Even with 5 kids, I was handling my life fine-- I had time to learn how to play the guitar, time to read and time to learn all sorts of cooking and food prep. Enter the twins-- I went from 5 kids to 7 and it was rough. I am jut 5'2" tall, so the pregnancy was very heavy for me. By the end I could hardly walk and I struggled to finish the dishes by sitting on a stool, I also sat on a stool to cook. The pregnancy was hard from the beginning-- I was twice as sick the first trimester and twice as big the 3rd, the 2nd was O.K. I was too tired to do anything besides take care of my 5 children and my pregnant self. Once the babies were born I literally could do nothing except take care of those babies, pull meals together and read to the kids or help them with their schoolwork while I nursed those twins. There wasn't enough time to clean, our house was really, really messy. The kids would have helped, but it was so out of control that they just couldn't because they wouldn't know where to start. I did have meals brought in at first and my mom helped with laundry, but wow-- the whole year is kind of a blur. I loved those babies and enjoyed them, but there was no time for book clubs or playing the guitar. We barely made it to our homeschool group once a week. School was O.K. because I could do that while I nursed, but that is about all I did. I don't even remember much about Christmas because I think it was still a blur. Once those babies turned 1, my life started to ease up. I was ready to join back into life and social events as I am a very social person.
That was a rude awakening. My 3 best friends had moved during that year and 3 others the year before. The couple of friends who were left who I had done things with when my older kids were young no longer had babies. They were entering the phase of motherhood where the youngest child goes off to school and they suddenly have some newfound freedom and opportunities. I felt like everybody left me behind, and I think they did. It was time for me to grow further and it was time for our family to move to a better environment closer to my husband's work. That didn't turn out to be very easy, and only after it got really hard for not just me, but for the kids, we knew we had to force the move and just do it. We are in the process now- still haven't moved, but we are feeling much better because we are building a great house in a great neighborhood and area for our family. Things I've learned and experience I've gained from these experiences are really due to those twins.
I read that only about 0.5% of women nowadays have 7 children or more. In Utah, there are a good number of families with 4 and 5 kids, 6 is less common but accepted as normal, and very few families have 7 or more children. So I think I was considered "normal" with my 7 because the last 2 were twins and that is "acceptable". Those twins are so cute and so sweet. They are worth every pain I endured. With a promotion at work and a new house being built with plenty of room and a feeling of someone missing, we decided to have another baby. I am no longer considered "normal" even though it is just one more kid than my 7. Some people are having a hard time accepting it. I find myself growing again, going against the culture and defending my freedom of choice and being fine with staying away from negative people and just doing what I think is best regardless of what others say or think.
So far baby #8 has already changed my life forever. I am officially "unusual" now and officially in the BIG family club. I do have a very nice big family group I'm a part of and those ladies are wonderful and very encouraging. I have some good friends with varying sizes of families who are supportive of me and that make me feel good.
I read a quote by Joseph Smith the other day that perfectly describes how I feel about this:
When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind.
( this is from Daughters in My Kingdom page 23)
I had no idea there was even so much to learn and do in this life. Thank you baby #8, I am already a better person because of you. Thank you to my husband for always being there for me-- at least we have each other!! Thank you to all my sweet and good children for putting up with me and loving me despite my weaknesses. Thank you to all the people who have shown love to me even though they may not understand me or even know me or have met me in person. Thank you to anyone who has been kind to me and smiled despite the throng of children usually following me around. Thank you for being nice. Going against the grain is not an easy thing to do-- there are plenty who mock and don't even try to understand. Thank you to you for being a true friend.
p.s., the morning sickness is finally starting to subside, I exercised for the first time today in about 6 weeks-- it felt sooooooo good-- I should be pretty much back to normal in a week or 2 so I'm sure I'll be back on here posting updates-- the past few weeks have been rather boring with me laying down and resting every time the twins go to bed. Fortunately my kids watch so little TV that they actually guiltily like it when I'm sick because then they pretty much get to watch as much TV as they want. My husband was sick last week too so they had a couple days of marathon Curios George shows on Netflix. They're hoping to watch a lot of Kipper too, but I'm starting to feel better and I made them all do aerobics and yoga with me today. They'll thank me later!!
