I feel so terrible.

There, I've said it. I DO feel horrible today. My head weighs a million tons and I could not sleep well the entire night. Even in my dreams, I see Cloisite and surfactants and organoclay nanocomposites. I know I have to do it, and I'm trying my best really. Its just.. not happening according to schedule. I can't break through my barrier at the moment, and to tell the truth, its really disheartening. I can watch the time ticking away slowly, dripping through my fingers and all I can do is to watch. Maybe I should try to be more cheerful and stop thinking so negatively all the time.

Oh well, on a happier note, its new year's eve tonight! Celebration of the inevitable. 2006 will come, whether you are hiding in a corner or out on the beach with hot bikini babes. A great way to start the new year would be to spend it on reports! Good news folks, I'm not bitter, I'm just discontented with the way my life is.

Have I ever expressed my displeasure at guys who two-time? They are on the lowest rank of the hierachy of jerks. I would never understand why girls would put up with people like them who think they can have the best of both worlds. I may not know what love truly means, but I definitely understand what love isn't. God gave you one heart so that you can have only 1 person in your heart. Unless you are an octopus (they have 3 hearts) in disguise, you have no right to be indecisive about who you love. You say you are in love, but your heart is with two people at the same time. Are you really in love? Or are you just in love with the feeling of being in love? To have more than one girl at your side, aren't you just lonesome for company? If so, please don't throw the words "love" and "care" around so frivolously. You are not worthy of it.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
11:46 AM

Whoever came up with this half baked idea of e-learning week in SP should be maimed, shot and have all sorts of terrible things happen to him/her. Okay, well, maybe not too bad, considering that I do not have to go through this torture if my computer was still available at home. But holy shit, e-learning week in school is a bloody nightmare. The entire level 4A is filled to the brim with students, crammed like sardines. I've booked a nice little study corner for myself and I have to wait 10 minutes for the illegal occupants inside to get out so that I can start my assignments. Oh, have I mentioned the noise? Even with my headphones on, I can hear the mindless chatter outside my little corner. And above everything, the god damn blackboard is so. very. superbly. utterly. extremely SLOW.

Don't get me wrong, I love IT, but more consideration should have been given before executing such an interesting idea. Just spoils the fun! Boooo!!!

Stuff done: CSW
Stuff not done: QAS, MTB, Pharma, Corrosion, Plant Design, FYP (-.-)

I am really feeling really bad now.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
12:44 PM

I consider myself a pretty even-tempered person. I'm quick to anger but I do not bear grudges unless it is really something that I consider unforgivable. Needless to say, I have been through my share of outbursts but never have I known cold fury until today.

Perhaps it is the circumstances of the night before that had led to my terrible temperament this morning. Afterall, crying myself to sleep thanks to my insensitive prick of a so-called boyfriend isn't something that happens on a regular basis. Even as I am typing this, I can feel the heat radiating outwards from my fingertips. It seems like nothing is going right this week and considering the number of negative postings I have, why isn't it a surprise to me.

The term which I used earlier, cold fury, is in my opinion a state of mind beyond anger. Where something just goes "ping" in your mind. It is calm and quiet, but there is a difference in the atmosphere around you. (Think sha qi or sakki in japanese) Nothing is thrown, no words are exchanged, things seem normal. It could probably be described too as "the calm before the storm". Perhaps some of you are familiar with it. Its a lot like a mental breakdown to me, but there is no crying (or maybe I just don't have the tears to shed anymore).

I used to think that girls who broke up with guys during NS are bitches who don't know the meaning of commitment. While that may be true for a portion of these people, I would like to extend my apologies to those whom I have maligned. It may be difficult for the poor sod in National Slavery but it is equally bad for their female counterparts. First, you get lonely and lost, then you start to look forward to phone calls and weekends. When they finally come round the corner, they are too bloody tired to do anything with you. Your plans go out of the windows as their plans now become a priority since they are the ones confined. You constantly try to understand their needs and subject yourself to their whims. After the weekend, all you feel is a sense of incompletion as they head back to the hell hole and you, to yours. Now, after 2 months, that sense of incompletion becomes worse and worse. Thats when infidelity steps in to weed out the girls who can't take the test. Those who pass with flying colours are subjected to more shit, and life goes on.

