.. wahh got cip today.. rushed home after sch.. haa.. everybody except me and huiyi reached earlier than 1430.. they no sense of responsibility de lehs.. hais.. but haiyah... i'm washing my hands of them.. bleahs... well, i enjoyed myself today.. took alot of pictures.. haha.. ok lahs.. i'm really tired now.. wanna sleep le.. tmr still got gb.. haha... byebye.. oh yeah.. i so sad,.. i wasn't able to eat with carmen for her birthday.. haa.. hais.. but nvm lahs... hope they[eric, teng, carmen and mel] had fun eating at seoul garden's.. hmm.. k lahs.. really tired le.. byebye.. haa.. our class.. part of the decor.. well.. quite nice huh.. but we didn't win ath..='( ms lim and pam.. [1g/2g] the bride of 2g.. hahha.. wedding gifts.. akhram with his big shades.. bleahs.. blogged @ 10:12 PM Thursday, July 20, 2006 haa.. wahh.. i first time flag barrier seh.. so scared sia.. haa.. really very anxious lor.. haha.. so damn tiring.. haa.. mummy going malaysia later le.. come back only on sunday night.. alot of laundry to be done.. but nvm.. can earn money de leh!! hahaa.. good u know.. hahaa.. bleahs.. wah.. jeremy also flag barrier leh!! then he keep asking me to stretch back the flag.. haaha.. cos cannot wai mahh.. haa.. i wanted to use to malay word but i dunno how to spell and i dun wish to offend them ya.. hmm.. soo tired.. wahh tmr got cip.. sian cannot go out with carmen they alpl.. tmr so many prog sia.. go out with my cousin, carmen and friends, go sch malay conversational lessons and cip.. hmm.. but i will go cip then.. haa.. hmm k lah.. got abrasion very tired.. wanna go sleep le.. haa.. tc. blogged @ 9:47 PM Wednesday, July 19, 2006 bleahs.. nth to post lahs.. but sth interesting.. i dunno if isd my ear got prob if not is the person tell me wrongly.. haha.. he last time told me his birthday is on 19 july.. then now he tell me is august.. bleahs... hurr.. nvm.. its ok.. hahaa.. blogged @ 5:24 PM Monday, July 17, 2006 once again its gb day.. everything went smoothly today.. but keluabaris sucks.. its like.. some hentak some march.. oh gosh its damn freaking messy lahs.. but nvm.. lucky i wasn't the one doing the marching.. bleahs.. i'm the one giving commands.. hurr.. but lucky i remembered the thing.. just that i didn't know ms ho have not finished her msg then i sedia le.. other than that, i guess the rest still ok.. just that some of the marching are not perfect.. but well, we are only 2 years old.. can't expect us to be soo damn perfect right.. hahas.. but onwe thing i hate most about our coy is that.. the gals doesn't have self discipline.. yes, all of us doesn't like wearing full U esp with the cap i must say..but its doesn't give all of us the reason NOT to wear k.. and when is in full U, u are not supposed to take off ur cap.. or ath on ur uniform.. and u are not supposed to take off your uniform until u are officially dismissed.. and what i meant by OFFICIALLY DISMISSED is, after vesper, bersurai ks.. not after sch and not after the parade can.. its for the whole freaking day lahs.. i'm utterly disappointed lor.. i know i shouldn't be doing stuff like asking them to do this and that but pls, i'm trying to help our coy k.. if u dun like, get out of here.. ok i know i shouldn't be doing this, but pls... i really wish our coy could be as united and as disciplined can.. one thing i can really say is," YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT DISCIPLINED. I CAN'T SAY I'M PERFECT BUT YOU PEOPLE AREN'T BETTER." and also," YOU GUYS ARE NOT PUTTING IN ANY EFFORT ALRIGHT. THINK BACK, HOW DID YOU TREAT YOUR DRILLS? YOUR OFFICERS? YOUR FULL U?? TELL ME LAH.. HOW MUCH EFFORT HAVE YOU PUT IN SINCE THE DAY YOU JOINED GB??" i have nth more to say.. i'm really disappointed.. REFLECT. blogged @ 3:06 PM Sunday, July 16, 2006 hmm its gb fortnight.. the first day.. well.. collected quite alot today.. quite disappointing that only 6 of us went to expo today.. hmm.. ok lahs.. i collected 168bucks today.. highest is jinghan[208].. followed by yijun[182].. then me[168].. then michelle[167].. then jovy[134] then last but not least xinhui[106].. hha.. hmm.. cool.. my fund got 50 dollar note leh!! u have anot? i got 2 can!! bleahs.. but money give teacher keep