The Harris Report

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Jack is 5 - a post and link to photos

Posted by Becca at Sunday, August 04, 2013

True story. I birthed him, he got bigger, and now he's five! Holy cow! I'd say that the time has flown by, but that's not strictly true :). However, we do love him dearly, and he is such a sweet, smart, funny five-year-old. For his birthday he wanted a shark-themed party. So I scoured Pinterest to come up with the best and least-complicated ideas, and I think it turned out pretty fun. We had the party last Saturday, and Jack insisted that Mike and I decorate on Friday night after he was in bed, so that he could come downstairs on the party day and be surprised. Very Christmas-esque. I believe that he may have inherited my great sense of sentimentality when it comes holidays and birthdays. We have a good time together :). Anyway, back to the party, we had one of his friends over and he and Jack and Eli partied it up. They played with a bubble machine that we got for the occasion that drained an entire bottle of bubbles in about 5 minutes flat. Good thing bubbles are cheap?? They did a shark craft, made sharks out of food (with homemade graham cracker bodies, apple tails, and tortilla chip fins), played a lovely game of Pin the Fin on the Shark, and played Ocean Life Bingo [note to self: the two-year-old will be more interested in eating the chocolate chips than in using them in bingo]. For decorations we had put up a blue sea wall with shark fins and seaweed and shells. We also hung green streamers in the stairwell so you had to walk through them to get downstairs. This was a BIG hit. Food, you ask? Why yes, of course, we naturally had a shark-themed cake and ice cream and all of the components of the edible sharks, as well as pizza for lunch. Naturally everything was homemade since it needed to be gluten and dairy free, so there was a substantial amount of work involved. It was fun but exhausting. I think that Jack had a really good time. For gifts this year, Jack wanted some shark and snake stuff. He's really into animals right now, and he actually knows quite a lot about certain ones. Side note, we went to Sea World a few weeks ago, and when we walked into the shark exhibit he immediately started naming off what types of sharks he was seeing. A little later one there was a placard with the names of the types of sharks, and he was dead one. He's like a sponge I tell you, a sponge. He's got a few favorite snakes: Reticulated Pythons (he calls them "retics" for short), Black Mambas (named thus because the insides of their mouths are black . . . creeeeepy), and of course, the diamond-back rattlesnake because what's cooler than a snake that makes a menacing sound before it kills you? Anyway, he loves sharks, snakes, spiders, the human body, and earth science/geology (earthquakes, hurricanes, etc.). He got several books, some shark and spider and snake toys, firefighter outfits for him and Eli, and a Magic School Bus Human Body Science Kit [Very cool, by the way. We made a stethoscope out of it the other day, and it was pretty awesome.].

Ok, on to the pictures. We've got a wide assortment here, ranging from a picture of Mike that I think is from his last day of work at the firm to the trip we took to Utah during the two week break between jobs, camping, Jack's preschool graduation, to a visit from some of Mike's family (including Stephanie and her husband Adam and adorable daughter Annie), Jack's birthday, and some shots of Jack at his soccer class. He has loved this class, and his coaches are awesome with him. Eli was originally in the class with him, but he got mortally offended every time the coaches ever-so-politely reminded the class that "There are no hands in soccer". I don't think it was so much that he likes picking up the ball with his hands as that he doesn't like being told what to do. This happens frequently. Anyway, now he sits on the sidelines with me and watches, but last week he insisted on bringing our football with him to Jack's soccer class, and then he tried to participate in the class using the football instead of a soccer ball. It was really hilarious.

Click here to go to the Google+ album. [If you click on a picture in the album, it will bring up a slideshow with captions.]

I guess I should end this post with a note about Jack, since I started out talking about him. He is a very kind, thoughtful, creative, genuine, sharp, happy, child. We are so thankful for him and for the great brother he is to Eli. Being a parent is often very -- trying -- but we have very good children who are our greatest treasures, and for that we are immensely grateful :).

Monday, June 17, 2013

The Story: Part 3 of 3

Posted by Becca at Monday, June 17, 2013

Ok, I know you've all been on the edge of your seats, waiting for the final installment of this exciting story, so here you go :). Thank you for listening :).

