This past Saturday Thomas and I went to our childbirth class and let me just say...WOW! Wow on so many levels 1) it was a 7 hour long class 2) we had a 400 pound teacher who huffed, puffed, and sweated ALL DAY 3) way too many graphic videos and 4) why did I have so many "granola" people in my class who wanted to have a natural birth?!?!
First of all seven hours...one classroom...enough said! Thomas and I opted for the one day class instead of the once a week class for 6 weeks.
Second, our teacher weighed literally 300-400 pounds. She was dripping sweat and totally out of breath after passing out the papers at the beginning of class to the seven couples! Bless her heart she was so nice and informative, but the sweat and huffing and puffing was totally distracting. AND no one prepared me for her to lay on the floor and demonstrate how to breath and push. Let me just paint a picture for you. All seven couples are on the floor on yoga mats with the girls sitting Indian style and the boys sitting behind them. Then this 400 pound woman proceeds to heave her legs in the air and hee-hee-hee-who and start to push. Well it might not sound that funny but she was really pushing so hard that her face was the color of a tomato! I couldn't stop laughing! Thomas had his head buried in my back laughing his head off and I being in the front had no where to hide my head. I laughed until I cried! But of course Mr. and Mrs. Granola just looked at us like, "You immature little couple, this is a natural process." And no one else in the class cracked a smile! I was totally shocked! Who wouldn't think that a 400 pound woman on the floor with her legs in the air and grunting until her face was bloodshot isn't funny? I did!!
In fact I laughed so hard when we first got on the floor. The girls were supposed to lay on the yoga mat and relax, and think of a calming place. Well I while I'm just laying there and Thomas is sitting beside me, I see one couple and the guy has decied to lay down with his wife and spoon and rub all over her. It looked like they were trying to make another baby. OK...There is another couple that I can see that the guy is massaging the girls back and another where the guy is playing with the girls hair and rubbing all over her. Well I look back to smile at Thomas and make sure that he is seeing what I am (we aren't a couple who rubs all over each other in public, much less spoon in public) and he is leaning back against a chair and just about asleep. HAHA!!
Next, the videos we had to watch...well if you have been to a class like this then you know what I'm talking about. GROSS!!
And finally to all the peeps in my class who were natural birth advocates...Don't get me wrong, if you are woman enough to have a baby with no drugs...Great, but honestly what are you proving? We had this couple in the class who just gave off the impression that if you didn't have a "natural birth" then you were just doing something wrong. I want to have drugs as soon as possible! I am the first person to tell you I am a HUGE baby and don't want to feel the pain, and after watching previously mentioned "graphic videos" I know without medicine there will be immense pain!
I must say although it was a long, sometimes too graphic day Thomas and I did learn alot from the class. We are both so excited about welcoming our little girl into this world! I think Sarah Claire already has Thomas wrapped around her finger even now. We were out shopping the other day and usually it is me who is doing alot of buying but sweet Thomas was picking out things that Sarah Claire "needed". He got her some of the cutest outfits! It was priceless seeing him looking at these tiny little pink outfits and carrying them around. I love it!! He is going to be the best daddy!!
Well that's all for now. Sorry no pictures. =( However, the next post will be filled with them! I have a shower given by my sweet friends in Montgomery in a couple of weeks!