It can't be helped since the guys are practically forced into NS. I used to emphatize with them when the girls leave them, but even after that, the guys are frankly clueless about what you did wrong. However, there are more than 1 way to show concern and appreciation. Just because you kena tekan by the sergeant every day doesn't mean that your life is harder. Your girl is also having a terrible time, balancing her life and keeping it in sync with yours. The very least you can do is to show some bloody appreciation for what they do. Let me tell you this, girls need support. They need people to show that they care. Especially the one whom they love. Girls are always like that, keep them feeling secure and they won't stray. You don't need fancy dinner plans or expensive perfume gifts, although these may work in the beginning. Telling them that you love them and appreciate what they do can work wonders too. Listening to them and their problems and giving some advice or insight is great. Maybe we need case studies.

The above are fabricated by yours truly and are extreme cases. For you guys out there who actually did this and miraculously, your gfs didn't dump you.. Treasure her, for she may be the only one in this world who can stand you. Those who did this regularly and got dumped, condolences, my deepest sympathy, please don't commit suicide but this is why.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
10:15 AM

FYP - A term that will strike fear into any student's heart. Those three dreadful words mean a whole world of difference between freedom and imprisonment. Thinking back, it has been quite a while since we started and I am glad to announce that I have learnt many things yet understood only 10% at most of what I have learnt. I shall not deny the sad truth that the report is due next week and while I remain optimistic on the surface, I am actually pressing the panic button repeatedly. So much work, so little time, so much to understand, so little info available. Deadline: 3rd Jan 2005. Countdown: 14 days. I have signed my death warrant.

On a happier note, I have a two week break now! And what could be better than doing assignments every day and having no computer for 2 weeks? Thats right, going to school just to leech the wireless for my assignments! Come to think about it, this isn't any happier than the previous paragraph. I think I am becoming more and more depressed.

I suddenly have my inspiration for my fiction, but now I have a new problem: too much details. You may think its a good thing, but it just makes it harder for me to sequence the events and stuff. Oh, as for a sneak preview, it contains *incest*, *gore*, *psychotic killers* and *magic*. hah.

To end this entry: Noodle, you are a PAEDOPHILE!!! hahahahahaahaha

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
11:12 AM

Thanks to my hectic schedule, I have an average of 6 hours of sleep per day. This is definitely NOT looking up. I'm not trying to think negatively, but I am so afraid of loosing my grasp on reality. I'm tempted to escape, tempted to just stop everything I'm doing now. But at the same time, I don't want the effort I've put in to go down the drain. Its so obvious, which is right but which is wrong. Its just that.. why must we always do the right thing?

2 tests tomorrow. After sitting through conscientiously for about 30 mins, I realise that I knew so much lesser than I should. My mind keeps drifting off somewhere else. So much, so much to do, yet so little time. Even if I slept 3 hours a day, I have this feeling that I would not even have enough time to complete what I have to do.

*sigh*

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
9:48 PM

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
11:44 PM

***Disclaimer*** The below is purely my personal opinion and should not be in anyway quoted for truth or as factual evidence. If you think my opinion sucks, thank you and have a nice day.

These past few days, there have been several debates about the death sentence of a certain Australian in Singapore for drug trafficking. Since then, many knookies have come out of their closet to protest against this ruling, even though the poor guy is already buried 6 feet under. A certain filehosting website, which I have never heard of in my entire cyberlife, has taken specific measures to ban Singaporeans from the use of their service. Reading the responses from both my Singaporean counterparts as well as the foreigners, I am gratified to see many of them standing up for Singapore and its intentions. Despite the sensitivity of this issue, I feel the need to stand up for my country as well, not particularly out of patriotism, but mostly, because of the ridiculous comments I've read on the internet.

