Is it my turn yet?

I went for my last appointment with the RE this morning - it went so well.  The baby is doing great - measuring perfectly and has a great heartbeat.  The RE said he is sure he will not see again - but he wanted me to keep him updated on the process.  John will see him because his daughter goes to school where John works.

So next Thursday I will have my first OB appointment - I will ask him to use a doppler just so I can hear the heartbeat - I highly doubt I will get an ultrasound - it is just that last time the baby had no heartbeat at 11weeks so I really want to hear the heartbeat next Thursday.  I also have a hemo doctor appointment on Tuesday.  I will be getting a new Hemo Doctor - so this will be my last appointment with her as well - I am going to miss all my wonderful doctors.

I will have to find a new OB as well because my OB is not delivering babies after August 1st which totally sucks - he has some people in his practice so I am going to talk to him and see what he says.  Just happy today that the baby is doing so well.

Here is a picture of my little peanut he or she is facing downward:

I woke up this morning to very tragic news - one of my childhood friends passed away yesterday.  He was only 29 years old - he was married and had two children.  Apparently him and his wife were separated and his wife started seeing another man and he could not take it so he took his own life.

He was my next door neighbor and my brother and I grew up with him - him and I were also together for a summer back when I turned 18 years old.  Such sad news.

I was out shopping for a birthday present for my best friend who's 30th birthday is today and I was at Burlington Coat Factory and I stubbled upon their maternity section and they were having a clearance - so I bought two pairs of work pants and two work shirt for $ 28 total - you cannot beat that - but then I got scared like maybe I should not of done it - maybe I am going to jinx myself - but none of my clothes fit and I do not like anything tight on my belly with all the bruises from the Lovenox injections.  My husband said they do not even look like maternity clothes and you could not tell and I wore an outfit today and I have to say I am so so comfortable in it.

My sickness is slowly going away - it is not too bad now - but I am still super tired all of the time and have been having some cramping - but I think that is pretty normal as the baby grows.  I am also getting uncomfortable at night - so I may invest in a pregnancy pillow soon - I want to hold off only buying much things until the first trimester is over - but why be uncomfortable.

I get to see my little peanut again on Thursday morning - praying all looks good - I will be 10 weeks that day.

The spotting stopped yesterday afternoon.  I am trying to remain as calm as possible - if I am upset and stressed out then so is the baby and that is not good.  I will concentrate on the positive - the baby is measuring perfectly and the heart was beating away.  I did read online that when the baby is going from being an embryo to a fetus - right around 9 weeks - they enbed and sometimes that causes spotting - so maybe that is what it is.

I am just basically going to stay in most of this summer.  I will go to work and that is all.  John will do a major food shopping order this week - that way I will start bringing my lunches to work instead of going out and getting them and we will start making some crock-pot meals for dinner - so they are easy for both of us - if anyone has any crock-pot recipes please share them with me.

I just have to make it throught he next 3 weeks - then I will be out of the first trimester - I know I still have a long road after that but I feel like maybe I will be able to breath again after the first trimester has passed.  What is going to be is going to be - I am doing every single thing possible to have this be a healthy pregnancy.  All I can do now is wait and pray.  Thank you for all the love and support and well wishes - they mean so much to me and really helped me get through yesterday.

Today is our 5 year wedding anniversary - we are not doing gifts - we will just order in and watch a movie.  I am just happy to be spending time with my husband.  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I will be laying low all weekend with a good book.

I started spotting last night - I was so very scared.  This happened at the exact same time in the last pregnancy and then two weeks later the baby had no heartbeat.  I am praying this time is different.  I went in this morning for my normally scheduled ultrasound and bloodwork at the RE office.  The baby looks good - measuring at 23 which I am told is normal for 9 weeks and the heart was beating away - they said they could not find a source of the bleeding.  I met with the RE and he said that I have a less than 1% chance of miscarrying - I told him he told me that last time too.  He said he wanted me in bed until the bleeding had stopped so I took off of work today.  The bleeding has stopped - but I am very crampy and I do not have the morning sickness to bad anymore.  The RE said for John to take my shoes because he does not want me doing anything or going anywhere - I am allowed to go to work only and that is it.  He said he does not see lightening stricking twice for us.  I have another ultrasound next Thursday - so we just have to wait and see what happens.  Please keep us in your prayers and pray my little peanut is a fighter and what happened last year is not happening to us again.

