For the first time.

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I never felt so loved before, from family > relatives > friends > colleagues, anyone who cared for me and asked me how I’m doing/coping this mishap. I’m good, really. Adapting a whole new life, accepting the fate of this scar.

Went for my first review last wednesday, turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The laceration on my forehead is healing really well, and I’m undergoing this scar management programme, review is in a month time. Then again, I’m wondering when I can officially ‘discharge’ from NUH. It has been rather packed month, with frequent visits to the hospital for reviews.

I have friends/relatives/colleagues who told me that I have slimmed down a far bit, and asked me the fainting issue is it due to dieting. The answer is NO. I have been eating regularly, maybe not proper meals, but yeah, I have been leading an active lifestyle. And maybe I don’t look as radiant as before, meaning, face damn cui now. I can’t go for facial, let alone utilizing my IPL package, demoralizing ahhh.

Spent quality time with granny again, settled some legal documents and realized whenever we talk about grandpa, her eyes are all well-up. Sigh, my heart breaks too.

I think I’m ready… to keep the Snowball rolling…

Bad luck beckons.

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I have been going through a series of unfortunate events.

I fainted. I was sent to the hospital. I got stitched up.

I’m disfigured, one way or another.

I still can’t figure out the actual reason behind the incident. (Am actually quite worried about it.)

 

Anyhow, good things do happen after the bad ones.

did God answered my wish? (I think so)

I said it cause I care.

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Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.

These are the people who mean the world to me, they are the ones who constantly keep my chin up high.

Just a few days ago, was talking to Alex, and both of us agreed that we only keep in contact with the CLS club people, than our classmates. Being in the club forged our identity, and friendship that stays on. I have witnessed it, of the recent Jianwei’s 21st is an example. The usual clique, thanks for making me feel so special. I will be there for you all, like you all always do.

You can count on me like one, two, three.

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You are very much missed, and again, I stared at the pictures of you and I for the longest. The tears just flow out uncontrollably. I have regretted not taking pictures with you when you are around.

Eyes are well up again, it has been 5 months since, things may have changed, but definitely not the feeling I have for you.

Today I have learnt that being alone is really scary.

Gong gong, I love you, and missed you much.

 

We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say goodbye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can’t turn the hourglass over.

 

The wrong goodbye.

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Transitions in life are usually marked by major events, birthdays, graduations, weddings; but the greater transition often come out of smaller moments, when we stop and look at who we are, because each time we see how far we have come, we also see how far we still have to go.

In order to fully transform, we might need to free ourselves of everything we’ve been holding on to, to send us on our new path, the right one. But if at the end, you find the person you have become is not the person you want to be. You can always turn around and try again. And may be the next time you won’t be so alone when it’s over, too late to turn back now.

Rolling in the deep.

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The overwhelmed emotions have to draw a distinct line.

 

I came to a conclusion, there are just too many people who claim to know me well, but the fact is, I don’t even open up to them, how can they know me so well? At times, I really just want to be alone. But, just when the mood gets a little better, I just want the closer ones to be around. Nonetheless, they are no where to be found, thus, back to square one. Such emotions are just like the vicious cycle of my work and school.

Does studying / tests / exams evoke the emotional side of me?

 

The scars of your love remind me of us, 
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all, 
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless, 
I can’t help feeling.

The Edge Of Glory

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I have lost it, and it seems like forever.

Maybe I have resigned to fate, to be a working adult. Despite the countless times I have said, my job has really good prospects for me. I love my job, no doubts.

Then again, the university talk set me thinking. Its a place I really yearn for, to be there, embrace the environment, the culture and of course, to be a full-time student once again.

All these posts bore you out, I suppose? It revolves around work and studies. I really cannot make a decision.

Shine a light on me, will you?

I have been going through tough time, because the sight of you really irks me. Leave me alone,  stop striking a conversation with me, stop smiling to me, stop asking about me and stop filling me with your life. Most importantly, STOP APPEARING IN FRONT OF ME. Just let me breathe.

This has been bothering me much.

 

So the other day, I visited Rider’s Cafe for brunch. The ambience is really GOODDDDDDDD. ok, randommm. kthxbye.

R?

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The long rides home set me thinking of the various issues in my life right now. I’m happy yet unhappy at the same time. I hate how my heart flutters. Certain things are just subjective and it may or may not be pointless to talk about it.

That aside, I have completed something which I have totally detest about doing it. 12 hours of OT. This is certainly no joke, as much as I thought I could finish it by noon, it just never ends. Well done, I deserved a good rest.