le.. haha.. hmm.. must buck up.. i wanna catch up with jinghan and yijun.. haha.. hmm.. tmr wear full U again.. finally its gb day.. and i'm the commander lor.. hahas.. i scared sia tmr.. bleahs.. ok lahs.. going tuition le.. blog tmr ks.. byebye.. blogged @ 3:50 PM Saturday, July 15, 2006 wah siao.. today wear full U, tmr wear full U, monday must wear again.. then 2 weeks later wear again.. i wonder how many times in july must i wear full U.. ahh.. nvm.. who ask me to be in the UG.. hahaa.. hmm.. bought my mmc reader!! cos the usb cable to my cam can't be found in challenger..so at last i bought that mmc reader.. hahh.. cool.. hahaha.. hmm.. nth much happen today.. sot diao.. haha.. =) blogged @ 8:05 PM Friday, July 14, 2006 haa.. went east coast after sch today.. i mean go home first then after that go meet cara and belinda.. hmm.. cool.. was fun.. ahh.. i now forgot everything le.. becos i type until halfway comp hang.. then now got to retype.. hmm.. but anyways.. as usual.. belinda blades.. and me & cara biked.. haa.. went bedok jetty.. wahh.. took alot of pictures.. 68?!! haa.. very cool u know.. =) hahaa.. hmm.. eww.. here's some pictures.. =) blades in between slippers. so innocent.. xD her face was red. xD sisters forever.. =) hear no evil.see no evil.speak no evil. nice... wind is strong huh?!! mini car.zinc.ink. young ladies. xD framed. =) hahaa.. too many pictures le.. so just put little bit.. haha.. =) blogged @ 9:41 PM Thursday, July 13, 2006 today after sch go home first then pei shihui go toa payoh return her comics.. then right we go eat ya kun roti.. wahh i first time eat that one.. haha.. hmm.. we chatted lot today.. on the bus to toa payoh and to tampines.. haha.. went tampines after going toa payoh.. we took neos.. i wanted to buy my octopus balls.. but then hor.. hais.. nvm.. hmm.. i bought chicken balls instead.. hahaha.. hmm.. wahh i reached home only at 8 plus? haha.. hmm.. had great chat with shihui today.. haha.. =) blogged @ 10:20 PM wahlao.. regretted choosing some ppl in my music group.. they dun contribute lor.. they dun cooperate lors.. its like me and sophia do the talking and ask them for ideas they dun even speak up just becos they no mood.. i see them i also no mood lah.. i also cried lah.. i dropped a tear.. but not becos i'm sad.. i'm utterly disppointed in them.. but it doesn't last.. trust me.. it only last for last than an hour.. blogged @ 10:16 PM Tuesday, July 11, 2006 tuesday everytime not free one sia.. i every tuesday like very busy sia.. today i really no time to do my homework lor.. i got enrichment lesson, i got tuition, i got alot of things lor,. and i had to do my homework.. make some changes to my cip powerpoint.. and whatever.. there's just soo much for me to do today.. but overall, today's day was alright.. no fear, no tears.. =) blogged @ 10:58 PM Monday, July 10, 2006 what's the problem with being happy?? when i sad u ppl ask me be happy then i happy ur ask me be serious.. what sia.. haiyah.. no mood to blog le lah..byebye.. blogged @ 9:55 PM Saturday, July 8, 2006 ahhhh.. help me!! i think my super heavy duty phone spoil le!! wah lao.. nokia 3310 leh!! how can spoil?!! ahhh.. somebody help me pls.. i'm really pathetic. its ever since i dropped it in the train last sat, my phone become sot diao le.. ahhh.. heavy duty haiyah change the name to light duty can.. i drop so many time also noprob now i drop one time only ssot diao le... anyways.. if u wanna contact me at the moment, call me house bahh.. most of the time at home.. ha.. i very guai de.. after sch jiu come home le.. so very easy contact... hahaha.. blogged @ 10:56 PM ok i'm sorry aite.. i mistook somebody's word for scolding shihui.. shihui emailed me.. told me we made a mistake.. well.. ok i'm sorry.. blogged @ 8:41 PM went st hildas as like last week.. hmm.. nth much to write about gb today.. but i know gb is very very disorganise with time.. they said they would dismiss us at 12.. but they end up dismissing us 1 hr later.. and that makes me unable to go home and change first before go church.. but nvm.. who ask me to be in the ug.. hmm.. after gb today, i went tradehub for fellowship.. today's prog is xiao zu dong li.. play around with