Have you ever been trying to do something good, but worries or what ifs discourage you?

I think that's pretty normal, but I just wanted to share my latest demon.

Harriet Oleson from Little House on the Prarie.

She wasn't a bad lady, but I never really liked her character on the show. I think the worst thing she ever did was spoil her Nancy doll like crazy.



As a result, Nancy was a super brat and mean little girl. Also note Nancy was adopted and the youngest.

So yeah, these images are my current demons. What if adopting a little girl will turn me into Harriet Oleson and somehow my little angel will turn into Nancy.

I promise I won't look the other way when she does bad things. And I for sure promise I will NEVER put a bow like that in her hair. Ever. Even if she wants one.

One of the on going juggles in marriage is the balance of stuff to do. I do this, you do that. But that's not working so lets switch. I'm struggling with this, so can you do that for a while? You're better at it, but you hate it, so can I do it? You are doing too much, what can I do? Or I think you've done that one too many times, maybe I should take a turn? Everything from dishes, to kids, to errands, to work.

Well, Mike is super busy lately. So I've been walking the dogs in the morning. This has been his job for a long time, and I wasn't all that excited about taking it over, but I knew he needed a break. Leashes, cold air, dog slobber, and the possible run in with coyotes.

But you know what? I love it. I wake up, get ready to go and escape just as the boys are starting to wake-up. As I get back, Mike's got the "get ready for school" ball rolling and I jump in. Mike gets an extra 1/2 hour of sleep and is happier for it.

But, the best part? I go down my back stairs, out the gate, to this:


No noise, except the chirping of birds and an occasional rooster. No stinky feet, just the smell of dew on the grass and flowers. No interruptions. No specific path to take. No pressing deadline. No whining or crying. It's just me and my two obedient, loyal friends. We take in the sunrise. Say hello to the neighbor's horse. Watch the rabbits run through the bushes. (Lucy's favorite) And marvel at the violet flowers blanketing the hillside this time of year.


It's dreamy. And a great way to start the day. No need for leashes.

Yesterday was quite an amazing day.

First and perhaps the most amazing, we got paid from Medicare. This was a very fat check--it covered all the patients that Mike saw in 2010. Yes, it was pretty awesome. And it also means that we will be getting paid shortly for 2011 thus far, and that we will continue to get paid for the rest of the year--monkey wrenches excluded.

The next great thing was we found out how much we were getting for our tax return. And it was even fatter than the medicare check, since we could claim all of our double adoption credit. (law changed in 2010, it no longer needs to be spread over 5 years) Mike thought it might be a typo, but after talking to the CPA, it is indeed real. Still wrapping my head around that one.

And finally, we met with Diane, the initial social worker and screener for Olive Crest. We passed, things went very well. We should be "paper pregnant" (or licensed and certifed, ready and waiting) by this summer. She also told us it was possible or even likely we could have a baby girl placed with us this summer!!

Had a hard time sleeping last night. It was just an amazing day.

And now, I get to brainstorm and dream up a little girl room. Sigh. SO FUN!! And I have the best excuse. Getting the room ready is part of the licensing check off. Stay tuned for pics!

Not to mention we might make a dent on that list of expensive house projects!

Life is good.

P.S. At Costco today, I bought this.

I see something like this:



in my house.

Yep, as I was making dinner I noticed this little creature out of the corner of my eye. He had crawled his way all the way up the screen looking for an out and never found one. He clearly did not get "in" on his own or by his choice.

Nope, quite confident he had "help" with that.

Years ago this site would have freaked me out. Might have even angered me. But I'm wiser than that now. I'm grateful he's not smashed or dead. (I say he, but Luke would know for sure.) I'm grateful I don't have to catch him and set him free--I've got many willing to lend me a hand with that. But mostly, I'm grateful for lizards period. They are a harmless source of adventure and outside entertainment for my growing noisemakers.

A wise man once told me he was pretty sure all little creatures (lizards, frogs, bugs, etc.) were created with little boys in mind. Thanks for that thought. Too true.

My birthday is coming up. I'll be 36. It's not a big birthday, not even a big deal. But I've been thinking about it.

When you're little, you hope simple things for your birthday--cake, ice cream, party/games/outing/meal with friends and/or family, and some cool gifts--maybe something you've really wanted for a while and/or somefun surprises. A happy birthday is a simple thing.

When you get older, it seems more complicated. You start to want other people to be happy on your birthday. You worry about how much your birthday will cost and is it really worth that. You realize other people will be sacrificing for your birthday and wonder if they are doing that out of obligation or guilt or because they really want to. Then there's people who just look for a party and any excuse to have one, do you want to spend your birthday with them? It seems like you should be afforded a little selfishness on your birthday, but you're a grown-up, you don't do that anymore and it's awkward for you.

Then there's the gifts. Let's be real, most moms have a list (writen or unwriten) of things they would love to have, but they are putting them off for more important/demanding/pressing things. So when people ask what you want, do you tell them? Probably not. (see previous paragraph) Are you happy with any of the gifts you get? Maybe. Some are no brainers like gift cards to your favorite places. Some are adorable--from the kids. Some are funny or silly and make you laugh. Some of your friends nail it--and you realize just how lucky you are. Some are "what were you thinking?!" Then there's also the gift(s) from your husband. The one person who probably does know you best, but doesn't always use that knowledge to the best of his ability when he is shopping/surfing Amazon. Does he get me something off my mental wish list? What about the list of ideas I actually write for him? You love him, you do. Gift are just complicated.

Then what do you do with the gifts you don't really want or won't really use? Return them? Don't want to hurt feelings. How long do you hang on to them? How do you show appreciation, but still maintain your own identity and sanity? How much of a selfish, ungrateful jerk do you feel as you consider this?

Augh! Just imagine if birthdays growing up weren't happy. Even worse.

I get it now. This is why people hate getting old and don't like their birthdays anymore.

I've got to come up with a plan for a happy birthday this year. I deserve a happy birthday. I do.

I was choking the other day about how much time, energy and money I spend on food. I hardly even like food anymore. It's just a necessary evil, it's almost like laundry to me. Just got to do it and more often than I would like. And just when it seems like everyone should be full, they're not.


Well this morning, Mike measured everyone. Something he does from time to time. It was amazing and ridiculous. We've lived in our house for a year now and have marked the wall every couple months.



Since we have lived here? Luke--4.5 inches, Aaron--4.25 and Owen--4 inches!! That's over a foot of growing on one year. No wonder I feel like I run a soup kitchen. At least I know the food is going to a very good cause. There's a reason for the feeding frenzy,

I saw this at Costco the other day. Took a picture so I could show Mike. Maybe he'd agree to the purchase. I think it would be perfect for our back yard courtyard area. I can see the boys roasting hot dogs and marshmallows now.


Then I thought about it more. Maybe the business should buy it. We need to destroy a lot of documents. Normal people use a shredder, but since the boys are all pyros, we use the fireplace. I don't want to start a fire in the house during the summer months. . .

Do you think Uncle Sam would go for a fire pit instead of a shredder?

Forgiveness is easier than permission?

And the winner is . . .

Contact me and we can figure out a drop off! Sorry for the delay, I was hoping to be able to announce if they made the first cut or not, but Rolling Stones won't announce the winner until March 16th. So pretty much I can't either. Bummer.

The band just left on tour and is hitting some new spots--lots in Texas. Check them out--they don't disappoint!

I need to find out if Joey will share his secret recipe--he might for special people willing to take an oath or something. I'll find out. ( =

Ends tomorrow! Click here to enter.