Being a Singaporean and having experienced life outside of Singapore, there is one thing that I appreciate about my country, one of which being the homeland security. I echo the sentiments of many fellow countrymen alike, that it is truly a blessing for a girl to walk on the streets alone late at night, without the fear of robbers, rapists or pickpockets lurking around every other corner. This security is brought about by the dedicated service of our government workers as well as the Singapore Law. Our punishments are harsh, but they have served their purpose by being a deterrent to crime. This is what makes Singapore one of the safest cities in the world.

There are many types of criminals, but those that I personally despise would probably be rapists, paedophiles, terrorists and drug traffickers. These are the people who attack the defenseless. It does not matter whether their motives were derived out of sadistic pleasure or pure necessity, it is the action that they chose to take that puts me off. Having said that, I am fully aware of the fact that there may be exceptions, but just because a certain drug trafficker has to pay the debts for a brother or a sister doesn't mean that they should be treated any differently. How many of these traffickers aren't in similar circumstances anyway? Why is it that this guy is so special? The law is the law, don't bring in drugs, you don't die. Simple as that. If you really had to commit a crime, you could have kidnapped someone and asked for a ransom. Alternatively, you could have robbed a bank or something. (Note: I'm not encouraging crimes, I'm just stating the worse case scenarios) At any one time, a rapist hurts 1 person, a paedophile harms 1 kid, but a drug trafficker can affect the lives of MANY people. Especially this Australian guy who tried to bring in 400 grams of heroin, a dosage enough for thousands of people.

For those who claim that death by long rope hanging is cruel and barbaric, please suggest an alternative method that is less barbaric than that. Death, in itself is a cruel affair. Statistics and research have already shown that death by long rope hanging is both painless and fast. I understand that Australia does not practise capital punishment. Thats cool and all, but this is Singaporean grounds and Singaporean law. It states clearly that drug traffickers will face the death sentence. As a grown up, I believe he is mature enough to make his own decisions and face his own consequences. Some decisions, are one way streets. Sad, but this is life, falter along the path you chose and you may face your untimely death.

I've also seen many people sling dirt at Singapore and Singaporeans on the net just because of this ridiculous issue that should never have escalated to such heights in the first place. I do not necessarily agree with Bush's decision to go to war with Iraq, but that doesn't mean that I hate all Americans because of that. There is a thin line between being disagreeable and being plain childish and immature because someone did not like the final outcome.

In closing, there is always a choice. This affair was blown way out of proportion by the media and certain self righteous people. I guess the biggest lesson anyone has to learn from this is that, not every choice you make has a second chance.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
5:48 PM

In the silence of the night
the dark watches
hungry for company

Its been far too long since I've unleashed my emotions upon cyberspace. I've been trying my best to work hard, motivating myself to cope with my final semester. However, I have to admit, that deep down inside, I am yearning for a release of some sort. A sanctuary where I can laugh, play and go crazy with my friends without the responsibility and burden weighing down on my shoulders. Needless to say, this is probably one of the greatest desire of all struggling students such as myself. It is times like this when nostalgia sets in, and I'm currently trying to salvage the remnants of whatever friendship I had in the past with some special people in my life.

There was a time, where ignorance ruled the mind of those in pursuit of life's fleeting pleasures. Then, I was but a mere girl of 13. Trembling in anticipation, I embarked on my a roller-coaster journey of hell as I arrived at my school of choice. It was an elite school in Singapore, its name shall remain anonymous in respect of the founders, who have taken much pains to see to the success of this establishment. I thought I could adapt to the new environment. It turned out that I was wrong, and life took a turn for the worse from then on. I was an introvert, but people chose to mistake that as arrogance. That was my first lesson in life.

