The Neal Family

First off--I need to know. Did any of you moms to more than one handle things with regards to sleep differently for your second child than your first? Was it different if it was a boy or a girl? Was it different depending on that child's personality? Was it different because you had learned things from the first child that you used on the second child? Was it different when you had a second child in the house that needed you, or needed to share a room? Inquiring minds want to know!

That said, you should all know that the adorable little girl pictured below is currently in her crib, laying on her tummy, twirling her hair, and complaining loudly. She's not crying (anymore) but she's also not asleep yet. I don't know why I decided to start my new and improved sleep training program today, when I feel like crap and have no emotional energy. I don't think she's sick, though, so hopefully that's not a factor here. Anyway, I think I'm just so darn tired, I couldn't deal for even one more day. So, while I wait for the timer to tell me it's time to go check her again, I'm distracting myself with blogging.

Here's the history on this. When Patrick was a newborn, lots of people recommended Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to us. I read it, loved it, and planned to use it. And I did, kind of. The thing is, Patrick never really slept in our room, or our bed. He was a noisy sleeper, and seemed to prefer his own room, and crib. And then, when I had to wean him early on, he kind of gave up the night feedings gradually and of his own accord. I started putting him is bed drowsy-but-awake and there was never really any substiantial crying. The only time he was horrible about sleeping was when we traveled. And occasionally with the teething. He was definately an early riser, and still is up quite early, but also went to bed quite early and got teh right amount of sleep. Anyway, we both spent waayyy too much energy patting ourselves on the back, since we had done such a great job teaching him how to sleep. Little did I know, that he was a pretty good sleeper on his own, apparently.

With Kennedy, it's always been a little bit different. She's always been a little snuggler, and starting in the hospital slept best curled up in my arms. That and breastfeeding led to quite a lot of co-sleeping. I kind of ride the middle on co-sleeping. I think it's as safe as any other type of sleeping when it's done correctly, and in those first few months, it got everyone the most sleep possible. We were all enjoying it and things were going well. She napped well, and was very portable, napping in the carseat, arms, the sling, or her bassinett without any real problems. At night, she would often go to sleep before us in the bassinett and when she woke to eat, I'd be ready to go to bed myself and would take her to bed and feed her. Throughout the night, she eats whenever she wakes enough to wake me. Sometimes it's been several times, sometimes only once.

So, as you all know, about a month ago, things stopped going well. All of the sudden, naps and nighttime sleep have become no more than 45 minutes long. I know this to be about the length of a sleep cycle--it makes sense. She's waking and needing my rocking and bouncing and pacifier holding in order to get back to sleep. However, the occasions where I had tried to let her cry seemed to backfire horribly, and I'm not totally convinced that tonight's method is going to go any better. And, I'll admit it--I'm kind of loathe to give up her babyhood in some wierd way. There's also some strange concept in my head that she's very fragile compared to Patrick--maybe because she's a girl, maybe because of her little health weirdnesses, I don't really know. However, I'm also totally exhausted, since the naps are no longer long enough, the evenings are one long spell of trying to get her back to sleep every 20-35 minutes, and the nights are kind of a twilight sleep of co-sleeping.

I kind of don't know what my deal is. I'm not totally opposed to gentle cry-it-out methods, especially after the baby reaches 4 months and 14 lbs. I definately hate listening to baby crying--who doesn't--since it totally breaks my heart. But, I know that most learning involves some amount of frustration and that usually takes the form of crying for a baby. What I settled on is a fairly specific method called the Sleepeasy Solution. My brother Chad discovered the book when Emily was a baby and he thought it followed the Weissbluth principles with a more step by step approach. I bought the book this afternoon, read the essential sections before bedtime, and that's what we're up to tonight. It's basically just a graduated extinction plan, but it's sitting better with me to check and console as she works on this.

So, we did the bedtime routine, she nursed well and I put her to bed awake but sleepy. She had her binky at the time, but this book says not to replace it for them, and I think I agree. It might be nice if she gave it up anyway. And then you do the 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc check ins. With this method, they advocate speaking to the baby to let them know you're there but not touching them if at all possible. So far so good. She's done some intense crying, but mostly a lot of complaining. She seems to get quietest just before each check in, so I wait a bit longer but then she starts up again, so I go ahead with the check in. We're going on an hour though...clearly, she's used to Mommy being her ticket to Dreamland. Oh, it does break my heart, but I do think it's time. Right? Right?

She may not be a great sleeper (yet), but check out this girl's hair! How cute is she?

One side ponytail, with a cute bow. This fell out this minute I put her in the carseat and looked really silly afterwards. Oh, well. I've since removed her infant headrest thingy and it should work better in the future.



Two small pigtails, up on top. I love the curlies--just a little gel and they do it by themselves. Someone asked me the other day if I use a curling iron on her hair. As if. She barely holds still enough to make the ponytails!

• I'm sick. Hacky, saran wrap head, crappy feeling sick. So are both of my kids. There's a trail of kleenex all over the place. It is not a great day to be at our house.
• This whole economy mess has me freaked out. I'm actually laying awake at night worrying about how bad things really are and beating myself up over not finding some miraculous way to store a year's worth of food in our postage stamp apartment.
• Sean is way stressed about work. The next six months or so will have major impact on our long term career possibilities so he's having to work a lot and therefore, so am I.
• My baby is still having sleep issues. I don't know why but I just can't feel good about letting her CIO, per se. She's just different than Patrick was about this. We're still searching for a solution.
• I'm just kind of discouraged in general about how my "career" as mommy is going lately. I feel like I never get anything done, and I'm not really doing a great job at any of it right now.

