March 24th would have been my sister's 34th birthday. And I realized that I've never blogged about her. After all this time, it's still so hard to even speak about her, but I would like to try.
She was
amazing. Funny, adorable, brilliant, passionate, athletic, dramatically gifted, sensitive, stubborn, and above all
generous. She saw people in need, and instantly made arrangements to help in some way or another. She and her friends sang at a nursing home while she was in school at SFA. She loved children, and was studying to receive her teaching degree, but she was a "teacher" through and through even without that. It was just a joy to be around her. Her friends were numerous, but those who were influenced by her example were infinitely more.
We lost her in a single car accident on July 14, 2000. And I absolutely cannot believe the last birthday I spent with my big sister was 11 years ago. My life is so very different now, that it makes her feel even further away. It seems as though those landmarks of that particular time in my life made it easier to stay connected, and now almost everything is so unrecognizable. We have a home, a dog, and 2 children that she has not been here to see.
Yet, I am so thankful that she was able to know Joey so well, they were great friends even before I met him. She was the Maid of Honor at my wedding, to the man of my dreams... how many times had she and I talked about that?? Hundreds??? Thousands??? And I lost her 1 month later.
It's so heartbreaking that my children don't have the privilege of knowing her, and that I can't share this incredible experience of Motherhood with her. It's something we both always dreamed of. We shared everything for all of my 21 years. We shared a room for my entire life, and were even roommates in college. She was my very best friend in the world. She was a part of every memory I ever had, and always helped me recall ones that I would never have remembered on my own. I miss that now more than ever.
It's also strange that a heart can feel so heavy with loss, and yet hopeful all at the same time. I know that I'll see her again, yet nothing can ever take her place or lessen the loss. Nothing can ever fill that void. A relationship so singular, that nothing else even comes close to a sister's bond.
My dearest Melissa, I think of you every day and miss you more than words can express. Rest in peace and know you are not forgotten.
They're ready to go!! 
Our blue-eyed girl. She's really excited... she just doesn't know it yet. 
Pajamas? Check. 
Chick-n-Minis? Absolutely! 
And who wouldn't ??? 
They were going to have a drawing for some cute little prizes... 
So silly ! 