creativity, teamwork, appearances and whatever with food.. our group is making sushi.. whee.. but vincent so eeyer lor.. when making the sushi u know what he do? he go lick his fingeers.. bleah... but we still managed to get 1st.. hohoho.. wah the other groups horr.. they keep pinching out food.. just like qiying starts going round pinching other group's food.. haha.. oh yes, zoey and siyuan going round pinching food too.. hahh.. hurr.. but nvm.. a good deed a day makes the day.. =D hahaha.. hmm.. ok lahs.. think nth to report le.. byebye!! =p blogged @ 8:07 PM Friday, July 7, 2006 when we was going home today from school, "A" and gang started to say "san ba lao" loudly when we walk past them... shihui told me they were talking about her becos they dun like her.. just becos they are jealous of shihui and daryl soo close can.. pls lor they know each other 6 years le lor.. not surprised that they are still good friends now ok.. then i scold them back.. i say they better than nth.. then i called them bitches.. and its true can.. they have no rights to scold shihui lor.. they are younger than us lor.. and some more they litle things also complain to their BIG SIS lor.. then that BIG SIS go call shihui and scold her lor.. i find that there is no need to complain unless she did sth wrong.. oh pls.. dun be such an arsehole lahs.. dare to say ppl still claimed that u scolding ur friend.. whatever lame stupid excuses u can give, u dare to do it, u dare to say.. complain tour BIG SIS also no use one lor.. think u got back up we will cared u ahh.. i also alot what.. just that i dun resort to violence. . and what's more most of my friends doesn't do that.. u only resort to violence if u an arsehole... give warnings?!! oh pls, i dun take that.. call me if u dare.. 96943375.. if u have the guts to ay others and to act lians, u have the guts to call me.. scold me lah.. i scared u.. -.- pls.. uur younger and smaller than me ok.. there's no way a younger one is gonna beat a bigger and older one if u dun have respect ok.. u want others to resoect u, pls respect others first.. and oh yeah.. what u are doing now to others will be reflected in future to urself.. think before u act.. blogged @ 10:01 PM since u have asked me to plan ur stuff, u should have put ur trust in me.. and not telling me the place and i have to call the ppl for u.. if u dun trust me, then dun even ask me to do the planning for ur.. if u not happy with what i'm doing, dun ask me to do that again.. pls ok.. its either u give me ur trust or not, dun even ask me to plan anything.. not everybody is as rich as u who lives in a condo ok.. even if u are that rich, money is not for u to spend this way.. sakae or seoul garden?? i know ur all very rich.. but pls think of others' pockets ok.. we are not treating, we are not sharing money to supply ur food ok.. we dun have the money.. and u want cakes??!! do u really think we are that rich?? i dun see any need of planning this if u dun trust me.. i dun care if u are reading this or not, i just wanna tell u this, IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME, DON'T EVER ASK ME TO ORGANISE ANYTHING AGAIN. THE END blogged @ 9:36 PM Thursday, July 6, 2006 today.. i dunno why.. but my day just suck.. today i'm just a wierdo.. i was scolded by shihui when i came online.. i dunno what's goingon.. my mind's empty.. i'm unble to get things into my head.. i felt so blank.. but.. sometimes i really feel so upset that they keep on say they understand me but it seem that they dun really understand.. or even nobody even really understand me.. whatever.. my mood today is just so sucky that i can't take it myself.. blogged @ 8:55 PM hur..meet wanjing, daryl, paul, shane at inter just now at 1710.. haa.. i was late.. bleahs.. bus dun want come.. haa.. meet huiyi cityhall at 6.. then go eat.. siao daryl buy lollipop.. some more is thebig big one lor.. those which kids love licking it.. hurr.. CHILDISH!!! ahh!! haa.. we finish our food and waited for shihui's last min arrival and ruwan's last min giving of ticket.. hurr.. and plus together is ruwan last min give shihui ticket.. anyways none of us wanted to watch.. bleahs.. we aren't that interested.. we are more interested in watching