Surfacing for just a moment to say that all is well, we're just swamped at work and at home and haven't had a moment to update the blog. I need to get back on it, because this is the only record I have of this adventure, and I don't want to forget things!
A couple highlights from the last few weeks:
1) NT scan on September 11 put our risk of Down Syndrome at 1 in 67 (it was 1 in 500 pre-screening, based on my age [32] alone). Apparently it was something in my blood, because the measurements taken at the ultrasound were fine.
2) Follow-up bloodwork, typically done between 15 and 18 weeks (I forget what this one is called), was better: Down Syndrome risk is now 1 in 10,000. The genetic counselor who called with the results says that is "as good as it gets" in terms of being low risk. *insert huge sigh of relief here*
3) Bi-monthly cervix checks have been going well. I tend to measure between 3.7 and 4+ each time, which the MFM is very happy with. Next cervix check is next week, 10/21. I like that they peek in on the babies after checking my cervix. Even though it's brief, it is awesome to get to see them so frequently.
4) First growth scan, done at 15w4d, showed both babies are growing well. They are measuring on-track for their gestational age, and both were a healthy 5 oz as of the scan. Next extended scan is "The BIG Ultrasound," which will be in a few weeks. We're so excited!
Alright, back to work for me. ::pout::
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sharing the News
I did it. At 9w4d (8/26), I told my parents that we are expecting, and that I am pregnant with twins.
It was probably one of the most (if not the most) nerve-wracking conversations of my life. I started by asking my mom to put me on speaker phone so I could talk with her and my dad at the same time. Then I just came out with it: "I wanted to share some news with you... I'm pregnant!" There was silence, then my mom said "oh wow." I plowed right on: "and we are doubly blessed! it's twins!" More silence.
All of a sudden the floodgates opened and my mom started asking questions. The tone of her voice at the beginning was a mix of disgust and accusation. The very first thing she asked about was the donor. I don't remember how she asked, but the implication was that we'd gotten donated sperm from someone we knew nothing about. I calmly explained that actually, yes, we know a lot about the donor. We have personal profiles, medical information for everyone in each generation back to his grandparents, pictures of the donor as a child and as an adult...
Barely acknowledging my response, she went on to another question. Do I get maternity leave from work? (Yes, unpaid but I have saved enough vacation and sick leave time to cover me for the three months of FMLA, and have also saved a substantial amount of money to cover me if I need to be out of work for longer.) Do I plan to be a SAHM? (No, I will take the first three months off, then Sylvia will take the next three months off, and after that we have arranged our schedules so that we will only need a nanny or daycare 2 days a week. There's a great daycare at work, too...) Was I anticipating twins? (No, I had not ovulated on my own regularly for quite some time, so I did need assistance ovulating, and took Clomid. On the day of the IUI we had one mature follicle and one not-quite-mature follicle [okay, so I stretched that part a little bit; I actually don't know how big they were on IUI day, but they were probably both "mature"]...)
I forget how it came up, but at some point I started talking about the bleeding. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed, and I started crying. I told them about the subchorionic hematoma. How awful the bleeding was the night we went into the ER. The risks of these types of bleeds. I just kept talking, information and emotion pouring out of me. My mom's tone changed, then. Just slightly but it was a noticeable shift. Her voice softened and I started to hear bits of compassion in the questions and responses.
I didn't plan to cry-- and honestly once I started to cry I was a little annoyed with myself-- but I do think it humanized me and our situation and our babies to my parents. I was surprised to hear my dad say that I was welcome to call any time of the day or night. My mom echoed the sentiment, and even implied (albeit very indirectly) that she would fly up here to provide "moral support" if I needed her to. I was floored.
She asked again about the donor, and I shared more information about the process-- how we chose him, how long it took to settle on a donor, how careful we were when reviewing people's profiles. I tried to give her a sense of how seriously we took our responsibility to find a good genetic "other half" for our children. I stressed the similarities of our donor to my family, especially the longevity of his grandparent's generation... I did not tell them that our donor is black (I am white).
At one point my mom said "I know you've wanted to have kids for a long time..." It was nice for her to acknowledge that truth, and I am glad she remembered our many conversations about my desire for children. I have wanted children for as long as I can remember. These little babies growing inside me right now represent the fulfillment of a life-long dream. I am glad my mom can see and acknowledge that.
Another thing she said that made me happy was "there is no way that anyone can feel bad about babies." (She was saying this in reference to a comment I made about being initially worried that my brother and sister-in-law would feel that we were "stealing their thunder" [they just recently had twins]-- I wanted to cover all the bases/possible concerns my parents might have.) In any case, I was glad to hear her voice that sentiment. I trust that that will apply to her and my dad, too.
They closed the conversation saying that they would pray for me and the babies, and to please keep them updated. At long last, my dad said "congratulations" and my mom echoed "yes, congratulations."
All in all, I think The Telling of The Parents went well. My biggest concern was that they wouldn't engage me on the topic at all-- that they wouldn't ask questions or say anything other than the socially-expected "congratulations." The conversation was much more than that, and for that I am very grateful. It will be interesting to see where we go from here, but for now, I am feeling hopeful.
It was probably one of the most (if not the most) nerve-wracking conversations of my life. I started by asking my mom to put me on speaker phone so I could talk with her and my dad at the same time. Then I just came out with it: "I wanted to share some news with you... I'm pregnant!" There was silence, then my mom said "oh wow." I plowed right on: "and we are doubly blessed! it's twins!" More silence.
All of a sudden the floodgates opened and my mom started asking questions. The tone of her voice at the beginning was a mix of disgust and accusation. The very first thing she asked about was the donor. I don't remember how she asked, but the implication was that we'd gotten donated sperm from someone we knew nothing about. I calmly explained that actually, yes, we know a lot about the donor. We have personal profiles, medical information for everyone in each generation back to his grandparents, pictures of the donor as a child and as an adult...
Barely acknowledging my response, she went on to another question. Do I get maternity leave from work? (Yes, unpaid but I have saved enough vacation and sick leave time to cover me for the three months of FMLA, and have also saved a substantial amount of money to cover me if I need to be out of work for longer.) Do I plan to be a SAHM? (No, I will take the first three months off, then Sylvia will take the next three months off, and after that we have arranged our schedules so that we will only need a nanny or daycare 2 days a week. There's a great daycare at work, too...) Was I anticipating twins? (No, I had not ovulated on my own regularly for quite some time, so I did need assistance ovulating, and took Clomid. On the day of the IUI we had one mature follicle and one not-quite-mature follicle [okay, so I stretched that part a little bit; I actually don't know how big they were on IUI day, but they were probably both "mature"]...)
I forget how it came up, but at some point I started talking about the bleeding. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed, and I started crying. I told them about the subchorionic hematoma. How awful the bleeding was the night we went into the ER. The risks of these types of bleeds. I just kept talking, information and emotion pouring out of me. My mom's tone changed, then. Just slightly but it was a noticeable shift. Her voice softened and I started to hear bits of compassion in the questions and responses.
I didn't plan to cry-- and honestly once I started to cry I was a little annoyed with myself-- but I do think it humanized me and our situation and our babies to my parents. I was surprised to hear my dad say that I was welcome to call any time of the day or night. My mom echoed the sentiment, and even implied (albeit very indirectly) that she would fly up here to provide "moral support" if I needed her to. I was floored.
She asked again about the donor, and I shared more information about the process-- how we chose him, how long it took to settle on a donor, how careful we were when reviewing people's profiles. I tried to give her a sense of how seriously we took our responsibility to find a good genetic "other half" for our children. I stressed the similarities of our donor to my family, especially the longevity of his grandparent's generation... I did not tell them that our donor is black (I am white).
At one point my mom said "I know you've wanted to have kids for a long time..." It was nice for her to acknowledge that truth, and I am glad she remembered our many conversations about my desire for children. I have wanted children for as long as I can remember. These little babies growing inside me right now represent the fulfillment of a life-long dream. I am glad my mom can see and acknowledge that.
Another thing she said that made me happy was "there is no way that anyone can feel bad about babies." (She was saying this in reference to a comment I made about being initially worried that my brother and sister-in-law would feel that we were "stealing their thunder" [they just recently had twins]-- I wanted to cover all the bases/possible concerns my parents might have.) In any case, I was glad to hear her voice that sentiment. I trust that that will apply to her and my dad, too.
They closed the conversation saying that they would pray for me and the babies, and to please keep them updated. At long last, my dad said "congratulations" and my mom echoed "yes, congratulations."
All in all, I think The Telling of The Parents went well. My biggest concern was that they wouldn't engage me on the topic at all-- that they wouldn't ask questions or say anything other than the socially-expected "congratulations." The conversation was much more than that, and for that I am very grateful. It will be interesting to see where we go from here, but for now, I am feeling hopeful.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Rest of That Week
Sunday morning (8/16, 8w1d) I woke up to another gush of red blood. It was greater in volume than the night before, but I was less scared because we'd gotten confirmation the night before that the babies were okay, and I knew what was causing the bleeding. Still, I called the only person I could think to call, the RE (we had not expected to be released from the RE so early, and didn't have an OB lined up). The on-call nurse called me back and I explained what was going on. She checked with Dr. P at home, and called me back. Bedrest, fluids, and orders to come in first thing Monday to be checked.
Sylvia and I spent the bulk of Sunday googling. Subchorionic hematomas (SCHs) have a range of outcomes, and for every positive story we read we also saw dire warnings. It was a scary day.
By Monday the bleeding had slowed, and the ultrasound at Dr. P's office showed the babies were okay. He put me on pelvic rest and ordered me to do no excercise until the bleeding completely resolved.
