A Whiter Shade of Pale

I've been in Busan for 4 months now and it's been a lot of good fun, but honestly I'm still feeling lonely despite having S with me almost all the time. I guess I still need a lot more time here to meet more like-minded people. S's friends are truly lovely people but finding people who are your friends are more important isn't it?

My korean still doesn't allow me to engage in any meaningful conversation, especially when people speak so fast and in the Busan dialect. I usually only catch on about 30% of what is going on. I can't really add in to the conversation and it takes immense concentration for me to not lose interest in the conversation. I really hope that I can improve my korean a lot more. Now I'm not longer in school, until the next term starts in March. I feel mildly discouraged to know that my ex-classmates are now progressing at a faster pace than I am for taking regular classes at the language school. I'm still learning on my own at home, but to be honest I'm not doing a big deal as I get up at 10 and after doing a page I get distracted by something else. We'll see how this goes...

I really miss my friends in Japan and in Singapore, but at least I'll be heading back to Singapore in less than a week. Yay! We are also going to visit Japan in late January so that should be fun too.

The weather changed so fast. When I arrived in early August, it was sweltering hot. The indoor temperature could be as high as 38degrees. I thought I was going to melt into a puddle, then the weather began to cool and soon it was comfortable autumn weather. The weather is so drastic though, so much more than my experience of living in Japan. The mornings would be freezing in the 10s and then noon would be blazing warm in the 20s. Finally it dropped to single digits in the morning. I never really know how to dress because I'm all wrapped on the way to school and then I would look like an idiot after school sweating in my layers.

Now we are heading into winter and it has been freezing lately. One thing I'm truly thankful for is having proper warm houses. The temperature indoors is usually around 17-22 degrees, whereas in my flimsy wooden house in Japan, sometimes the temperate goes down to 10!!! Or if I go to the bathroom I can even see my breath fog up in front of me. Haha.

Anyway yesterday S showed me a list written by a Japanese person who observed the cultural difference between Koreans and Japanese. It was amusing to see things from the Japanese perspective as well. Many people expect Korean culture to be similar to the Japanese one, but actually it's not. When I first arrived I also suffered huge culture shock and I felt depressed, and shut out. In Korea, it's really important not to stand out. There's a huge mob mentality going on especially in terms of appearances. For example older people in Korea generally dress themselves in outdoor attire, especially of those branded garish colourful hiking clothes even if it was a short pop to the shorts. Every woman above the age of 40 would be sporting this permed hairstyle, it's hard to distinguish Simama from the other middled-aged women. Same for younger women and men. Sometimes I mistake random guys on the street for S because they look so similar! The hairstyle, the glasses, the attire and the bag. It's like living in a country of clones! I miss Japan because it's acceptable to wear basically anything. Individuality is more accepted and no one would bat an eyelid at your outfit even if you're cross-dressing. My mom was just commenting that in Singapore people don't want to wear the same thing as others, but here people want to get something that the other person was wearing in the subway!

When the weather gets cold, I basically isolate myself within the warm and comfortable confines of my apartment. However sometimes when it's a little sunnier I force myself to go out once in a while. So where else to go to, except to mountains in Korea?

나는 지금 부산대학교어학원에서 한국어를 배워요. 한국어가 조금 어려워요. 하지만, 한국어 공부가 재미있어요. 우리반도 재미있어요.

나는 부산 금정구에 살아요. 부산 여름이 아주 더워요. 가끔 밤에 못 자요. 매일 아침에 기분이 안 좋아요.

나는 남자 친구의 가족을 아주 좋아해요. 어머님은 한국요리를 잘 해요. 요리가 진짜 맛있어요. 조금 매워요. 하지만, 어머님은 나의 싱가포르요리를 안 좋아해요. 어머님은 항상 바빠요. 매일 친구를 만나요. 그리고, 어머님과 아버님은 영어를 못 해요. 아버님은 바디랭귀지를 잘해요. 그래서, 나는 아버님의 말하는것을 알아요. 아버님은 야구를 좋아해요. 저녁에는 야구를 봐요.


