A Whiter Shade of Pale

It's only a bad day. It's only a bad day. It's only a bad day. It's only a bad day. I hope this chanting will make me feel better.

I've had a shit day today. So all my angst, hot tears, which I bravely held back of course - I attribute everything to my intense frustration from today's string of unfortunate events.

Bus rides are becoming philosophical for me. I have monologues in my head which I ask countless questions and attempt to answer them myself.

Is this what growing up is like? Simply having more unanswered questions? More weight on your shoulders?

Carefree - does anyone know this word still? I suspect that even the most carefree person in this world cared about something.

And of course the quintessential questions - so what is meaning of life? Who am I? What makes me, me?

Perhaps, it's only a bad day.

The weather is wayyyyyy too hot these days. At least it's somewhat windy today, ignore the heat & pretend you're in LA or something. On bad days, you might start off the day with glorious clear skies & bask in the blazing sun, next get caught in a sudden thunderstorm, and then spend rest of the day in a extremely warm & humid atmosphere - the air will stay absolutely still and you'd feel as if water droplets are literally hanging in the air.

No lovely mild springtime weather for us who teeter about along the geographical line around the tropics. If you like consistency - this is the place to be!

I'm just wondering if there's any technology which can convert heat energy into electricity efficiently. If it's possible, Singapore will surely be able to produce sufficient electricity to meet domestic demand. That immense energy reserve will be used to power all our central air-conditioning systems, which will then generate more heat in return in the external atmosphere, thereby creating even more electricity. This is simply marvelous. Hasn't anyone thought of that yet???

P.S. I have to say that I love this weather forecast site because it shows you the truth. Its 34degrees, yes yes we all know that already. But it "feels like 39degrees". Now, that's the truth.

"In New Delhi, you’ll see the overt remnants of the former colonial power. Wide streets, big squares, spacious parks and ornamental and bombastic governmental buildings. This is also the part of Delhi where you can visit Gandhi’s memorial. Old Delhi is quite the opposite. It makes you think you’ve ended up in a beehive. Small narrow alleys, little shops and a bustling daily life. This is also the area where you’ll find, amidst all the hectic daily practices, serenity and quietness when you enter the Jama Masjid (Friday Mosque) and have a look over Delhi’s outskirts and visit the Red Fort. Besides that, there are several good museums and interesting sights dispersed over the rest of Delhi and its vicinity, such as the National Museum and Humayun’s Tomb." --- World66 travel guide

1. India is one of the oldest civilisations in this world!
2. Delhi is more than 2500 years old and was the seat of the Mughal Dynasty.
3. Indian culture is fascinating! (Slumdog Millionaire doesnt show you the entire deal, though you'd definitely need an open mind to enjoy India.)
4. Assault of the senses - Intense colours, new smells (both good & bad I'm sure!), crazy sounds of urban human traffic.
5. Extreme constrasts - riches & poverty/modernity & backwardness.
6. Authentic Indian food! You can stuff your face with hotter than the sun curries!
7. Will definitely give you a culture shock. (Just think Little India [Serangoon/Race course road] X 2923872301 in intensity.)
8. It will be surely be warmer than England. :D
9. Athens, Istanbul & Marrakesh are too far away!
10. We dont need to take 12hour flights!
11. You & I both should still be able to afford to fly to Delhi!
12. Rupees are relatively cheap! Shopping!!!
    
13. There are many historical monuments to visit! (Please refer below.)
14. This day trip looks pretty amazing! The District Park, Hauz Khas is just about two Km from the AIIMS / Safdarjung flyover.
    
15. Festivals!!! Phulwalon - Ki - Sair or the Flower sellers Procession & Dussehra, commemorates the victory of Lord Rama over the demon king, Ravana. It's a month-long Ram Lila dance festival depicting scenes from the epic Ramayana, while gigantic effigies of Ravana are set on fire on the Dussehara evening itself.
16. Check out the Indian nightlife. Hindi music, here I come!
17. Practise your bhangra moves!
18. Hunt down sultry Bollywood celebrities!
19. I get to see you in October.
20. If still in doubt, number 19 is should be the most convincing reason of all.
    