As soon as we got home from the RE's office, I started calling around to line up an OB for follow-up care. SCHs usually need to be watched, and at that point we had no information about how large it was (a key component to assessing the level of threat it was to the babies). One office I called, I found that the person who had been recommended to us was not taking new patients, but one of the other OBs in the practice could see me. Our choice was to come in immediately or wait another 8 days. We opted for the earlier appointment, and got right in the car.
The OB did an internal exam and asked the ER to fax over the ultrasound report. When it came in we discovered that it said very little about the SCH. Nothing about the size at all. But there at the bottom of the report was a much more ominous warning: "Probable septate or bicornuate uterus."
The OB explained that a septate or bicornuate uterus, while frequently manageable in a singleton pregnancy, would be essentially an insurmountable challenge for a twin pregnancy (depending on the degree, of course). He wrote orders for me to be evaluated by a Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist (MFM).
After a sleepless night angsting about this new complication, we went in to see the MFMs on Tuesday (8/18, 8w3d). The MFM we saw was wonderful. Compassionate and kind and thorough in his exam. He pointed out to us what the ultrasound tech probably saw that led her to that dire suggestion. He measured the SCH and said it didn't look too bad for now. He let us hear our Little Babies' heartbeats (heaven!). They both measured right on track. We left that appointment greatly reassured that our LBs (pronounced "Elbees," our nickname for our Little Babies) would be okay.
Since that time we have essentially just been waiting for the bleeding to stop. Every trip to the bathroom has Sylvia and I both holding our breath. Every moment I'm not at work, I'm essentially on bedrest. I even ended up taking two days off from work at the end of that first week to try to encourage the bleeding to subside. It has slowly seemed to get better, and the red episodes have gotten less frequent.
Sylvia has been beyond wonderful. She does everything she can to keep me resting in bed, bringing me food and water and taking care of all the household chores. I am certainly blessed to have such a wonderful, wonderful wife.
Sylvia and I spent the bulk of Sunday googling. Subchorionic hematomas (SCHs) have a range of outcomes, and for every positive story we read we also saw dire warnings. It was a scary day.
By Monday the bleeding had slowed, and the ultrasound at Dr. P's office showed the babies were okay. He put me on pelvic rest and ordered me to do no excercise until the bleeding completely resolved.
As soon as we got home from the RE's office, I started calling around to line up an OB for follow-up care. SCHs usually need to be watched, and at that point we had no information about how large it was (a key component to assessing the level of threat it was to the babies). One office I called, I found that the person who had been recommended to us was not taking new patients, but one of the other OBs in the practice could see me. Our choice was to come in immediately or wait another 8 days. We opted for the earlier appointment, and got right in the car.
The OB did an internal exam and asked the ER to fax over the ultrasound report. When it came in we discovered that it said very little about the SCH. Nothing about the size at all. But there at the bottom of the report was a much more ominous warning: "Probable septate or bicornuate uterus."
The OB explained that a septate or bicornuate uterus, while frequently manageable in a singleton pregnancy, would be essentially an insurmountable challenge for a twin pregnancy (depending on the degree, of course). He wrote orders for me to be evaluated by a Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist (MFM).
After a sleepless night angsting about this new complication, we went in to see the MFMs on Tuesday (8/18, 8w3d). The MFM we saw was wonderful. Compassionate and kind and thorough in his exam. He pointed out to us what the ultrasound tech probably saw that led her to that dire suggestion. He measured the SCH and said it didn't look too bad for now. He let us hear our Little Babies' heartbeats (heaven!). They both measured right on track. We left that appointment greatly reassured that our LBs (pronounced "Elbees," our nickname for our Little Babies) would be okay.
Since that time we have essentially just been waiting for the bleeding to stop. Every trip to the bathroom has Sylvia and I both holding our breath. Every moment I'm not at work, I'm essentially on bedrest. I even ended up taking two days off from work at the end of that first week to try to encourage the bleeding to subside. It has slowly seemed to get better, and the red episodes have gotten less frequent.
Sylvia has been beyond wonderful. She does everything she can to keep me resting in bed, bringing me food and water and taking care of all the household chores. I am certainly blessed to have such a wonderful, wonderful wife.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Trip to the ER
So very much has happened since I last posted. It all started with a trip to the ER on 7/15. Even though I am writing this post on 7/30, I'll backdate it so it appears in its proper place.
Saturday, August 15th I finally got the nerve up to buy some maternity clothes. Maternity clothes had been off-limits for me to even think about, but we'd seen our precious babies' heartbeats several times by that point-- had even heard them via the ultrasound at our 7w5d appointment with the RE. We'd been released from the RE at that same appointment, and I felt confident that I had joined the ranks of regular pregnant women (albeit with twins, which are somewhat higher risk than a singleton).
So I was out shopping on Saturday. Found some jeans and a couple of work-worthy tops. Ran a few other errands and arrived home with takeout for dinner at about 9:30 pm. I stopped to go to the restroom and found I had spotted brown while I was out.
As much as I'd heard repeatedly that spotting is normal during early pregnancy, it was a very different thing to see it myself. Worried, I dove into the pregnancy books I have, looking for answers. I called my sister-in-law, herself recently pregnant with twins (my two adorable nephews who I have yet to meet in person), to ask if she'd experienced anything like this. We chatted for a while and I felt much relieved.
When I got up from where I had been laying while talking on the phone, I felt a gush of warmth. I tried to talk myself into the possibility that I had imagined it as I rushed to the bathroom.
And there it was-- bright, bright red blood. A lot of it. I sat on the toilet and sobbed.
Sylvia came around the corner and said "I'm taking you in." I didn't argue.
We got to the ER about half an hour later. We were checked in at the front desk and given a number. We went and sat numbly in the waiting room as I wished they didn't have the TVs tuned to bad news. War news on one and a movie about a woman trying to escape her abusive husband on the other. (Seriously? Is that really what you want to show a room full of anxious people in pain?)
After a few hours (which felt like an eternity), we were called back and given a room. They drew my blood (lots of it) and left us for two hours. The nurse reappeared to set an IV, so S slipped out of the room to go to the restroom. Right then, the ultrasound tech came in. As she was wheeling me out of the room, the nurse told her that my "friend" was with me. The tech barked "I don't allow anyone in the ultrasound room with me." I tried to clarify that it was my partner, not just some random friend, and she said "No one. No husbands, no boyfriends, no one."
As she wheeled me down the hall to the ultrasound room, I was filled with a mix of anger and frusteration at the tech and fear and anxiety for our babies. I kept envisioning S returning to an empty ER room, wondering where I'd been taken.
The tech started the ultrasound trans-abdominally. She didn't say a word as she pushed hard on my stomach. She kept clicking pictures, but said nothing and I couldn't read her face for the life of me. The screen was far out of my view. I finally asked: "Can you see heartbeats?" She gave me a dismissive look and said "I think so, but I don't know yet. Just wait."
After a while, she switched to the trans-vaginal ultrasound wand. Never in all the ultrasounds I'd had had anyone said either of the babies were hard to find, but she kept saying she couldn't find the second one, and she dug hard with the wand trying to get a good picture. It was the most painful ultrasound I've ever had.
Around this time, I heard Sylvia in the hall, calling my name. I called back "I'm in here, but they won't let you come in." She clearly didn't hear me because a minute later she called my name again. This time, the tech answered in a rude tone, indicating that I'd be out when we were done, but she couldn't come in. Not usually one to quiver in the face of medical professionals, I meekly tried to explain that Sylvia must not have heard me the first time. No response.
After another 20 minutes of poking and prodding (and a switch back to the trans-abdominal wand), she handed me some paper towels to clean myself off with. Still not having heard how our babies were doing, and fearing that no news meant bad news, I asked again: "Were you able to find the two heartbeats?" She said yes, and told me Baby A's heartrate (but not Baby B's). At that point I was just so happy to hear that there were two heartbeats and the babies were okay I didn't press her for more information. She wheeled me back to the holding room, barely glancing at S, who had been outside the door the whole time.
Eventually the ER doc came in and said that I had a subchorionic hematoma, and that that was what had caused the bleeding. He said I needed to get in to see my regular doctor on Monday, and in the meantime I should rest and keep my fluid intake up.
A few more tests and half a bag of IV fluids later, we were discharged. We arrived home at 5:30 AM and went straight to bed.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Two Heartbeats
Despite our best attempts to be calm and patient about the two week wait between our first and second ultrasounds, Sylvia and I grew increasingly anxious as the days ticked by.
After some googling and hearing the ultrasound results of a good friend of ours who is just a few days behind us, Sylvia realized that many people see a distinct yolk sac at 5w5d. At our 5w5d ultrasound, Dr. P only mentioned seeing the gestational sacs. Did this mean there was no yolk sac in either? And if so, what did that mean? Fretting ensued.
For me, the question of "one or two?" ate at me constantly. Even in casual conversation between S and I, we were inconsistent about whether we referred to our babies as singular or plural. Sylvia's approach was to consider that there was one until proven otherwise. My approach was to not expect two (because really, the second sac was tiny), but to create a welcoming environment for the second one just in case a second one was in there. There's nothing I dislike more than my wife and I being on different pages.
Adding to both of our concerns was an episode of cramping on Saturday, just a few days after our first ultrasound.
On Wednesday evening (almost one week from our first ultrasound the Thursday before), we had a long talk and decided to call the RE's office to see if we could come in for an ultrasound while Dr. P was still on vacation. We called Thursday morning, and the incredibly kind and compassionate nurse found us an appointment for Friday mid-morning.
At our appointment on Friday (8/7/09, 6w6d), we saw the most miraculous thing. Two tiny babies, in their own sacs, hearts beating away!! Even though I held out the possibility that the second sac might develop, I honestly did not expect for him to find TWO babies! I was completely in shock. I actually asked the Dr if he was joking when he told us there were two babies and two heartbeats. He humored me and went back and forth between the two and pointed out the heartbeats to us. It was awe-inspiring, to say the least.
