The Varner Family

I had never heard of an acoustic neuroma before June 24, 2014.  Earlier that morning I had a brain MRI and by lunchtime our friend Dr. L'Hommedieu called to let me know they had found an acoustic neuroma on the right side of my brain..  An acoustic neuroma is a rare benign brain tumor of the balance and hearing nerves.   Typically the first sign of this type of tumor is a gradual loss of hearing. But that was not true in my case.

The first time I noticed anything being "off" was at the beginning of June 2014.  One Sunday morning I was walking through the halls of church and suddenly felt very dizzy and off balance.  I had been having some sinus issues and I figured it was related.  I was helping with a wedding shower that afternoon and I went to urgent care as soon as it was finished.  Sure enough I had a sinus infection.  They put me on antibiotics and although I might have felt some better it didn't help completely.  During the next week or so I continued to have a lot of pressure in my ear, dizzy spells, and sinus pressure.  We were about to leave for vacation to Colorado Springs so I went to my Primary Care Doctor and got another prescription and steroids.  The next morning we flew to Colorado.  During the next four days I struggled with headaches in my eye, dizziness, nausea, and ear pressure.  I assumed it was all of the medicine and the altitude making me feel blah.  As we headed to the airport to fly back home I was completely miserable.  I remember calling poison control at one point because I thought for sure some of the medicine I had taken must have not interacted well together.  I was sick to my stomach and really out of sorts.  At one point after making it through security I almost passed out.  I managed to make it onto the airplane and I was so happy to be home.  Over the next five days I felt a little better.  One day I would feel pretty good and the next day I wouldn't.  Finally on June 23rd I woke up at 5:30 in the morning with a headache in my eye like nothing I have ever felt before.  I laid in the bathroom floor shaking and thinking I was going to throw up.  I eventually made it back to bed and laid there unable to open my eyes and I thought I must be having a brain aneurysm.  I knew something was definitely wrong.  Bryson was headed to the Texas Panhandle for work so Brody took over and called Bryson's mom to come help.  My grandmother took me to Urgent Care where our friend was working and he recommended a MRI.

After receiving the diagnosis I spent the next couple of months seeing numerous neurosurgeons, otolaryngologists, and oncologists.  The unique thing about my tumor is there are multiple treatment options and for the most part the patient has to decide what they think is best for them.  The good thing for me is that my tumor was small and they are typically slow growing.  So I had the benefit of having time to decide.  At the time my symptoms were pretty severe.  I had ringing in my ears, it was difficult for me to walk, and I had regular headaches.  I wanted to receive treatment soon just so I would feel better.  Most of the doctors recommended a one time dose of extremely strong targeted radiation.  This was the least invasive but I never felt comfortable receiving brain radiation even if it did seem like the "easy" way out.  The easy way is not always the best way in my opinion.  They only had research for 15 years post radiation and since I am on the younger side this didn't seem like the best option.  Finally I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Mickey in Dallas.  My mother-in-law had heard about him from her boss who had a friend that had the same tumor as me and said he was fantastic.  So at the end of August Bryson and I went to Dallas and saw Dr. Mickey and Dr. Kutz (the otolaryngologist) and I knew as soon as I met them that they were my doctors.  Most of the doctors who I met in Oklahoma had only treated a few of these type of tumors.  Dr. Mickey and Dr. Kutz had treated over 500 of them.  I loved their demeanor and they weren't arrogant like most surgeons I had met.  They both thought I was too young for radiation but they did think I was a candidate to just watch it and wait.  That meant I would just have regular MRI's to monitor the tumor's growth and if it showed signs of growing then I would schedule surgery.  I really wasn't sure if delaying treatment would be possible with my symptoms but they assured me if I would just keep moving that my body would compensate and I would get use to my new normal.  So that is exactly what I did.  I got back to running and I started taking barre and yoga classes.....and they were right, I started to feel pretty good.  It also helped that Dr. Moore, one of my favorite ENT's in Norman, finally figured out a steroid that would help my sinus issues.  Most of the doctors determined that my sinus infections were causing inflammation and putting pressure on the tumor and that is what caused my symptoms to flare-up.  I had a follow-up MRI in December and there was no significant growth.  In January I had an outpatient sinus surgery and that has helped my sinus issues even more.  In April I started to have symptoms again so they recommended another MRI.  We learned that the tumor had in fact grown so they recommended surgery.  I asked if we could wait until the kids started school again so we could enjoy a fun summer together and they said that was fine.

So after months of the surgery feeling like it is forever away it is finally here. So many people have asked me how I feel about it.  I actually feel really good about it and I know so many people have been praying for me and that gives me such a peace.  During Sunday school class this past week the teacher said something that really hit home with me.  He said when we pray and ask God for things like patience, wisdom, etc. he usually will put us in situations where we get strengthen those things.  I realized that a few years ago I specifically started praying for God to help me let go of fear and to trust him more.  I was so tired of wanting to do things in my life but being too crippled by fear and too anxious to do them.  That summer I had a trip to Germany planned to see my friend Katy.  I wanted to go on that trip so bad but the thought of flying and something happening had me so worried.  And that is when I started praying.  I went on that trip and had the best time.  I had always had the desire to teach classes at church.  I wanted to do it so bad but I was so scared of public speaking.  So I continued to pray and slowly I learned to trust him more and not to be so anxious.  I know that this is just another opportunity for me to trust God and to put all of my fear, worry, and anxiety on Him.  And I am so thankful because of the prayers of so many people that I have the "peace that surpasses all understanding" Philippians 4:7

My friend Katy sent me these verses shortly after my diagnosis and they have brought me great comfort.  "Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free.  The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.  What can man do to me?" Psalm 118:5-6.

The surgery is schedule for 7:00 a.m. tomorrow morning and is expected to last about 9 hours.  I greatly appreciate your prayers and if you would like to pray specifically you can pray that there are absolutely no complications, that they will not damage my facial nerve as they try to remove the tumor, that they will be able to remove the entire tumor, and that I will not be nauseous after the surgery. Bryson will post an update on Facebook when the surgery is finished.  Thank you for your love and support!