Rocking the suburbs

As Thanksgiving approaches I am reminded of everything I have to be thankful for. Everyone has been posting thankful things every day on Facebook and honestly it kind of gets a bit much, however I do love reading how much people realize they have. Now to get into what I am thankful for this year.


    My aunts and cousins always provide a welcoming place.
                 
    My dear sweet grandpa. I honestly cannot imagine my life without him. He is truly an amazing man. I am one of fifteen grandchild but I can't remember one event in my life he wasn't there for. He has this amazing way of making you feel like you are the only one in the room. He always goes out of his way for his children and grandchildren.

    My parents. The amount they have taught me is unbelievable. I am still learning from them. I have never seen two people go through so much and still remain so strong. I know there a lot of things they wish my sister and I hadn't seen, but I think that just makes us a stronger family.

    My sister. I prayed for a little sister and god gave me her. She was my first best friend. She knows me better than anyone else, its kind of creepy but in a good way. She has shown me a lot about who I am and motivated me to be a good role model for her. I know I wasn't always the best big sister in the world but I wouldn't have wanted anyone else besides her. She makes me keep wanting to be a better person and have her be proud to call me her sister.

My Friends- They friends are the family that you get to chose. that is so true about my closest and best friends. they have shown me true friendship and love. I think of them as my soul mates. there are many things i would have not have gotten through without them. Unfortunately i do not live near a good group of them, but whenever i spend anytime with my close friends its like I live down the street. I love them to death and would do anything for them.

My Fiance- There are not a enough worlds to say how thankful I am to have found my better half. So many people grow through their lives not knowing how to love someone completely and fully. i full so fortunate to have found that. we have been through a lot in our time together and still have continued to grow together. he loves me completely for who i am and doesn't try to make me into something i am not. he makes me want to be the best version of myself. he believes in me in a way no one else has. i can not wait to start the next part of my life with him and to see where our lives take us.

My co workers. they make even the hardest nights enjoyable. I have never worked with so many wonderful women who get alone so well. They make going to work more fun.

My job. i'm thankful that i have a very secure job what i just happen to love. i truly feel like this is what i am supposed to be doing with the rest of my life. some days are harder than other but i feel like i make a difference.

My house, health, and comfortable living. I have seen how luck i am to have the basic needs in life. i try not to take everything for granted.

I know that is a long post but its nice to reflect on the things that are wonderful in our lives. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day drama that is life and think of all the things we want. Lets celebrate Thanksgiving and truly give thanks for the nice things in life, and not the material things.

So my best friend Cara got married in June. I had the honer of being one of her maids of honor. For her bridal shower we decided to have it at winery. The place was converted from an old barn. So sticking cute. I was so lucky to being working with another best friend to pull the whole thing together.

So one of my jobs was making the party favors. I thought...winery...lets make cool wine glasses. I was on pinterest and saw some cool wine glasses dipped in chalk board paint. I looked into and it looked like a craft I could actually do, since I'm not that crafty. I think they turned out great. Here is how I did it ( and I took pictures!)

I haven't wrote in a very long time. Lots of things have been happening... my best friend got married, I turned 28 and....Brian proposed!!! I'll write more later. I have some crafts that I feel proud of and lots of weddings things!!

Warning: I'm in a very pissed off mood and I'm venting on here...sorry!

So Brian and I had a great day yesterday. He actually was able to take a day of PTO ( if you know brian this is a huge thing!) We went o worlds of fun. It was fun just walking around without a care in the world. Riding roller coasters and water rides brought me back to those careless days when I was in high school. While we where eating, his phone rang. It was work. That basically ruined our day. The rest of the day at the park he was somewhere else...wondering about that call. When we got back to the car not only did one person call, but his boss also called. Great! They needed him to go out of town again, to a plant he doesn't know, to clean up some fucking mess. Wonderful!! Thank you so much for fucking ruining our fun care free day. It basically ruined the rest of the night. When he finally got a hold of someone at work they where like, let me see if I can get someone else to go. YES!!!!! Send someone else who never fucking travels so brian might have a whole week in his own bed? Maybe his dog might be warmer to him. Maybe he will start feeling like his house is his home again.

So...we came home. Cooked dinner. I thought everything was in the clear. He was making plans to have fun with his friend today, and then his phone rang again. He had to go. And he had to leave tomorrow ( today) morning and stay til weds. I'm so angry I'm in fucking tears last night. They couldn't send this other guy b/c he has never done a start up at plant ( what the fuck?!?!?! Brian was doing those in the first 6 months and this guy started not that long after Brian). So that meant that Brian had to get ready to leave this morning. I started laundry. I'm going off on his job. I hate them!!! They can't let brian have one fucking day of PTO! Not one fucking day to relax. He is always stressed out, always thinking about work. He is changing and I hate it. I know its the fucking job. I feel like they take advantage of Brian. They also said this other guy couldn't go b/c he just had a kid with his wife. Good, great for him...but why does Brian have to fill in the gaps? Do I have to get knocked up so that he can stay at home for a month? Just b/c he doesn't have "family" doesn't mean that he doesn't have other things he would like to do with his time besides work. I feel like not only Brian but I keep getting the raw end of stick b/c we aren't married with kids. Like oh they just live together, they have all this free time, lets just send Brian b/c it doesn't matter if he is at home.