Before we left, he tried his best to get both of our little babies in view, and printed us a copy of the ultrasound image. Amazing!
After some googling and hearing the ultrasound results of a good friend of ours who is just a few days behind us, Sylvia realized that many people see a distinct yolk sac at 5w5d. At our 5w5d ultrasound, Dr. P only mentioned seeing the gestational sacs. Did this mean there was no yolk sac in either? And if so, what did that mean? Fretting ensued.
For me, the question of "one or two?" ate at me constantly. Even in casual conversation between S and I, we were inconsistent about whether we referred to our babies as singular or plural. Sylvia's approach was to consider that there was one until proven otherwise. My approach was to not expect two (because really, the second sac was tiny), but to create a welcoming environment for the second one just in case a second one was in there. There's nothing I dislike more than my wife and I being on different pages.
Adding to both of our concerns was an episode of cramping on Saturday, just a few days after our first ultrasound.
On Wednesday evening (almost one week from our first ultrasound the Thursday before), we had a long talk and decided to call the RE's office to see if we could come in for an ultrasound while Dr. P was still on vacation. We called Thursday morning, and the incredibly kind and compassionate nurse found us an appointment for Friday mid-morning.
At our appointment on Friday (8/7/09, 6w6d), we saw the most miraculous thing. Two tiny babies, in their own sacs, hearts beating away!! Even though I held out the possibility that the second sac might develop, I honestly did not expect for him to find TWO babies! I was completely in shock. I actually asked the Dr if he was joking when he told us there were two babies and two heartbeats. He humored me and went back and forth between the two and pointed out the heartbeats to us. It was awe-inspiring, to say the least.
Before we left, he tried his best to get both of our little babies in view, and printed us a copy of the ultrasound image. Amazing!
Our two miracles. (6w6d)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Beautiful Bubbles
Today was First Ultrasound day! Sylvia was so nervous all morning, I was afraid we'd have a puke-fest in the car on the way into the RE's office. But luckily for me, we both made it to the office without incident. We met Dr. P in the elevator on the way up to his office, and minutes after walking in the front door I was up on the table waiting for it to begin.
When Dr. P started looking, the nurse motioned to Sylvia for her to come around to my side so she could see, too. We got a great look at the largest gestational sac. He didn't say whether or not he'd seen any other components (e.g. the yolk sac), but he did say that it was in my uterus (yay!) and of an appropriate size for how far along I am (5w5d, based on the IUI date [I'm 6w2d based on LMP, but 5w5d is more technically accurate since our IUI was 3w5d ago]). I was so overwhelmed I completely forgot to ask him any of the many questions I had planned to ask.
He also saw a second sac, much smaller than the first. He said he thinks we have one, maybe two in there. Wow. I am so eager to find out with more certainty, but we have to wait a whole two weeks for our next ultrasound!
Dr. P kindly printed out two copies of the ultrasound image that showed the largest gestational sac. We walked out of the office positively buzzing with happiness!
When Dr. P started looking, the nurse motioned to Sylvia for her to come around to my side so she could see, too. We got a great look at the largest gestational sac. He didn't say whether or not he'd seen any other components (e.g. the yolk sac), but he did say that it was in my uterus (yay!) and of an appropriate size for how far along I am (5w5d, based on the IUI date [I'm 6w2d based on LMP, but 5w5d is more technically accurate since our IUI was 3w5d ago]). I was so overwhelmed I completely forgot to ask him any of the many questions I had planned to ask.
He also saw a second sac, much smaller than the first. He said he thinks we have one, maybe two in there. Wow. I am so eager to find out with more certainty, but we have to wait a whole two weeks for our next ultrasound!
Dr. P kindly printed out two copies of the ultrasound image that showed the largest gestational sac. We walked out of the office positively buzzing with happiness!
See that dark spot at the end of the arrow? That's it! (5w5d)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Finally Updating
You know how you think about a post, and it gets bigger and bigger in your head? To the point where you don't think you could do it justice in a quick minute or two? That was this post to me. But now it's been over a week since we got the results of beta #2, and I'm in "get it done" mode.
So, in an effort to both get this post done and to not lose too much of the emotion of the actual day, I'm going to crib from what I posted on a chat board that day...
So, in an effort to both get this post done and to not lose too much of the emotion of the actual day, I'm going to crib from what I posted on a chat board that day...
They called with my beta! It's 312!!! Up from 31 last Thursday. According to my trusty-dusty beta calculator, that is a doubling time of 28.82 hours!
Sylvia and I both burst into tears (the good kind). We are so happy and grateful for the strong second beta! Also, my progesterone level is 39.8, which the nurse said was "great."
I know we have more hurdles to clear, but for the moment we are basking in the joy of our good second beta.
First ultrasound is scheduled for next Thursday, 7/30 at 7:30 am. YAY!!!
Monday, July 20, 2009
And Now We Wait
Blood has been drawn, small talk made with the ice-cold phlebotomist (I almost got her to crack a smile today!), and progesterone check requested. Nothing left to do but wait for the afternoon phone call. We so desperately want the results of beta #2 to be good! We already love this little baby so much, our tiny spark of possibility.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Joy
The results of our beta for IUI #3 came yesterday at 3:00 pm. I was in a management training class, so I wasn't at my desk to receive the call. I saw the voicemail message show up on my blackberry, and after waiting an agonizing few minutes as we watched the end of a video, I made a beeline for the door.
The results, without further ado: I AM PREGNANT!
I could scarcely believe it when I heard the nurse say that our beta was positive. I played the message over again just to make sure I heard it right. Then I stood in the hall crying happy tears until I could compose myself enough to go back to class.
My hCG level at 12dpo was 31. I was initially quite worried that it wasn't over 50, but when I was able to speak to the nurse she reminded me that while they do like to see first betas over 50, it is still early and (as she put it) "there is a wide range of 'normal.'" I also looked up the singleton pregnancy beta chart over at Betabase, and the median hCG level for successful pregnancies is 36 at 12dpo, which I found quite reassuring.
Our next beta is Monday. The end of the weekend has never felt so far away! Sylvia and I are both awash in love and joy, and praying for great numbers on Monday.
The results, without further ado: I AM PREGNANT!
I could scarcely believe it when I heard the nurse say that our beta was positive. I played the message over again just to make sure I heard it right. Then I stood in the hall crying happy tears until I could compose myself enough to go back to class.
My hCG level at 12dpo was 31. I was initially quite worried that it wasn't over 50, but when I was able to speak to the nurse she reminded me that while they do like to see first betas over 50, it is still early and (as she put it) "there is a wide range of 'normal.'" I also looked up the singleton pregnancy beta chart over at Betabase, and the median hCG level for successful pregnancies is 36 at 12dpo, which I found quite reassuring.
Our next beta is Monday. The end of the weekend has never felt so far away! Sylvia and I are both awash in love and joy, and praying for great numbers on Monday.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
More Good News
We can all use a little more good news in the world, right? Well, our good news of last week was my progesterone check result from Thursday (07/09/09).
Bloodwork
P4: 20.6
Can you believe it? That is my best-ever 7dptrigger progesterone level, and the first time it's been over 15 on my medicated cycles. And I had only been on prometrium for one day at that point. Needless to say, we were thrilled.
We are feeling good and counting down the days until our beta. :)
Bloodwork
P4: 20.6
Can you believe it? That is my best-ever 7dptrigger progesterone level, and the first time it's been over 15 on my medicated cycles. And I had only been on prometrium for one day at that point. Needless to say, we were thrilled.
We are feeling good and counting down the days until our beta. :)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
So Proud
I made crosshairs all by myself!! Atta girl, body!
Dr. P said to not start the prometrium until Tuesday (something about it slowing down the progression-- of what, he didn't say), so the temp shift in my chart below is not med-induced. How cool is that? I was so excited when I saw my chart this morning.
(By the way, the wacky pre-O temps are a testament to the awful hot flashes I endure while on the clomid and for several days afterwards. I promise I really do temp at the same time every day!)
I am very curious about the ordered delay in starting prometrium this cycle. Last cycle I was told to start the day of the IUI, but that was by a nurse who I now suspect did not talk to Dr. P before telling me to start. Has anyone heard of prometrium slowing "progression"? And if so, is it progression of the sperm or progression of the body's natural progesterone production? Things that make you go "hmmm..."
Dr. P said to not start the prometrium until Tuesday (something about it slowing down the progression-- of what, he didn't say), so the temp shift in my chart below is not med-induced. How cool is that? I was so excited when I saw my chart this morning.
(By the way, the wacky pre-O temps are a testament to the awful hot flashes I endure while on the clomid and for several days afterwards. I promise I really do temp at the same time every day!)I am very curious about the ordered delay in starting prometrium this cycle. Last cycle I was told to start the day of the IUI, but that was by a nurse who I now suspect did not talk to Dr. P before telling me to start. Has anyone heard of prometrium slowing "progression"? And if so, is it progression of the sperm or progression of the body's natural progesterone production? Things that make you go "hmmm..."
Monday, July 6, 2009
Independence Day
It was, indeed, a happy Fourth of July. I woke up early to the sight of Sylvia grinning ear to ear, eyes sparkling in the morning light. Like a kid on Christmas morning, she was full of anticipation. Not a morning person myself, it took me a while to warm to her excitement, but of course I eventually caught the bug and we headed off to Dr. P's in high spirits.
We left the house early, thinking we might encounter some Fourth of July traffic as people came into DC to tour museums and stake out spots on the mall, but the roads were clear and we got to the office over half an hour early for our 10 am IUI. At 9:30 they called us back, and by 9:45 Sylvia had pushed the plunger and our two week wait had begun.