_____________________________________________________________________

Daily Life

So what does this all look like in our house? Well, I’ve been sick off and on since November, which has not been lovely. In fact, I felt like I was pregnant, which I was not (lots of nausea, headaches, etc.). Turns out the symptoms of detoxing are very close to those of being pregnant (there are reasons for that of course, but that’s a topic for another day). Oh joy joy. Here’s the good news though. About February, I started having days and then a full week at a time where I felt like my SPD was just gone – hardly any symptoms of it at all. This has propelled me into sticking with all of these changes we’ve made. In May I started feeling even better mentally/sensorily (read: it’s been freaking amazing!). The nature of all of this is that you take two steps forward and one step back. So during the whole process, I’ll feel exceptional for a few days and then not so great for a day. Soon that turned into exceptional for a week and then not so great for a few days, and I expect it to continue on a pattern like this.

Along with the abating of symptoms of the SPD and OCD, I’ve also noticed some other great changes that have happened:

*Less cravings: Umm, yeah, all my life I’ve been in love with sugar, and while I still love sugar, I just don’t crave it as much. I feel like I actually have that “stop eating” reflex now, whereas before that never really liked to kick in. From what I understand, the serotonin in your body is responsible for giving that “stop eating” reflex, and in people with OCD, your brain does not have enough serotonin. So I’m thinking that my serotonin production has increased (or at least the uptake of it has decreased).

*Hormonal changes: Yeah, I’m not going to go into detail here, but let’s say that many things have changed for the better.

*Skin changes: It just looks healthier, and so do my nails, which are generally an indicator of health.

And what about Jack? Oh, he’s doing great. Mr. “I only eat toast, cereal, milk, and cheese” has turned into Mr. “I love broccoli, rice milk, mixed foods, and gluten free muffins”. Of course he’s still a big fan of hot dogs and (GFCF) pizza, cookies, etc., but he’s become much more willing to try things, such as stuff that’s a little spicier or crunchier or mushier or different looking. And instead of full body tantrums about not wanting to eat something, he offers a little resistance and then generally gives in fairly easily. He’s also being a lot more flexible. That is to say, he’s willing to do things a little differently or to give in to Eli’s crazy notions or to just not flip out whenever something happens that he doesn’t like. Hallelujah. He’s also become more dependent about things – truly interested in putting his own shoes on, doing up his carseat, etc. I think he’s feeling more confident in himself.

Most of what I’ve said has been about Jack and I, but I need to give credit where credit is due. Mike has been very patient and willing to try new things and willing to put in the time to do this whole process. It’s really hard to jump into this whole alternative medicine thing because it’s not as easily backed by decades upon decades of statistics and readily available R & D (although more is coming out all the time about the effectiveness of these types of treatment plans). This has been a real trial of faith, and while I’ve been able to quickly see the changes that have happened, since they’ve been in my own body, Mike has just taken my word for it and put his energy and his tastebuds and his pocketbook into it. There will never be a better husband than him, of that I am sure. He has put up with dinners that were total bombs, a sick detoxing wife, and all manner of things, all the time trusting that it was for the best. He is the best thing in my life and has been from day one.

The overarching theme of the last six months or so? The proof is in the pudding. What we are doing is changing how our bodies work, whether or not we understand why or how. I cannot refute that. So even for all of the ugliness that has been involved in the process and all the back-and-forth of feeling good and feeling rotten, I wake up every day knowing that my body is functioning better than it used to, and so is Jack’s. And that is a beautiful thing.

Friday, June 14, 2013

The Story: Part 2 of 3

Posted by Becca at Friday, June 14, 2013

The much anticipated Part 2 of 3 (see previous post for Part 1 . . .) ;^)

The previous post left off as we started to describe the multi-faceted approach to healing that we've been taking over the last six months or so. Number one was the GFCF diet. And here continues the list :).

2. Detoxification & Homeopathic remedies (in the form of drops and vitamins/minerals/algae –yum -- ) I will be the first one to admit that I don’t completely understand this entire process, and what I do understand I generally fail miserably at explaining. So, here are a few paragraphs from a website that I felt explain it well:

Toxic chemicals and pollutants get into our bodies all the time. For example, many of us have dental fillings of mercury amalgam that were considered harmless when they were put in. Now we know better.