Lesson 1: First impressions are important

I joined the squash team when I was in secondary one. It soon became my passion, my life. I played every single day with friends from other schools whom I knew through competitions. I enjoyed every single moment spent training and playing with my cousin at various squash courts littered throughout Singapore. Outside of school, I was popular, friendly and outgoing. However, it was within my own team in school where I felt outcasted, uneasy and out of place. My skills had improved by leaps and bounds due to my constant practice and my team mates felt threatened by my presence. When I said hi to friends from other schools, it was interpreted as fraternizing with the enemy. It went downhill from there and soon enough, I stopped trying to get along with them, choosing to be a loner among my school mates. I played at the school level, but was "banned" by my coach from playing individual competitions unless "I was going to get the gold medal". Although I had the vice-captaincy under my belt, my interest plummeted from then on and at the end of secondary two, I tendered my resignation from the team, citing exams as a reason.

I remember you, my beloved friends, competitors and teachers from squash. Anderson, SJI, ACSI, NYGH, RGS and TCHS. Thank you, for being part of my life. If fate dictates, we will meet again.

So life goes on, yet it is never a bed of roses for me. I never fitted into the ideals of my class. In secondary one, I was sorted into the first class. Unity was a concept that was absent as it was every girl for herself. Results were the main concern of many of my classmates and I found myself reeling from the changes in this transition from my previous school, where everyone was willing to help each other. In secondary two, my class was the only chinese speaking class. However, I was unable to fit into the model of this class as I was constantly being targetted by the popular gang in the class. Why? Because I knew more males than them. Yes, it was something about the x-y chromosomes that fascinated some girls from single sex schools. I was friends with a bunch of people in the other classes that were party animals. As such, I often went out with them to various outings and events organised by people from other schools. At the same time, I had the misfortune of having a male cousin in the OTHER single sex school. It was no surprise that I was definitely in contact with many males of the same age. This phenomenon is termed as "boy crazy". God forbid that girls have any contact of any form with homosapiens of the opposite sex. Through this ordeal, I have learnt another thing.

Lesson 2: Labels such as "boy crazy" are usually based on unfounded rumours and all it takes is a bunch of hypocritical people to ruin your secondary school experience.

Naturally, I did not take too well with all these rumours flying left, right and centre about me. A simple thing like having lunch with someone of the opposite sex could be twisted into an elaborate tale about how I had coerced said boy into my web and was now in the process of devouring him, head first and all. I chose to ignore these groundless accusations and continued to play, lunch and have fun with my cousin and my other friends. Its just words right? Bad decision. The rumour mill went out of control and soon I found myself in the depths of various scandals skillfully woven out of the foundations laid down by their predecessors.

Lesson 3: Rumours are vicious. Words can do irreparable damage to the innocence of a girl.

Surviving secondary two was an ordeal. I hated school because everyday, I had to face the scornful faces and scorching words of these people. What did I do to deserve them? For many years, I thought it was my fault. But now I know better. Its jealousy at work. Envy, for what they don't have and can't get. Nevertheless, I still had people who believed in me.

This is a tribute to you, my friends. Thank you EePing, Julia/Joyce, Tricia, Kaixin, Jacqueline, Kahyee, Ruth and Germaine. Even now when I read your letters of encouragement to me, I feel the same warmth that I did back in those days.

So I was promoted to sec three by the skin of my teeth, thanks to the homework that my friends allowed me to copy. *teehee* As fate would have it, things did not get better. What I had experienced left me with various insecurities about myself. It was a good thing that I had my own click of the nicest, cutest and loveliest people in my life. Even though I sort of failed them in the end by quitting school, I still love them very much. To cut a long story short, during sec 3 and 4, I was engaged in various activities, ranging from DDR and Counterstrike. I tried hard to pass A Maths, yet nothing I did worked. I sunk into a depression and as a result, I no longer took an interest in school and constantly played truant throughout the school term. I failed my subjects, got into trouble with teachers. These are things that I'm not proud about but going through this brought me new insight into my life. I left school at the beginning of secondary four as I was told that I would not be able to take the O levels due to a prolong absence from school ( I was hospitalized for depression).

