Thursday, March 22, 2012

Reflections - Desert Song



So my friend, Kim, over at Mauneyland has started doing a "reflections" post on Thursdays. This is a joint blog venture with her friend, Brittany, over at Daughter...Wife...Mom...Sis. Basically one of them posts something to reflect on for the upcoming week and then on the following Thursday you blog about what it meant to you throughout your week. I've decided to join in...so here goes :-)

Last week Kim posted the lyrics to Desert Song by Hillsong United. I'll admit I have heard the song many many times but it was one of those songs I would hear and sing along with...but I didn't really ever LISTEN to. Here is the verse that meant the most to me:

And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

We have been in Lexington about one year and one month to the day. A lot has happened in that time...the biggest event being the birth of our son. While I am so blessed to have a beautiful baby boy it hasn't been the easiest transition for me. For me it has been a trial of sorts.

You see...shortly after Asher's birth I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. For some reason, during my pregnancy, I feared that I would have it. I can't explain why but I knew. I didn't share this with anyone...in hopes that I was wrong. So even though I, in some way, knew it was coming...I didn't want to believe it and I definitely was not ready for it when it hit me. And HIT me...it did! I have never experienced such fatigue, helplessness, being completely and utterly overwhelmed. I was so faitgued and overwhelmed that I was experiencing a PHYSICAL pain like I had never had. It was a pain unlike the pain of childbirth. It was a pain that was almost unexplainable.

I thought I would be strong enough to handle anything that was thrown my way. That was my first mistake.

I thought I could handle it on my own...but very quickly God reminded me that I couldn't do it without Him. It's very strange to me to be a Christian and believe in Christ and all the good and glory and love our God has for us and still sit here and admit that I am battling with this. I haven't told many people...although that will quickly change as soon as I hit 'publish' to this blog post...and I am VERY nervous about it! So go easy on me :-)

Right now, I am in the battle but I KNOW there is a victory ahead! I will get through this with God's strength and perserverance. I have learned that God doesn't GIVE us thorns but He does ALLOW us to bear thorns so that His glory shines.

I am confident in the fact that I WILL CONQUER this with God at my side. I will endure my thorn through this battle for as long as God needs me to so that through the victory God's glory will shine and someone, somewhere along my life's path will in turn be comforted with the same knowledge that they WILL get through it. And they are not alone!

2 Corinthians 1:3-7
3. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4. who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5.For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.


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Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Life You Find...


I am a daughter, wife, mother, sister, friend and business owner. I have many projects in the works...and wanted ONE place to come to and share with all of you. As I sit here writing this I am not certain when I will launch this blog but I am excited for the day to come! I have so many things on my plate and I want this to be a place to come and unload. For me and for you.

So what does "The Life You Find" mean to me?


To me, it's had many different meanings along my life journey...and I am sure it will evolve and grow as my journey continues. Today it means that I am striving to live the life my husband, parents, siblings, children, family and friends can be proud of. I am striving to live the life of a woman in love with God. I have found this life through many different circumstances that landed me right where I am today.


I've often wondered 'why'? WHY is this happening, WHY am I going through this, WHY don't I understand, WHY WHY WHY? But I can look back now and see how a lot of my "why's" led me here. To my family, to Steven, to my children, to my friends (old & new), to my business, to Lexington, to this house, to our church. In the past I was often called a "free spirit" and while I have lost a little of that "free spirit" attitude since becoming a mother...I hope that I can atleast hold onto the piece of it that allows me to be completely open to what God has in store for me. So to me "The Life you Find" is about being open to your expereinces, no matter how tough or trying they are and believing and trusting in God that he has a reason for the thorns He allows in your path.

I am a mother of 5 children...yes, you read correctly...FIVE! I always said I wanted a lot of kids and I guess God felt I was up for the challenge. And challenge it is! I am not one of those women that will sit here and tell you that I love every minute of it. I'm not...and I don't think they are either. We have our good days and we have our bad days. Most of the time, though, it is moments...and I have to constantly remind myself when we are trudging through the 'bad' moments...there are good ones just ahead. That is what keeps me going. I AM one of those women that will tell you I LOVE and live for the good moments. I am learning a little more each day to laugh off the bad or tough ones and totally embrace and 'freeze time' with the good ones! I hope you will enjoy some of the stories I will post about the kids...because all the kids are quite entertaining!! Just wait and see!


I am a business owner. I am so blessed to be able to do something I love for a living. Granted 'for a living' usually means making a profit and this past year hasn't seen that happen. With our move to Lexington and finding out we were pregnant...then the pregnancy and now a newborn in the mix...there hasn't been much time for my business. It's had to take a back seat to family right now. And I am OK with that. God has laid some pretty amazing visions out for us. And while Wilkes Photography will have to take a back seat for a while longer...I will be doing limited sessions and special projects that I will post on here. I hope you enjoy them when I do and I love feedback...so comment away!

I hope you have enjoyed getting to know a little about me and my reasoning for the blog. I'm sure as the days, weeks, and months go on...you'll learn a whole lot more! And I hope you share your story with me!


Have a Blessed Day!!

Cory
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