This Road Traveled

So this Holiday Season is all about forming new traditions. I started this year with Halloween. I was going to go Trick or Treating with Emily and her daughter Maddie, but ended up going with my parents and my neice and nephew--who were hysterical by the way. I also decided that I will become one of those nice people who gives special treats to important kids. I had a hard time deciding what treat to give. I thought caramel apples would be really cool--and in my search I found something much better. . . . POSION APPLES!!! They're caramel apples with black licorice caramel. How cool is that?!?!! I got one for my neice and nephew and the Dodson kids. The Dodson's seemed to really think they were cool--but I think I thought they were cooler than my neice and nephew. Kind of a cool tradition though---don't you think?

Best costume I heard of though had to be one of my kids who I work with to say his "r's". I asked him what he was going to be and he said: "A Pirrrrate....so I can practice my "ars". I can't think about it without smiling.

The best part of Halloween though had to be the Day of the Dead celebration at Bennion. Some of the mothers were celebrating Day of the Dead to teach the school about it and made a memorial for Heather. I'll have to post pictures. It was incredible. I need to read more about it. So a little jumbled, but I had some time and thought I'd write.

So, I just had the most AMAZING grocery shopping experience of my LIFE!!! I have finally discovered the joy of coupons. I have seen good coupons before, but never on anything I would actually buy, so I figure by not buying it I am saving the money I never would have spent. Well, low and behold, I was glancing through the coupons for Harmons and I saw one for General Mills cereal and granola bars 10 boxes for $15.00. Thinking that there really is no food in my fridge at this time (it all expired since the last time I went shopping before Heather died), I figured I should go to the store and stock up. The coupon was TRUE! I can tell you the joy that filled my heart when they circled the "you saved $20.32" below on my receipt. I felt like such an acomplished shopper. And the best part is I have a whole year before the food expires!! (Except my milk and bananas) Speaking of--by show of hands--how many of you out there would venture to eat eggs that have an expiration date of July 26th? Cooked eggs. REALLY cooked. Like scrambled.


On a more serious note, to everyone out there, I can not thank you all enough for all that you have done for me. . . . cards, flowers, emails, phone calls, cleaning houses, coming to the funeral and viewing. Words truly can not express what this has ment to me. I am working on individual thankyous but they are a work in progress as every time I sit down to write them I start to cry. I have made it through 3 of like a million. Please know how much I have appreciated all of you (if you are reading this, yes, this means you.) It is just taking me some time to get my act together. As for the rest of tonight, I think I'm going to make myself some delicious Nestle Quick choclate milk with a straw, curl up in bed, and dream of........dream of......maybe just get some good sleep :-) Love to all and happy bargain buying. OH!!! And I was serious about the eggs. Yay or Nay?

I can't believe that Monday will mark the one month anniversary of Heather's passing. It is amazing how quickly time moves on. Well, I finally figured out how to post the slide show I made for Heather's funeral. It's posted at the top of my blog for those who would like to see. Heather "picked" the songs herself. Viva la Vida--Heather told my mom that that was her favorite song shortly before she went into the hospital. The last two (Courage Is and First Day of My Life) Heather had pulled me up into her room to play me some of her favorite songs, and she told me that these two were her "theme songs". I hope you enjoy.

So, I have started back to work and getting back into life is more difficult than I would have imagined. I had no idea you could feel fine one second and then like your heart is in a vise the next. My brain hasn't quite returned to fully operational yet. Today I was doing artic therapy with a 3rd grader in the hall. While I was doing therapy, my assistant passed by and I asked her to go get the next group going for me. She reminded me that I didn't see them for another 1/2 hour. Realizing my error, I said "your right. I just....I'm on drugs. My brains not working." I never thought that people would take that comment literally until I turned to see the expression on my little 3rd graders face. Stumbling over my words to explain it's just an expression, I somehow managed to get him focused back as my assistant chuckeled down the hallway back to our room. Did I mention that this week is "red ribbon week" at my school---where you teach the kids to say "no" to drugs??

I can't believe how emotionally painful this process is. It's a good thing it comes and goes...I don't think I could bear it if there was never any relief. I hear that this coming and going doesn't ever go away, but just gets further between. It amazes me how she seems so close, but at the same time how much I long just for one more moment with Heather here. It's like I can't believe she is really truly not in this life anymore. It's like a terrible dream that I just can't wake up from.

So, I have had a couple of good laughs the last month. One day at work in early September we had a fire drill. When I got the speech kids back to work, one of the third graders looked at me and, very seriously, asked "Miss K--do they have a plan for us if aliens attack earth?" I can see it now. Across the nation schools everywhere doing "alien drills."