True friends that stood by me all these two years, Ping, Choon, Angeline, Ellince, Cheryl and Jiawen. Thanks for all your support. I'm glad that the world has angels such as yourselves.

Gaming, perhaps one of the most heartbreaking and memorable experiences of my life that I would never trade for anything else in the world. Escapism from school took its form in the place of cybergaming. Counterstrike was addictive and knowing that I was able to be good in a male dominated arena was extra credit to myself. I found myself acquainted with my first clan, Icy where I met some of my greatest friends that I still keep in contact with now. They taught me the ropes, brought me lots of joy and laughter. It was with regret as I left the clan due to some problems brought upon by 2 girls who could only be described as the epitome of all things bitchy. These 2 girls defined the term "bitch" in every aspect and every angle. I mingled around, and joined the girls squad, La Femme of Elements clan. We took part in various competitions and kicked lots of ass. Someone had the idea of alliancing all the girls, and thus, I found myself in an all star, all girls squad, Athena's Advocate. Even though most of us were the best of friends, we went our separate ways due to the lack of commitment and were split up into different clans. Nevertheless, our relationship was strong due to our unity against all things bitchy (refer to above 2 girls) and our bonding with each other in game. Competitions were played, both against guys and against females. My crowning achievements in this field included winning the SAF competition together with a few of the razor people, the Female Clash of the Titans with my beautiful companions and the World Cyber Games in Day of Defeat.

I love you all, even though we come from all walks of life, you were there for me when I was sad, cried when I cried, laughed when I laughed. I could always count on you to lend me a shoulder to cry on or offer me a used tissue to blow my nose. Thank you for touching my life.

Lesson 4: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If you look life in the eye instead of escaping from it, you will find that you are not alone and there will always be people willing to hold your hand when you are lost.

Now here I stand, as a poly student. I never expected to do well, yet I am happy with what I have achieved. Looking back at year 1, I was afraid of school. What if it turns out like secondary school? I was afraid, yet I took the step. I knew what I had to do and I was glad that I did it. However, certain perspections and fears are still predominant in the way I think. The pain may be gone, but the scars remain. Each and every scar upon my life has a story to tell and a lesson to be learnt. Each and every scar is a reminder of what makes me unique and what makes me the way I am. And this, I would never change for anything in the world, come what may.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
12:38 AM

After a long absence, I've finally come back to planet vanderia.

It has been two weeks since school started, but I'm already feeling the pressure (Pressure = Force/Area). Its a strange feeling, that I'm so near the completion of my polytechnic career. It feels as though you could almost touch the sky. If things go according to plan, I'm looking forward to getting that diploma and moving towards a new study environment, hopefully with some of my best loved friends.

Various universities have already arranged for talks in the upcoming week. Competition is stiff, and everyone in Singapore, JC and Polytechnic alike, will be vying for those few spots, hoping to add one more school into their future resumes. The paper chase is essentially, one of the most important aspect of our lives. Sometimes I feel that everything in our life is so structured. Studying for 20 years of your life, then slogging it out for another 30 years of your life, and then living off respirators for the last 20 years of your life in dettol smelling hospital beds.

A lecturer remarked today, that there is a difference between studying and learning. Personally, I don't think that school leaves us with any choice between two. For learning to take place, one must first possess the desire to learn and a conducive environment. With all the neverending deadlines, expectation by the society and our families to do well, students nowadays are faced with a lot more stress than they are supposed to handle. Stress, is the major factor in affecting our desire to learn, creating a hostile environment, one which many would call a "dog eat dog" world.

My lecturer also said, grades aren't important in learning and that many students nowadays only care about studying. After all thats been said and done, grades still matter in Singapore, to a large extent. To get into a University, students either have to have good grades or have truckloads of money. For the poor people like us, what other choice is there, other than to study hard, study smart, all for the benefits of getting good grades so that we may continue on our structured journey through life?

