weAndersons

Found this great quote while blog surfing:

"God's delays are not God's denials - some dreams are just worth waiting for."
Anonymous

Merry Christmas my babies.  I'm missing you big time.

I had a great discussion yesterday morning with a couple friends about trusting God.  One of the ladies, who is a bazillion times wiser than me, mentioned that when she is going through a difficulty and is offering it to God, that she continually reminds herself to trust Him. Every day, multiple times.  Not that she doesn't trust Him.  She does.  Just that when those little unbidden thoughts of sadness or discouragement or whatever enter her mind, she reminds herself of God's sovereignty and might and that she trusts Him.  And she is at peace.  I thought that was such a good one!

Later, the discussion made me think of a teacher I knew back in my Peace Corps days in Botswana.  She was a funny lady, and had a good rapport with her students.  When they were having trouble remembering concepts that she knew that they knew but had forgotten, she would say in an exasperated tone:  "You are thick!"  I guess she said it enough times because one day, the class was having difficulty remembering something, and she said to them:  "Come on, why don't you remember this?"  And they responded:  "Because we are thick, Madam!"  She got a good laugh that day.

I am the thick one.  I've said before that I am a late bloomer.  It takes me a long time and multiple lessons to get some stuff.  And here I am with the same issue of trust.  I trust God.  I do.  I know nothing is impossible with Him.  I know He is in control.  I know all things work for the good for those that love Him.  I know.  I know.  I know.  Yet, I am thick.  I still get sad.  I still get discouraged.  I still sigh heavily on Friday afternoons when another week has passed with no new information on #3 and #4 and there is a weekend ahead when obviously there can be no news for another two full days.

So God has taught me another lesson.  Hope I can remember it.

I've been thinking about birth mothers a lot lately.  Of course, this being Advent, my mind often turns to Mary and the birth of Jesus.  In addition, we recently celebrated the anniversary of Mario joining our family, which we refer to as "Family Day," which makes me think of his birth mother.  From there, it's not a far leap to think about #3 and #4's birth mother.  Clearly, I don't know anything about her circumstances.  Even once we get our referral, I probably won't receive much information about her.  I've often heard it said that losing a child to death is the hardest thing a person ever has to do;  I'm guessing that making an adoption plan for a child you have given birth to can't be too far down the list from there.

I know it is common practice for couples hoping to adopt domestically to write a "Dear Birth Mother" letter to the woman who is considering them to parent her child.  This is not something we have had to do, and I am thankful for that.  Of course, if requirements changed tomorrow and we needed to have this in our dossier, we would do it, but how does one even write such a letter?  How do you thank a woman for her child?  What words would ever cut it?

I hope that #3 and #4's birth mother knows enough about God to know that He can comfort her regarding this loss and bring her peace.  I pray that God give her the grace to turn to Him.  I know full well that God can draw straight with crooked lines.  I pray that their birth mother offer her pain and suffering to God so that it can be redemptive.  I pray that God heal her and draw her closer to Him.

The visual image I have for this adoption is a traffic jam on the highway.  A seriously big traffic jam on the highway.  Like one for the record books, where people eons later still talk about that traffic jam.

Sometimes when caught in traffic, there are cars all around, in front, and behind, but the cars are moving forward.  Inching forward maybe.  You can't see what the problem is up ahead because there are just so many cars, or there is a bend in the road, but there is some comfort in knowing that the cars are still moving.  It may be way slow, but you know that eventually you'll get out of it.  It's just going to take some time.  You do some calculations in your head:  "Ok, we're moving at 5 mph, we've got 3 miles to cover...."  You call your family to let them know you are going to be twenty minutes late because of traffic, but you'll get there as soon as you can.

Then there are those other occasions when the traffic is just not moving at all.  People are out of their cars, walking up and down on the shoulder trying to see what is happening.  Others are bailing out, driving through the grass to the service road.  No one in front is moving at all.  News helicopters are circling all about.  You can't see up ahead.  You have no idea what is causing the jam.  You have no idea when it will be cleared.  You have no idea what to tell your friends when they call and ask when you are going to get there.  All you can say for sure is that it is not going to be anytime soon.

We're on a road we have never travelled before.  Sure, we've been on other roads.  Sure, we've been in bad traffic before.  Sure, we've got a very sturdy car, and we're nowhere near E.  But this road, man oh man.  I can't even tell you what it is like on this road.  Very few people have travelled on it, so reports of road conditions are few and far between.  And it's hard to comprehend until you have actually been on the road.  Even to those on the road it is still very mysterious.  And we've been on this road a long time. We really didn't think we would be on this road for this long.  There are exactly fourteen cars ahead of us, but the road is so dark that we can't even see them.  We just know they are there, and they have to go through first, one at a time, before we can reach our destination.  And they are not moving.  They have not moved in such a long time.  Our hearts are so heavy.  We've been on this road for so long; we just want to get to our destination.

On the bright side, we know we are supposed to be on this road.  And we have the best Driver imaginable.  Our Driver called us to take this road.  And we have the best Fuel possible.  We are being sustained by this Driver and this Fuel.  We totally trust our Driver, and we know we are in His hands.  We trust Him even more than when we started this journey.  We love our Driver.  We love Him even more than when we started this journey.  The road is growing us and changing us, and we know we will be so much better equipped when we reach our destination for travelling this road.  It is a painful road, but it is the road for our lives.  We could not be on this road without our Driver and our Fuel.  No way possible.  But we are so glad we are on it.  We are humbled in fact that we are able to travel this road.  And when people praise us for taking this road, it's hard to even know how to react or what to say.  Honestly, all we're doing it travelling the road that has been laid out for us by our Driver.  To Him be all the glory.

Thank you Lord for driving us along this road and for sustaining us on this journey.

In about two months, our clearance from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service will expire, which means we have to go about renewing that, which means we have to have our home study updated and get our fingerprints taken again.  I was definitely hoping we would have our referral prior to these updates, but it doesn't look like that will the case, so we'll just have to go ahead and get these things taken care of.  It's hard to not feel a bit discouraged, but I am willing myself to remain hopeful and positive.

I was just looking at the timeline for Mario's adoption, and it's funny:  six years ago we were right in the middle of our very first home study.  Jerry and I were so nervous.  We were told repeatedly the home study process was not going to be a big deal, but it sure felt that way to a couple of pre-parents.  I think we cleaned every square inch of the house, and our house was already quite clean since it was just the two of us at the time, and what kind of mess do two adults ever really make?  Everyone told us that the social worker would really just want to talk to us, and the house itself was not so important, but we couldn't help it.  We cleaned everything anyway.  And when it came time for the social worker to come over, the visit was smooth, friendly, and actually rather fun.  She gave us some great suggestions, and we learned a lot.  And she barely looked at the house!  Of course, she could probably smell Pine Sol, Murphy's Oil Soap, and 409 from a mile away...

Anyway, so our fourth home study ought to be a piece of cake.  The same lady who did our home study in early 2010 is going to do this update, so that will be very nice.  She was very friendly, and the boys instantly liked her.  I think we've seen her a couple times since then at social functions as well.

Nothing else to report.  No change in our wait list number, as I understand the committee has not met in quite a while.  That's it for now!