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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Too busy to scratch my own arse...

Hi all, I'm sorry I still haven't been around blogging or reading.

I've just been so busy still, and will be for quite a long time.

I'm trying to earn as much money as possible to pay for my trip back to Oz for my nephew's wedding at the end of July.  With the ash cloud fiasco, it seems to have stopped prices going down, and a flight to Oz is at £1200 when you can normally get a flight for £600.

Plus the ex still hasn't got a new job, and I have now lost £600 a month in maintenance.

Hence why I am working so bloody hard.

I now have FOUR jobs...and hardly any days off.

My business, the pub, childminding for Bloke (although his ex is back so not so often) and now landscaping.

I spent today digging up plants and moving slates. Mrs P started up her own gardening business at the beginning of the year, so was giving her a hand on a big job.  Funny, six of us were working on it today, only 2 were men.  The painter who was also working got his thrill out of us women working and sweating so hard.

I'm aching all over.

In this time I have managed to socialise, met some drop kicks, met some cuties (unfortunately taken) and been the agony aunt for a few friends, as per usual.

I wish I could go into it all in more detail, but I've really got to go soak my bones then do some paperwork for my business for the clients I have to see tomorrow.

Once again, I apologise for being such a crap blogger. I thought I'd just better let you know I am still alive. 

I'll end on a funny for you...

This afternoon after work, we were all in the beer garden of the pub enjoying a hard earned pint in the rare sunshine.  I had my kids and Bloke's kids with me, they were playing on the swings.

Dill kept complaining Bloke's youngest girl was picking on him.  I just told him to play nicely. 

Then I had the girl yell at me (along with another little girl playing with them) that Dill had pulled his trouser's down in front of them!!

I called Dill over and demanded to know why he did that!!!???

'Because she said I wear girls undie's mum!'

The whole table cracked up.  The poor boy was just showing them he wasn't!

OH!!! I've also just remembered....Mac and Milly became parents again last night.  Their second daughter was born (just 4 days early, first child was 4 weeks early!).  She was just 5lb 4oz, so has to stay in hospital for a little even though everything is ok.  Let's see if rumours start spreading again that Bloke is the father after Milly's affair with him last summer.  He's had the snip, so people close to him know he's not!

Friday, May 07, 2010

Corrie just wont be the same anymore...

Sorry I haven't been around blogging all week, I've been rushed off my feet.  I've just been constantly working, been looking after Bloke's 3 children before and after school, plus it was Pickle's 12th Birthday.  Tonight I have 5 boys sleeping over to celebrate it, so will catch up on blogging then when I hole myself away from them all.

In between all this, I did catch up on some  TV soaps.  I was shocked to find a very popular character of Coronation Street, Blanche, had died in the show.  I realised I hadn't seen her on the show for awhile, so googled to find out the actress Maggie Jones had actually passed away at the age of 75 last December.  I was in Oz then so missed the news. 



She was famous for her very acid tongue put downs.  So I thought I would share some of the classic ones she said. 

• Telling Liz McDonald off for leaving her washing all over the sitting room in Ken Barlow’s house: ‘Kenneth
doesn’t want to stare at thongs all day. The man’s an intellectual!’

• On Liz McDonald: ‘Skirt no bigger than a belt, too much eyeliner, and roots as dark as her soul!’

• As Deirdre rejects the proposal of Ken, who had got down on one knee: 'Well if you leave it much longer he won’t be able to get up again!’

• On men’s fashion: ‘I don’t have any truck with tank tops. They’re unmanly.’

• To Deirdre: ‘Good looks are a curse. You and Ken should count yourselves lucky.’

• To Ken when he spots her watching daytime TV: ‘Don’t worry, it’s only Jeremy Kyle, I’ve more or less been living that show this year.’

• To Steve McDonald: ‘That’s the second fiancĂ©e to chuck that ring away. You’d be better off buying a boomerang!’

• To her daughter, Deirdre Barlow: ‘You need to learn to enjoy other people’s misfortune; otherwise you’re going to have a very unhappy old age.’

• To Norris Cole, who has just denounced speed bumps as ‘ugly and unattractive’: ‘So are you, but at least they have some use.’


• Deirdre: ‘If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.’ Blanche: ‘I think I’ll go home then.’