out tvee prog.. haa.. we chiong from cityhall mrt to victoria theatre lor.. cos we gonna be late mah.. then wah kao full house lor.. still ask ppl go when there is like less than 800 seats.. wasted my 20 bucks of edusave fund.. argh!! but was ok lahs.. got litle gal very cute sia.. haa.. hmm.. i saw kim and li at the back row.. i was one row infront of them.. haa.. me, shihui, wanjing and daryl sit together then huiyi, paul and shane have to go other place sit.. bleahs.. but poor paul.. he had to sit alone.. or maybe with his friends.. i dunno.. haa.. after the musical night, me, wanjing, shihui chiong back cityhall mrt from victoria theatre.. hur.. marathon huh?? run to and fro.. haa.. i sweated soo much lor.. shihui and wanjing dun wanna take picture with me.. well, they just hate taking pictures.. but i really hope i can take a picture with them together before we seperate class.. and may not be as close as now.. well, some times they claim to understand mee.. but sometimes i think they seriously dun.. oh well.. off topic.. bleahs.. shall not talk about this.. hmm... soo late then come home lors.. 11 plus to 12 reach home leh.. then just got settled down.. hurr.. its now 12 plus and i still haven't done my history homework.. but i'm sure i can finish it.. by.. tmr.. or should it be later?? hurr.. whatever.. hmm.. its getting late.. gonna sleep soon.. seeya later/tmr.. =) blogged @ 12:28 AM Wednesday, July 5, 2006 haa.. just now i so rush for time.. now also but i have bathed and ready for the musical night tonight.. hais.. oh yeah.. went to zaixuan's house today.. he so damn on lahs.. any ways, we went his hous becos he found a bank book near our sch and we must like go get it to go to give it to the police.. see we soo good.. bleahs.. of course give police lah if not other ppl bank book i think we have nth to do with it too.. but its also becos of good deed duhh... hahaa.. hmm.. after go zaixuan's house shihui and wanjing go police i go meet carmen.. haa.. that zaixuan sot le.. go make his hair spiky.. bleahs... -.- hais i so damn sad lah.. i lost my 10 dollars lahs!!! some more i only realised it when i was queuing up for food during recess... 10 dollars!!! not 1 dollar!!! arghh.. but of course i suspected who lah.. ppl from my class.. i think.. argh.. kahming snatched my handbook to see what's going on in my handbook lors.. hurr.. most chinese guys in my class know about it le.. so.. next time, dun take my handbook ok!! shh.. u will see somebody's name.. hahahaa... i dunno why i have his name on it but i just feel like having his name on my handbook.. hahaha.. bleahs.. ok lah blog later.. gonna get changed soon.. have to get ready for king and i.. haa.. i wished its my prince and i.. HAHA.. okok its pretty lame.. haa.. ok lahs.. really needa go le.. tata.. blog later when i come back from king and i.. haa.. =p blogged @ 4:10 PM Tuesday, July 4, 2006 bleahs.. today is tuesday and guess what i bring to sch?? i bring monday's books to sch!!! ahh.. i can't believe i'm that dumb.. now teacher write my name in class diary.. hur.. becos i didn't bring my work!!!.. ahh.. nvm.. its ok.. hais.. tmr musical night le.. i really can't imagine how tmr will be.. hais.. i wished he could come.. bleahs.. okok.. i know he wouldn't.. becos he wouldn't go out solo wit me.. then at night solo go home.. we take same bus go home lor.. then its like.. familiar ppl will be surprised seeing me and him together.. i mean walking together.. like a couple.. bleahs.. he's not not bf i have to tell others if they ask.. ha.. must say he's my GOR.. bleahs... he say i his mei what.. so he's my gor lor.. i dunno what's wrong i actually told mr lee about cheukman.. i mean i actually told him that cheukman's the last guy i liked... and that its 2 years ago.. but i didn't tell him about SOMEONE.. hurr.. nvm.. its all in the past.. i dun wish to dig them out of my memories again.. i wanna put them back.. put them behind me.. its all over.. we didn't work it out last time and i'm sure we won't make it now either.. both of us have our own SOMEONE.. haa.. and i'm really glad we are still friends.. btws.. today during tuition, we did essay.. personal recount.. topic is:first approach.. its