emerson has been talking about her birthday for months already. months. she is constantly making decisions on what type of party it will be, who will attend, where it will be held, the list goes on. these things are ever evolving and changing as well. i'm afraid to start planning for anything in fear that her mind will change between now and then. we would have one very upset little lady if i were to dare throw her a hello kitty party when she changed her mind to a reading one. the nerve of me. i have simply learned to let her make her requests and plan away and when we get close to the end i can work my persuasive mother magic into something we can both agree on. fingers crossed right?

i made the mistake of telling her that her birthday was actually going to fall on the last day of school this year. she is ecstatic. "does that mean i get to have two parties mom?" i have seriously created a monster. one that is about to turn 4, and i am dying over it. how on earth can she be 4 already? ugh.

so today when she asked if she were going to school and i told her no it was wednesday she asked again if she were going tomorrow. i replied "why yes you are sweetie, it's thursday.. we go to school every thursday."

"does that mean it's my birthday?"

with a pair of scissors, stapler, and a few sheets of construction paper we were 15 minutes away from a classic countdown chain. not sure if it was more for me or for her. doubt i could make it another day with her asking if it was her birthday yet, and not sure if she could make it another day without having a "special countdown to emmy's birthday chain to see how long we actually have until my birthday chain runs out will be the day i turn 4 chain". that is really what she calls it.

needless to say she loves it, and she can't wait to tear off the first link tomorrow morning first thing when she wakes up. i absolutely love how passionate this girl is about things. reminds me so much of her dad.

the chain is 36 links long. just over a months worth. we will blink and it will be here. once i realized that, i really started to freak. you see, when all those links are torn off, not only does it mean emerson turns 4, it also means that baby number three is going to be here. what in the what?

36 days is nothing.

how am i even going to do this? three little kids? and by little i mean young, and by young i mean really young. i am going to be ridiculously out numbered and i'm afraid i may never leave my house again. really though.. i may not. no really.

there are two things that i really don't want to happen. a. i don't want emerson to share a birthday with her sister. i hope she stays all nice and warm and cozy in there if only for one extra day. having had the same due date as i did with emmy has been tricky. and b. i don't want her to come before em's birthday. the thought of having three kids three and younger even if only for a day makes me sound weird. and almost creepy. even though it's not. self perception seems to be over taking me a lot in this last trimester.

regardless, i have got two big events to start planning over here. two big birthday bashes. one for my big girl 4 year old, and one for my sweet little nugget who i have been dying to meet. couldn't love the two of them any more then i do now, and amongst all the chaos that is about to ensue, i am extremely grateful that heavenly father has entrusted me to mother and nurture and teach these precious kids. i am truly truly blessed in more ways then i could ever express.

and can you please take a look at sissy's camera face right now? who does she think she is? and why does she look 12 already? i roll every time she poses for me. love her.