남자 친구는 대학생이에요. 나이가 나와 같아요. 남자 친구가 멋있어요. 키가 조금 커요. 남자 친구는 자전거를 아주 좋아해요. 그래서, 우리는 자전거를 샀어요. 남자 친구는 맥주도 아주 좋아해요. 우리 냉장고에 항상 맥주가 많아요. 그리고, 주말에 우리는 친구와 술을 많이 마셔요.

나는 한국생활을 좋아해요.

I will first apologise in advance for most of my rantings. I suppose seeing negative stuff is more of a motivation to write than anything else. Anyway... Recently I saw, read and heard some stuff which gave me more jolts of reality telling me that I'm in a different country.

Yesterday I saw something that broke my heart. I was in a rush heading home to drop my stuff off before heading to Costco for some groceries. And on my way home, I saw 2 old ladies at the road junction. 1 was a paper trash collector lugging a huge cart of cardboard pieces and the other was 1 seated comfortably by her window on her second floor. And then the ajumma on the 2nd floor just threw down a box of paper trash onto the road for the the trash collecting ajuma. The wind was strong, so some of the contents were blown away and that poor ajumma had to go through the trouble of picking up the pieces. I just felt so sorry for her, when it's such a shitty low-paying job and you also have to go through having ill-mannered people THROWING THEIR TRASH AT YOU FROM THE 2ND FLOOR AT THE SAME TIME. Is that even acceptable? She was already struggling to walk. I was just wondering how the ajumma sitting on the 2nd floor could have just dumped something at someone, instead of walking down to give it to her nicely. Isn't this a universally-accepted right thing to do? That gesture of hers seemed rather condescending towards the trash collecting ajumma, so I was pretty horrified at that scene. I don't think she did it out of meanness, but simply out of laziness and ignorance. Perhaps she was just an exception in Korean society. Perhaps I'm too used to Japanese manners and etiquette, I really do expect a lot more from people, but I seem to be disappointed all the time.


Similarly in South Korea, in contrast with the Japanese who would always say "Sumimasen" (excuse me) whenever they want to pass or something. It's a rarity to hear the korean equivalent here. Most people just push through. People don't have that much of personal space in South Korea, and personal space is non-existent in China.

On a funnier note, S read to me the news about 3 ajummas getting arrested for stealing chestnuts in a farm. I found that really hilarious because I can totally imagine this situation. In fact once in a while, I can see the local ajummas trying to steal some grapes overhanging from the neighbour's fence. They poke at it with their umbrellas hoping to break the branches. I wonder if they succeeded. But anyway the ajumma culture is something truly fascinating in South Korea. I believe that because they think that they are now middled-aged, experienced ajummas, they can do whatever they want and get away with it. In some ways, that's very similar to the aunties in Singapore as well.


Just a kind disclaimer here because my post is definitely not meant to cause offence because the people I've met have been so nice and considerate. From my very limited experience so far, it just seems like when you're stranger to someone, people's general treatment of you is usually of a lower standard than in the Japan. Yet on the other hand, in Japan, people might even treat strangers nicer than their family members, so it's on either extremes! So please bear with some of my personal musings from time to time.

나는 싱가포르 사람입니다. 우리나라는 날씨가 덥습니다. 매일 날씨가 맑습니다. 그래서, 나무 와 꽃이 많습니다. 우리나라 아주 예쁩니다.

하지만, 우리나라는 아주 작습니다. 싱가포르는 인구가 적습니다. 그리고, 우리나라남자가 안 멋있습니다.여자가 예쁩니다.

싱가포르 음식이 유명합니다. 싱가포르 칠리 크랩(게), 하이난 치킨 라이스, 락사가 아주 맛있습니다. 싱가포르 음식이 조금 맵지만 싱가포르사람는 잘먹습니다.  그리고, 타이거 맥주가 있습니다. 하지만, 진짜 맛없습니다. 우리나라는 술이 아주 비쌉니다. 1파인트(570ml)는 11미국달러입니다.

I apologise, because this blog seems to be abandoned for a long time. I've finally decided to pop back to rejuvenate this blog properly. I hope that I can keep to my promise.

Lots of things have changed. I've since moved to Busan, South Korea. I've been here for close to 2 months now and I still feel culture shock strongly once in a while. It's challenging to live here, but perhaps it's too early to tell right now. I'll give it more time.

