So on Friday I moved to SLC. Very long story. My cousin Angeline and I had our differences. I admit, I can do things better. This time  it was on her, I even apologized to her and tried to make things right, but she's a grudge holder. She called me a bad parent and said that I was no bette than her clients she works with. I asked her to elaborate, she said she shouldn't have to that I should know what  I do wrong when parenting.
She got mad on top of all of this b/c I wouldn't watch Paranormal Activity with her. Movies like that bring a bad vibe, and I don't want that around Ashton. She of course, couldn't understand what's wrong with it.

So now I'm on my own. I found some roomates who decided on Sunday to kick me out b/c their friends can pay more than I can for rent. Money talks, ya know? geez. I'm just very greatful to have Bethany and Jared. I was scared that when I got kicked out that since I didn't have a place  to go, I would have to give Ashton to Travis. Jared looked at me and said it will be alright. Then Bethany and him talked. He said I could stay here for a few weeks.

It makes a HUGE difference when people follow the spirit, and have  it in their lives. So right now I'm working on a job and getting a place. I have some friends we could get an apartment with. So lets see how things work.

Ashton got to visit with his dad yesterday. He came back and was onry and gets violent with biting, etc. Today he is more relaxed and calm, even when he's tired.
that's a brief summery of life so far.

So Wednesday was the start of a new semester for Institute :)

"I am without beginning of days or end or years, what am I?" (Answer The priesthood)

Alma 13:1-13 (What are some Priesthood attirbutes?)
- Humble- takes ownership in his calling as a man/priesthood
- Teacher by example, callings, scriptures
- EXCEEDING FAITH
- God Works (Selfless service)
- Accepting Christ
- Not hard hearted
- Honest
-Pays full tithe
- Hard worker/Temple worthy
-Holy Calling
-Follows the spirit
-Truthful
-Has firm foundation of Testimony

What does it mean to be Sanctified?
Alma 13:11-12
Pure
Spotless
Holy
Repentive
Wears Garments

Alma 13:9
Why the priesthood?
Alma 13:14-19
gen 14:18-20
gen 14:29-40
Hebrew 7:3
D&C 107:2-4

"Prove chosen and faithful"

So I have known for about a week or so that Travis and his gf Bree were dating. At first I felt really hurt and betrayed. I wanted Ashton to spend Christmas with Travis, but I didn't want him staying over night until I had met Bree. I have heard she's a great person, but I needed the reasurrance (mothers, you know what I'm talking about!)


So yesterday she and Travis (along with her son Nathan who is Ashton's age) came to pick Ashton and I up. I thought it would be an awkward three hour drive back to Salt Lake...and at first it was. Comes to find out, I really like her! She and I are trying to reach out to one another and make the best of this situation. And I will admit, I got upset when she and travis were exchanging little pecks of kisses here and there, and the way he looked at her because it was like seeing how he and I used to be.

I knew all of this (me staying with them during the holidays) was going to be emotional and a big change, but I didn't expect it to be so intense...

We walk through the front door and its like everything has changed. I had expected that, but not really since she doesn't live with him (yet). That was the hard part. I can see why I was content with living and being here, but neither Travis nor I were progressing, we were stuck in the mindset that we were in when we met. I think being together like this has made us both grow up a bit more, and maybe prepared him for a future with Bree.

Travis and I had the oppertunity to talk and express how we feel. He told me he wouldn't care if I dated. I told him that is where we differ. I explained that morally we're still married and its wrong so I'm waiting a while. He understood. I was able to talk to Bree expressing that fact that no matter what, Travis and I are always going to be involved with one another because of Ashton (but obviouly not romantically) and I hope that Trav keeps going in the direction he is to better himself.

Some people disagree with the fact I should have let Ashton see Travis, that I shouldn't have gone, or shouldn't even have been there. But honestly, I think it was a good growing experience. I feel that whatever feelings I still had for Travis are completely gone, and I can move on. By last night (Christmas) I was able to feel content being alone, single parent, and going the direction I was headed. I feel I can hold onto the good times he and I shared, and keep it at that.

I feel the concern people had for me while I stayed over there, and I appreciate it. I just wanted to get to know who will be around my son. Trav said after our divorce he plans to marry her and she would like to marry him but not rush things. I think she is good for him because she doesn't take any of his crap, and doesn't condone his negative behavior for attention. Also, Travis has been allowed visitation by agreement between me and him. He offered to pay for a room at a hotel, but Bree insisted I stayed so she and I can get to know one another. Granted it was only the first visit meeting her, but I have a feeling if she is to be involved with Travis, its good I get to know her more. All around, it was a good emotional experience to endure, and I feel like a stronger person because of it.

Well things are an emotional roller coaster right now. If I don't contest the divorce papers by the 30th, they will take affect into which it means Travis will have custody of Ashton until I can get the money to contest.
I've been looking harder and harder for a job. I'm even calling this guy up for a construction job in Duchesne from 7am-4:30pm M-F. I gotta do what I gotta do.
Moving to Salt Lake would give me the broader job oppertunities, and I'm tempted. I would have to leave behind the family support, along with the closeness of a small town (to where I can walk places without having a car) vs big city.

Much to pray about, keep me in your prayers!

This past week has been very busy. I went to see my sister in law, Angie while we went to pick her mother up. I stayed at Angie's house while Travis had to work most of the time. He cancelled plans to see Ashton one day because he had to work, and I'm fine with that because it can't be helped. Then this whole week he cancelled because comes to find out he has a female interest who he plans on joining the National Guard with so they can be buds there.

Ashton was able to go out to eat and see Travis for a few hours while in company of his Grandma, Cousin Nineavah, and Aunt Angie.

We have been talking about Abinadi's Messages he has shared throughout Mosiah. Lets look at some chapters to see if the people understood his message and what they thought of Abinadi.

Mosiah Chapter                        Effect of Abinadi's Message
18:8,9,10-16                            Talks about Baptimsimal Covenants
20:21                                        Words of Abinadi fulfilled which he prophisized about, faith
21:30                           King Noah and the people grieved Abinadi's death who formed a Church of God
26:15                                         Blessings
Alma 25:9,11                            Sacrificed his life for his belief in God
Mormon 1:19                             Abinadi prophacy about wickedness came to pass


Mosiah Chapter 18: 8-16
What are the Promises?                                                       What is the Covenant?
- Redeemed of God                                                         - Enter into the covenant
- Forgiven of sin                                                             - Baptism by emersian
- Eternal Life                                                                  - Serve and keep God's commandments
- Rejoice                                                                        - Bare burdens
- Filled with grace of God                                               - Come unto the fold
                                                          - Mourn with those that mourn/confort those that need comfort
                                                           - Stand as a witness of God
Throughout this time, 450 souls were baptized!

journal:
- At what age do you suppose young men make the commitment to serve a full time mission?
- even though they (young women) do not serve full time missions, can they stand to witness Christ?
- Have you ever been faced with the choice of whether to help someone in need, especially if its inconvienant?
- Have you made a commitment to do these things?

Mosiah Chapters 21,22,24
" If they say our day and chose these things which would be of greatest woth to us, is not that how we should study the book of mormon? we should constantly ask ourselves 'why did the Lord inspire Mormon (or moroni or alma) to include that in his record? What lesson can I  learn from that to help me live in this day and age?" (Pres. Ezra Taft Benson, CR Oct 1986)