The rest of the day was spent lounging around the house. I never did have any ovulation pains, which was very disconcerting. I didn't even have any cramping from the IUI itself. Nothing. I am trying to be relaxed and casual about it all, but truthfully I am feeling a little discouraged. Thank goodness Sylvia feels so good about this try-- she's the one holding us up right now.
We left the house early, thinking we might encounter some Fourth of July traffic as people came into DC to tour museums and stake out spots on the mall, but the roads were clear and we got to the office over half an hour early for our 10 am IUI. At 9:30 they called us back, and by 9:45 Sylvia had pushed the plunger and our two week wait had begun.
The rest of the day was spent lounging around the house. I never did have any ovulation pains, which was very disconcerting. I didn't even have any cramping from the IUI itself. Nothing. I am trying to be relaxed and casual about it all, but truthfully I am feeling a little discouraged. Thank goodness Sylvia feels so good about this try-- she's the one holding us up right now.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Duck... Duck... Goose!
Our life, in appointments and bloodwork results:
CHECK...
June 29, CD14
Ultrasound
Follicles:
L: one 16 mm, three less than 10 mm
R: one 16 mm, two 14 mm, two less than 10 mm
Lining: 9.4 mm
Bloodwork
E2: 323
Progesterone: 0.54
LH: 6.1 (the nurse said LH but usually they check FSH, so this might be FSH)
CHECK...
July 1, CD16
Ultrasound
Follicles:
L: none
R: one 19 mm, one 17 mm
Lining: 14 mm
Bloodwork
E2: 379
Progesterone: 0.3
FSH: 5.4 (same nurse, so LH -> FSH?)
TRIGGER!
Ovidrel trigger at 7:00 pm on July 2, CD17.
IUI scheduled for 10:00 am July 4th!
CHECK...
June 29, CD14
Ultrasound
Follicles:
L: one 16 mm, three less than 10 mm
R: one 16 mm, two 14 mm, two less than 10 mm
Lining: 9.4 mm
Bloodwork
E2: 323
Progesterone: 0.54
LH: 6.1 (the nurse said LH but usually they check FSH, so this might be FSH)
CHECK...
July 1, CD16
Ultrasound
Follicles:
L: none
R: one 19 mm, one 17 mm
Lining: 14 mm
Bloodwork
E2: 379
Progesterone: 0.3
FSH: 5.4 (same nurse, so LH -> FSH?)
TRIGGER!
Ovidrel trigger at 7:00 pm on July 2, CD17.
IUI scheduled for 10:00 am July 4th!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Confession
My apologies, faithful readers, for stepping away from this blog for so long. That last BFN was a doozie, and the sadness conspired with a couple of busy weeks at work to keep me away from here. I'm back now, though... I think... and am looking forward to getting caught up with all the blogs I have neglected to read over the past few weeks.
Perhaps I should say a few words about why that last BFN hit us so hard. After all, it was only our second try and we always knew that with my PCOS it could take a good long while for me to get pregnant. That is, except for this...
My confession is that I always thought I'd get pregnant on the second try. Call it a hunch, I always just had "a feeling" that #2 would be our lucky cycle. Oh, I talked a good game about how I understood it would likely take me a long time to get pregnant, but secretly in the back of my head I always thought "but I know it will be #2." I didn't speak it aloud much; Sylvia was one of 3 people who knew.
She thought it'd be the second try, too. Whether it was faith in my sense of how things would be, or a hunch of her own, I don't know. But we both went into our second cycle with high expectations and even higher hopes.
Unfortunately, as many of us know, the higher you are, the harder you fall.
But we've picked ourselves up off the ground and gotten back up on the horse. IUI #3 is just around the corner, and we're excited to have another chance. Like Sylvia has said, maybe the third time really will be the charm, and she'll have to give up her grudge against the number three permanently. I would love to see that happen!
Perhaps I should say a few words about why that last BFN hit us so hard. After all, it was only our second try and we always knew that with my PCOS it could take a good long while for me to get pregnant. That is, except for this...
My confession is that I always thought I'd get pregnant on the second try. Call it a hunch, I always just had "a feeling" that #2 would be our lucky cycle. Oh, I talked a good game about how I understood it would likely take me a long time to get pregnant, but secretly in the back of my head I always thought "but I know it will be #2." I didn't speak it aloud much; Sylvia was one of 3 people who knew.
She thought it'd be the second try, too. Whether it was faith in my sense of how things would be, or a hunch of her own, I don't know. But we both went into our second cycle with high expectations and even higher hopes.
Unfortunately, as many of us know, the higher you are, the harder you fall.
But we've picked ourselves up off the ground and gotten back up on the horse. IUI #3 is just around the corner, and we're excited to have another chance. Like Sylvia has said, maybe the third time really will be the charm, and she'll have to give up her grudge against the number three permanently. I would love to see that happen!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I Don't Want Coffee
I got the call from the RE's nurse today at a few minutes after 2:00 pm. The verdict is in: IUI #2 was a bust. The beta was negative. My progesterone was only at 14 (even though I've been on prometrium three times a day for the last 12 days).
Bloodwork
12dpiui beta: BFN
P4: 14
In a feeble attempt to make myself feel better, I went down to the cafeteria and bought myself a cup of coffee. Caffeinated. With tons of sugary creamer.
But I don't want coffee, I want a child.
Bloodwork
12dpiui beta: BFN
P4: 14
In a feeble attempt to make myself feel better, I went down to the cafeteria and bought myself a cup of coffee. Caffeinated. With tons of sugary creamer.
But I don't want coffee, I want a child.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
My Wife, The Instigator
So... last night my wife and I were sitting watching the game (well, she was watching the game and I was going back and forth between watching the game and paying bills), when she turns to me and says "let's test!" I laughed because I thought she was joking (she's very anti-testing, always wanting to wait for the beta), but then said "are you serious?" When she showed me the mischievous gleam in her eyes, I knew she was going to say yes before the word even got out of her mouth.
After some discussion of the fact that even if I am pregnant, there's only a 35% chance that a 10dpo test would be positive, we pulled out a Dollar Tree test. Drop, drop, drop, drop in the well and timer set for 8 minutes and my wife went back to the game and I went into the kitchen to cut myself an apple.
When the timer went off, Sylvia came and got me and led me by the hand to the bathroom. Just outside the door she stopped and peeked in as if she were sneaking up on the test (though I know her trepidation was genuine, it was still so cute to see). From the doorway she could see the single line, but we still went in and held the test up to the light, turning it back and forth just in case one of us caught a glimmer of a second line. We didn't.
We both had a good little chuckle and declared our mischief "fun."
Thank goodness we only have one more day to wait until our beta!
After some discussion of the fact that even if I am pregnant, there's only a 35% chance that a 10dpo test would be positive, we pulled out a Dollar Tree test. Drop, drop, drop, drop in the well and timer set for 8 minutes and my wife went back to the game and I went into the kitchen to cut myself an apple.
When the timer went off, Sylvia came and got me and led me by the hand to the bathroom. Just outside the door she stopped and peeked in as if she were sneaking up on the test (though I know her trepidation was genuine, it was still so cute to see). From the doorway she could see the single line, but we still went in and held the test up to the light, turning it back and forth just in case one of us caught a glimmer of a second line. We didn't.
We both had a good little chuckle and declared our mischief "fun."
Thank goodness we only have one more day to wait until our beta!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
10dpiui... And Going Crazy
We are nearing the end of our tww (beta is scheduled for 12dpiui, 6/11) and I am about to lose it! I am so anxious to know how this cycle has gone. I haven't really had any symptoms-- despite being on prometrium, which is famous for causing pregnancy-like symptoms-- but I am trying to not read too much into that.
I want so badly to be pregnant right now. All the patience I started this adventure with has evaporated into thin air, leaving me anxious and (dare I say it?) slightly desperate. Sigh.
I want so badly to be pregnant right now. All the patience I started this adventure with has evaporated into thin air, leaving me anxious and (dare I say it?) slightly desperate. Sigh.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The Official Word
Dr. P decided to bring me in for a progesterone check Monday (6/1) to confirm ovulation. Now-- after playing a rousing game of phone tag with Dr. P's office for the past two days-- I finally have the official word.
P4, 2dpIUI: 7.6
Dr. P's nurse confirmed that a progesterone level of 7.6 does indeed indicate ovulation, so a second IUI is not necessary. This is good news, of course, even if it doesn't definitively tell us that our IUI was well-timed.
I waited until after my blood was drawn for the progesterone check to start the prometrium, so my first full day on the oh-so-lovely pills was yesterday. I get to take them three times a day this cycle because my P4 never got above a 12 on two pills daily (last cycle). Today my chart showed a marked temp increase; even though it was med-induced, it was still nice to see...
Given that all of my communication with the nurse has been via voicemail messages, I don't know if I am still supposed to go in for a progesterone check on 6/7, but I'm assuming I might not need to. If I don't go in for that, my next bloodwork will be a beta on 6/11 (the day after my 32nd birthday).
So we are officially, firmly, in the tww.
P4, 2dpIUI: 7.6
Dr. P's nurse confirmed that a progesterone level of 7.6 does indeed indicate ovulation, so a second IUI is not necessary. This is good news, of course, even if it doesn't definitively tell us that our IUI was well-timed.
I waited until after my blood was drawn for the progesterone check to start the prometrium, so my first full day on the oh-so-lovely pills was yesterday. I get to take them three times a day this cycle because my P4 never got above a 12 on two pills daily (last cycle). Today my chart showed a marked temp increase; even though it was med-induced, it was still nice to see...