I think I have done enough complaining for one week - this post is going to be all about what I am grateful for.

First and foremost - I am so very grateful to be pregnant with a healthy little baby.  I had my 8 week ultrasound today and the baby is measuring at 16.1 - they wanted to see the baby between 15 and 17 - so he/she is measuring perfectly.  I saw the heartbeat just beating away and everything looks good.  I also made my first OB appointment for July 7th.  Even though I am sick - it means the baby is growing and doing well so it is all worth it.

Second - I have to say how very grateful I am for my husband - I do not know what I would do without him - he has stepped up and is really taken great care of me.  He gives me my shots and makes sure the medicine is always refilled.  He cooks me dinner and does the wash and the food shopping.  I am so happy after all these years that we finally get to start a family together.

Third - I am grateful for my cat - he is so cute and so loving and he just snuggles next to me everyday when I take my naps.

Fourth - I am grateful for our jobs - I know in this economy - we are so lucky to have good jobs that pay well and have benefits.

Fifth - Family and Friends - I just found out my brother will most certainly be coming home for my birthday in August - I am so excited to see him - it has been almost two years - he is making Staff Sergent this summer and I am so very proud of him.  My cousin Ricky - he has been by my side through it all and I know I can always count on him - and even though I do not have alot of family - I have really great friends.

There is so much more I am grateful for - those are just my top five for now.  Lastly I leave you with my latest ultrasound picture - the picture is not the best quality but you can see my little peanut.

I just found out on Saturday - they were not trying but they are happy.  She is due Feb. 15th.  Only three weeks behind me.  They were not trying - it just happened.

I have mixed feelings about this - on one hand I think it is a great because her and I are pretty close and our husbands are best friends and they will be so close in age and grow up together and hopefully be best friends.

On the other hand - can't I ever be pregnant by myself??  I know it sounds selfish - but John and I have been trying for so long and I just want our time and our baby's time to shine and now it is going to be overcast by her pregnancy.

Second reason I am slightly sad/upset/whatever you want to call it - is because last time I was pregnant this same thing happened - John younger sister got pregnant one month behind me and then I lost the baby and had to watch her belly grow and go to the baby shower and watch her have this adorable little boy - and while I was happy for her - I was sad for me.  What if it happens again - is all I can think - what if I lose the baby again and have to watch another one of his sister give birth right around the same time I would.  I do not think I could handle that at all.

Also she was talking about having a joint baby shower - I am thinking no way - but I have no women on my side of the family - so it will mostly be her/my husband's family at the shower - so then being the jealous one I am I think they will shower her more because she is actually part of the family and I am an inlaw.  I know crazy selfish talk.

I know I am being crazy - I know it will all work out in the end and it will be great to for my baby to have someone to grow up with.  But I can see the comparisons already happening - I wish I could just be pregnant on my own or she could be at least 6 months behind me or something.

I guess this is the selfish rant of the day.

Women truly are super heros in my book - I have no clue how women have mulitple pregnancy - there is no way I could be this sick and take care of children - there is just no way.  I do not know how people do it.  I was so sick this weekend.  I had to leave work early on Friday and I did not come into work yesterday - I just could not get out of bed - I was so weak and tried.  I called my OB to ask for some medicine but he said no - he told me to drink cold Gatorade and water ice??

In other news he did say he will want me to see a MFM in addition to seeing him.  He was asking me if I would consent to receiving blood if I bleed out and talking about inducing me at 39 weeks.  This is all a little too much for me - I am only 7 weeks pregnancy and he is already talking about the labor - but I guess he just wants to have a plan in place.  I will see him for the first time in July and then get a referral to meet with the MFM.  Lots of doctors.  We also picked a hospital which is a good thing - we are going with the one that is closest to our house - that makes the most sense.