You may think I'm bitter, but this is from what I've experienced in life thus far. Life is a box of chocolates, open it and you will find that most of them are rotten. I have friends who worry about results all the time, so much so that it becomes an obsession. Truthfully, I do have that kind of mentality once in a while, but I don't want to be remembered as that type of person. I am a radical, a non-conformist. The paper doesn't matter at the end of the day, because I would be just another one of the many who have the same qualifications. Ultimately, you are only accountable to one person, and that is yourself.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
12:37 AM

Having slept at 3am the previous night, it would be easy to guess how I look like right now. (Hint: They live in China and eat bamboo shoots all day long) Nonetheless, I was thinking about an incident that happened last night and suddenly, I had flashbacks of my EIC class. I was just basically analysing my feelings to another person's actions. To cut to the chase, this is basically what happened:

It was a fine evening as I met my dear hubby at Westmall for dinner. It was crowded everywhere due to the dinner time crowd, thus we decided to eat at Delifrance. After dinner, being the cheapskates that we are, we proceeded to the supermarket to get a drink. I had to stand in line just for 2 bottles of water, behind all the aunties and uncles who were buying truckload of supplies as if there is a hurricane on its way to Singapore. Well, can't be helped, weeknight grocery shopping is a hobby for us Singaporeans who never get enough to eat.

There was a couple in front of me, the man was probably middle age or older, tall, skinny, with a scholarly look. If it wasn't for the sneer upon his face as he commanded the cashier to bag his groceries, he could have passed off as a potential political candidate. (Maybe he is) Now, being the eco-friendly kind of person I am, I can't stand excessive wastage. What irked me the most about this man was that he had placed every single item individually into a clear plastic bag that you can obtain from the fruit/veg section. I understand the need to bag chilled food or raw food, but washing detergent? instant noodles? So fine, I concluded that he is weird, but thats not the end of it. The man then ordered (I said ordered because I certainly did not hear any "please" in his statements) the casher to double bag the groceries. (In case you are not sure, double bagging is the practice of using 2 plasticbags for 1 item. It is usually used if the items are heavy to prevent the plastic bag from breaking.) I'm sure he isn't walking home, so why is there a need to double bag items that aren't even that heavy? Afterall, you are just going to put it into a car and drive off into the sunset, emitting more pollutants into the atmosphere. It was finally over as I saw the total price of the groceries: $35.90. The man gave her a card where you can get a $5 voucher or something if you collect 10 stamps on the card. This was how the conversation went:

Man: *Gives card*(The card needs only 2 more stamps to be completed, but with the amount of money spent, he is entitled to 3 stamps. However, the promotion is being phased out, so they are not giving out cards anymore. You are still entitled to collect stamps and your reward if you still have existing cards.)
Cashier: Sorry sir, I can give you the voucher for this card, but because our promotion is over, we won't be giving out anymore cards. And that would be $35.90.
Man: So you are not giving me a card.
Cashier: The promotion period is over so we don't have anymore cards.
Man: So what about my stamps.*Man's wife/daughter takes out her wallet to pay*
Man: I want a big bag *uses his hand to tap forcefully on the plastic bags located right in front of the casher*
Cashier: *Takes out another packet of bigger plastic bags since the current customer has so graciously used up what was left*
Man: I want a big bag! *repeats same action*
Cashier: *Hurriedly tries to rip open the packaging and gives 1 bag to the man*
Man: *grabs bag and proceeds to triple bag his groceries.

Finally! Its my turn! At this point of time, I felt so bad for the cashier and so angry at the guy. But no, thats not the end! As the cashier was checking out my stuff, the guy came over again and asked for another bag cuz the previous one was torn. Torn as in a miniscular tear at the top of the bag, not anywhere near the handles and would definitely not compromise the quality nor the function of the bag. Then he asked for a card AGAIN! Geez, don't you understand english? His companion just went "forget it" and pulled him away. The entire fiasco took 10 minutes, and $35.90 worth of groceries is not a lot. He did not even thank the cashier for all her trouble.

