Justin has fought depression for years and at times the fight has been very tough. Looking back, I didn't even realize at the time what it was because he hid it, or himself, from me. Denying anything was wrong. The silent suffering and the denial caused a lot of pain, both for him and for me. Thankfully we are at a place in our life together where he is learning to recognize when the dark fogs of an episode threaten to envelope him and will let me know so he doesn't have to silently suffer and I am not shut out, not understanding why.

   Justin is an extremely private person. Most people don't shout from the roof tops that they struggle with a form of mental illness. It's taboo. Frankly though, I am tired of it.

   On Monday, Justin came to me and told me that the actor Robin Williams had committed suicide after struggling with severe depression. He said it scared him to the core. He said that it's terrifying to think that the potential for that kind of sadness and despondency can be creeping around the periphery of one's mind. That it doesn't matter if you are talented, wealthy, well-known or well-loved. Depression takes no prisoners.

   Within minutes of learning the sad news he said he felt the anxiety and weight of being one who lives with depression begin to creep in. He sought solace in a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland entitled "Like a Broken Vessel" that he has referred to again and again in recent months when he has found himself in need of hope, peace and perspective.

   I watched it tonight to try to put myself in his shoes and gain some perspective on these current events. As I did, I felt my love for my husband swell. We all walk around every day with our quiet struggles. I know at the beginning of the year when everything in my life was colliding in one, big heap of crap, I felt it. I got a taste of it. Of the cruel, tight squeeze it puts on your mind and the shadow it casts over your whole view. I came through mine, but some people struggle with those feelings their whole lives. It's a sobering and humbling realization.