This past week has been a crushing
whirlwind. Day after day after day waking up to tragedy and heartbreak across
the US and basically in my backyard with the most recent events in Dallas. I
have struggled with my thoughts and emotions being pulled in multiple
directions and its left me in tears several times. America has felt like an
upward slope of grief that keeps building as tensions keep running high and
more innocent lives are taken far too soon. I have mostly kept silent, sharing
things here and there, afraid of rippling the waters. What I am confronted with
is that my silence and avoidance feigns approval and compliance with issues I
am very much against. As a follower of Christ, I believe every single human
being is created in his image. Whether it’s the assault on police officers
protecting people’s right to protest, the unjust killing of black men and
children by law enforcement, or the LGBT community being attacked and killed in
a nightclub by a lone gunmen; all of these lives are precious. Each one should
be mourned equally.
What has been apparent to me over
time is how polarizing these issues are, especially in the body of Christ. We
shouldn’t need all the facts, more footage, or a full investigation by the
justice department to mourn the lives lost. The narrative now and moving
forward should be how we can be unified and seek reconciliation across these
dividing lines. We can stand with the Black Lives Matter movement and
with law enforcement to seek change in our communities. It doesn’t have to be
one or the other.
Something that has been on my
heart for a while now is my need to confess, apologize, and seek forgiveness
for my part in the division. I have felt that confession on my part is needed
to truly move forward and seek change. So below is a list of confessions that
have come to mind. I do want to say that I am not seeking attention or to make
this about myself, and I am slightly terrified to confess these things in a
public way. However, my hope is many who read this are encouraged to dig deep
and confront the darkness that exists preventing us from being a unified body.
I also hope that the people and people groups I have offended and wronged would
take these confessions to heart and accept my apology and offer forgiveness.
- I apologize for seeing and hearing of racial injustices in the past and present, and doing nothing to speak up against it. Please forgive me.
- I apologize for turning a blind eye to racial injustice. Please forgive me.
- I apologize for telling, participating in, and laughing at racial slurs, jokes, and other hateful commentary among my peers. Please forgive me.
- I apologize for seeking the comfort of people like me, instead of pursuing intentional friendships with people of other races, backgrounds, and sexual orientation. Please forgive me.
- I apologize for prejudices and biases I have had towards the black community, the homeless, and the impoverished and disabled communities. Please forgive me.
- I apologize for the prejudices and biases I have had towards the LGBT community. Please forgive me.
- I apologize that it’s taken me so long, and so much pain and suffering to finally begin to open my mind to the systemic racism that exists in America.
- I apologize for not responding with grace, compassion and empathy to the sufferings of minority people groups in this country. Please forgive me.
- I apologize for choosing to embrace my white privilege many, many times instead of having the courage to sacrifice it on behalf of others.
I could go on with details and
specific examples, but I think this list captures the gist of my privilege and
worldview. Part of me is tempted to justify why I have done these things or
felt these things, but that is counter productive and shallow. I hope this is
read and perceived from a place of humility on my part. I would like to think I
am no longer this kind of person, but I still have moments of darkness inside
me that I am working through. The biggest catalyst of change in me has been my
faith and becoming a disciple. I have been a believer since a young age, but
belief and obedience are not always hand in hand. I’m by no means perfect, but
through prayer and studying the word I am striving to become more Christ-like
with my thoughts and actions. If Jesus can set aside his inheritance in heaven
to come to earth to be a servant, I can certainly set aside my rights and
privileges to the betterment and prosperity of others.
Not everyone may feel comfortable
sharing their sin in such an open and public way, but I am for the sake of my
two sons. One who is black and not born in to privilege based on the color of
his son, and the other who is white and therefore is privileged. My heart
breaks over all of this and it is important for me to raise two sons who are
culturally aware and yet courageous enough to go against the culture that seeks
to oppress others. For those of us born in to white privilege, please begin to
educate yourselves and understand how your thoughts and actions play a role in
the narrative that is happening right now. We can longer stand by and do
nothing when confronted with institutional racism and prejudices, and we must
teach our children to do the same. And more importantly, we need to be praying
for healing and reconciliation in our nation.
I honestly encourage you to take the time to confess and
make amends with some one you have judged, neglected or struck down as the
Spirit leads you. I pray that we will be a people of justice and reconciliation
by seeking unity with those around us. It doesn’t mean we agree on everything,
but it means we can grieve and rejoice together in this lifetime and beyond.
Philippians 2:5-9 “ In your relationships with one
another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: who, being in very
nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to
his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very
nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in
appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even
death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave
him the name that is above every name,”