Today's random quotes

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible." - Albert Einstein --- ??? What the heck is he talking about?

"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning." - Bill Gates --- Haha, that's an unbeatable excuse.

"Work is not always required... There is such a thing as sacred idleness, the cultivation of which is now fearfully neglected." - George McDonald --- Amen.

"If non-productivity was a virtue, I'll surely have the highest honour." - Wanying --- I am so screwed!

Have had my fill of Bakkuteh, Nasi Briyani, Teh tariks, plain Pratas, & heart-warming home-cooked meals.
Have had too many scorching days of 38degrees & sudden onslaughts of tropical monsoon rains.

Would be awfully nice to be back in the chilly English air, bask in the occasional warm sunshine, with a cheap cold pint in hand & a warm Cornish pasty in the other.
Would be a luxury to be surrounded by simplity of the countryside and stay really really far away from the human excesses.

I already know what my birthday wish is going to be this year -

To: birthdayrequests@iamyourgod.com?

Dear person in charge,

Please give me the power to stop time! Oh, if that's too difficult...
You could simply break all the clocks in this world & stop the hands of time instead.

Thank you. I look forward to your favourable reply soon!

Cheers,
wy

Almost done for this week of school now. phew... I'm sure I can just sit through 1 more intensive 5 hours tax planning lesson. I'm turning into a boring old fart - my life revolves around my trusty Advanced Financial Accounting textbook BUT all that reading isn't giving me any earth-shattering relevationary insights! :(

I read about Rah's Parisian weekend with C - Awwwwww. Simply brought back memories which only make me miss last Fall/Winter even more strongly. Haha. Rahrah, I understand completely how your social obligations are obstacles to travelling around & seeing the big, big world when your time is extremely limited. Nevertheless, it's always about the good times spent doing things you love with someone you adore, isn't it? It's a reasonable trade-off! Plus, Rah's exchange story to date is awesome enough, in my opinion. Haha.

The way they discussed separation had a way with my heartstrings, it was really sweet and also bittersweet. It's always about endless ifs and more what ifs. Leaving is a hard thing to do and there's always nagging thoughts about your loss & the real potential of losing someone who means so much to you. What if the truth is otherwise, but we could both pretend that love still exists and either will not spill a single word and continue to live in a dream together. Could anyone ever bear to taint this innocent appeal?

Since I'm determined to make life here as pleasant as I can for my own sake, I've gotten tickets for myself & the girls to see Vivienne Westwood's F/W collection at the Audi Fashion Festival. It's gonna be a Sex & the City moment with the girlfriends. A day to play dress-up, pretend to be somewhat well-heeled, look and act like all the bejewelled V-V-I-P guests air-kissing each other, knocking back bubbly champagne to make civilised small talk. Just the thing to feel the rush of excitement in my veins again.

I watched The Winter's Tale at the Esplanade with dixi yesterday evening. I thought that it was palatable - Victorian english takes tremendous effort to be translated into modern language. The first half was overwhelmingly emotionally and psychologically intensive which got me rather restless after a while. The set was simple but effective. The costumes were well luscious. The initial mish-mash of English & American accents took me a while to figure out. Sicilia represents the UK & Bohemia, the US. Which is also why the sheep-rearing party looks just like a cowboy fiesta and had blue, red & white balloons. Camillo in disguise looked just like Uncle Sam too. Haha. Well, I thought that Ethan Hawke as Autolycus (the mraz lookalike, guitar-toting, song-singing rogue) was extremely refreshing, but he reminded me too much of Jack Sparrow. It was almost as if I felt that they were brothers. Haha. Maybe its just one of the Hollywood techniques actors pull out of the hat. I'm sure everyone preferred the 2nd half because it was more light-hearted. My favourite character has to be the "young shepard". Too honest & stupid, he makes me want to protect him from the cunning Autolycus.

