I went back and read a lot of what I used to house here. I think that for a lot of people, there might be some merit to the classical notion that the most beautiful things come out of anguish. I realize that other people have problems too, but there was indeed a certain clarity to the literary documentation of my constant emotional suffering. There was a sincerity and poignancy that, if I may, I find difficult to hone in on these days. That said, I'm far from suffering and hope to achieve something different than before by documenting my travels more objectively. I'm headed toward bigger, better things and would like to use the catharsis of journaling to share the experience rather than wallow. Is this weird, indicting my former self that way? He'd no doubt understand that often times, we're swallowed up by circumstance and can't see through the haze. I was circumstantially miserable, and I'm not anymore. We'll see how long that lasts, I suppose.
I spent the most lovely ten months of my life living in Charleston, working for the largest professional theatre in the state. I had the opportunity to perform in several professional productions, teach some of the most delightful children, experience the culture and and beauty of one of the most incredible American cities, and above all, create relationships that I hold largely responsible for rescuing me from the emotional mire. I don't want to sound rude, but when I moved there, I never thought that I would create the types of connections that I did. Real, intense, loving connections with people who come from a very different place from me. I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose, because if I'm anything, its constantly blessed with opportunities to meet the most amazing
people. But I recall a sense of pessimism about the interpersonal aspect of the contract when I moved there, a reservation about my ability to ever create and establish the kinds of relationships that I had from before:
"I have begun meeting people, vining out socially and giving out
kernels (only ever small and brightly colored baubles) of self, establishing my type and my grit (or relative lack thereof), making my habits and attributes and stripes apparent and clear. I have met some wonderful people and grown close to them quickly. I've created a pattern, tested it, and know that it works. I'm safe, but far and guarded. What can one do when walking foreign land? "
Well, that was silly. I made some of the best friends I've ever had, and leaving them ranks up among one of the hardest things I've had to do. Man. Come to think of it, I really lived it up. I danced (a lot), I sang, I acted, I ran and walked and biked (oh how I biked), I shared, I drank, I I partied and cooked, I taught and learned (man...I learned a lot), I cried, I traveled, I ate. I was so wonderfully, undeniably myself. It was truly an oasis. I had arguably the most fun of my entire life, and the relief is in knowing that those wonderful people will all still be around. Good times.
I've moved back to Virginia to live for a few months with my sister. She's 5 1/2 months with a
baby girl, my first niece, who's due sometime in October. The little one weighs only a pound but I already feel so fondly for her. I was lucky enough to go with my sister to her most recent ultrasound, and I got to see the little darling in the womb. At one point, she angled her body such that she was facing the sensor with her mouth open. I don't know about you, but to me, that looks like a smile.
Living with my sister has been great. We live at a medium-pace which, while at times a bit lethargic, is a welcome change from the often 14 hour days spent working in Charleston. There is a bit of a culture shock of course, leaving Charleston's internationally-renowned restaurants and rich history for the suburb of such a place here in Virginia, but we make do. I've had a great deal of time to recommit fully to my other responsibilities and passions, namely my work with CASA and my podcast, Mouth Off!, and I'm arranging again. This week, I start a new, fantastic job in Hampton. On Wednesday I begin as the Director of Youth Day Camps for the Salvation Army. I'll be responsible for, well, directing their day camps. From managing and scheduling the counselors, leading field trips, organizing the daily schedules and maintaining the administrative end of the program, I'll be working full time for the summer, for once, in a position that will really utilize my skills. I've mentioned a lot how much fun I had in Charleston, but I haven't mentioned how absolutely invaluable the experience was in giving me really helpful skills to put on my resume. I'm really excited to start, to get to be working with children still, to be occupying my time and making a difference. You know, all of that altruistic, good-spirited stuff.
But also, I'm really glad to be making money. Enough money to save money, so that this Fall or early Winter, I can make my way to New York City. Working in the theatre for an extended contract really reinvigorated the never-dead but often hidden desire of mine to live and breathe in the performing arts. My time away after college really killed the drive in me, but being on stage- performing and singing and arranging and teaching- made me feel terrific, and I have tapped into some terrific and exciting new aspects of my abilities. I think it's the place for me. Also, there's a lot of a cappella, ALL of the theatre in the world, and friends. Lots of friends. Namely, one James who has been there for less than a month and is already living the dream- hopefully homeboy is placeholding for when I get up there.
So that's all of that. What's happening now? Next weekend I'm flying to San Jose, CA for the CASA Board Retreat. It's one of the only time years that the acting Board members get to convene and do the awesome work of the organization all together in the same room. At the end of the month, I'm going with Brittany to see the new Twilight movie. No, it wasn't my idea, and no, I'm not a fan, but there's a fun little grown-up party being held at the Air and Space museum downtown and frankly, who am I to turn down fun and free vampire-themed alcohol and food? (In other vampire news, Season 3 of True Blood starts tonight- I am very happy about this. )
And finally, if you're looking for your a cappella fix this summer, I've got the hookup. Primarily through my podcast, Mouth Off! (which, if you're reading this, you should subscribe to), I've scouted out a few terrific new collegiate albums coming out. I'll post some more about them this week, but they're goooooood. In pursuit of some aca-reading? Check out my friend Andrea's new blog dedicated to her quest for a cappella stardom after college. This weekend we had a fun (and hopefully informative) talk about what she can do to keep up with aca after school- and basically, we're in love so you should definitely check it out here.
That's it for now- but hopefully I'll be around more consistently. I have lots to say and finally have the time in which to say it. Things are good. That's a pretty amazing thing to be able to say.
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