The body eliminates toxins naturally all the time through the kidneys and the colon. But many toxins imitate nutritional minerals and hormones and get into the cell walls, bones and ligaments. Some toxins can even fit into hormone receptor sites on cell surfaces. When this happens, normal elimination doesn't work efficiently and the healthy functions of these tissues are damaged. As toxic poisoning increases, tissues and cells stop functioning well.

[From: http://www.naturodoc.com/library/detox/detox-main.htm]

So the upshot is this: You do what you can to rid your cells of toxins, and then they will function better, and you will be healthier, in a multitude of ways. To do this, you ingest substances that are known to help your cells release those toxins, and you also take substances (“binders” if you will) that will then grab onto those toxins and escort them out of your body (so that they don’t end up circling back and being taken up again into your kidneys/colon. Yes, the whole process is just as delightful as it sounds . . . J. So, we’ve been taking all sorts of things to help this process along, as well as some other vitamin/mineral supplements to target brain recovery.

3. Cleaner eating We have cut out a lot of those things that you often hear bad stuff about but that you pretend not to hear because thinking of cutting those things out is just too painful. Well, it is indeed painful, but it is also doable and worth it, in my opinion at least. So we’ve cut out or cut down on high fructose corn syrup, most soy, some corn, dyes, msg, artificial sweeteners, diet soda, etc. Yes, that means we eat very little processed foods, and that I bake a LOT.

4. Essential oils Again, I really suck at explaining this stuff, so here’s a quote from a book I have on essential oils (Modern Essentials):

Essential oils are the volatile liquids that are distilled from plants (including their respective parts such as seeds, bark, leaves, stems, roots, flowers, fruit, etc.)

Essential oils embody the regenerating oxygenating, and immune-strengthening properties of plants.

Essential oils are so small in molecular size that they can quickly penetrate the skin.

Essential oils are lipid soluble and are capable of penetrating cell membranes, even if they have hardened because of an oxygen deficiency. In fact, essential oils can affect every cell of the body within 20 minutes and then be metabolized like other nutrients.

Essential oils contain oxygen molecules that help to transport nutrients to the starving human cells.

When I was first introduced to them, I kind of had this vision of putting olive oil all over my body. Yuck. The reality is so much better! Basically, they come in little bottles, each one distilled from a different plant, and you put a drop or two on the soles of your feet (where the pores are big and can soak up the oils quickly) or on whatever part of your body is hurting. Or, you can sniff them [read: I’m huffing essential oils] or diffuse them in something that looks like a miniature version of that vaporizer you had in your room when you were like nine and your coughing sounded like a freight train. Also, there are many of them that you can swallow (you put drops of them in a little capsule and swallow that). The great thing about essential oils is that they are fast-acting (10-15 minutes before you start feeling better), they are effective (for reals, these things actually work, as if they were drugs!), and they won’t gunk up your cells. What do we use them for? Colds, itches, headaches, nausea, allergies, bad moods, rashes, infections, yada yada yada.

5. Detoxifying our personal care products Since we started using essential oils and realized how much is absorbed through your skin, what naturally followed was a “duh” moment, when I thought “Wait a minute, if the oils can get into my body, then so can everything else that I put on my skin.” Then I remembered all of the toxins/metals/chemicals that I am trying to get OUT of my body and figured I shouldn’t be putting them right back in. So, we’re working on switching over to some more natural things (soaps, cleaners, etc.). I’ve scoured Pinterest (it was a tough job, but someone had to do it, right?) for all kinds of DIY recipes for these kinds of things and have found some winners.

6. Less use of pharmaceuticals Part of the chemicals that can build up in your body can actually come from drugs that you take (see how bad I am at making that sound legit? Just because I can’t explain it the right way doesn’t mean it’s not true, just remember that!). As such, I’m trying to dial down my usage of pharmaceuticals; I’m using essential oils to control allergies and headaches and am in the process of weaning off my meds for the OCD/anxiety.

7. Rebuilding the flora of the gut Along with taking out the gunky stuff, you also want to put back in some good bacteria. To do this you can take acidophilus or other probiotics, etc. I’ve been making and drinking kefir water. I have yet to ever enjoy drinking it, but I’m getting better at finding ways not to gag J. My parents did an impressively good job of instilling in me the value of doing something, even if it’s tough. Can you tell?