Yep, it's one of those ray-of-sunshine posts around here. In reality, it's all fine. I know things always work themselves out and by next week I'll feel totally differently about most of these things. I think I'm mostly just sick, run-down, and sleep deprived. Yeah, that'll mess with your life outlook.

My cousin Sara has a little girl named Hallie who is just a few months older than Patrick. Over the years, they have proven themselves to be quite similar in temperment--cute, precocious, and NAUGHTY! In a cute way. Most of the time. The other day, both my Grandma (Mimi) and my mom were passing along Hallie's latest tidbit of funny. Apparently she was in the car and acting up leading to Sara telling her off a bit. And then she started to cry, and declared "I will NEVER bring my family honor!" It's from Mulan for those of you who are still allowed to watch non-Disney shows. Patrick has a deep rooted love for Mulan as well, and during these conversations with family, I kept trying to remember the quote he had just used. It finally came to me last night as I was trying to fall asleep. He was mad because I told him to give Kennedy back her toy that he had just snatched. He got all up in her face and said (in his mean voice, as he told me later) "I know my place, Baby! Now it's time that you learn yours!" I was irritated enough that I didn't even start laughing until he was on his bed for time out. Usually I break when it's that kind of funny. Oh, these kids. If we survive each day/week/month we consider ourselves lucky!

Dear Kennedy,

It's that time again--the date when the calendar reminds me that you're 1st year is just speeding by and you're growing up way too fast. In the last week or so, we started experimenting with some rice cereal. You weren't too thrilled the first few times, although you found the box to be quite interesting and you were beyond excited when I gave you your own sippy cup. I didn't think you'd be able to use it but you caught on quick! Too bad you're not really supposed to have much water just yet! This photo is so YOU. You are so physical lately, grabbing and wrestling everything in sight. You regard every toy as a physical challenge, attacking it as soon as you can wriggle your way into reach. You are far more mobile than I remember your brother being at this age.
This one also says a lot about you. Something about those huge, open, blue eyes always looks a little shocked. I'm sure those eyes will get us in a lot of trouble in your teen years, but right now they usually make you look a little deer-in-the-headlights, especially when you're tired and working hard to keep them open so you don't miss anything. You watch everything so intently, especially big brother!
You're getting more into it in this photo--this is kind of how you warm to most things and people. A little cool for a few minutes and then once you decide it's OK, you are INTO it. Everyone we know loves you and your funny little personality and easy laugh. Yep, still a doll baby!
We love you, little one! Keep on growing and delighting us every day. This year is going way too fast.

Love, Mommy

From left to right, in birth order:
Kennedy (April 22), Jayden (May 1), Gabe (May 22), Cooper (June 5), and Ethan (June 24).

It has been a great, productive, stay at home, get some work done kind of day. What a difference a napping baby makes! Kennedy has been doing MUCH better with her naps this week. I think wearing her out with our trip may have flipped the switch but whatever. She's going down easily and napping for much longer stretches. This morning she napped for 1 and 1/2 hours, and this afternoon she's already been asleep for 2 hours and 15 minutes. SO nice to have chunks of time to actually get the work done. I've finished and put away all the laundry, run the dishwasher twice, cleaned the bathroom (no idea how long it's been...), and mopped the floors. I'm even ready to vaccuum everything once she wakes up. Patrick has been in charge of his own pottying today and has done SOOO well (we were having some major setbacks last week) and has been entertaining himself quite nicely, either helping me, or playing quietly. He did watch a Little Einstiens DVD, but only one. Not bad. Anyway, I know it's not earth shattering news (Hooray! Amy finally cleaned her bathroom!), but I feel much better about life.

Kennedy and Tanner
Patrick needed a flower to wear when everyone else got one!
Kearis "walking" cute Ella! She's ready to get up and go!
Miss Emily sorta posing for the camera.
Patrick totally posing for the camera. Nothing like a little competition!
Kennedy and her Kearis.
Great-grandpa Jensen with Miss Kennedy.
THE photo. This was right before she SPIT her gum into the bushes. Oh, yes, she did. :)
Trying to take a group picture with Mimi. I said trying.

Nana with a wide awake Ella and a hammered Kennedy.

Jessica helping Ella open her birthday doll. She turns one next week.

Ella checking out her new baby.

Playing "how many people can fit in the hot tub before it overflows." The answer is 9.

Ella being the life of the party into the late night hours.

Emily being the life of the party in the early morning hours. I'm sure you see the scheduling problem. :)

Kennedy and Kearis being cute some more.

Ella and Kearis. Also cute.

Kennedy playing outside after it finally warmed up.

The Scarecrow family.

My brother Chad pushing the rugrats.

All the girl cousins; Ella, almost 1, Emily almost 2, and Kennedy, almost 5 months.

Patrick giving Ella a smooch. He loves his little cousins dearly.

Checking out the cow. I didn't get many photos of the actual animals.