How is that Mraz is able to write so eloquently as if he's a holy messenger of love, peace & hope & still sound unbelievably cool? I do wish that I'm at least half as wise when I'm 30.

So its been the usual SMU end of term madness. Enough of spreadsheets of forecasted financial statements, firm valuation and financial ratios; recommendation reports and presentations. I'm glad its over for now, at least until after the first wave of exams in mid April.

5 fast recent facts
My Uni of Surrey email account has been closed by the administrator. Damn. :(
I've found Singapore's oldest English pub - it even sells cornish pasties!
Thankfully, most summer plans are more or less settled by now.
Accounting modules are unbelievably torturous.
I really need to go shopping but I'm so broke. :(

Well, its been an unusually queer week. The previous weekend was spent in school to finish up our project. Then, I couldn't help but greet the passing of Jade Goody with immense sadness on Sunday. It's the epitome of irony- she wanted to spend (UK)Mother's Day with her children so bad & she was taken away on that particular day. It's so strange how the only contact I had with her was from mere reading of her life from dailymail.co.uk's trashy articles & I still felt her pain throughout her ordeal.

I could finally breath a huge sigh of relief on Monday after our project submission. There after, I struggled to balance my journal entries on Tuesday night & on Wednesday morning, in a frenzied bid to finish my unfathomable Accounting homework; came home at night to see the most pitiable animal pleading me for kindness. That killed any bit of positivity left in me when I realised that I was completely helpless, except to give it some scraps of food. Anyway, the dog's gone by now. I do hope that its still alive somewhere out there.

Nevertheless, we celebrated Hua's 22nd birthday yesterday night- expensive ciders, draught beers & mexican margaritas which gave me a mild hangover this morning and emptied my wallet and even made me oversleep for school. Thank goodness my dad gave me a lift, but we left the house before I realised that my mobile phone wasn't with me- which meant that I wasn't able to find my way from work to Steph's place for Gracia's surprise birthday party. :( I'm sorry.

FYI, I've also spoke to Hera on FB earlier & it was great catching up. I'm so glad she met a (so-far-seemingly) great man who's treating her right. Also, happy birthday, Hera! :) I hate to admit the fact that I'm extremely envious of couply people who don't need to look at the clock to see what time it is over at their side and are able to see each other anytime they want. Unfortunately, it's almost too easy to feel unloved when you're 10,000 miles away & only hearing silence from across the seas.

Sent: Fri 13/03/2009 19:48
To: Auto List for all UG - Faculty - FML - Level All
Subject: Housemate Wanted

I know that this concerns everyone in the email list....

BUT I am looking for 2 housemates; they must be over 8ft tall, Blonde, called Edgar or James.
They need to be EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING, LIKE TO PARTY, GET ON WELL WITH ANYONE...they also must come as a package deal otherwise they just can't move in.

The house is really small with no windows or electricity and is a £34050 a week. It is located 8 miles away from campus with no car parking. The house has a bathroom with a bath but no toilet and the running water comes out a brownish tinge...not sure why.

If interested please write your response on a postcard, stick it to a Frisbee and throw it over a rainbow......

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Fri 13/03/2009 20:02
To: Auto List for all UG - Faculty - FML - Level All
Subject: Re: Housemate Wanted

Im only 7ft tall, brunette and my name is Edmund, my package deal partner is called Jim.....is this a problem??
Also we can only afford £34049 a week for rent. The parking issue is no worry because we fly to campus.

PS We are only GOOD LOOKING but we do like to PARTAY...WOOP WOOP

So do we have a deal??

Sent: Fri 13/3/09 11:22 PM
To: Auto List for all UG - Faculty - FML - Level All
Subject: Re: Housemate Wanted

Dear all,

My name is Jim, I have been recommended by a dear friend called Edmund that an ideal house was being advertised for me. Unfortunately I have just read the requirements for this available household and my name doesn't seem to fit the specification. Other than that, if you could let me off for not being called Edgar or James, I will be happy to move in as soon as possible.