Sometimes I feel like all of this is just a big balancing act. The more you read about things that can “hurt” you, the more things you feel like you should change. But you know what? You can’t make all those changes overnight, and some of them will never be made at all. For instance, I’m fully aware that it would be better for us to eat fully organic food, but that’s just not something we’re spending money on right now. I also think we probably shouldn’t use the microwave as much as we do or eat hot dogs too much or use all white sugar or drink unfiltered water – so many things! But it’s just not feasible to make all those changes right now, and maybe not ever, and I’m ok with that. I’m ok with just doing what we can and what works for us. We do what we can and balance it with our personal happiness and even with convenience (refer back to personal happiness).

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Story: Part 1 of 3

Posted by Becca at Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I’ve been thinking that it would be good to really write about all of the changes that we’ve been making in the last six months or so. So, should you have some time to spare J, here is Part 1 of 3 of The Story about all of the health changes we’ve been making. Don’t feel obligated to read it all, I just thought it might interest some people, and it was a very good exercise for me to be able to spell out the what and the why and the how of all of these things.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), an Autism Spectrum Disorder:

Sensory processing is a term that refers to the way the nervous system receives messages from the senses and turns them into appropriate motor and behavioral responses. Whether you are biting into a hamburger, riding a bicycle, or reading a book, your successful completion of the activity requires processing sensation or "sensory integration."

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with taking in, processing and responding to sensory information about the environment and from within your own body (visual, auditory, tactile, olfaction, gustatory, vestibular and proprioception). SPD [can be likened to] a neurological "traffic jam" that prevents certain parts of the brain from receiving the information needed to interpret sensory information correctly. A person with SPD finds it difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which creates challenges in performing countless everyday tasks.

http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder.html

Jack was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder in September of 2011. Earlier in the year (June or July?) I had been reading a book about potty-training, and it talked about kids with different types of personalities. One of the types was the “sensory sensitive” child. There was only a paragraph or two about this type of child, but it was a description of Jack. I was talking to my mom soon after and mentioned this, and we got into a discussion about this idea of being sensory-sensitive. She recommended that I read a specific book about it (I think she may have even sent me the book), and all of a sudden my child started making a little more sense to me. I took him to the pediatrician to get a referral to have him evaluated by an occupational therapist, and he was soon diagnosed. We immediately began occupational therapy for him and soon enrolled him in the Early Intervention preschool program, which is run by the school district, for preschoolers who would benefit from some extra help early on.

The more I read about SPD, the more I realized that I had it too (the cause of SPD is at least partially linked to genetics). So, as I learned about things that would help him, I started to use them on myself as well, and they helped me too, which further cemented my idea that I also have SPD. Soon we were fully entrenched in doing OT and at-home therapies. Reading books about what is going on inside of kids with SPD was like reading a journal from my own childhood. It was kind of eerie. But, I was glad to be able to understand myself better. I started to have a whole lot of epiphanies about objects, colors, foods, activities, etc., that I have always really liked or disliked; a lot of my preferences were based on the sensory properties of things. It’s been really awesome to kind of figure myself out. I had a similar experience in college when I realized that I had pretty bad OCD. I started reading a book about it one day, something that my mom had recommended, and it was like taking a tour of my own brain. After spending some quality time in the mental health section of the BYU library, I took myself in to my doctor and told him I thought I had OCD and anxiety. We talked, and he had me fill out a questionnaire, and then he prescribed Lexapro. Taking Lexapro changed my life; I hadn’t realized how different I really was because of the OCD/anxiety, until I got medicated and saw how much better my life could be. It was incredible, and I will be forever grateful to my sister Sharon who encouraged me to get some help. It was a game-changer.

Back to the SPD. Mike and I worked on so many things with Jack, like his gross motor skills, fine motor skills, eating combined foods and foods of different textures and spicy foods, emotional regulation, and social skills. These were all issues with me (to some extent) as a child as well. Jack’s occupational therapy helped a lot, especially with the eating issues, and his preschool helped with everything else. He has steadily improved over the last year and a half, through lots of hard work on the part of me and Mike and his preschool teachers and his occupational therapist.