Given that all of my communication with the nurse has been via voicemail messages, I don't know if I am still supposed to go in for a progesterone check on 6/7, but I'm assuming I might not need to. If I don't go in for that, my next bloodwork will be a beta on 6/11 (the day after my 32nd birthday).So we are officially, firmly, in the tww.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Agonizing
After our IUI yesterday, I was on high alert for any signs of ovulation. I didn't really feel much, though. I had some generalized cramping but no clear ovulation pains. Usually I can really "feel it" when I ovulate, and I feel it in a very specific location on each side. Oh well, I thought, maybe I just didn't feel it this time.
We decided to not start the prometrium last night, in hopes of seeing a temp shift this morning that a) was not medication-induced and b) would confirm that I ovulated. But this morning, to our dismay, I awoke to a temp that showed no shift at all.
At first we tried to explain it away-- it was, after all, a little chilly in our bedroom-- but as time went on, both Sylvia and I got more and more concerned. By 7:30 we were googling, and by 9:00 we decided to put a call in to Dr. P.
I so don't want to be that patient, the one that annoys the doctor or nurses with silly calls. But if I haven't ovulated yet, we'd probably opt to go in for an additional IUI just to be safe.
We got a call back from Dr. P's nurse around 10:30. I told her our concerns and she said she'd check with Dr. P when she talks to him later today. I asked her if it is possible for a trigger to fail to induce ovulation, and she said she didn't know. I am secretly hoping they decide to bring me in today for an ultrasound to confirm ovulation.
This stuff is so nerve wracking!
We decided to not start the prometrium last night, in hopes of seeing a temp shift this morning that a) was not medication-induced and b) would confirm that I ovulated. But this morning, to our dismay, I awoke to a temp that showed no shift at all.
At first we tried to explain it away-- it was, after all, a little chilly in our bedroom-- but as time went on, both Sylvia and I got more and more concerned. By 7:30 we were googling, and by 9:00 we decided to put a call in to Dr. P.
I so don't want to be that patient, the one that annoys the doctor or nurses with silly calls. But if I haven't ovulated yet, we'd probably opt to go in for an additional IUI just to be safe.
We got a call back from Dr. P's nurse around 10:30. I told her our concerns and she said she'd check with Dr. P when she talks to him later today. I asked her if it is possible for a trigger to fail to induce ovulation, and she said she didn't know. I am secretly hoping they decide to bring me in today for an ultrasound to confirm ovulation.
This stuff is so nerve wracking!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Life
Guest blogger: Sylvia
We're finally here. The second round. I wondered how I would feel-- would this be as exciting as the first? Can you believe it? It was even better. I asked myself, how could it be? But the answer came quickly, as I looked down at Christine. My love for her grows every second of every minute of every hour of every day. The love I had in that room was enormous. As I pushed the plunger I felt a sense of.... well, let's just say my heart was smiling bigger than it has ever smiled before. I was so happy when the doctor and the nurse left the room, for it was then that Christine and I could truly enjoy the moment. The moment that we might be creating life.
Life, what a beautiful word. To be able to share the sunshine, the sound of ocean waves, the smell of rain, and all of God's gifts with a child is a simply amazing thought. If it takes, I do pray that this child will know that every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every year we will love him or her. I know we will respect this child and we will honor this child the way life should be honored, the way God intended.
We're finally here. The second round. I wondered how I would feel-- would this be as exciting as the first? Can you believe it? It was even better. I asked myself, how could it be? But the answer came quickly, as I looked down at Christine. My love for her grows every second of every minute of every hour of every day. The love I had in that room was enormous. As I pushed the plunger I felt a sense of.... well, let's just say my heart was smiling bigger than it has ever smiled before. I was so happy when the doctor and the nurse left the room, for it was then that Christine and I could truly enjoy the moment. The moment that we might be creating life.
Life, what a beautiful word. To be able to share the sunshine, the sound of ocean waves, the smell of rain, and all of God's gifts with a child is a simply amazing thought. If it takes, I do pray that this child will know that every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every year we will love him or her. I know we will respect this child and we will honor this child the way life should be honored, the way God intended.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Full Steam Ahead
HSG on 5/26 was all clear, so we are ON for this cycle!
The stats from yesterday's check...
Ultrasound
Follicles:
L: one 17 mm
R: one 17 mm
Lining: 10 mm
My ovaries looked pretty darn good, if I may say so myself. The large number of cysts I had last cycle seem to have disappeared (I didn't see them and the RE didn't mention seeing any), and I don't feel like my ovaries are the size of grapefruits this cycle, which is great.
Bloodwork
E2: 292
Progesterone: 0.4
FSH: 5 (I think-- I'll have to check that)
I am very happy with that CD13 E2 number. It's not quite the 200-per-mature-follicle they'd like to see, but it is so much better than last time. (Last cycle my E2 was 167 on CD15, the day we triggered.)
We got the call from the RE's office late yesterday afternoon. He wants us to trigger Thursday night (tonight, CD14) and come in for a Saturday morning IUI.
We decided this cycle that we wouldn't mention anything about possible out of town trips to the RE (we both suspect that-- despite our protests-- the RE's office took my work trip into account when scheduling the last IUI, and we maybe triggered a little too early). So on the up-side, we are confident that this is the best timing the RE could possibly suggest. On the down-side, though, we're going to have to back out of attending the wedding of a good friend at the last minute (the wedding is Saturday afternoon, far out of town [we have plane tickets]). I feel so awful about doing that to her (I hated it that a couple of people RSVP'd to our wedding but then didn't come). Even though we weren't planning to tell any of our IRL friends about ttc, we may spill the beans to her so she knows we are only missing her wedding because of something really important. Hopefully she'll forgive us!
The stats from yesterday's check...
Ultrasound
Follicles:
L: one 17 mm
R: one 17 mm
Lining: 10 mm
My ovaries looked pretty darn good, if I may say so myself. The large number of cysts I had last cycle seem to have disappeared (I didn't see them and the RE didn't mention seeing any), and I don't feel like my ovaries are the size of grapefruits this cycle, which is great.
Bloodwork
E2: 292
Progesterone: 0.4
FSH: 5 (I think-- I'll have to check that)
I am very happy with that CD13 E2 number. It's not quite the 200-per-mature-follicle they'd like to see, but it is so much better than last time. (Last cycle my E2 was 167 on CD15, the day we triggered.)
We got the call from the RE's office late yesterday afternoon. He wants us to trigger Thursday night (tonight, CD14) and come in for a Saturday morning IUI.
We decided this cycle that we wouldn't mention anything about possible out of town trips to the RE (we both suspect that-- despite our protests-- the RE's office took my work trip into account when scheduling the last IUI, and we maybe triggered a little too early). So on the up-side, we are confident that this is the best timing the RE could possibly suggest. On the down-side, though, we're going to have to back out of attending the wedding of a good friend at the last minute (the wedding is Saturday afternoon, far out of town [we have plane tickets]). I feel so awful about doing that to her (I hated it that a couple of people RSVP'd to our wedding but then didn't come). Even though we weren't planning to tell any of our IRL friends about ttc, we may spill the beans to her so she knows we are only missing her wedding because of something really important. Hopefully she'll forgive us!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Cycle #2 Update
Let's get caught up, shall we?
The plan for this cycle is: Clomid CD4-8, follie check CD13, trigger, then IUI. Dr. P decided I didn't respond quite as well as he'd hoped to the Clomid at 100 mg, so for this cycle he upped it to 150 mg. Other than a slight increase in the side effects (I soooo woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday!), I haven't felt much of a difference so far.
Our CD4 bloodwork and ultrasound (on 5/18) went well. They said my right ovary was clear of cysts and that things looked "good" on both sides. The nurses both got really quiet when they were looking at my left side, and they snapped a few pics (which they hadn't done on the right), which worried me. For the moment, though, I am taking them at their word and believing the "good" pronouncement.
Bloodwork
E2: 50.8
FSH: 5
The E2 number is great news to me-- last cycle my CD4 E2 was 81, a little too high according to my go-to hormone levels chart. (CD4 FSH last cycle was 4.7.)
Upcoming HSG
In other news, I will be having a HSG Tuesday afternoon. I am not particularly looking forward to it, but I am glad we'll have a little additional information.
The plan for this cycle is: Clomid CD4-8, follie check CD13, trigger, then IUI. Dr. P decided I didn't respond quite as well as he'd hoped to the Clomid at 100 mg, so for this cycle he upped it to 150 mg. Other than a slight increase in the side effects (I soooo woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday!), I haven't felt much of a difference so far.
Our CD4 bloodwork and ultrasound (on 5/18) went well. They said my right ovary was clear of cysts and that things looked "good" on both sides. The nurses both got really quiet when they were looking at my left side, and they snapped a few pics (which they hadn't done on the right), which worried me. For the moment, though, I am taking them at their word and believing the "good" pronouncement.
Bloodwork
E2: 50.8
FSH: 5
The E2 number is great news to me-- last cycle my CD4 E2 was 81, a little too high according to my go-to hormone levels chart. (CD4 FSH last cycle was 4.7.)
Upcoming HSG
In other news, I will be having a HSG Tuesday afternoon. I am not particularly looking forward to it, but I am glad we'll have a little additional information.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Ready for Round Two
I am so ready for this cycle. I've had my fun, eating sweets and chocolate and drinking coffee and soda for the last day or two. I spent today mowing the lawn and perching myself precariously on our old rickety play set to trim a tree. Tomorrow if the rain lets up I'll do my last bit of strenuous yard work before our next IUI.
Sylvia and I have already planned out all the heavy lifting around the house that needs to get done, and we're working our way through the list. Tomorrow we'll be moving furniture between the main level and the finished basement, and maybe even finally disassembling the Christmas tree and putting it up in the attic (have I mentioned it's been a busy year?).
I was so touched when I came in from doing yard work to find that Sylvia had taken the afternoon to start cleaning out our home office (which is the room that will hopefully be a child's room some day).
We're nesting. And it feels good.