not like friends all that kinda stuff.. its about first approach to the one u loved or crush for a period of time.. oh well.. i'm not gonna really approach HIM.. but i guess.. let nature takes its course.. if we are fated to be together, we will.. and for ur info, i'm not talking cheukman.. i'm talking about someone else.. dun get mistaken.. i'm letting him decide.. i'm not sure and i dun think i'm gonna make the very very first move.. like saying oh i like u very long le leh.. blah blah blah.. i'm not that... whatever.. and yeah.. i gtg.. i'm kinda tired.. tired of this.. tired of everything.. i'm like sleeping through science and cme lesson today.. hurr... but i got found out sleeping.. haa.. i'm that tired.. after being so excited yesterday.. =D blogged @ 10:08 PM haa.. i was mad yesterday night.. bleahs.. was talking to peiyin.. then when someone comes online i just said hello to that person.. then i so excited lor.. bleahs.. u should who that someone is lah.. if i mention his name and if he reads my blog, then i will damn paiseh de.. haha.. hmm.. anyway.. i suddenly become his mei le.. i dunno when.. but jiu like that become his mei le..haha.. hmm.. wahh.. so high yesterday.. but i think he change le.. if not jiu shi i dun liao jie him well.. hahaa.. hmm.. klah.. going tuition le.. come back and blog if possible.. =) blogged @ 6:29 PM Monday, July 3, 2006 hur.. i didn't cut hair today.. teng's the only one who cut her hair today.. but sadly, its with derald, winston, jason and kokting.. hmm.. not sadly.. but alright lahs.. i feel that i can't be myself infront of them.. i mean its like.. normally i talk alot and very loud.. but infront of them i feel i'm so damn shy lor.. i hvae really nth to say to them.. i feel.. hais..nvm.. went to meet them in pasir ris.. met carmen first.. normally if we go cut hair, someone will go de.. ok nvm.. i shall not think about it.. today they zi lian again.. hmm.. today's a really bad day for teng.. he's angry again.. for dunno what reason.. for the msg i sent to someone.. nvm.. for what i think, this guy is so damn petty.. he should have given teng some space.. i know i shouldn't talk about it here.. shouldn't be kaypo.. but.. i can't stand the way he's treating her.... hais.. anyways, back to the topic.. went orchard after the cut hair.. damn sian.. nth to do one lor.. just took neos.. and oh yes.. carmen jot the wrong date.. hurr.. should be 3rd july not 3rd june.. HAHA.. one month back.. hurr.. hmm.. we are always talking about love and relationships and stuff.. then carmen and weiteng will start their story.. i just have to listen.. cos i dun have my story.. perhaps.. i really suck.. and yes carmen said ALL guys look in a gal only for their looks.. okok.. i've been talking about this issues for quite some time and i dun wish to continue.. teng was sad.. i know she was sad.. she's pretending to be happy infront of us in order to make us worry.. but she's putting on a brave front infront of us.. i know.. i can feel it.. although i know nth about realtionships and love but i observe.. i observe ppl around me who have relationships and love.. i dunno why others break up.. but i'm sure there's reasons behind them.. like.. character dun match, not happy with each other, two timer, cheated, betrayed, love triangle and blah blah blah.. i also dunno why others get into relationships.. hurr.. anyways.. i'm off topic.. as i say.. teng was sad.. really sad.. she cried in the bus.. on the way back to pasir ris from punggol.. she told she's unable to cry.. she's really hurt.. i wanted to scold him.. but i didn't becos i know if i do that, teng will be even more upset... so i didn't.. and he will bee embarassed infront of the others if i really did that.. and it may make things worst.. so i suggested keeping quiet.. i didn't wanna see teng more sad.. well.. if that A didn't let others see what i've wrote to him in the msg of friendster, teng and him won't be in this state.. hey, i was just like being friendly lor.. and its really rude to let others see a msg ppl sent to u ok.. not rude.. VERY rude.. and i hate this kinda guys.. no privacy at all.. i thought i could propably have some privacy lor.. ok whatever.. i swear i won't send