AND they complain that Singapore has crappy service attitude. With unreasonable customers like these, where do people in this industry get their motivation from? Service staff may be there to help you with whatever you need, but they are not beneath you in social status. They are not your servants nor your slaves, so don't treat them as if they are just dirt underneath your shoes. Its true, money can buy you almost everything these days, but I guess there are a few things that money can't buy, example of which being respect and graciousness. The sad thing is, people usually are unable to differentiate between fear and respect. A man walks into an office one day and as per normal, his subordinates will greet him wherever he goes. But is it out of respect that they greet their boss, or is it because they are afraid of offending their boss?

As a final question before I leave you to your thoughts, when was the last time that you thanked the cleaner at the foodcourt for clearing your plates?

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
12:35 AM

Shopping at Orchard Road

After what seems like 10 years, vanderia has stepped into Orchard Road yet again. The self proclaimed queen of Orchard Road few years ago have now been reduced to a simpering newbie, lost in the mass of people trampling around in their Gucci pumps and Prada heels.

I met up with Kexin and her friends, Samantha and Jan before we started off on our shopping adventure. Kexin is a model magnet I swear, as long as she steps into Orchard, she gets scouted by some funny modelling agency. Anyway, we headed to Far East, straight for the shoeshop. After shopping for some time, Samantha got herself some very nice black shoes and I got Michael a nice white t-shirt. After which, we went to Long John Silver and as usual, I fell for their stupid marketing tactics AGAIN. Feel like screaming everytime they do that. Regular is not equals to Medium size! And if I have to pay extra for Lemon Tea, SAY SO! Whats wrong with saying "Would you like to pay 50cents more for ice tea?" instead of "What drink would you like, ice tea, coke or sprite?" I don't mind paying more, but at least let me spend my money happily!

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
12:34 AM

Authoress Note: This is the first fiction that I've published on a online site. The plot and characters in this fiction are inspired by the literature that I have read throughout the years. The reason why I would rather put this in a small unknown corner of the internet instead of on a fiction website is mainly because I have read many fanfictions and found many of them to be fairly mediocre at best. Since I'm not an aspiring writer, nor am I a proficient english speaker, my pride would not allow me to disgrace myself this way.

If you happened to stumble upon this little corner of mine, congratulations, you are probably one of the very few individuals to land on planet vanderia. I thank you for your interest and would appreciate any constructive critism. Without further ado, I present my new fiction: Bloodlines.

Bloodlines

Chapter One: Knowledge of Arcana

The footsteps behind her quickened as she manuvered her way through the labyrinth. Acutely aware of her desperate need for air, she pressed on, her mind frantically searching for an escape route.

"Oh god, if you are up there, send me a sign! Anything!" she mused.

A loud cough to her right caused her to halt abruptly. Filled with a renewed sense of dread, she squinted at the faint outline standing at what looked like an exit to this infinite maze. Taking cover behind the neatly trimmed hedges, she held her breath and crept over slowly towards it. All of a sudden, a heavy hand landed heavily on her shoulder...

"Arghhh!" she screamed, tackling her would-be attacker with a punch that would have made Bruce Lee proud.

"Ouch! Bloody hell, Kaylen," a familiar voice rang out, "What in the world was that for?"

Kaylen woke up with a jolt, her brain still trying to catch up with the series of events. She shielded her eyes from the ray of sunlight bursting happily through the open window.

"Who the hell are... Oh, its just you Collin. Did you get up this early in the morning to clean my floor? How nice of you, but you shouldn't have."

Collin winced in pain as he gently massaged his sore shoulder. "Don't mention it," Collin complained. "I'm glad to see that you have your wits and your sarcasm intact this early in the morning."