Sylvia and I have already planned out all the heavy lifting around the house that needs to get done, and we're working our way through the list. Tomorrow we'll be moving furniture between the main level and the finished basement, and maybe even finally disassembling the Christmas tree and putting it up in the attic (have I mentioned it's been a busy year?).
I was so touched when I came in from doing yard work to find that Sylvia had taken the afternoon to start cleaning out our home office (which is the room that will hopefully be a child's room some day).
We're nesting. And it feels good.
Friday, May 15, 2009
CD35 / CD1
Farewell, April cycle!
CD1: Apr. 10
Clomid, 100 mg/day: CD4-8
Ovidrel trigger: CD15
IUI: CD17
O date, per symptoms & trigger: Apr. 26 (CD17)
Low progesterone found CD26
Prometrium, 400 mg/day: CD26-32
CD35: May 14
Hello, May cycle!
CD1: Apr. 10
Clomid, 100 mg/day: CD4-8
Ovidrel trigger: CD15
IUI: CD17
O date, per symptoms & trigger: Apr. 26 (CD17)
Low progesterone found CD26
Prometrium, 400 mg/day: CD26-32
CD35: May 14
Hello, May cycle!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
BFN Recap Post
As much as I might like to skip right over this post and just talk about where we're going from here, I realize it would be a little strange to skip directly from 12dpo to cycle #2. So, here you go...
IUI #1 was a bust. The BFNs, in order of appearance:
14dpo, Mother's Day: BFN
We thought we'd test on Mother's Day Sunday just because it'd be a neat day to get a BFP (if that was what it was). And, we reasoned, at least we'd be together all day if we were dealing with BFN news. So we tested first thing that morning. We both hunched anxiously over the test, willing that second line to appear. It didn't.
Right after that we went to church. We were both doing okay, having somewhat expected a BFN. That is, until we walked in to church. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed. Everyone all dressed up, wishing each other a happy Mother's Day... It was too much for me and I am ashamed to say I was not able to contain my tears. Luckily I only cried through the first hymn before I was able to pull it together.
At the end of the service, they asked all the mothers to come up to the front of the church. Sylvia went up and stood with all the other mothers and received a flower. When she came back to her seat, she tried to hand the flower to me to hold. I wouldn't take it. All in all, I didn't handle things as well as I'd hoped I would.
After church I took Sylvia out to brunch for Mother's Day, which was fun. The whole day was bittersweet-- trying to celebrate Sylvia as a mother while also trying to absorb that morning's BFN...
15dpo, AM before beta: BFN x 2
Monday morning before my beta we decided to test again. We would be apart when we got the phone call (it was Sylvia's day off and I'd be at work), so we wanted to test together before I went to work. I used a regular hpt first. S thought she saw a faint line, so I tested again with a digital hpt. Turns out S was just having a little double-vision because she didn't have her glasses on. The digital's "NO" was pretty clear.
15dpo, beta: negative (BFN)
Even though we had tested and didn't really expect a different result from the beta, we were both on pins and needles all afternoon. By the time 2:20 rolled around and we hadn't heard from the nurse, we decided to give them a call. I called Sylvia first, then conferenced in the RE's office. After a longer-than-usual wait on hold, the nurse got on the line and told us the beta was negative. She also said that (despite using the progesterone suppositories twice a day) my progesterone was only at a 12.
Once the nurse hung up, Sylvia and I had a mini-cry together before I had to gather myself for my 3:00 meeting. Heart aching, all I wanted was to get home to my wife.
IUI #1 was a bust. The BFNs, in order of appearance:
14dpo, Mother's Day: BFN
We thought we'd test on Mother's Day Sunday just because it'd be a neat day to get a BFP (if that was what it was). And, we reasoned, at least we'd be together all day if we were dealing with BFN news. So we tested first thing that morning. We both hunched anxiously over the test, willing that second line to appear. It didn't.
Right after that we went to church. We were both doing okay, having somewhat expected a BFN. That is, until we walked in to church. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed. Everyone all dressed up, wishing each other a happy Mother's Day... It was too much for me and I am ashamed to say I was not able to contain my tears. Luckily I only cried through the first hymn before I was able to pull it together.
At the end of the service, they asked all the mothers to come up to the front of the church. Sylvia went up and stood with all the other mothers and received a flower. When she came back to her seat, she tried to hand the flower to me to hold. I wouldn't take it. All in all, I didn't handle things as well as I'd hoped I would.
After church I took Sylvia out to brunch for Mother's Day, which was fun. The whole day was bittersweet-- trying to celebrate Sylvia as a mother while also trying to absorb that morning's BFN...
15dpo, AM before beta: BFN x 2
Monday morning before my beta we decided to test again. We would be apart when we got the phone call (it was Sylvia's day off and I'd be at work), so we wanted to test together before I went to work. I used a regular hpt first. S thought she saw a faint line, so I tested again with a digital hpt. Turns out S was just having a little double-vision because she didn't have her glasses on. The digital's "NO" was pretty clear.
15dpo, beta: negative (BFN)
Even though we had tested and didn't really expect a different result from the beta, we were both on pins and needles all afternoon. By the time 2:20 rolled around and we hadn't heard from the nurse, we decided to give them a call. I called Sylvia first, then conferenced in the RE's office. After a longer-than-usual wait on hold, the nurse got on the line and told us the beta was negative. She also said that (despite using the progesterone suppositories twice a day) my progesterone was only at a 12.
Once the nurse hung up, Sylvia and I had a mini-cry together before I had to gather myself for my 3:00 meeting. Heart aching, all I wanted was to get home to my wife.
Friday, May 8, 2009
I Tested
Sylvia called me from work today (I was home on my day off) and told me it was okay with her if I tested... so I did.
12dpo: BFN
I was actually strangely calm about the result. "It's still early," I told myself. Then went to the fridge and got a plate of cookies and a glass of milk and curled up in bed. And started making a mental list of all the heavy things in the house I need to lift before IUI #2 if this cycle doesn't work out. And had pizza for dinner and didn't eat a single vegetable all day long.
In other(?) news, I have been having lots of strange cramps. Some are stabbing pains just barely above my pubic bone, and others are more "cramp-like" (if that makes any sense at all-- of course I am over-analyzing everything!). I don't usually cramp until day two of a period, but I know the progesterone supplements could be throwing me off my "usual".
Apparently I am not the only one who tests early then wonders if it means they are out of the game: when I started typing my search into Google, it came up with the search phrase "12 dpo bfn then bfp" with 29,700 results. Search results, that is; not 29,700 people who said they got a bfp after a 12 dpo bfn, unfortunately.
Despite my better judgement, I am still clinging to hope.
12dpo: BFN
I was actually strangely calm about the result. "It's still early," I told myself. Then went to the fridge and got a plate of cookies and a glass of milk and curled up in bed. And started making a mental list of all the heavy things in the house I need to lift before IUI #2 if this cycle doesn't work out. And had pizza for dinner and didn't eat a single vegetable all day long.
In other(?) news, I have been having lots of strange cramps. Some are stabbing pains just barely above my pubic bone, and others are more "cramp-like" (if that makes any sense at all-- of course I am over-analyzing everything!). I don't usually cramp until day two of a period, but I know the progesterone supplements could be throwing me off my "usual".
Apparently I am not the only one who tests early then wonders if it means they are out of the game: when I started typing my search into Google, it came up with the search phrase "12 dpo bfn then bfp" with 29,700 results. Search results, that is; not 29,700 people who said they got a bfp after a 12 dpo bfn, unfortunately.
Despite my better judgement, I am still clinging to hope.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Feeling Blue-ish
The twinges and beginning symptoms of last week seem to have more-or-less faded. (Sure, I'm a little nauseous every now and then, but then again Metformin will do that to you. And yes, there's a little cramping, but it's intermittent and, anyway, who knows what that is.) I am feeling a little discouraged at the moment. Blue-ish, if you will.
I wish I could test before Sunday, but Sylvia and I agreed on Sunday and she said she'd be upset if I tested without telling her (yes, I asked). I don't want to put her through any unnecessary stress, but testing on Saturday (13dpo/IUI) would relieve some of my anxiety-- if it were negative, I could start preparing myself for our official tests on Sunday (hpt) and Monday (beta), and if it were positive (even faintly so), I could start relaxing into the possibility of Yes.
I know I wasn't supposed to get my hopes up this first cycle, but that ship sailed a loooong time ago.
I wish I could test before Sunday, but Sylvia and I agreed on Sunday and she said she'd be upset if I tested without telling her (yes, I asked). I don't want to put her through any unnecessary stress, but testing on Saturday (13dpo/IUI) would relieve some of my anxiety-- if it were negative, I could start preparing myself for our official tests on Sunday (hpt) and Monday (beta), and if it were positive (even faintly so), I could start relaxing into the possibility of Yes.
I know I wasn't supposed to get my hopes up this first cycle, but that ship sailed a loooong time ago.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Progesterone Check Results
Got the call from the nurse this afternoon with results from this morning's bloodwork (8dpIUI). My progesterone is low, so they are starting me on supplements tonight.
Progesterone: 9.08
My particular RE's office wants to see it above 10. I am not missing their target too dramatically, but many online sources suggest it should be above 15 on a medicated cycle.
This is me, trying to not worry.
Progesterone: 9.08
My particular RE's office wants to see it above 10. I am not missing their target too dramatically, but many online sources suggest it should be above 15 on a medicated cycle.
This is me, trying to not worry.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Waking Up Hopeful
I had the most wonderful feeling when I woke up this morning. As I went about my usual routine of getting ready for the day, I was filled to overflowing with the realization that I had everything I needed to create a baby right there *inside my body*. Wow. All statistics aside, it is AWEsome to feel full with the possibility of life.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
A Note About Timing
I was a little worried about the timing of the trigger-- the interval between the shot and the scheduled IUI seemed too long. But I have to say that now, post-IUI, most of those worries have melted away.