So now I'm a student of the korean language and it's really interesting so far. I enjoy learning new languages, but my grasp of it is still so rudimentary, I can't have any form of decent conversation with a local. As such, I'm pretty much friendless in my city. My classmates are all well and good, but most of them are Chinese chinese. They are friendly but if you're not chinese within a big group of chinese, then you're not one of "us". You know...?

Anyway, I really hope to meet some like-minded people and talk about similar shared experiences in korea and things like that, or I'll go crazy in a matter of seconds. On the same topic, I'm terribly homesick and also missing my old life back in Japan. I've finally adjusted to my lifestyle there, enjoying socialising with familiar people, but I've cleverly uprooted myself and arrived in South Korea.

People assume that because you're Asian, you'd understand the culture more and fit in more easily than a real westerner. I doubt that's the case because sometimes I truly resent this overpowering confucianism-based society. It makes existing difficult because of how mindful you must be of your own behaviour around people, especially older people, because they expect you to be polite and to adhere to their cultural rules.

For example, I had many run ins with his family. For examples, I didn't know what to say to greet a family member when they left or arrived home. I decided to do a friendly "byebye" but that didn't go very well down with his father. He said that it was unacceptable. Oops. I was trying, but I think saying nothing would have been better.

Then we had a family meal together at home. BBQ meat and soju, yay! I happily took the soju bottle, give it a fancy swish around and thumped it hard at the bottom to shake it up. I was pretty much proud of myself for being able to learn this trick from S's friends, but again his father was like ZOMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!!? So I guess it was a no-no. I can't do that with elders, only with my friends apparently. Oops X2.

Another time I was called to S's house to meet his cousin who was going to get married. We live about 5 minutes away so I just threw on anything close by. It was also sweltering hot in mid-summer, at mid-day. Without a thought, I went to S's place to meet his cousin. Who then showed up with her husband, her dad and her mother-in-law-to-be. TOO MANY ELDERS TO MEET. Her father then commented that my tank top looked like a PJs because it was too form fitting. My skirt was deemed inappropriate as well because it too short and fitting. When we got home, S commented that my outfit was truly inappropriate. Thanks for the post-event advice. It had been terribly useful. I was really upset at the difference because attire really wouldn't matter in Singapore, especially what I was wearing. But it reflected badly on me in South Korea.

There was one more minor attire incident which pissed me off immensely about all these strict unwritten rules about attire. I was planning to wear my sports attire - a nike tank top and a pair of FTB shorts to walk about an hour to the bike shop and also drop by the supermarket nearby. S stopped me and demanded that I change out into normal t-shirt and shorts. So the million dollar question was WHY????? By my logical standards, it's THE BEST attire for a walk. Plus I look good in that. So his response was this - NOBODY IN KOREA GOES TO THE SUPERMARKET IN SPORTSWEAR. YOU WOULD BE SEEN AS A CRAZY IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woah woah woah. So basically 80% of the population (especially of those 40 and up) wear outdoor brands (for mountain-climbing, hiking etc) go to basically anywhere. But it's basically unbelievable and impolite to go to the supermarket in sportswear. MY MIND IS COMPLETELY BLOWN. I couldn't stand how ridiculous all these rules are like about attire. Why is everything such a big deal?

As you can see, I still have a lot of emotional dissonance to deal with. We'll see. Watch this space. I hope to check in again soon! In the meantime, I'll have to post some photos to make up for all the missing photos in my past posts. I wonder what went wrong.

It'a been way too long since I've updated this blog.

So much have happened and so much have changed.

Since summer last year, I've been on an adventure with my dear friends from Singapore to Szechuan, China. I returned and enjoyed the rest of the summer and I've also met a person who is now someone extremely important to me.

It's amazing how things change so quickly and although it's terribly cliched, the best things happen when you least expect it.

I haven't felt like this in a while and perhaps I've never even felt like this before. Maybe this is true, maybe he's the one.

I'm afraid that things might go wrong because of all the logistical obstacles we face in the future, not to mention the cultural and language differences. Our best (and seemingly easiest) alternative has been found to be unviable because of certain university requirements which would be rather difficult to meet.

He was extremely upset and while I was also disappointed, I'm surprised at how optimistic I was at trying other options. I think perhaps I have enough strength to get through this because of how much he means to me.

Maybe he could be the one. Watch this space.