The Texas Hills

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Resolution?

I have heard that to ensure that your New Year's resolution is easily kept, don't be too specific. Don't limit yourself to "losing 10 lbs by February" and so on and so forth. These are too easy to break and become another failed plan.

Resolutions are much more easily kept if summed up in a word or concept. This is to help broaden the change you would like to bring to your life in a new year. I like this much better because it's a broad plan, you aren't defeated by the little failures. There may be other areas of your life change that can be viewed as victories. A word resolution can incorporate not only yourself but your family too. I know when the task is for my family, I tend to be more motivated to accomplish it.

So why am I now, after almost 6 months of no posts and about 3 weeks after the New Year holiday deciding to post something? Well for one, my word resolution of the year is not Procrastination :) and two, my life is just busy; I mean CRAZY busy!!!

So my word resolution for the year is "Natural". I want to live a more natural life for me and my family. This is not limited to just how we eat but how we spend, dress, relate and basically exist. I want to be real from how I buy and grow food to how I spend time with my friends to how I interact with strangers.

It took me a long time to settle on this word. It's such a simple word but the implications of choosing it has big changes in my life. I pray that in the end this resolution fundamentally changes how I live my life.

We shall see.......

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Learning How to Die

"She said, 'Friend,

All along I thought I was learning how to take

How to bend not how to break

How to live not how to cry

But really I've been learning how to die

I've been learning how to die' "

This excerpt from one of my favorite song writers has really been on my heart lately. Recently I have learned how very little of life is about me. I know we are born into this life thinking only of ourselves as the center of the universe. Not much else matters to us than our own needs being immediately met. Sadly, very few of us actually outgrow this way of thinking. Just being in the midst of raising 5 children ages 12, 10, 4,3, and 2 has really slammed into reality what servitude is :)

So many years of my life were wasted pursuing my own selfish gain. The years between the ages of about 14- 35 in particular were very self absorbed. It shames me how long that is. Even though I was married at age 19, I thought very little of what the point of the life God has blessed me with was all about. I DID think very much about how I looked, what clothes I wore, what car I drove and how others perceived me. Pleasure was my god. I took and never thought about giving. I immersed myself in what the world was telling me what was important. Although I was a Christian, I thought very little of worship, ministry and even God himself. I am constantly in awe of the teenagers and young adults I know now. How so many of them are mature enough to openly love God, go on mission trips and make responsible and sensible decisions at such a hard age. I don't think I would go back and change any part of my life bc all of my mistakes have shaped who I am. I guess what I wish most it didn't take me so long to find my place in the eternal plan of God. I wish I would have been open to the ministry that God was calling me to sooner.

Why the lyrics to the above song mean so much to me is because of my entitlements and expectations that I had for a life that God did not intend. So much of what we experience is our Western Christianity are not true problems but more of inconveniences. I expected to be bent by God but learning how to break was not in MY plan for sure. Learning to live for God was there but to mourn how I hurt Him was too personal and deep. Only truly tragic people were going to be broken and crying out to God; not me!! And a life lived dying daily for Christ was not even in the back of mind let alone in the forefront.

Taking in all of the these foster children that are broken even before they can talk is almost too overwhelming for me to take in sometimes. It's so easy to be bogged down in the little things in life that upset me; piles of laundry, toys all over the floor, dishes in the sink, all of the fighting that now is so prevalent every day. But in comparison to these babies that have been abused, neglected and damaged beyond belief, my worries pale. But in reality, the only thing that matters is that I take up my cross daily and live a life for Christ. That my focus is on the eternal. And not just my eternal but all of the little souls in my home now. My witness to them is more important than any Sunday school class I could teach, any bible study I can attend or woman's retreat that I could run away to ( and believe me, most days I would love to run away :) Life is not playing religion, it's living the gospel. It's sacrifice, it's James 1:27

"A religion pure and stainless according to God the Father is this: to take care of orphans and widows who suffering and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

That is pretty clear to me.... but so hard to do. And believe me when I say to you that we are no where close to pure religion in our culture. We have no shortage of orphans that need love and homes or widows who need our time and care. My heart breaks.....

I am asked all of the time why we do what we do. That is such a hard question that can only be answered with because we truly want to be obedient to God. We want to live the ministry that we are called to and not one that is necessarily easy for us. I don't believe that all are called to do exactly what we do but Christians are called to do something!! And not just in our church buildings either!!!

When Steve and I took our spiritual gifts "test" at church, combined ours were hospitality and nurturing coupled with spiritual insight and teaching. We searched within our church for our fit but nothing felt like it was enough. We stumbled upon fostering and although while we were going through our classes we kept saying that that we weren't sure that we wanted to give up so much to take on the "system" of fostering, we knew in our hearts that this was it! How we could utilize our gifts to truly serve God.

We are in the thick of our ministry everyday; 24/7 and believe me it's hard! I love these children with all of my heart but some days I think we have been asked to do too much!! But have I really been asked more that I can give? Abraham was asked to kill Isaac on the altar not just hurt him a little; kill the thing he loved the most. This sad, pathetic little deed I do everyday, although consuming, is still so small. We want to live a Romans 12 life and especially verses 1:1-2:

"A therefore I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will."

Saturday, August 4, 2012

iPhone Pics

My friend Stacey does this on her blog and since I am more of idea thief than a creative person, I stole it.... Shhhh. don't tell her.

I have so many pictures on my phone that I am running out of storage. I think I have 1250 right now. So I thought this was a creative way to save these memories without having to do a post for each one :)