Wrath is therapeutical

When my friend told me this department is hopeless, I thought he was exaggerating....now i know, its really hopeless....god help me pls.....my future is so uncertain now!

Its so refreshing to finally have a family member visit u....really a much needed one coz I have been so home sick to the point I cry myself to bed every night....in my heart la duh.haha

Cousin Steph came over with the bf n his family....i know she must be damn sian to be with them so I totally came n be her "saviour"....we talked about what happened back home n how screwed up our family is....really shocking.....out of the bunch we concluded that we are the most normal ones hahaha....its sad how the family turned out like that, Im pretty glad that I was being lead in the correct direction....by screwed i mean, real screwed! going to jail, being illegal immigrant, taking drugs, having affairs kind of screwed okay....

And then there are some updates on my own family....N she was shocked that I know NOTHING...apparently nobody tells me anything anymore....i know they prob didnt wanna upset or worry me i understand their concerns....but as a daughter and the eldest I should at least be informed about things that happened back home.....i mean, I dont care what happened to my relatives and cousins but at least I have to care for my own family's wellbeing.

I really hope that they are doing good without me because I really want them to lead a good and happy life.

They are all I have here in Spore....if not for the friends I have here, I would probably killed myself in this miserable place long time ago...because its really tough believe it...

Its especially touching when u have people offering help when u are having a tough time here....thats when u see who your true friends are....money should never ever come between friends....money is the root of all evil, very true indeed.

Of course friends come from different walks of life...if u ask me do i feel stressed having the pressure to "keep up"...the answer is an obvious yes.....most of the people i hung out with are rich...by rich i mean, landed property, car, somebody's somebody's daughter, indon tycoon dad, CEO dad etc. "out-of-this-world" rich not just plain rich....Comparing myself to them, my family's fortune is not even 0.1percent of theirs n I used to even starve myself during school days in order to not ask money from my parents....this is a Stark difference but nobody judges anybody...I dont feel the need to own whatever they own...i will just be satisfied with whatever i can buy with my hard earned money, it feels good to be earning seriously because i can finally "keep up" a lil as compared my school days...

But true friends will never ever force you or judge u....Thats why i always make a point to TELL THEM IN THEIR FACES if I have no money to do whatever they wanted me to do....People should just be honest and be true to themselves n know their limit...thrash it out in the open if u have your concerns or if ur unhappy with one another....n believe me, everyone has a different value for money....some people might take ten bucks for granted but I used to survive for two weeks with ten bucks in my account!

I couldnt even afford my grad trip even though its only 2k....yeah "ITS ONLY"...to them its called "its only" but to me its called "WTF I dont fuckin have 2K n i will not ask my parents to give me 2k just for me to enjoy myself while they suffer back home".....But that didnt upset me at all because I can have my fair share of grad fun with nearby/local places with great company....I dont need to go to the Europe or US, I can always do that when I earn enough.

Despite the "bad impression" that I always seemed to get from all that "partying", No, I am not blowing my future and fortune away n NO,i am not hanging out with bad company because we are all OLD and wise enough to think, its all in the name of FUN and I can actually AFFORD it now with my own money so that rocks..not to mention, when Im still young and single...because when Im 30, dont even think of doing all this crazy shit because its just....off.

I have great plans ahead and I will continue to strive hard for myself and my family....n my wonderful friends, yes each and everyone of you out there...When I finally made it in the future in my glamourous property line, I promise to repay all of u in whatever form be it monetary or otherwise....as of right now, I can only offer you my truest and most sincere Friendship.

You know, things can be blown out of proportion when there is no big deal to begin with....learn to play with the human's mind afterall us human beings are the culprits of all evil....peace brother peace sista'.

The underlying issue here is really just.....EQ.

Got a sudden change of environment....got an email on Fri...n ended up in another office today...literally starting all over again...n we all know how first days are always ...AWKWARD.

Of course I prefer to be in my comfort zone....been in the same co. for three mths n now I gotta start over with an entirely new co...new ppl...new job scope...new place...of course the location is awesome with lotsa food n glamourous people.....not necessarily a good thing....gotta spend more on food, clothes, shoes etc in order to "fit in".

N yes, even ppl in the office looks so much more glam than my previous one.....glam simply means...Young...duhhh...n yes, got cute guys got angmohs got EVERYTHING!!wow zaaaa

But tht doesnt serve as a comfort cushion for me to rest my butt on because seriously I feel so awkward there...so lost...so NEW.

Today I had Bfast with the CondoManager who shared with me about parents and their expectations....its something that is so touching and heart felt for the both of us, myself as a child and himself as a parent.

Omg Im so homesick please let me just wake up n find myself at home tmrw.