I have a close friend whose son has severe autism. She is a very intelligent woman and has tried many different things to help him to be happy, and a few years ago she started to see a naturopath who claimed that she could help to reverse his autism. That’s right, the naturopath told her that she could help to (at least partially, if not fully) cure this boy’s autism. That’s a bold claim, but it is made easier to believe by the fact that the naturopath used to have two autistic children; now she only has one slightly autistic son and a totally normal daughter (no more autism!). Jeanette, the naturopath, used to have lupus, celiac disease, and several other very serious conditions, but she does not anymore. So the woman makes bold claims, but the proof is in the pudding. Anyway, my friend started taking her son to see Jeanette, and instead of him continuing to become more self-injurious and unhappy, he is starting to talk and is quite obviously improving. My friend really, really recommended that we go to see Jeanette to see if she could help with Jack and mine’s SPD as well as my OCD/anxiety. I was reluctant for a long time, knowing that there would probably be dietary changes involved and also knowing that it would not be cheap; insurance doesn’t cover naturopaths.

After a lot of thought on the topic, we decided that I would go to see Jeanette (the naturopath), in November (2012). She was able to run tests on me to determine what I could do to help alleviate some of the symptoms of the SPD, etc. and determined that I needed to stop eating gluten and dairy. She also suggested that we go ahead and take Jack off of gluten and dairy, surmising that his test results would be very similar to mine because of our particular set of issues, genetics, etc. Jeanette also gave me a set of homeopathic “medicines” to use to help my body on a detoxification process. This has been a very multi-faceted approach to “healing”. We started with me to see how the process would go and then have started the process with Jack as well, as we’ve seen how it’s worked with me. Here is what we have done, slowly but steadily, over the last six months or so:

1. Gluten free & dairy [casein] free diet (GFCF) Jeanette felt like we would be ok eating small amounts of butter, so we do, but that is the only dairy we eat. Why gluten free and dairy free, you ask? Someone else can explain it much better than I can, so here is the reasoning behind the GFCF diet:

One of the most promising new treatments is dietary intervention. Although many doctors still resist the notion that a special diet can help, for the most part diet is no longer considered an “alternative” therapy. It is supported by several peer-reviewed studies, thousands of documented case studies and a number of new, well-funded research projects. In fact, data from more than 25,000 parents collected by The Autism Research Institute over the last forty years shows that diet is one of the most successful interventions for ASD, achieving positive results in 65 percent of the children who have tried it.

All dietary treatments for autism share one underlying principle based on clinical observations: the gut has suffered damage resulting in permeability and depleted enzyme production. The goal of the diets currently in use is to heal the gut, improve digestion and absorption of nutrients and remove foods that directly or indirectly lead to autistic symptoms. To do this, each of the diets emphasizes one or several aspects of this problem:

• removing allergens and other problem foods.

• treating gut dysbiosis.

• adding supplements to replace missing nutrients.

• using digestive enzymes to improve digestion and the absorption of nutrients.

• identifying and treating any underlying problems

The Gluten-Free, Casein-Free (GF/CF) Diet

This intervention has its origin in the observation that some symptoms of autism resemble those shown by individuals addicted to opiate drugs. Research has implicated the incomplete breakdown of gluten and casein during the digestive process, probably due to the absence or inactivation of an enzyme called DPP-IV. When these proteins are not completely digested, they can retain opioid characteristics and, in fact, opioid peptides have been found in the urine of autistic children since the early 1990’s. Because the autistic gut is generally “leaky,” these peptides can pass out of the gut and into the bloodstream, ultimately crossing the blood-brain barrier. These peptides mimic neurotransmitters (the chemicals responsible for communication between nerve cells) and cause all sorts of neurological mischief.

The premise of the diet is simple: remove the source of the opioid peptides in order to reduce the neurological effects. In addition, many researchers believe that gluten and casein irritate the intestines of sensitive children, so removing them from the diet promotes intestinal healing.

The diet gained widespread popularity when the emergence of the Internet made it possible for vast numbers of parents to compare notes and share information. There are hundreds of anecdotal reports of improvements, sometimes dramatic, in ASD children who avoid these proteins. For many children, however, removing these peptides will not be enough to fully heal the gut and further modifications in diet are needed.

http://www.livingwithout.com/issues/2_3/Special-Diets-For-Autistic-Children-1236-1.html

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Stay tuned for the exciting Part 2 of 3, coming in a few days! [try not to let your anticipation of it be too distracting . . .]

