The Kate Box

I want to record that the haze begins to lift in days 10-12. I'll revert back to it I'm sure during the week when I'm alone with the two kids, but I am constantly being shown images of beauty, peace, love, mercy, and the incredible sweetness that is being a mother of two. I get glimpses of what life will be like in the near future when Graham's little body figures out even more how to regulate this new life outside of the womb, and I catch myself staring at him and reveling in how absolutely precious he is. Yes, my two kids are napping at the same time right now. It's a wonderful thing. The house is clean, laundry is not too piled up, and we are getting ready to head to a tailgate once everyone is up from naps. Oh, and I'm showered. Yeah, the haze is lifting, and I told myself to be more real this time around for my own sake. I'm still analyzing sleep habits, pacifiers, etc., but I know I will figure it all out in due time.
Go Hogs.

The past two weeks have been quite eventful around here. I have SO much I want to record before I forget it all in the blur and haziness of this season I've just entered. I'm not sure the documenting will happen though because I really am trying to rest when possible instead of write and blog and catch up on anything going on in the blogosphere, and that's not very often. I'm in SHOCK right now that both kids are asleep, Wes is out on a jog, and I'm on the couch in pajamas with my eyes open. The shocking part comes from the both kids asleep thing though. Whew! So instead of trying to write out a formal run down of the past two weeks, I'm going to bullet point tonight, and then if I have the energy and mental capacity, I'll go into more detail on specific events for myself and for anyone interested later.
*Wednesday, September 5th: Doctor's appointment. I tell Dr. Hargus that I think this baby is big, and she says I may be right. I don't like the idea of inducement, but when she says she's on call Monday the 10th, I say sign me up and get me on the schedule. (She later said she was very glad we had decided to induce. You will see why in a few more bullet points. Basically, my hunch was right.)
*Thursday, September 6th: Ultrasound. Baby is measuring 8 pounds 14 ounces...give or take 21 ounces. Hmmm.
*Sunday, September 9th: Mom and Dad come up, and reality begins to hit. I shower, dry, straighten my hair and finish packing my bags along with Reese's backpack for her first day of school.
*Monday, September 10th: 6am check in at the hospital. IV successful on first try unlike the 8 attempts it took during Reese's labor, Penicillin for GBS begins, and Pitocin begins at a very low dosage. Two rounds of antibiotics in by noon, and I'm feeling good. Still only at a 2. Mopsy and Leah have dropped Reese off at her first day of MDO, and I get a most adorable picture text of my sweet girl. 12:15--Hargus breaks my water. Contractions immediately pick up pace and intensity. I ask for the epidural because I want a different experience than with Reese. Her labor was AWFUL, and I just imagine a happy experience this time. Epidural in, but it only numbed my right leg from thigh to foot (they tried to pull it out some, but my scoliosis is probably what got in the way.) So basically, I am on board for another natural labor. Here we go. I tell myself not to freak out, I remember breathing techniques from two years ago, and Wes' skills come back automatically as well. He breathed aloud right next to me so I could mimic him. I drop my shoulders, moan if necessary, and try to relax as much as possible. I pray and I talk as often as I can. Nurse Gina tells me I'm making progress fairly quickly, and long story short, transition lasts 45 minutes instead of 4 1/2 hours. Or at least it was WAAAY shorter than Reese's. I can't remember if it was 45 minutes, an hour or what. It's all a blur now, but I just remember having my eyes closed for the majority of the second half of labor. At 5:30, I'm told I'm there and am ready to have this baby. I'm exhausted, but we go forward. At 5:59, Graham Cleveland Walker arrives. I get to hold him. He cries. They take him to weigh him, and I hear giggles. I can't see the scale for the nurses in front of it, but I hear someone say, "Who is going to tell her?" GCW weighs in at 9 pounds 8 ounces. I laugh. I'm more relieved that labor is over and Graham is here than anything in my entire life. I'm so glad that the 9 pounds and 8 ounces is in my arms and not in my belly. I nurse him for almost an hour. Family comes in a few at a time. I get moved to a postpartum room. More family. More friends. More sweet time holding my son. This is the picture I had prayed for, and I'm so thankful for a healthy baby. Apgar score 9.9.
*tuesday, September 11th: Mopsy and Popsy bring Reese to meet baby brother. Alison takes pictures and captures all of the sweet moments. Visitors throughout the day and evening. Naps here and there. We decide to stay until Wednesday morning and let the nursery keep Graham in between feedings that night so we can sleep. Super smart decision.
*Wednesday, September 12th: Home by noon. Greeted by Reese and Mopsy at the door. Welcome to our new normal.
*In the following few days, we get out a few times to Chick-fil-a and to Gap. I take Reese on a mommy-daughter date. I figure out how to change a boy diaper--Wes is the go-to diaper changer in the hospital.
*Sunday, September 16th: Church as a family of four. Mopsy leaves. Gran arrives for the week.
*Monday, September 17th: MDO Week 2. Reese is a wreck at drop-off, and let's face it, so is mom. We have to pick her up early. her world has been ROCKED, she's having a tough transition, and school is new. Could use some prayers in this department.
*Tuesday, September 18th: REESE TURNS TWO!!! Cousins and aunts come to celebrate with pizza and cupcakes. We jump, play, and eat outside all while Graham sleeps. Ahhh.
*Thursday, september 20th: Graham forgets how to sleep soundly.
*Friday, September 21st: Graham remembers, or at least God blesses us with a beautiful, glorious morning of naps and happy hearts. I clean, Wes gets off work at noon, I take Graham to the Rogers Homecoming Pep Rally, and we get out as a family to Pottery Barn.
*Here we are. I know I have left out a TON of sweet and hard details I will want to remember, but this will have to do. I'm definitely in the hormonal bubble and haze, and life is hard right now. To me. I question a lot. I overanalyze. I overthink. I get anxious about handling Reese and a newborn on my own. I wonder why Graham has gas issues and why he can't get to sleep easily at times or stay asleep. I wonder how I can help, or if this is all just normal newborn stuff. I remember that God has me here, and this is my role. I breathe, and I sleep when I can. I remember that my two children are the most incredible blessings and gifts. I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry at any worship song because it brings to surface the goodness and mercy of our Father. But again, I breathe and remember to thank God constantly. He really is too good to us.

On to the pictures that don't really even begin to document these past two weeks.