unquestionable love

We have a plan! I love having a plan! The RE appointment went well. Actually, I really love my RE. He's obviously a genius, but I like that he takes the time to really think about my chart, and sometimes he talks through things as we're sitting through there, figuring out his next step. It just makes me feel like he's making specific decisions for US.

Anyway, an utterly shocking revelation: I have PCOS. What?!? He thought I knew. I sure did not. It doesn't really change things, but yeah...surprise!

So our new protocol is kind of more of the same. I start Provera tonight. Then I will do 150mg of Clomid on CD 3-7, trigger and we'll do a follow up HSG next cycle along with IUI. If we are unsuccessful with that this month, then we'll switch to another drug (lepronex, perhaps? not sure the name of it) for a month or two and then we'll move to injectables.

Here's hoping that I don't get my horrible Provera period while in Hilton Head this next week. We leave Saturday morning and will be gone for a week, so if all goes as planned, I should start the day before or the day of our drive home. Better than having AF all week while on the beach.

Okay, I'm off to watch Ugly Betty & Grey's....eeeEEEeeEE!! I'm so excited!!

Last night, J and I were discussing Wednesday's RE appointment and what we thought might happen, etc. We both think that we'll do another few months of IUI without injectibles, we just aren't sure what other drug (Clomid or something else) that we will be using. So we were talking and J says that he really has a good feeling about this upcoming IUI cycle. He just really thinks that the surgery helped things a lot and blah, blah, blah....this is where I tune out.

My response: The surgery had nothing to do with WHY we weren't getting pregnant. It only had to do with removing the septum in case we eventually do get pregnant.

He says: But what about the thing they removed from your ovary?

Me: What thing?

Him: You remember. I told you about it on the way home from your surgery.

Me: ::eyes bugging out:: Umm. Maybe that's true, but if you recall, I was a little DRUGGED up and pretty much slept the entire car ride home.

Him: Oh, yeah. That's true. I guess I should have mentioned that again, huh?

Yes, perhaps. Freak! So come to find out, they removed something from my ovary. What it was, we're not sure. I think it was a little too much information for him to take in (as I'm sure it would be for anyone) after the surgery when the Dr. came out to tell him how it went. But it does shed a smidgen of hope. Maybe this mysterious mass was preventing my eggs from releasing. Maybe having it removed will actually result in more follies, which will mean better chances of success.

Maybe. But I guess I'll wait to hold out too much hope until we talk to the RE.

The short of it: My sister had an ectopic pg and had an emergency surgery last night.

She had a tubal ligation nearly 2 years ago. She's the 2nd patient of her doctor's in 20 years to have this happen.

She was more worried about how I would take it than she was about herself. That is how selfless my sister is. She could have DIED and she was still worried about me, her husband, their base group for having a dinner planned at their house...everyone but herself.

Funny enough, she adopted a 110 lb. chocolate lab YESTERDAY. In all of her pain. So I spent today taking care of one of my nephews, getting the dog groomed, buying groceries and dog bones/toys. I felt like I'd filled an entire day at just 2:00. Now I'm home and I'm going to catch up on my Oprah's from the past 2 weeks.

I'm just so thankful that my sister is okay. I couldn't handle ANYthing without her. She has the highest pain tolerance of anyone I've ever met. It's kind of ironic that she can go and get pg after a procedure to PREVENT it when I can't even convince my body to attempt it. Aaargh.

So the removal of the balloon and the subsequent cramping/bleeding were truly not as bad as I had built them up to be. I was so tense and nervous, and this was the first appointment that DH didn't get to go to because I drove an hour and then came straight to a conference for the week. But that meant that I was extra nervous and really really uptight and tensed up. After I relaxed a little bit, the nurse did her thing and removed it pretty slowly.

I am, however, glad that I was the first and only patient in the place because I let out a pretty loud yell. It just quickly hurt and took my breath away. Then I cramped for literally seconds and I was fine. I also expected lots of bleeding after the fact which didn't happen. It's basically just been some spotting here and there since Monday.

