I know most of you who read this will know that I'm referring to losing a child. I cannot shake this deep sadness I have for baby Ruby's passing. I just can't stand it. Why didn't she get the perfect liver? Every night for the past 3 months I'd give Dave the latest status updates on her and would plead in my prayers that a perfect liver would come, or that they would be comforted, or whatever Ani put on her Facebook to pray for. I am so grateful that she kept this experience public because my prayers have been more fervent and its made me greatly appreciate the special role I have as a mother. It is so special and sacred. The difficult times I have with Phoebe don't even compare one mite to Ani's. And I'm not trying to compare trials, but just say it because it's helped me appreciate my life more and more. I am find myself living in the present, not caring what happened yesterday, and not worrying about the future, but enjoying every moment as it is. I'm not saying I'm totally 100% patient with Phoebs' tantrums or Philly's (my sister's dog I'm watching) disobedience, or Dave's. . .can't think of anything bad about him at the moment, or any trial, but in the back of my mind I remember Ruby and I am just a little bit calmer about everything. They are such a special family and will continue to touch my life from their experience.