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Valentine's Day Earthquake Party

Posted by Becca at Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Yes, you read that title correctly. For Valentine's Day we had a Valentine's Earthquake Party. We told Jack that we could do a Valentine's party, and since he is thoroughly obsessed with earthquakes right now, it naturally had to have an earthquake theme. Oh my. So we put our thinking caps on, and together we made decorations that reflected this [absurd] theme! We had hearts with fault lines on them (aka broken hearts), houses that showed earthquake damage, and even signs warning about earthquakes. We had planned the party for the day after Valentine's, and when Jack came home from preschool on Valentine's day, he was obviously coming down with some sort of bug. Sadly, we had to tell his good friend that was supposed to come to the party that he probably ought not come. Instead, we did what every 4 year old in 2013 would do -- we Skyped with Grandma and shared our party with her. It was pretty hilarious. We also took copious amounts of photos, so as to document the earthquakey-valentineness in all of its splendor . . . Oh, and lest I forget Jack's most favorite thing about the party -- we did CAKE MOVEMENTS. What? What's that you say? You don't know what "cake movements" are? Ahh, well, you must not have a four year-old obsessed with earthquakes [and I just might envy you]. Well, for the uninitiated, "cake movements" is a process by which you take a three layer cake (gluten-free, of course) and slice into it and then use two pieces of cake to slide against each other like the tectonic plates do in an earthquake. The idea came from a book he has that's about dinosaurs, earthquakes/volcanoes, and bugs (it's quite the book). Jack saw the little "make your own earthquake at home with cake movements" page inset in the book and has been talking about it wanting to do it for months. He loved it, and he and Eli both loved eating the cake. It was my first attempt at a gluten free cake (and a three-layer one at that!), and they thought it was great, even though I felt like the recipe could use an improvement or two. Good thing kids will eat anything with sugar in it!

Ok, so here are the pictures from our little party. I've also included some shots from January when Mike's sister Melanie and her family came to southern California. We got to spend some very fun time with them at SeaWorld and at a condo that his grandpa and aunt had rented (with the most incredible view of the beach up in San Clemente). Highlights: Jack and his cousin Katie holding hands at SeaWorld and the boys exploring Grandpa's condo and its 25+ dolphin decorations (!) and sun room and deck. We had a grand time! We are always so excited to be with family, and this time around we got to see Mike's mom, aunt, grandpa, and sister and fam. It was FANTASTIC!

Ok, to the pictures, since they are the main event here :).

This is a link to the photo album. If you click on one of the photos, it will bring up a slideshow, and you can see the captions (i.e. me telling you how cute and bizarre our children are):
https://plus.google.com/photos/103879774977912516893/albums/5849401957927583681?authkey=COPbzuyymszuAQ

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Fern

Posted by Becca at Tuesday, November 27, 2012

My last living grandparent is dying. My father's mother, Fern, has been making her way towards death for several years, but it now looks like, as her bodily functions begin to shut down, she is very close to moving on. Here are my thoughts (feel free to skip this post; it's sentimental and not at all witty). Sorry for the past tense; she's still alive, but for some reason it felt right to write about the life she's led in this way.

Fern and I always found something to laugh about. She always made me feel special. She wasn't always the easiest person to get along with, but for some reason I was a favored one, and she doted on me. I don't know what I did to deserve this (probably just dumb luck).

We loved to laugh together. One time we went on a walk in the evening around her neighborhood and found a big bag of booze in between her and her neighbor's house. We thought it was the funniest thing, and our little secret. I remember going clothes shopping with her a few times and just having a ball.

Most of our close relationship has been in the past few years. There was a challenge at a church activity once to write letters to grandparents, and I actually did it. I tried to write her every few weeks and managed to actually do it some of the time. Then she started to call me. At first I was apprehensive because I remembered long, boring conversations with grandparents as a child. But she was a hoot to talk to. She always tried to express to me how much she loved and cared and worried about me. She was constantly concerned with how I was doing with my kids, and was I staying sane. She would frequently talk about her own children in their younger years and how different their personalities were but how she loved each of them.

Lots of our conversations were peppered with confusion and repetition, as dementia slowly took over in her brain, and she had a hard time remembering and focusing on the conversation. But she would often realize that she was not doing so well and just laugh it off, and we would laugh about it together. She lamented growing old and having her body not work so well and her brain work less well. You could tell it was frustrating for her.