I grabbed these first thing and then headed over to the bag section, where I had also seen a pretty cute work bag and I thought I needed it since I have this conference all week next week. But I let my conscience get the best of me and skipped it. So I grabbed a couple of Mother's Day cards, some mousse & shampoo and a Starbucks Hot Chocolate and I was out the door. But it wasn't without some pain and some extreme fatigue. I was so freaking tired!!! I guess it just wore me out. I wasn't prepared to be hit by a mack truck but it sure felt like I was. I think I just need to sit down often because the more I am up and about and walking, the more this balloon feels like it's going to fall out. I know that this is nearly impossible but it is still uncomfortable.

So though I had wanted to run by the mall to see if there were any cute shoes calling my name and if there were any good sales, I simply headed over to a voting center and voted really quickly and then headed home. Now I'm snuggled back into my big comfy bed with the windows opened and my fan blowing nicely on me. It feels soooo nice. I am going to start reading my new book as soon as I check blogs.

That's my day. I tried to be ambitious and get lots done, but instead I will relax some more and get a little laundry done. And hopefully my babies will be home soon to cuddle with me.

Necessities for a speedy and comfortable recovery:

• Chick Flicks: Juno, 27 Dresses and the Wizard of Oz (to start)
• Chocolate: My favorite Reese's Big Cups and some Hershey's Bliss
• Good Food: Didn't think I'd have much of an appetite, but I sure do! So yesterday MIL brought me my favorite, Olive Garden Minestrone soup and Chicken Parmesan. Yum!
• Comfy Bed: There is no bed as comfy as my big huge bed full of the stuff that I love! (Except for my puppies who are at MIL's house till tomorrow.)
• Computer: Can't survive without my computer. Plus it allows me to keep up on the millions of emails that I get at work. That way when I get back I won't be overwhelmed.
• Oprah: You can see that she's on in the background. I intentionally left 5 or 6 left unseen on the DVR so I would have plenty to catch up on.
• John & Kate + 8: 'Nuff said.
• Grey's: Didn't get to watch it last night in my anesthised state.
• Ugly Betty: Actually, I have 2 episodes to watch. Eee!
• A Good Book: I'm starting 19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult. Don't know if it's good yet but I can't imagine that it won't be.
• A caring hubby: He's waiting on me hand and foot. It's pretty sweet.
• Lots of drugs: Vicodin is my friend.

As for the surgery itself, I would say that the hardest part was the wait. I had to be there at 10:30, but as is always the case when J is involved, we were 30 minutes early. (To his credit, we have a 45 minute-1hour drive and you never know about traffic on the interstate.) So we get there at 10, get checked in and they actually come pretty quickly to take me back. After trying on one arm to get the IV in, she tried my hand on the same side. No luck. So she moved to the other arm and finally got the sucker in. So once she got that in, I signed some papers and she brought Josh back. We got to relax for about 2 hours and I watched some Little People, Big World as J read. I guess there are worse ways to spend 2 hours.

Then the RE came in and went over some stuff, as did the anesthesiologist. Finally, it was time to wheel back. There was another girl in with my same last name and she was having IVF at the same time, so they asked me like a million times what my name and DOB were. They got me moved onto the operating table and he started the drugs and I was out pretty quick. I love that part! Next thing I remember is quite a bit of pain and I was in recovery and the nurse got me some more meds for the pain. Then I slowly woke up and had to pee. They got J while I was in the bathroom and then I just waited a little more. They made me eat some crackers and he went to get the car and I got in the wheelchair after she gave me some nausea medicine. Yeah. That didn't help. The guy starts wheeling me and OOPS! I throw up. Tons of water and crackers. So he gets me another tub and I throw up some more. Then nurse brings a trash can and I throw up some more. All over my cute and comfy pants. Finally get done with all that and feel MUCH better. J missed all the action! So I pass out for the entire car ride home and slept for a few hours and then ate a little dinner and dozed in and out all night.

Sweet hubby has watched both Juno and 27 dresses with me. Wizard of Oz is on the list for later tonight. He's been so attentive, I just love it. What else could a girl really ask for? I can't wait until he is like this over the fact that I'm pregnant. He's going to be so awesome. All in all, this hasn't been nearly as bad of a process as I had built it up to be in my head. I haven't ever had even a broken bone, let alone a full blown surgery, so I was a little scared. But things are good. I'm not loving the 3 inches of the balloon sticking out of my hoo-ha, but if that's the worst thing then I think I'll live. A few stitches in my belly button which bled a lot last night, but that seems to be fine today.

I hope all is well with everyone else. There seem to be thousands of BFPs lately! Hopefully that can be kept up!!