I am feeling pretty good.  I do have some sickness - but it is not to bad yet.  I am super tired all of the time still and have been taking naps everyday.  All I can do it go to work and that is basically it for right now.  I am hungry all of the time but I am too tried and sick to cook.  These are the times when I miss my mom - because I know if my mom was still alive she would be making dinners for me.  John has no cooking skills whatsoever.  I am getting Olive Garden take out for dinner tonight.

I think I have decided that I will call my OB and ask for a telephone conference to see if he thinks he is qualified to deal with my pregnancy and if he has dealt with women on Lovenox before.  I think I am also going to make an appointment to speak with a MFM - just to see what they have to say.  Now the big decision is which hospital to go to.

I also have to think about setting up an NT Scan for 12 weeks or so and look into daycares and birthing classes. 

I still have not decided if I am going to breast feed or not yet but I know my birthing plan is to have the baby in the hospital with as much drugs as possible.

I will go in next Thursday for my next ultrasound.  Cannot wait to see my little peanut again.

Everything looks good - the baby has a heartbeat of 130 and is measuring perfectly.  Apparently last time at this stage in my pregancy the baby was only measuring at a 1.5 and they like to see at least a 4 - at this point in this pregnancy - my little peanut is at a 7.2.

They said my blood pressure was a little low 80/62 and I need to drink more water.  The RE is going to keep me as long as possible - but does want me to make an appointment with my OB for sometime in July.

Now we have to try and decide if we should see a MFM - my RE and Hemo doctor both said it is not necessary but if we feel more comfortable then it is up to us.  John and I still have to talk about it.

I also met with my Hemo Doctor today and found out she is leaving the practice to focus more on research - I am so bummed - I really like her.  But all my bloodwork looks good and I do not have to come back for a month.  Apparently John has been giving me the needles the wrong way and that is why I am so badly bruised.

My friend is going to let me borrow her doppler - so I will try and get it from her next weekend so we can hear the baby's heartbeat all of the time.

I am very happy with the way today went.

I am so nervous about tomorrow's ultrasound - I really hope there is a heartbeat.

I have not been feeling so great - maybe I spoke too soon and the morning sickness and it is kicking in but my stomach is just mildly upset right now and smells are bothering me.

The Lovenox injections are kicking my arse - my stomach is so bruised and it is so sore.

The concert was great last night we had great seats and I got to touch Jonathan Knight's hand and Joey was so close to us - it was great.

Please send a good thoughts or prayers that everything goes well tomorrow.

Here are some pictures from last night.

So far so good with this pregnancy.  Last time I got morning sickness at exactly 5 weeks - so far I have not had any morning sickness with this pregnancy which I am very thankful for and have to credit some of that to acupuncture.

I am basically like a newborn all I want to do is sleep and eat.  I have decided that I have to go off of my gluten free diet right now - it is just to difficult for me being hungry all the time and I want things with gluten in them - I am going to try and limit my gluten intake as much as possible because I do not want to get sick again - but I have decided I cannot avoid it all together right now.  Baby want cheeseburgers - LOL.

I am very tired - to the point that is just crazy.  I come home every day after work and immediately have to take a nap - for at least two hours.  Then I have to be in bed by 9 pm every night and two days ago - I went into work an hour late just so I could sleep in a bit.  I do not mind though because hopefully it means that the baby is growing and doing well.

I am starting to get a little excited - John said he will feel better about the baby once we hear the heartbeat.  I am so nervous about Tuesday's ultrasound.  I pray we hear the heartbeat.  I hope my baby is doing well.  I am listen to my body and basically doing nothing other than working. 

My platelets and hemogolbins are still doing great.  The Lovenox still sucks - but as I like to say to John - this is a piece of cake compare to what childbirth is going to be.

I am going to the New Kids on the Block / Backstreet Boys concert this Sunday - which I am so excited about - I have wanted to see NKOTB in concert since I was 12 years old - and they are singing all of their old songs - we have pretty good seats so I hope to get some pictures.