Something else that I have found very funny is my six-year-old nephew's recent serious interest in my love life.

"Amy--are you trying to get married?"

"I'm workin' on it Josh--why?"

"Well, how many boyfriends do you have?"

"I have quite a few."

"No. Not boy friends. Ones that you love....How many do you have that you love?"

"Well Josh, what kind of guy do you think I should marry?"

"Um. I don't know."

"Should he be fun for you to play with?"

"Yeah. And he has to be older than you. And he has to be taller. His feet have to be bigger too. And he has to have blonde hair like me and blonde skin like me. Short hair like me. NOT bald. And he has to be forty..."

"Josh--I'm only twenty-seven."

"That's old. Okay. How about thirty-two? Is thirty-two okay?"

"What do you think his name should be?"

"Either Ken or Kevin."

A week or so later Josh asked me if I was "married yet." When I told him no, he informed me that I could "just ask someone." So if any of you out there know a 32 year old Ken or Kevin who is an over 5'8" version of my nephew with feet larger than a mens 10 1/2, we are in business. I can't guarantee my parents' $1000.00 reward still stands, but you would have the satisfaction of relieving the weary mind of a sweet and tender 6 year old boy.

Hello my darling friends who actually read my blog. I have returned to the world of blogging following a brief break. I hope you all have heard about the passing of my sweet sister Heather. I've posted her obituary below for those of you who were not able to get a copy. If I were talented enough to know how to add audio files, I would also post the talk I gave at her funeral, but that will have to wait for another day. I have so many wonderful friends who try to keep tabs on me. Sorry I am a little slow at returning phone calls. Just know that I have greatly appreciated all the warm thoughts and notes. As for me, I'm trying to get back to life, but it's a little harder than I thought it would be. Lucky for me I work with awesome people who have been very understanding.

So on a lighter note, I went to traffic school tonight. Can I say that it was sadly one of the most entertaining experiences of my life?? Seriously. The instructor was really funny. Despite the fact I got pulled over for going 37 in an area I genuinely thought was 40 mph. With 4 lanes of traffic, businesses and stop lights, I was suprised to learn it was only 30. Well, hope to not make that mistake again.

Well, it has been awhile since I have written. A lot has happened since then. I came back from my trip to Boston. It was hard to leave it, but I'm so grateful to be home. Not long after I returned we discovered my little sister has cancer--a rare lymphoma. I don't think there has been any other experience that has brought me to my knees more fervently than this. All I can think about is things I can do, but there really doesn't seem to be much other than to wait and be supportive as she goes through the chemo treatments and pray. I know many of you who know and love me and my family feel the same way. THANK YOU soo much for all of your help so far. I have incredible friends who have helped me pack and move my sister home as well as various acts of service. I have learned so much about service the last few weeks.

My testimony of prayer has grown. I know that prayer is a humbling power that allows us to access peace, comfort, and strength from a loving Heavenly Father who knows and loves each of us individually. I know that he uses each of us to answer those prayers by prompting us to serve one another so that we may feel His love, have our burdens lifted, gain strength and feel comfort by serving one another. I have "known" this before, but have gained such a feeling in my soul that I can't quite explain or deny. I just feel I have soo much to learn. The best way I can explain it is by the song I have posted first on my blog. I am still learning so much. I know sometimes with me it can be quite the "emotional" journey :-) Thank you all for being so patient with me as I learn how to bend.

"I’m still learning how to pray.
Trying hard not to stray
Try to see things your way
I’m still learning how to pray."

"I’m still learning how to trust
It’s so hard to open up.......
I’m still learning how to trust
I’m still learning how to bend
How to let You in

I’m just trying to understand
It’s all in someone else’s hands
There’s always been a bigger plan
But I don’t need to understand
I’m still learning how to bend"

I always thought it was ironic that--more often than not--people invited to speak in singles wards found marriage such a novel topic--as if it had never been addressed before. Even more ironic was these people who give advice most readily all got married before they were born and never experienced what it was like to date beyond the age of 20--let alone 25+ within the LDS faith. Marriage talks always had a little routine script to them. First, we must be identified as being single--as if no on in the congregation knew or this was a status easily forgotten. Once status has been established, we discussed how to change our status . . . . by playing the "dating game" and tips on how we can make that final touch down. I have heard just about everything in relation to securing a mate, from "take the initiative" and ask him out to "stop being so picky" and marry the first person who asks . . . . but nothing like this Sunday.