£34049 a week is perfectly fine, I am a wealthy son of a homo and also have adequate transport to travel 16 miles to and from University. Parking will be an issue actually Edmund, we'll need a spaceship pad if possible and preferbly an underground basement for my sexual needs.

Me and Edmund are two good looking albino's and also like to party, quite hard...I also hate Arsenal...

I think if we could negotiate on parking for my spaceship and the underground facilities in which I will need, we have a deal my friend,

Kindest Regards,

Jim Bob

________________________________
HAHAHAHA. Zomg. English humour eh? I love all these ex-schoolmates bombarding my Uni of Surrey email account. haha.

The original email which inspired the thread is here:

From: Unis Auto List on behalf of ea00080@SURREY.AC.UK
Sent: Wed 11/03/2009 12:10
To: Auto List for all UG - Faculty - FML - Level All
Subject: LOOKING FOR A HOUSE!


THIS IS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE!

TWO GUYS ARE LOOKING FOR A HOUSE FOR SEPTEMBER 2009! EXTREMLY GOOD LOOKING, LIKE TO PARTY, GET ON WELL WITH ANYONE! IF ANYONE STILL NEEDS HOUSMATES EMAIL BACK...BUT WE COME AS A PACKAGE DEAL... WE ARE LOOKING FOR A HOUSE CLOSE TO CAMPUS...

P.S WE ARE NOT ACTUALY COUPLE IN FACT SINGLE

EDGARS & CHRIS

I hate ranting, I really do, but I guess there's no other outlet since I have no open arms to run into. But seriously, I've just wasted 2 hours of my life stuck in a goddamn traffic jam at 10.30pm at night on Bukit Timah Road. I've had a bloody long day - my day started off with a traffic jam along Orchard road while I was on my way to work. Then, my day ended at 8ish, close to 9 and I only arrived home at 11pm. Bukit Timah has freaking FIVE lanes, count the number of fingers on your hands and yes its F-I-V-E lanes. The entire stretch from town to Jalan Jurong Kechil was packed with cars about 2 inches apart from each other. My eyes were blinded by the frustration-inducing red hazards lights every time a vehicle inched forward & braked almost immediately. The best part is when I was expecting a huge ass accident which caused the bottleneck, there was NONE.

I hate this so much, I'm still boiling with rage. All the profanities I know cant even express how upset I am. I guess I'm just being a pain in the ass as usual, but, sorry I can't help it. I'm UNHAPPY. FYI, people tell you that smoking kills, it reduces your lifespan by at least 5 years or something like that. But I think that's nothing if you think about spending about 3hours each day trapped in traffic jams doing nothing much productive other than tapping your foot impatiently & swearing in your head. I hate to say this, but with each passing day, I hate living in a city & living in a city state even more because there's no other place to run away from this crazy concrete jungle.

Well, if I must count my blessings, then at least Wednesday was a lovely day, despite having a killer class at noon. Having cheap& good food for dinner, fabulous company & chilled draught beer is one of the best ways to finish up your midweek.


It's 6pm in Singapore & I'm seated at an Italian delicatessen at Cluny Court. It's facing a busy junction and I'm attempting to read my AFA textbook. My surroundings are pleasant enough- iron wrought tables & chairs placed outside a restored colonial shophouse facade, only with the occasional mosquito disturbances. Although I was simply trying to kill time before meeting my friends, it was a short breather for me to appreciate the privilege of my travels.

I heard 2 french men conversing urgently as if they were talking about a really important business deal as they strode past me. A French wife was waiting for her husband at the cafe with her red-haired toddler in a pram. Soon, the father (who looks 100% French with his head full of curls,) arrived promptly & then greeted his child with great delight. They departed together after he shared a kiss with his wife. Afterwhich I continued my readings and i glimpsed this man cycling past while attired in his crisp white business shirt and dark jeans, puffing away on his cigarette. I also noticed his laptop bag sitting comfortably in the rattan basket at the front of the bicycle. That is so French, or maybe even European in general.