I called and spoke to her today, knowing it could be an odd conversation. Here is an email I sent to my dad describing our conversation:

I just talked to Fern on the phone. She started off pretty lucid. There was the usual repetition of questions about my kids and where I live. I could tell that her speech was slightly slurred, but she was still understandable. We talked for about ten minutes, and by the last few minutes she was talking about if the operator had given me the number for the hotel they were staying at. As we said goodbye, she said something to the affect of how they were going to wait for me at the house til I got there. Lots of jumping between decades and locales, every sentence or two. There were only a couple of times when I could tell she was saying the totally wrong word from what she meant to say. Anyway, it's interesting how even through her brain that's shutting down, she was able to say some stuff that showed her true feelings and intentions. Mostly for my record, here are some things that she said:

"We sure had some good times together. We sure had some good giggles. There's nothing that we can't play around with (referring to things we talk about and laugh about). Other people didn't always have the same sense of humor as we did, but we sure had fun together. Maybe on the next move our husbands will get moved to the same place so we can see each other more often."

I think that I will try calling her again in a few days; although it makes for a kind of frustrating conversation, her heart and personality are still there, and I want to soak that up as much as I can.

After talking to her, I got off the phone and went to get my four year old from his bedroom where he was resting. As I looked at him I couldn't help but feel the weight of how time continues and the old die and new life grows. There was such a stark contrast between Fern and little Jack, and yet they are both so full of life. I'm fairly certain that I'll never see Fern again while she's living, but I can feel how her spirit has blessed my life and how it will continue to linger in my heart as I raise my boys. New life comes and old life goes, but the continuity of our eternal lives is ever present. It is a holy thing, and I feel the weight of it.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

How quickly they grow!

Posted by Becca at Wednesday, September 05, 2012

I feel like I need to post about how much the kids are changing.

Eli
He is such a cute, charming little guy. I think we're full on into the "terrible twos" right now, even though he's still a month from being two years-old. He's in a bi-polar stage right now, in which he's sweet and cute half the time and downright angry and demanding the other half. Here are some things he likes to do right now:

Say "Hi" to everyone (pronounced Hah-ayy, with a very cute grin)
Wave bye
Answer every question with either "Nooooooooo" or "Okay"
Play peek a boo with various objects
Hide things under blankets and then pretend to look for them like he doesn't know where they are
Redistribute small food items (fishies, grapes) between small bowls and tupperware
Draw/color (he gets his face really close to the paper and moves his hands really slowly)
Point out letters. Jack has been learning to read, and Eli thinks he's all that by pointing out letters he sees; he calls them all "Aye!"

Words he says:
I wanna . .. . . . [this phrase precludes nearly everything he says]
dwaaa (draw)
peesh (peach)
apbo (apple)
Ohng (orange)
wahuh (water)
duddy/diddy (pacifier)
wah-bah (his lovey/bear)
huuse (shoes)
have (shave)
air (hair)
keen (clean - as in what we do in the shower)
ih-ee (icky)
yuh (yummy)
goo (good)
Myyyyyy (mine)
wahh (walk)
poo (pool)
poos (poop)
mo (more)
ah-gah (all gone)
ah-duh (all done)
car (car)
pay (play; this is used whenever he wants me to stop what I'm doing and come see what he's doing)

Jack
Jack is growing up by leaps and bounds. He's four now (did I post about his birthday last month? Oops.) He's learning how to read and doing a fantastic job. Over the last few weeks he's started wanting to be very helpful, particularly with Eli. He likes to narrate as he does this (of course). "Hey mom, I'm just helping Eli be happy." Or "Hey mom, look, I'm just helping him so you don't have to!". It's very cute. Also, sometimes if Eli's crying in the car, Jack will start talking to him explaining what's going on ("It's ok Eli, Mommy just have to drive home; we'll be there soon. You don't need to cry.").

Anyway, both kids are really developing a lot right now, which is kind of exciting. I would elaborate more, but I think my brain is a little too fried from dealing with their "development" to think of anything else :). All in all, they are doing great and are sweet little boys, for whom we are very, very greatful.

Here are some pictures from my phone from anytime in the last 10 months or so. Yes, that is just how on top of things I am :). I'm glad you all love us anyway and continue to read this blog :). Thank you to all for your continued support and love for us and these rugrats!

[Click on the album to enlarge and see the captions]