In medicine, a patient's "chief complaint" is the reason that the patient has decided to seek medical attention,
in the patient's own words. It is usually whatever the patient says in response to, "So, Mr. X, what brings you to the hospital today?"
On night's when I am on call, I will occasionally troll the ER chief complaint list on the computer to see what kinds of patients/medical conditions might be admitted to the Internal Medicine service (my current rotation) that night. Chief complaints like "My chest hurts and I can't breathe" are likely to earn a quick hospital admission. Other complaints are just downright entertaining. Here is a glimpse of what I saw last night in my trolling (none of these got admitted, so I can offer no further explanation/clarification of their complaint)...
Disclaimer: these have in no way been altered. I felt changing the wording (i.e., making them less crude), would take away from their entertainment value. Read on at your own risk...-"I got hit by a broom handle"
-"I have a boil on my butt"
-"I punched a wall and my hand hurts"
-"I got tased by the police"
-"I need you to cut off my finger"
-"My nuts are too big"
-"I fell off a garbage truck"
-"My wife got too frisky and hurt me"
-"I passed gas twice today"
-"My pants keep falling off"
Just a little taste of a Birmingham ER on a Friday night...