msges to any of them again.. its such a big mistake that i actually sent that msg to him just becos i thought he was friendly.. and i was trying to be friendly.. well.. guys.. i hate them.. i mean.. not that hate but i hate their attitude towards me.. towards not so good looking gals.. ok whatever.. i dun feel like continueing.. blogged @ 4:57 PM Saturday, July 1, 2006 hmm.. just came back from family dinner.. it was fun.. i was sitting in between alson and zonghan.. then both of them got so lots of logically stuff one lor.. then alson so damn sarcastic.. but anyways... still alright lahs.. both younger than me.. one sec 1 one pri6.. kao.. their phone better than me sia.. mine 3310.. hahahs... stupid sia phone kana stolen then must use 3310.. hur.. its like everybody using at least colour phone lor.. i using black and white.. hahahaa.. but very good ok.. heavy duty one.. drop how many times also won't spoil.. hahaha.. better than those cam and colour phone..HAHA.. but i still gonna change phone.. mummy say phone lost must punish 2 years use old phone leh!! but i'm still considering myself lucky.. having a phone to use.. so i'm lucky!! hahhaa.. hmmn.. dinner was great today.. but zonghan didn't eat much.. kao.. zonghan and his two gors all so good looking.. esp his da gor and himself.. hahahaha... oops!!! looking at shuai ges again.. bleahs.. but i never talk to them one.. so i no chane de.. hahaha.. bleahs.. talking rubbish.. HAHA.. hmm.. monday i wonder if anyone will jio me go out not.. haiyah. they all so busy surely no de lors.. hurr.. nvm.. i shall stay at home.. hahaha.. eeyer i haven't bath yet!! ahh.. hahaaha.. oklahs going bath soon liao.. blog next time.. hee.. bye! =) blogged @ 10:43 PM haa.. today go st hildas' to join the gb girls for drill, devotion, roll call.... today first week of the month so must wear full U.. met m'ams at small mac 0830... but we were late for everything.. i mean like 1/2 hr late lor.. m'am was like.. wahh we first time jiu late le.. hahaha.. bo bian mahh.. got ppl late.. hmm.. we all also last min then have our caps on.. hahaha.. then we down there chiong.. hahaha.. hmm.. quite fun.. quite malu.. quite scared.. hahaha.. of course will scared lahs.. first time doing drill together leh.. with other gb gals.. haha.. hmm.. but i guess its worth it becos our drill sucks honestly.. haha.. no offence.. but its true.. well.. doesn't matter.. as we practise, we will get better.. read 1 timothy 4:12 "don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." in chinese is 提莫态前 4：12 “不可叫人小看你年轻，总要在言语，行为，爱心，信心，清洁上，都做出信徒的磅佯." sth like that.. if wrong cannot blame.. i dun have chinese version.. haha.. hmm.. i like this verse in the bible.. becos its says dun let others look down on u becos u are young.. and our company is just 1 year plus? and we can't be perfect.. and that's where practice makes perfect.. we are small.. we are young.. but i'm sure we will be like other older companies.. hmm.. anyways.. great day today.. but when some ppl ps me and without even telling me they go first or whatever and just left like that.. i hate ppl like that.. anyways.. i learnt quite alot today.. i learnt to be a comander.. although i'm not supposed to do so.. cos i'm not a sergeant.. bleahs.. just a lance corporal.. hmm.. but i get to give command today.. bleahs.. i mean i was asked to do so.. but a drill instructor of st hildas' i think the name is m'am li ting.. hmm.. she's 20 u know..and i thought she was 16 or 17 if not 15.. sergeant ok!! haha.. hmm.. got learnt unform inspection too.. hmm.. overall its fun today.. yeah.. met mummy at small macs after gb.. mummy very cham.. she waited for me 2 hrs.. becos i told her my gb ends at 12 but it ended at 1315.. overtime!!! ahh.. she was there already at 1130.. ahh.. cos today going buy clothes for my wed going victoria theatre to watch king and i.. our school public performance.. i going for the night one.. so i meet her go buy my stuff lor.. i dun wanna go afternoon one becos its gonna be more fun in the night mahh.. hahahaa.. we were forced to go for that show.. anyways.. out of point.. hmm.. then tonight still got family dinner.. my da gu and xiao gu blanjah.. hahaa.. cool huh.. blogged @ 9:36 PM