I had serious ovulation pains today that began an hour or two after the IUI and lasted almost all day. That means our timing was good, right? Oh how I wish I had Google at my disposal right now!
I had serious ovulation pains today that began an hour or two after the IUI and lasted almost all day. That means our timing was good, right? Oh how I wish I had Google at my disposal right now!
We Did It!
We had our first IUI this morning, just a bit before 9 am. We got to the RE's office about 8:30, and after some confusion about whether I was supposed to get blood drawn (I wasn't, and thankfully the tech figured that out before the needle went into my arm), they took us back to a room.
The room was tiny-- barely enough space for Sylvia, the nurse, and me. The nurse showed us the syringe of sperm, verified the donor number, and connected it to the catheter. Then she left and I got undressed and up on the table to wait.
Sylvia and I were both full of nervous energy. This manifested in me being fidgety and in my wife singing silly lovemaking songs to me ("I want to sex you up", to name but one; I laughed and then said perhaps she should pick a different song for this particular occasion).
When Dr. P came in, he was all business. He shook our hands and then plopped down on the little stool by my feet to get started. The whole thing took less than five minutes.
Right when it was time to actually inseminate, Dr. P handed the reins to my wife. She held my hand with one hand while pushing the plunger with the other. It was a wonderful experience, and my sweet Sylvia was positively beaming.
They let me lay on the table afterward for as long as we wanted. I had a plane to catch (ugh), so I stayed laying down for just a little over half an hour. On the walk back to the car, Sylvia stopped to get coffee (for herself-- no caffeine for me right now) while I went straight to the car to lay down. When she got to the car she found me in the passenger's seat as flat as I could get with my feet up on the dash. That gave her a good laugh.
On the drive back home I basked in the sun-- it was a picture-perfect day, weather-wise-- and of course pulled out my cell phone to capture the moment (too bad you can't see how blue the sky was)...
The room was tiny-- barely enough space for Sylvia, the nurse, and me. The nurse showed us the syringe of sperm, verified the donor number, and connected it to the catheter. Then she left and I got undressed and up on the table to wait.
Sylvia and I were both full of nervous energy. This manifested in me being fidgety and in my wife singing silly lovemaking songs to me ("I want to sex you up", to name but one; I laughed and then said perhaps she should pick a different song for this particular occasion).
When Dr. P came in, he was all business. He shook our hands and then plopped down on the little stool by my feet to get started. The whole thing took less than five minutes.
Right when it was time to actually inseminate, Dr. P handed the reins to my wife. She held my hand with one hand while pushing the plunger with the other. It was a wonderful experience, and my sweet Sylvia was positively beaming.
They let me lay on the table afterward for as long as we wanted. I had a plane to catch (ugh), so I stayed laying down for just a little over half an hour. On the walk back to the car, Sylvia stopped to get coffee (for herself-- no caffeine for me right now) while I went straight to the car to lay down. When she got to the car she found me in the passenger's seat as flat as I could get with my feet up on the dash. That gave her a good laugh.
On the drive back home I basked in the sun-- it was a picture-perfect day, weather-wise-- and of course pulled out my cell phone to capture the moment (too bad you can't see how blue the sky was)...
Sylvia drove us home with one hand on the wheel and one hand on my belly. I tell you, that woman melts my heart over and over again.
Two hours later I was on a plane to Detroit for a week (for work). I miss my wife so much, and am so sad we aren't getting to spend these first few days together. Sigh.
Two hours later I was on a plane to Detroit for a week (for work). I miss my wife so much, and am so sad we aren't getting to spend these first few days together. Sigh.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Trigger? Check
After a disappointing early morning appointment (according to what I am realizing are imperfect measurements, my lead follicle had not grown at all in 2 days), it was an anxiety-filled day for us. Thankfully it ended well with a call from the nurse giving us the go-ahead to trigger tonight. I hate needles with a passion, but Sylvia did a great job. Thank goodness I didn't have to look at the needle as it was going in!
Here are the stats from this morning--
Follicles
L: 17 mm and 13 mm
R: all less than 10
Lining: 13 (Sylvia said the nurses' faces lit up when they said that it was "great!")
Bloodwork
E2: 167 (yes, this is low-- each mature follicle should = 200)
Progesterone: 0.4
FSH: 4.7
Ovidrel (hCG trigger): 8:10 pm
IUI scheduled for 8:30 am Sunday! Three cheers for weekend hours at the RE's office!
Here are the stats from this morning--
Follicles
L: 17 mm and 13 mm
R: all less than 10
Lining: 13 (Sylvia said the nurses' faces lit up when they said that it was "great!")
Bloodwork
E2: 167 (yes, this is low-- each mature follicle should = 200)
Progesterone: 0.4
FSH: 4.7
Ovidrel (hCG trigger): 8:10 pm
IUI scheduled for 8:30 am Sunday! Three cheers for weekend hours at the RE's office!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Getting There...
Hopefully I'll have some time to come back and fill in the gaps on this post, but just so I don't forget the relevant details...
Follicles (Sylvia took notes during the ultrasound, and wrote "I love my wife!" at the top. Awwww...)
L: 18, 11, 11, three less than 10 mm
R: 11, 11, five less than 10 mm
Bloodwork
E2: 124
Progesterone: 0.4
LH: 5.5
They want us to come back Friday for another ultrasound and round of bloodwork, and bring the trigger shot again. If we trigger Friday morning, we'll do the IUI Saturday.
And: We have sperm! And it is currently sitting in the RE's lab awaiting our IUI appointment!
It was a crazy morning-- an hour of driving from the RE's office (after the ultrasound) out to the sperm bank then another hour back to the RE's office, hauling the tank in to the office (full) then back to the car (empty, but not any lighter!), then making a mad dash for work (yep, super late). I tell ya, there is nothing like hauling a heavy tank of swimmers 5 blocks... in the rain... wearing a suit... and 3 1/2 inch heels.
I got a kick out of seeing our car all loaded up with baby-making equipment, and snapped a quick picture on my cell phone. The white container held the trigger shot, the gray container held the swimmers, and the blue file box holds my brain together (it has all our paperwork, notes from appointments and phone calls, rejection slips from the insurance company, etc.).
Follicles (Sylvia took notes during the ultrasound, and wrote "I love my wife!" at the top. Awwww...)
L: 18, 11, 11, three less than 10 mm
R: 11, 11, five less than 10 mm
Bloodwork
E2: 124
Progesterone: 0.4
LH: 5.5
They want us to come back Friday for another ultrasound and round of bloodwork, and bring the trigger shot again. If we trigger Friday morning, we'll do the IUI Saturday.
And: We have sperm! And it is currently sitting in the RE's lab awaiting our IUI appointment!
It was a crazy morning-- an hour of driving from the RE's office (after the ultrasound) out to the sperm bank then another hour back to the RE's office, hauling the tank in to the office (full) then back to the car (empty, but not any lighter!), then making a mad dash for work (yep, super late). I tell ya, there is nothing like hauling a heavy tank of swimmers 5 blocks... in the rain... wearing a suit... and 3 1/2 inch heels.
I got a kick out of seeing our car all loaded up with baby-making equipment, and snapped a quick picture on my cell phone. The white container held the trigger shot, the gray container held the swimmers, and the blue file box holds my brain together (it has all our paperwork, notes from appointments and phone calls, rejection slips from the insurance company, etc.).
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
It's Just a Burrito
I was pretty proud of how I'd been handling the Clomid crazies... until tonight. I totally lost it at dinner when I couldn't get my burrito re-wrapped after it came apart. Poor Sylvia, she was struggling to hide the "you can't be serious!" look on her face while simultaneously trying to talk me down.
After we got home (yes, I made her pack up our food right then and there and take it home for us to finish) I apologized. She just looked at me and smiled. I love my tolerant wife!
After we got home (yes, I made her pack up our food right then and there and take it home for us to finish) I apologized. She just looked at me and smiled. I love my tolerant wife!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Nerves
Wow. It is really here. The week of our first insemination. I don't know why, but I am a ball of nerves this morning!
We have always expected that it will take a long time to get me pregnant. But even though we still acknowledge that that is a very real possibility, our aggressive plan for this cycle (directly to meds, which we were not originally planning to do) has brought up some "what ifs" for us. Primarily: What if I do get pregnant on our first try?
We have both spent so long tiptoeing around the pool of optimism, not daring to touch the cool sweet water, that dipping our toes in seems bizarre. And yet, statistically speaking, it is possible that this will work. If we didn't think there was some chance of success, we wouldn't be trying, right?
This past weekend we allowed ourselves to speak aloud some of our optimistic and hopeful thoughts. It was scary and strange and wonderful. There is a big piece of me that wishes we could just let go entirely, dive headlong into the pool, and enjoy the happiness we'd find there. But we are too guarded against heartbreak, too aware of the realities of this world, to let go like that. It would be nice, though, just once...
We have always expected that it will take a long time to get me pregnant. But even though we still acknowledge that that is a very real possibility, our aggressive plan for this cycle (directly to meds, which we were not originally planning to do) has brought up some "what ifs" for us. Primarily: What if I do get pregnant on our first try?
We have both spent so long tiptoeing around the pool of optimism, not daring to touch the cool sweet water, that dipping our toes in seems bizarre. And yet, statistically speaking, it is possible that this will work. If we didn't think there was some chance of success, we wouldn't be trying, right?
This past weekend we allowed ourselves to speak aloud some of our optimistic and hopeful thoughts. It was scary and strange and wonderful. There is a big piece of me that wishes we could just let go entirely, dive headlong into the pool, and enjoy the happiness we'd find there. But we are too guarded against heartbreak, too aware of the realities of this world, to let go like that. It would be nice, though, just once...