Some days I wish Brian was horrible at his job. Then maybe he would be able to be home for more than a week at a time. Too bad Brian is a very hard worker and is very good at his job. He actually loves what he does...which is a real blessing..but he also would like to take vacations. Or days off so we can actually spend some alone time together. Women at work ask how I deal with brian traveling so much. I always give the usual response, I knew what I was getting into, we are independent people, it doesn't feel that long, we get to talk every day....blah blah blah. What I actually do is lay in bed at night b/c I can't sleep without him here, try and fill my time so I'm not alone that long, watch other couples have date night and long for that, wish we both had normal jobs, and sometimes cry myself to sleep b/c I hate hate being alone. I know its even worse for him. He doesn't gtt to see me, Yadier, or his family. Our dog is not himself when Brian is gone, and he has a hard time warming up to him with he gets home. He never gets to have a lot of fun anymore. I know he doesn't sleep well either. He also has to see me cry every time he leaves, and I know that kills him.

I don't know why this time flipped me so much. This has happened so many times in the past, and I was able to keep my cool...but yesterday I just flipped. It just I miss him everyday. Maybe one day I'll get my little dream of having a "normal" schedule.  Sorry for the rant but I actually feel better.

Last week was nurse's week. All week my working did a whole "spirit" week thing all week. It was very thoughtful; however I felt like I was back in high school. I did like that they where trying to make us feel special, which is always nice :)

All last week I kept thinking of why I became a nurse. A lot of days...mostly when I can't do things b/c of work. I wonder if this really is the right profession for me. I think about what else I could have done with my life. I can't ever think of anything else. Some things sound like fun, like travel agent, but none ever fit me. For some reason I have always wanted to help people feel better. What better way than be a nurse??

It is defiantly not a glamorous job by any means, nor is it easy.  First school feels like cruel and unusual punishment, but you get through it. I found myself fascinated by the body and all the things is does. After school you think yes! I'm done will all of that nonsense, but then there are boards. I had my first panic attack after taking those. Finally you get that wonderful RN after you name! You finally get to practice what you where taught!!

So after all this stress why did I do it? Because there isn't anything I could even imagine myself doing. To be a nurse you must deal with doctors with attitudes ( not all of them), working long hours, being able to go 12 hours without going to the bathroom or eating, getting pooped/peeded/vomited on, stick people/kids/babies with needles, not always being appreciated, and sometimes putting your family second. You must be strong enough to deal with death. Some days I'm stronger than others. Some days I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open on my drive to and from work. But the joy you see in the patient or family's eyes when they see you makes it all worth it. There is nothing like making a sick patient's day. No matter how tired/ stressed I feel I love seeing that joy. I love knowing that I made an good impact on someone's day.

I guess that is why I'm a nurse. I truly love what I do. Even though I randomly look at other jobs, I can't ever bring myself to leave. I love being a bedside nurse. So thank you to everyone that has been strong enough to become a nurse! You all are very special to be doing this thing we call nursing :)

So I have a huge backyard. Its beautiful and I enjoy sitting outside; however I hate, and I mean HATE weeding the gardens. We have three huge flower beds and two small ones in the backyard alone. My wonderful parents came to help one weekend and we filled 7 yard bags, yes thats right 7...and we only cleaned out one big flower bed.

I'm kind of over cleaning out flower beds. I still have half of one in the back yard and about 7 ish in the front. It just takes so much time, and I just don't have a desire to do anything with them. Is that bad of me? I mean they don't look the greatest but it isn't too terrible just yet. There are just so many other things I would rather do with my time. Like finish projects for my bff's bridal shower, go for a run/ gym, sleeping, watching tv, or anything that doesn't involve cleaning out flower beds.

So on one of my days off instead of cleaning out flower beds I'm doing a craft, watching tv, and maybe have a glass ( or glasses) of wine.

off to attempt crafting :)

So... Ive been trying to get myself back into shape since.....well since the half marathon in October last year. I have yet to be successful. I will be good for a couple of days...then I'm bad for like a month. I finally stopped giving myself reasons why not and get my ass into gear. So I finally took some action and went back to the gym. I signed up with a trainer when I signed up.  Today was my second session with Grant, my trainer. He kicks my ass...and I love it. I'm sore and I'm finally starting to feel better about myself. I've been beating myself up about everything lately and I think working out will help. I need to get back to feeling like myself again.