Kaylen was about to deliver another cutting remark when she noticed her brother's disheveled appearance and darkened half moons underneath his eyes. "Sorry about that bro, but if you don't mind me saying, you look like hell. As a word of advice, fix that before Aunt Andais gets home or she will fix you." Kaylen then yawned and said, "Now if you would excuse me for not helping you up, my head is currently in pain and has specifically told me to get more rest." With that, she flopped back onto the bed, burying her face under her pillow.

"Alright, ten seconds for you to explain why were you screaming the house down," Collin ordered, as he whipped the pillow away from her clutches.

"Mmm-mhmmm," came her muffled reply.

"I can't hear you!"

"I said bad dream, you insufferable git of a brother!" Kaylen screamed. Now thoroughly awake, Kaylen stormed over to her dresser and began yanking a brush through her thick mass of red curls.

"Number one, quit abusing your hair unless you want to become bald before you hit your thirties. And number two, do you mind telling your dear brother why are you having these nightmares so frequently?" Collin asked as he made himself comfortable on her bed.

"Hell if I know, it has been like this since I turned 20 last week," Kaylen grumbled.

"20 you say? Ah well, can't escape the curse after all. Looks like you have it too," Collin chortled.

"Have what? Your pathetic sense of humour?"

"Did you watch David Blaine last night? It was cool right? Now what if I tell you that I'm cooler than David Blaine?" Collin said, as he fixed his gaze upon the silver hair brush Kaylen was holding and leviated it high up in the air, allowing it to hover vertically over Kaylen's head.

"Haha, very funny. Now, where's the string?" Kaylen asked in disbelief.

Collin smacked his forehead and with a flick of his finger, he dropped the hair brush on top of Kaylen's head.

"I'm serious you stupid idiot. Your life, our lives are in grave danger because of our abilities."

"Okay," Kaylen said, "You have ten minutes to explain before my sanity timer runs out. Go on, I'm all ears."

"Right," Collin rolled his eyes as he continued, "Listen, our family is part of an ancient bloodline that dates back to the times when magic ran freely in the veins of the people. We are one of the last remaining families who still retain the ability to do magic because of the purity of our bloodline and the precautions which our ancestors took to preserve the potency of our magical ability."

"This magic you're talking about," Kaylen raised an eyebrow, " You mean the David Blaine type or the Harry Potter type?"

Resisting the urge to kick his sister in the head, Collin replied, "The Harry Potter type. Now you listen carefully. I don't know how strong your powers are, or even what you are capable of doing. Aunt Andais told me that our magic is affected by our emotions, so I'm sure you know what that means. Don't let your emotions out of control, especially when you are in public. Run if you need to."

"So, what does this have anything to do with my nightmares?" Kaylen piqued.

"You're asking something which I don't have an answer for. Mine started on my twentieth birthday too and it has never ceased, even until now."

"What! Does that mean I have to live with the stupid dream of some half crazed monkey chasing me through a stupid excuse for a maze for the rest of my life?" Kaylen exclaimed.

Collin grinned, "'fraid so, little sister. Just another warning, don't let anyone know that you have these powers. We have some pretty powerful enemies that would love nothing more than having the blood of our ancient bloodline stained on their grubby hands."

With that, Collin sauntered out of the door, leaving a very bemused Kaylen behind in her own thoughts.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
12:30 AM

News Headlines: Failure of birth control device leads to the birth of yet another new blog

Curiosity for the unknown has led another youth into the realms of cyber blogging. As one of the few million people in this world that hasn't experienced the joys and trepidations of online webjournals, the authoress claims that it was a combination of morbid curiosity and boredom that helped her to arrive at such a decision.

"I just wanted a space that I could call my own, even if its just virtual reality," says the authoress.

When asked about her plans for this new virtual home, the authoress replied that this blog shall not only be a place for her daily ramblings, but also a place where she can polish her english writing skills as well as work out her personal goals.

It is her hope that this blog will last for more than 3 entries, unlike the other one which has disappeared into oblivion 5 years ago.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
12:21 AM