Monday, April 13, 2009
Whirlwind
We have a plan. Yowza.
1500 mg Metformin/day
100 mg Clomid/day for 5 days (starting today, CD4)
Ovidrel trigger
One IUI
Possible progesterone supplementation (dependent on post-IUI bloodwork)
I can hardly breathe.
1500 mg Metformin/day
100 mg Clomid/day for 5 days (starting today, CD4)
Ovidrel trigger
One IUI
Possible progesterone supplementation (dependent on post-IUI bloodwork)
I can hardly breathe.
Pins and Needles
I can be so impatient sometimes! Today is Dr. P's first day back in the office. I know he's probably swamped, and in all fairness it is only 10:30 am, but I just want that phone to ring! I want to know what the plan is for this cycle more than anything right now.
My goal is to sit on my hands till 1:00 (3:00 if I can make it, but I doubt that!) and then call.
Tick tock tick tock...
ETA: I made it to 11:45 am *hangs head in shame*. But on the up-side, I am now officially on his call-back list. :)
My goal is to sit on my hands till 1:00 (3:00 if I can make it, but I doubt that!) and then call.
Tick tock tick tock...
ETA: I made it to 11:45 am *hangs head in shame*. But on the up-side, I am now officially on his call-back list. :)
Friday, April 10, 2009
CD61 / CD1
Farewell, February cycle!
CD1: Feb. 8
Positive OPK: Mar. 24
FF O date: Mar. 25 (CD46)
CD61: Apr. 9
Hello, April cycle!
CD1: Feb. 8
Positive OPK: Mar. 24
FF O date: Mar. 25 (CD46)
CD61: Apr. 9
Hello, April cycle!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
About The Incubator
"The Incubator" is the name my lovely wife Sylvia has taken to calling me. Most days, I like the name; it sounds hopeful to me still. I am the one we are trying to get pregnant. All of our proverbial eggs are in this one basket (me), as my wife had a hysterectomy many, many moons ago.
I was talking the other day with a friend who is in the same situation (she is the only one who can carry; her partner cannot), and we were commiserating about the pressure that that can sometimes bring. While many of our friends are able to switch partners if one is not able to get pregnant (and some have, with success), we are stuck. It is us or... nothing. Success or failure is in our hands alone. There is no plan B for a bio child.
So a little bit about me, fertility-wise:
I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. As someone who has always wanted children, the news was difficult to hear. Sylvia's support meant the world to me, but I walked through a peculiar kind of private grief. I had long suspected something wasn't quite right (it was bleeding every day for four solid months that had led me to the gyn's office), but a Googleable diagnosis was a different animal entirely.
I mourned, then threw myself headlong into my career. (I do that sometimes-- use work to fill up the holes in my heart.) For the next several years I pushed and pushed my way up the ladder, coming to rest in the position I hold now: a comfortable place (more or less) to stop while we try to have a child. At every step Sylvia and I talked about what the promotion would mean for our family plans, and, in part, it was knowing that we might have a rough go of it that led us to decide I should take each one. It wasn't so much putting Baby on hold for Career, as it was pursuing Career to guard against the possibility of a long journey to Baby. Plus, we figured, a little extra income would help when it comes to paying the doctor bills.
So here we are, ready to start, peering into the infertility tunnel.
I've been temping since May of 2008, and in that time have ovulated a whopping five times. When I've ovulated, it's been "late ovulation"-- none have occurred before CD21. This, as some may recognize, is not a particularly good place to start.
February 2009 brought a visit to my gyn to get the ball rolling prior to our intended start date of April 2009. Pap, TV ultrasound, anovulation panel, fasting glucose, and CMV test were all ordered. In the past, I've had these ultrasounds done at a place where they would subtly turn the screen away from my curious eyes once the tech reached my ovaries and caught her first glimpse. This time, there was a monitor on the wall. And there they were in all their glory: 27-inch images of my ovaries stuffed full of cysts. I drove to work that day with tears running down my face.
The gyn prescribed 1500 mg of Metformin per day and told us to come back in a couple of months.
Feeling like we didn't/don't have "months" to spare, we high-tailed it to the RE. We'd met our RE, Dr. P, in 2007 at a "Maybe Baby" class. He seemed very genuine, knowledgeable, and proactive, and we thought at the time that he might be a good RE for us. Our initial consult was mid-March, and after seeing the lab and ultrasound results from the gyn (finally-- they had not faxed them over as promised in advance of our consult), he ordered a few more tests. Those were done (see last post) and so here we are, waiting to begin our first cycle.
I was talking the other day with a friend who is in the same situation (she is the only one who can carry; her partner cannot), and we were commiserating about the pressure that that can sometimes bring. While many of our friends are able to switch partners if one is not able to get pregnant (and some have, with success), we are stuck. It is us or... nothing. Success or failure is in our hands alone. There is no plan B for a bio child.
So a little bit about me, fertility-wise:
I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. As someone who has always wanted children, the news was difficult to hear. Sylvia's support meant the world to me, but I walked through a peculiar kind of private grief. I had long suspected something wasn't quite right (it was bleeding every day for four solid months that had led me to the gyn's office), but a Googleable diagnosis was a different animal entirely.
I mourned, then threw myself headlong into my career. (I do that sometimes-- use work to fill up the holes in my heart.) For the next several years I pushed and pushed my way up the ladder, coming to rest in the position I hold now: a comfortable place (more or less) to stop while we try to have a child. At every step Sylvia and I talked about what the promotion would mean for our family plans, and, in part, it was knowing that we might have a rough go of it that led us to decide I should take each one. It wasn't so much putting Baby on hold for Career, as it was pursuing Career to guard against the possibility of a long journey to Baby. Plus, we figured, a little extra income would help when it comes to paying the doctor bills.
So here we are, ready to start, peering into the infertility tunnel.
I've been temping since May of 2008, and in that time have ovulated a whopping five times. When I've ovulated, it's been "late ovulation"-- none have occurred before CD21. This, as some may recognize, is not a particularly good place to start.
February 2009 brought a visit to my gyn to get the ball rolling prior to our intended start date of April 2009. Pap, TV ultrasound, anovulation panel, fasting glucose, and CMV test were all ordered. In the past, I've had these ultrasounds done at a place where they would subtly turn the screen away from my curious eyes once the tech reached my ovaries and caught her first glimpse. This time, there was a monitor on the wall. And there they were in all their glory: 27-inch images of my ovaries stuffed full of cysts. I drove to work that day with tears running down my face.
The gyn prescribed 1500 mg of Metformin per day and told us to come back in a couple of months.
Feeling like we didn't/don't have "months" to spare, we high-tailed it to the RE. We'd met our RE, Dr. P, in 2007 at a "Maybe Baby" class. He seemed very genuine, knowledgeable, and proactive, and we thought at the time that he might be a good RE for us. Our initial consult was mid-March, and after seeing the lab and ultrasound results from the gyn (finally-- they had not faxed them over as promised in advance of our consult), he ordered a few more tests. Those were done (see last post) and so here we are, waiting to begin our first cycle.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Test Results Are In
The last test results I was waiting for are in.
17-OH progesterone: 139
DHEAS: 229
Dr. Google says both are within "normal" range, but no word from a real Dr yet. Unfortunately, Dr. P is on vacation till next Tuesday (sigh).
The nurse was very nice, and agreed I could come in for CD3 bloodwork even though we don't have a defined plan yet. Looks like it may be a non-medicated cycle this time around by default. I'm trying to not be disappointed, but the prospect of taking up all of April and all of May for one cycle (a "good" cycle for me is 60+ days) is a little disheartening.
17-OH progesterone: 139
DHEAS: 229
Dr. Google says both are within "normal" range, but no word from a real Dr yet. Unfortunately, Dr. P is on vacation till next Tuesday (sigh).
The nurse was very nice, and agreed I could come in for CD3 bloodwork even though we don't have a defined plan yet. Looks like it may be a non-medicated cycle this time around by default. I'm trying to not be disappointed, but the prospect of taking up all of April and all of May for one cycle (a "good" cycle for me is 60+ days) is a little disheartening.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
The Adventure Begins
When I am getting to know a new blog, the first thing I do is go back to the beginning. I'm looking for that critical nugget of information, the pithy statement that tells me who this person is and why they are blogging. So here goes...
I am a 30-something woman (Christine) married to a wonderful 40-something woman (Sylvia) and we are embarking on the adventure of a lifetime: trying to have a baby. We don't know how it will all turn out or where we will end up, but we are holding our collective breath and daring to hope for a child to call our own.
For the moment, this blog is a place for me to remember things-- events, emotions, everything-- huge turning points and mundane details alike. I have a terrible (terrible!) memory. I have been through several incredible journeys in my life, each time neglecting to keep a journal or log, thinking "surely I will remember this always" only to have the memory whisked away by time and stress and new memories that seem to crowd out old ones.
But I don't want to forget this.
And so here I am, in this not-yet-public space, capturing memories. Some day I may make this blog public. But for now, it is simply this: a place for me, for my wife, for our Adventure.
x
I am a 30-something woman (Christine) married to a wonderful 40-something woman (Sylvia) and we are embarking on the adventure of a lifetime: trying to have a baby. We don't know how it will all turn out or where we will end up, but we are holding our collective breath and daring to hope for a child to call our own.
For the moment, this blog is a place for me to remember things-- events, emotions, everything-- huge turning points and mundane details alike. I have a terrible (terrible!) memory. I have been through several incredible journeys in my life, each time neglecting to keep a journal or log, thinking "surely I will remember this always" only to have the memory whisked away by time and stress and new memories that seem to crowd out old ones.
But I don't want to forget this.
And so here I am, in this not-yet-public space, capturing memories. Some day I may make this blog public. But for now, it is simply this: a place for me, for my wife, for our Adventure.
x
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