Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I just finished reading a blog that my sister referred me to. It was the blog of a lady name Michelle who has recently passed away. She blogged the last little while of her life about her family, how scared she was to leave them, coming to terms with death, all of her memories, her pain, etc. I don't know when I last cried that hard. I've been going through a lot of personal issues lately and it's been really hard for me to keep a smile on my face. I haven't wanted to get up in the mornings and when I come home all I want to do is crawl into my bed and hide from the world. I have felt extremely alone out here in Utah without my best friend (my sister) and my mom. But I haven't actually been able to cry about any of this, until I read that blog. It made me realize how lucky I am to have my family around, even if they aren't close to me. It made me realize how small my problems actually are when compared to others. We should always have smiles on our faces and be thankful for everything we have, no matter how hard it gets. I love my family more than I could ever tell them, and I don't tell them enough. I would be ruined if I lost any of them.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Shine

Oh the night makes you a star

And it holds you cold in its arms

You're the one to

whom nobody verses I love you

Unless you say it first


So you lie there holding your breath

And its strange how soon you forget

That you`re like stars

They only show up when it`s dark

Cause they don`t know their worth

And I think you need to stop following misery`s lead

Shine away shine away shine away


Isn`t it time you got over how fragile you are

We`re all waiting
Waiting on your supernova

Cause that`s who you are

And you`ve only begun to shine

There are times when the poets and pornstars align

and You won`t know who to believe in

Well that`s a good time to be leavin`

And the past knocks on your door

And throws stones at your window at 4 in the morning

Well maybe he thinks it`s romantic

He`s crazy, but you knew that before

And I think you need to stop following misery`s lead

Shine away Shine away Shine away

Isn`t it time you got over how fragile you are

We`re all waiting
Waiting on your supernova

Cause that`s who you are

And you`ve only begun to shine

Yeah you`ve only begun to shine


Won`t you shine shine shine shine over shadow

Shine shine shine shine over shadow

Shine shine shine shine over

And I think you need to stop following misery`s lead

Shine away Shine away Shine away

Isn`t it time you got over how fragile you are

We`re all waiting
Waiting on your supernova

Cause that`s who you are

And you`ve only begun to shine

Yeah you`ve only begun to shine

Yeah you`ve only begun to shine


Yeah you`ve only begun to shine...

Friday, June 20, 2008

Do You Pledge Your Allegiance?


I saw this post from Jay Leno on Myspace today and I think it is very important that everyone read it. I've seen and heard so many celebrities diss our president and our country and I think it's about time that one put his fame to good use. Afterall, shouldn't the celebrities be the most thankful that we have money to give them to entertain us? You tell me.

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true, given the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed, and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence, 2/3's of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What are we so unhappy about?'' Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time, and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year? Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all, and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents.Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
Fact is we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are.The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here. I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The President who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The President that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The Commander-In Chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for your self and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it...are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.
So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds, it leads; and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another.Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J.Simpson to write a book about 'how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way'...Insane! Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country.There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth, and should thank God several times a day or at least be thankful and appreciative. 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"


Jay Leno 2007




Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Let's Get Some Shoes






I've been watching Sex and the City a lot lately, (okay, that's an understatement). For the past few months, Sex and the City is ALL I have been watching. I'm addicted. I just finished all of the seasons and saw the new movie and now I'm starting over from season one. I know most of you probably think it is a filfthy, lame show, which is what I thought before I actually gave it a chance. It's fabulous. I think the aspect I enjoy most about the show is that there are no boundaries for the women like there are in other shows. In most movies or TV shows, they portray men as having all of the power at home and in the work place. The men view women as disposable and use of them as they please. Women are always portrayed to be the weaker sex. But not anymore! The show is about four single women in their thirties who live in New York City. Carrie, the narrator of the show, is my favorite character and a complete inspiration! She has the life I've always dreamed of. She's a free lance writer for a newspaper, she's extremely confident and beautiful, and she has the most amazing collection of shoes I've ever seen. I won't tell you anymore about the show because you just need to go and watch it yourself. The point of this blog is to tell you about my new "Carrie" inspired, Coach shoes I got at Nordstrom's at their big shoe sale. These shoes are regularly $350.00 and I got them for $100.00. My amazing boyfriend bought majority of them for me (thanks babe). They are so comfortable and I love them. It felt nice to be able to treat myself to something special:)



P.S. Mom, don't watch this show. You'll hate it.


Monday, June 16, 2008

Good Morning Starshine-The Earth Says Hello!

Hello world! I caved. I am now a blogger. My sister Steph blogs, my friend Allyssa blogs, Dane Cook blogs....so I feel I should also blog:) I never thought I would say this but I am now a proud resident of the state of Utah. I have lived here for a little over a year now and I sadly love it. I always said I would never move back to Utah. I knew I wouldn't stay in Colorado because I wasn't happy there either. I thought that if only I could move to the beach away from everyone and everything I know and bury all of my problems in the sand, then maybe they would go away. Well Mom, here it goes....(you were right). It doesn't work that way. It is a long hard journey to find yourself, one that I am still on and will be for a long time. But there are people in my life who have helped show me what I truly can be if I never stop fighting. I just wanted to say thanks to all of those amazing people that got me where I am today:







Mom-You are the strongest person I have ever met. I will forever admire your strength and only hope that someday I will be able to repay you for all of the love and support you've given me. Thank you for teaching me the true meaning of my insanity (doing the same things over and over, and expecting different results).



Steph- I can't find the words to tell you how much you've impacted my life. You are the reason I am still here today. You've held my hand through thick and thin. You are my role model. You are my hero. You are my bestest friend. I love you so much.



Bree, EZ Breezy, BreAnn, Lova- I wish that you could see for yourself how sweet and amazing you are. You have a massive heart that I will kill if anyone hurts it!! That's a promise. You are the kind of friend I've been looking for. Thank you for wiping my tears and making me laugh. I love you best friend.



Tuckity Tuck Tuck- You were the only one that was truly there and experienced life with me. You were my shoulder to cry on and you never left my side. I lost a part of me the day you had to go. And I think about you every day. It still hurts to talk about. You're in a better place now and I know you're happier. I love you with all of my heart. Thank you for being my everything.

"I never said it would be easy, I just said it would be worth it..."