At Home with The Stephens

So, what do you do in the wintertime when all the world is green (or a certain greenish brown)? This winter has taken me totally by surprise. I've never seen anything like it. I've seen snowless Christmases like the one we just had, but I've never experienced a January so mild where it rains and the snow melts. Even my weeds are starting to grow. The boys had some friends over and I sent them all outside after lunch. They spent a good hour riding bikes and dragging all sorts of 'summer' stuff out of the shed that I had to keep putting away. Roman decided to take on the chore of cutting the bamboo so he could make a tepee. Just being outside gets me anxious for some yard work. Maybe I'll decide to rake the leftover leaves.

My motto this year is- be kind. As simple as those two words are, they are very deep too. So I include to be kind to myself. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself for things I would have previously thought should be done by a certain time or a certain way. It’s my house and my life and I have control. Why can’t I do it my way and feel ok about that? So, I’ve decide I am going to do it my way and I’m going to feel ok about it too. Of course, that is to say, I'm not leaving my Heavenly Father out. I will still need his guidance, inspiration, and comfort. That brings about my next thought.

Lately I’ve been feeling more comfortable with my surroundings. This is to say that for a few years now I have spent my days running around in circles all the while comparing myself to ideals or those who I think have it all together or what I would hope to be. And then feeling hopeless and horrible after all my hard work. Now I find myself quietly enjoying some of the disorder around me. I’m not totally organized and I not totally disorganized. I still have goals to be more orderly in all things, and it does need to happen, but I refuse to let myself into the same trap of feeling like it ALL MUST BE DONE TODAY or I have failed. In fact, I will have failed if it did all get done today. I’m surprised by this feeling of comfort I have discovered in my own home. I’m still trying to be ok with signs of life (messes little people make) around me. It will get cleaned up. Some of this I think is due to a few blogs I follow where creativity is a big focus and sometimes I find it difficult to be creative and have order. Sometimes one just has to follow the art while it’s new and fresh in thought and let the clean up come later.

Sometimes, like today, I just had to watch Bob the Builder ( or ToyStory2) for an hour because Isaac wanted me to sit with him. Then he held my hand and I turned to see him with with a pleasant smile on his face as he enjoyed the show. A few years ago I decided that I would not apologize for my messes and for the most part I try to hold to this motto. Sometimes it is what it is. Only I know what I’ve really been through today. And holding his hand today stands out more than anything else. So sometimes the dishes sit all day. I just don’t care anymore

BTW- I watched Ramona and Beezus with the kids tonight. Super cute. I laughed and cried. Very good. Isaac said, ‘That movie made me ‘buppa tired’. Super tired.

The other day Marina had a new friend Chelsea over. Marina and Chelsea decided to get together and do homework so Chelsea would understand what to do since she just moved here. What's funny is that when Marina was later explaining to Chelsea's mom about how she and Ainslee were glad to have a new friend to add to their group she said, "because we we're running low on friends".

The past few sunsets have been amazing in color.

My motto for this year is to be kind. I also wanted a way for my kids to start recognizing the kind acts that are happing in our home. I guess it's really about focusing on the positive. Every time someone tells me something good they did or someone else in our family did I can put a marble in our vase. I am always on the lookout too and constantly trying to be more aware of the good things they are doing and recognizing them for it. This also means that I want to keep quite (unless necessary at that moment) with regard to the negative things and talk with them rationally at a later time when things have cooled off. So far I think we've all been trying more. We still have a ways to go with the contentious moments and the listening and minding, but hopefully we will catch on. The more good I recognize the more good they do. Our goal when it's filled is an long awaited ice-skating activity.

Recently Isaac and I have enjoyed paying this game with Roman. The other day it was only Isaac and me when all of the sudden I hear him kiss the old maid card and say, "Ewww pink lips, old maid". Then later, after the game is over, out of nowhere he grabs my face and kisses me smack on the lips and exclaims, " Ewww, pink lips, old lady, old maid." First, he never kisses me on the lips and second, I'm lucky to get a kiss on the check with some prodding. I'm still trying to figure out what possessed him to kiss the old maid card to begin with.