To Norris Cole, who has just denounced speed bumps as ‘ugly and unattractive’: ‘So are you, but at least they have some use.’


• Deirdre: ‘If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.’ Blanche: ‘I think I’ll go home then.’

• To Emily Bishop, who was reminiscing about their childhood and wishing 'I was three again': 'Oh yes.. rickets, TB, rationing, those were the days.'

Maggie, Corrie won't be the same without you xx

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

You get all walks of life at the Duck...

Sometimes you can see some random/strange people in the pub. This weekend just gone happened to be full of them.  From Friday night with the birthday boy wearing a fake willy, to May day Monday, where 14 Morris Dancers stopped by for an hour or so.

They were performing at the local museum that afternoon.  It seems a bit weird that they were, because it was a World War II themed day.  They were even surprised to be doing the gig there!

Their costumes are great.  It looks like they have flower centerpieces on their head and have bells on their legs.  Majority of them even came into the pub with their own cups!  From Pewter mugs to wooden jugs and even one of them looks like it was made from some sort of animal tusk!

They were a nice bunch of fellows, but I must say, some punters were glad to see them leave, as all we could hear was the jingling of the bells everytime they walked somewhere!

They were kind enough to pose for me...

Grandson and Grandfather I believe. See the tusk-like mug?
No it's not a flower centerpiece, it's a hat!

See!!!!!


You can see the wooden mug and pewter cup here.



These are the guys in action from another performance elsewhere in the country if you don't know what Morris Dancers do!

This is why I like living in the countryside, you get all walks of life.  Oh and we may see some more people coming from far and wide, because The Duck was awarded the title of the 30th best place to eat in the UK countryside (out of top 50) in a well respected national newspaper on Saturday.  That's not just England, that includes Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland!  We are dead chuffed and surprised, as the boss doesn't enter ANY sort of guides/competitions, so somebody obviously nominated us!  This is why you have to book weeks in advance to eat on a Friday or Saturday night.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

I'm a Bloke I'm an Ocker and I really like your Knockers...

Bank holiday weekend and it's bit of a quiet one for me.

I ended up working Friday night in the pub, as Al had a fall leaving the hospital from his treatment, and Sally was delayed at the hospital.  It was an extremely busy shift, especially when 12 guys out on a birthday celebration turned up and the birthday guy put on these joke pants that showed a fake arse in the back and a fake willy in the front, and he was waving it around in front of the diners.  I had to step up and ask him to remove them because he was offending some people.  Luckily my action impressed the diners and left a good tip.

I was at work again Saturday but have the kids all weekend, but my neighbour Bloke stepped in to look after them for me (as I am looking after his after school for the next two weeks as his ex is in America).  When I arrived home, they weren't there, he was at the shops buying dinner for thousands.  Not only did he have my kids and his own, he also had another one, a friend of his eldest.  So he cooked dinner for about nine of us. 

My kids think he's a legend (mainly because he bought them all a tub of ice cream EACH!).

It was a great evening, Bloke cooking, kids playing, me chilling.  Then I said to him that he should change the fridge door around for easier access.  He didn't know this could be done, so had to get his tools out there and then and change them around.  So I spent half the evening propping up the fridge while he was under it.

Bloke and I have always gotten on really well. 

He's a bad boy.

And DAMN I like bad boys.

But he's too much of a bad one.

Like, he had an affair with Milly, our other neighbour last summer.  She's due to drop her second child in 3 weeks.  Rumours are rife that Bloke is the father, but he had the snip a few years ago. 

Plus my best friend Claire fancies him rotten, and has shagged him a couple of times.

Hence why I have never gone there.

There is definitely sexual tension between the two of us, always has been.

And last night it was there big time....

...until his on again off again girlfriend showed up.

As soon as she arrived I went home, leaving my kids behind mind you!

They are still over there, while I have a lazy Sunday morning.

It disturbs me that I have these sexual feelings for Bloke, as I am adamant that nothing is going to happen because I don't want to ruin the friendship we have (or ruin mine with Claire if she knew).  I know he wouldn't care because he's a slut. 

But DAMN it's been nearly a year since I last had sex!

Bloke is definitely the British version of this song.   Don't worry, my little obsession will disappear again, when he behaves like a real twat as he always does!