This particular marriage talk started out pretty standard. Reminders of our singleness and calls to turn towards marital bliss. But then, a living example. . . . a testimonial of a woman who took her single life into her own hands. There was a young man in the ward she wanted to marry but she was unsure how to secure his affection. After much study she decided to touch his arm just so. Unsure if this method would really work, she tested her theory on a male subject she was not as interested in who subsequently asked her out. Sure she had found power over the male gender, she politely declined and raced towards the man of her dreams. She reached out her hand, held her breath, and touched his upper arm. They are happily married to this day.

I couldn't believe it. She had done it. Cracked the code. Broken through the male mind and found the "marriage button." I scanned the congregation of fellow professionals. Lawyers, educators, financial analysts, speech pathologists...it was clear none of us, though well educated, had heard of this marriage button before. It was soo simple. Any fool could get married. Why had I not figured this out before? My friends and I had tried everything else. Dating. Building relationships. Flirting. Conversations about common interests. Making out. All this time and all we had to do was touch his upper arm??!??!!?

As soon as sacrament meeting was over, I Oprah-power-walked to the social hall to grab first dibs on one of the males seated in the congregation. I scanned the crowd. With a ratio of 5 women to 1 man, and every girl with this new knowledge, I had to act fast. Finally, I saw someone. Blonde hair, brown eyes--and an inch or two shorter than me. What was his name? What did he do? Did he like children? I stopped. Now was no time for these silly questions. Slowly, I reached out my hand, placed it in between his right shoulder and elbow and squeezed for a count of "one Mississippi". I felt his arm tense as he flexed his muscles to impress me with the results of his avid weightlifting. Yes. I had found it. The marriage button. This would be a good match. We will be married on the 4th on Boston's kissing bridge with fireworks in the background.

If only I had known the simplicity of this secret sooner, I would have saved myself years of heartache--including--my study abroad to London, getting a Masters degree, buying a condo, humanitarian work in Kenya, trips to various places around the world, swimming with wild dolphins..........having to jump out of that blasted plane...*sigh*.

In efforts so that every young woman can get married as soon as possible without having to experience other aspects of life, I have decided to leave my field as a speech pathologist and start a "Marriage Button Training Center." There, my future husband and I will offer courses to help other women secure a mate. We have already looked into getting dummies with sensors on their arms. They will be useful so that women coming to our program can perfect the pressure of the arm touch and length of the squeeze. We will also engage in research activities to perfect finding and pushing the marriage button. For example, length of time to hold the arm and the amount of pressure applied varies from one male to another. There are also issues of eye contact that have been yet to be addressed. Until then, I look forward to seeing you all at my reception.

P.S. Don't think of trying to steal my idea about the sensor dummies. What's his name and I have the copyright in the works.

I have discovered a lot of things about the East Coast.



#1. It rains. A LOT. And not just the little "drip drip drop little April Showers." It is wise to carry an umbrella at all times--or you may end up soaking wet as you try to swim to the nearest T-stop.



#2. Locals think it is really funny if you end up in a rainstorm without an umbrella.



#3. People are really friendly. I find people to talk to wherever I go. And not just little chit chat. I've had someone in Ann Taylor offer to give me their employee discount and a top executive woman invite me to stay at her house if I were ever in Paraguay for helping her translate. (but for no more than five days :-).



#4. Directions aren't any easier on the East Coast. Poor Charlotte has had to come and find me a couple of times as I have taken some wrong turns.

I know....almost more shocking than me jumping out of a plane. Believe it or not I have become quite the chef here in Boston. It's amazing what not having to work during the day and someone to share a meal with will do for your cooking skills :-). This is my very first Spinach Lasagna....the other night I also made stuffed peppers. I even had to "mince garlic" for both of the recipes. My good friends Elisabeth and Daniel in Denmark would be so proud. They cook fabulous food for just about every meal! Even making homemade bread. One day.....

I have finally caved and created a blog with all my spare time here in Boston. I've been in Boston since Wednesday night. D.C. was a great deal of fun. See the previous post for a link to my friends blog and you can see pictures. Well, for being in Boston for only a few days I've already had quite the adventures. Yesterday, I ventured out into the city to find a swimsuit for our upcoming beach party. Charlotte sent me to the closest Target---in Dorchester--the Rose Park x 10 of Boston (dun dun dun). As I walked through the streets of our founding fathers I couldn't help but wonder---Should I be carrying mace??? Needless to say, my trip was quite the adventure...but nothing compared to this morning.

I'm too lazy to repost everything from DC so just click to see Charlotte's or Joy's blogs for pictures. Do not believe any of the rumors that say I have difficulty talking and riding escalators at the same time...however, the one where I missed the train is sadly true..