I start to feel as if I'm on a piece of little France and I can't help but feel nostalgic. I really like France- though not very impressed by Paris, I must admit that I have since reserved a soft spot for France. I guess after spending a week there, you start to grow fond of Casino brand groceries, get used to seeing "SORTIE" signs for exits and hearing French spoken exclusively. Contrary to popular belief, the French are really kind & warm people. I guess I can't say the same for all Parisians, especially if i were one, I'll be extremely annoyed at all the tourists thronging my city every single day. Especially you anglophones- Give me some peace & quiet from your bastardised language please.... Stop contaminating my French! Haha. The French people we've met elsewhere were absolute darlings and we loved to wish them Bon Weekend!

Perhaps the exchange experience has left too deep an impression. I'll have a flood of memories hitting me like a tidal wave all too often, during precious moments like this when you're able to detach yourself from the maddening world & indulge yourself when in a pensive mood. That said, I can't further emphasize on the immense joy from travelling despite facing the stresses of logistics coordination, budget constraints & other unfortunate unforeseen circumstances. E.g. Justin's friend's wallet got nicked in BCN last weekend & he actually said to the pickpocket, "Can I have my wallet back, please?" HAHAHA. Imagine that with the Brit accent! That is so priceless. The perfect English gentleman in distress will always be polite and well-mannered. hahaha. I guess if you're armed with a good sense of humour then all mishaps & anything similar would be part of the fun, isn't it?

You know, I had already kept my slip of paper away to brace myself for more serious reading, but I began to chuckle involuntarily and I had to take my paper out to scribble some more. This woman just strolled past with a long baguette in hand, munching on a piece of it from her hand & I swear she's definitely French. I recall the insane queues at the Parisian bakeries in the mornings, and the queues were still equally long at lunch time. The french really really really adore their baguettes!

I bet I can sit here the whole day, on chairs that face the road just in the typical European sidewalk al fresco cafes style, (whereas our local cafes have chairs that face each other,) and eavesdrop on people's conversations.

I want to go to Marrakesh, Morocco NOW!

With the exception of the crazy heat - 37-38degreesC in August, everything else is gonna be lovely! ( I hope, it'd better be. )

Staying HERE would be divine! I wish it came with a jacuzzi though- the other one has a jacuzzi- perfect for a insanely hot summer day/night.

Even now I can smell your clothes, freshly from the wash, still hot from the dryer.
Even now I can smell your skin, as I wrap you in a towel, lay you on the bed, and try to love you.
Even now I can feel your arms, I can feel your breast, I can hear your songs.

And I always can find you again.

Even now I can feel your hand, gently over mine, with almost.... No weight at all.
Even now I can feel your eyes, watch me as I strum, much too late at night.
Even now I can see your smile, and I can hear ya hum, I can hear ya sing.

And I always can find you again.

Even in the dark of night.
Even in the lowest light.
Even as the world outside is spinning, and spinning.

Even now I can feel your hair, blow across my cheek, as we sit in one of two chairs.
Even now I can feel your face, resting on my chest, wrestling for sleep and failing at it.
Even now I can see you sleep, I can see you dream, I can see you fly.

And I always can find you again.
And I always can find you again.

Even Now - Dashboard Confessional
He wrote the song I would have wanted to.

Its really strange how I can wake up this morning feeling rather apprehensive, next go through a relatively productive day & eventually conclude that I feel fine enough on a Monday. Then I wonder at how I managed to feel so defeated & discouraged just a day earlier. I hope the renewed strength will help me pull through the next 8 weeks. I suppose instead of detesting school work, I can learn to take comfort in being drowned in work, at least that's the only thing I have now.