Well, somehow, in the past few weeks, I have gone from being eternally single and accepting of the fact that I would be a virgin forever, to being in the position where as soon as I decide I am ready, I can have sex. My brain is having a little difficulty processing the situation.
A few days after the evening at his place which I described in my last post, I went for dinner at his again. We made out again, for a long time, and this time when tried to expose my nipples I let him. He then spent what felt like forever sucking, licking and kissing my breasts and nipples, and I surprised myself with how turned on I got. This time when he mentioned staying over I agreed - he was very clear there was no expectation that I would go any further, and I felt completely comfortable with him. So I shared a bed with a man for the first time ever. The combination of being in a strange bed, and waking up a couple of times to make out, meant I got hardly any sleep, but the sheer bliss of having lain in someone's arms meant I didn't care.
Since then I have spent a few nights at his place and things have progressed bit by bit. He has always respected my wishes on how far to go and has stopped immediately if I have said no. He has given me oral sex, he has masturbated me, he has given me numerous orgasms. One night he went to take off his underwear to which I reacted by exclaiming "no, no, no" in a perhaps slightly over dramatic way.
That night I decided I really needed (and wanted) to tell him about my virginity, so that he would understand if I was slow or reluctant to do certain things. I took me quite a while to work up to saying it, and I repeated the words over and over in my head many times, before managing, in the dark in the middle of the night, to say that I needed to tell him something, but that I wasn't sure if I could get the words out. He made an expectant sort of noise and I said this might take a while, but it actually didn't as a few seconds later I blurted out "I've never done this before".
And his reaction was wonderful, in that there really wasn't one - he didn't freak out, he didn't tell me I was weird, he didn't sound shocked. I was so surprised that I did ask him if he'd heard me, and then if he'd understood, but he assured me he had and said it wasn't a problem. The next evening he sent me the sweetest text telling me that it's not a problem, that all women are different, are ready to have sex at different times, that he knows sex involves certain emotions for women that it doesn't for men and that it should happen when I am comfortable. I could have cried. He has said by text that he does want to have sex with me, to which I said he might have to wait a little longer. His response was there's no hurry, whenever I am ready.
A few days ago he gently moved my hand towards his penis and I rubbed it a little, then the last night I spent with him gave him two hand jobs - it felt very very odd to be doing it but also really good to be pleasing him. I am feeling like I am getting closer and closer to feeling ready to have sex with him.
In non virginity news, we're also getting on great outside the bedroom. There's lots of laughter, lots of talking and lots of sweetness. All in all I am feeling pretty content at the moment.
Tuesday, 24 January 2017
Thursday, 12 January 2017
Unexpected but very welcome
I started to write an update on events with shy guy last week, which was turning into quite a lengthy post. Before I had chance to finish and publish it, things have moved on somewhat.
To sum up what happened before last weekend - we've been out for dinner and drinks a couple of times, we both pretty much confessed we are interested in more than friendship, and as I went to get out of the taxi at my place after the second dinner I reached out my hand and he took it and caressed it. I texted him to tell him not to be so shy next time and he said he wouldn't be.
I went to his flat on Saturday night for dinner. He cooked and he had a candle on the dining table. We had a couple of cocktails and then some wine. We put on a DVD and he took hold of my hand and kept hold of throughout the film. When the film finished he put his arm round me and stroked my hand and arm and then he kissed me. And kept kissing me. He kissed my lips, my neck, my collarbone and my breasts through my clothes, and my stomach after my shirt rode up while we were kissing. At one point he suggested moving to the bedroom as there was more room than on the sofa but I said no and he was fine with that. Initially it felt odd to be being kissed and I wasn't entirely sure what to do but I just followed his lead, and it did start to feel quite natural. And very enjoyable.
We sat and chatted for a while, and there was then some more kissing. Well, to be accurate, lots more kissing. It got to around 2am, we had been lying cuddling on the sofa for ages, and I said I needed to go home. He invited me to stay the night, but was clear that he wasn't expecting sex, and just wanted to sleep next to me. I said no, and joked about having a nice comfy bed of my own at home. He said I could have the bed and he would sleep on the sofa, but I said no again. Part of me was tempted to stay, but I also felt I needed some time to process what had happened that evening before going a step further and sleeping in the same bed as him. He called for a taxi for me and when it arrived came outside with me and kissed me goodbye.
We sat and chatted for a while, and there was then some more kissing. Well, to be accurate, lots more kissing. It got to around 2am, we had been lying cuddling on the sofa for ages, and I said I needed to go home. He invited me to stay the night, but was clear that he wasn't expecting sex, and just wanted to sleep next to me. I said no, and joked about having a nice comfy bed of my own at home. He said I could have the bed and he would sleep on the sofa, but I said no again. Part of me was tempted to stay, but I also felt I needed some time to process what had happened that evening before going a step further and sleeping in the same bed as him. He called for a taxi for me and when it arrived came outside with me and kissed me goodbye.
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