I miss her terribly; some days are harder than others.
Below are the words that I spoke at her funeral.
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Thank you all for coming and for honoring my Grandmother with your presence.
On Friday, the Lord called one of his Saints home, where she has met her Savior and is clothed in glory.
I'm still a little shocked to be here, telling you about my grandmother, because she was so strong and independent. I almost believed that she was immortal.
Betty Joyce M. was born on November 15th, 1938, in a house (not a hospital), the eldest child of Ida Ruth and Ellis "B".
Being the daughter of sharecroppers, Grandma did not have very much growing up, and never had running water in her home until she was married.
She spent the summers helping to care for her younger siblings, Bill, Sarah Nell, and Jane, and later picked cotton in the field, but her escape was in the classroom. She loved school and the retreat it offered, and was a lifelong reader and learner. She was an honor student, member of the Beta Club, and read almost every book in the school library. The librarian worked hard to find books that she had not read.
She met Norman, Jr. on a blind date, setup by Charles Herrick and Betty English, who later went on to marry, and got married when she was just 16. After leaving home for marriage, she was never ashamed of her modest upbringing, and all the same, never ashamed of leaving it behind for a new life.
She had my dad, Kenneth, eighteen months later, and identical twins Sherri and Terri less than two years after that in Crestview, Florida. The twins were a surprise… she didn’t know there were TWO until after the FIRST >8 lb baby was born and the doctor told her a SECOND (>8lb baby) would soon follow. I don’t know any other woman who has given birth to twins, each weighing over 8 lbs, and who looked as beautiful and radiant as my grandmother!
Grandmother and Granddaddy moved to Huntsville about six weeks after the birth of Sherri/Terri. The move to north AL was only supposed to be for a year, so they did not sell their Florida house. However, Granddaddy got some opportunities in Huntsville that he might not have had in FL, and they liked the area, so they stayed.
As Redstone Arsenal expanded with NASA and the military, houses were in critical supply. Mr. Blocker, one of the Sherwood Park builders, told Grandaddy about a house for sale, and so Granddaddy and my father viewed the house at night by flashlight. They bought the house in early 1960 and Grandmother has lived there ever since.
Grandmother was married to my grandfather for 31 years, before he passed away when I was just 4 years old. She found love again, later marrying for the second time to Herb McKelvy, a very kind and loving man. They were married for almost a decade and she took care of him when he became sick and then passed away five and a half years ago.
She was gracious, quick-witted, feisty, loyal, utterly dignified, and the most loving grandmother.
She was also incredibly spunky.
Once, in the 60's, a strange man tried to get into the car with her while she was filling up at the gas station. Instead of becoming too scared to drive alone anymore, no,... she went out and bought a 22 special that she would keep in her purse and then leave on the car dashboard while she was driving, in clear view for everyone to see! No one ever tried to get into the car with her again.
It was the same spunk that she called upon when she teasingly threatened my groom on our wedding day if he didn't somehow find a way to "bring me back from Texas"... we moved home three months later!
One time, when I was a small child, my parents picked me up after a weekend at Grandma's. On the car ride, I started yelling out the window at the other cars, "GET OUT OF THE WAY, GRANDMA!... Turkey driver!" When my parents later recounted the story to her, Grandmother gasped and blushed, and they knew immediately where I had picked up such an endearing habit...
She spent a lot of time with my sisters, Amanda & Amy, cousin, Rachel, and me growing up. She loved us and was a wonderful grandmother to all of us. I have a lot of fond memories of sleepovers at her house, playing scrabble, her painting our fingernails, and watching Nick at Night.
When I was a freshman in high school, my mom was out of the country on an extended work assignment, and so Grandmother took me shopping for my Homecoming dress. I didn’t have any shoes that matched, so she even loaned me a pair of her shoes... she loved shoes!
She was a longtime member of several social and charitable organizations, and had a special love for all of her charity work with the Shriner’s Children’s Hospital.
She loved her family well. She loved her younger siblings and looked out for them. Bill and Jane both spent time with Grandmother once they graduated and moved out of the house, before getting jobs, getting married, and settling down with families of their own. They all spent a lot of time together these past couple of months.
Jane, you spent weeks at a time caring for Grandmother, and making the long drive back and forth from Mississippi. Thank you.
Uncle Bill, you came over and sat with Grandmother every day. Thank you, I know it meant so much to her.
Terri and Jimmy, you loved and cared for her sacrificially and selflessly every day for 10 weeks, and for an entire lifetime before that. Thank you.
And my parents, thank you. You coordinated logistics, finances, and cared for her daily, even after long hours of watching five grandchildren.
Grandmother was adventurous. She took more trips than anyone I know. She traveled all over North America with her friend Shelba and was planning to go to Puerto Rico this fall. She never slowed down, even at 78!
My grandmother taught me many things. What may be one of the most important lessons, she saved until the end. She taught me how to love well during her life, but she taught us all how to finish well.
She hated being sick and was never a fan of hospital or needles ... sometimes, over the years, we would hold our breath as a nurse came in to administer an IV or some other procedure if she was in the hospital.
But not these past two months. She was the epitome of gracious and loving. By God’s grace, even when she knew that she would not be getting better, she kept her spirits up and constantly told us how much she loved us.
My grandmother was a devout believer. Although private, she talked with conviction of her faith in a holy, sovereign, and loving God to those who knew her well.
She told me that she wasn’t afraid to die, because she was sure of her salvation.
Before she was no longer able to speak, one of our last conversations involved the hope that we have for our eventual reunion... I told her I knew we'd be together again, and that my greatest wish was for our Savior to call my children, their children, and our entire family to Himself. That one day, we might all be joined with her, knit in perfection, singing praise to our Almighty Father for eternity.
She lived well and she finished well, and one day we will be reunited.
To God be the glory!
