Thursday, May 26, 2016
It's not always that one can have the best of both worlds right?
I know that thinking this way is wrong and stuff but I can't stop myself from feeling like this can I? Hahaha oh wells. At least now I'm less confused
-thoughts of an Asshole
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
I've never forgotten, it just remains at the back of my mind. It's already been 3 years since you've been gone. I don't really have much to say or ask cos I've already left TP but I still treasure the times I had spent with you.
I hope you have been well I myself am doing pretty good over here in the USA. Everytime I watch the video of KS embarrassing himself in front of everyone, I get reminded of how much fun it is to have you around.
I still wish that I had made time to meet you that night. It's something that I'll never forget and it's taught me to always make time for the people that matter.
I'll come by to visit you when I'm back next year
Gone but not forgotten.
Miss you Isaac.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
This silly little blog which I started way back then... Kinda feeling compelled to update it now...
I'm just gonna fill it up with content that if you are reading you would most like know already.haha
So it's my first post of 2015? Maybe the last? One can't be too sure yeah?
How has my new year been so far?
Well for one it's more or less confirmed that yours truly will be heading to America this march for over a year.
Too be honest, it's hard not to be excited though I seem to be doing a pretty fantastic job of containing it. Should I show more excitment?hehe
Anyways yes, I had a pretty mundane new year this year, well mundane compared to how I've spent the previous new years. Though spending time with friends whom I haven't really seen in awhile due to other commitments.
It was fun talking about Joshua and his experiences in Cambodia was it? or Myanmmar. Oops wasn't really paying attention I guess.HAHA.
Anyways hopefully 2015 will be a great year.
Throwback to 2014
After much delay, the SAF has finally decided that they want me..damnit.. thankfully the RSAF has saved my fat ass from experience the army.
I'm pretty happy being in HR. It's really interesting working with people. I kinda enjoy working with almost everyone. Keyword being almost yeah (; that's all that shall be mentioned about such people.. :D
Also my writing has zero structure so forgive if you have to work out just what exactly I'm talking about.
Recently my old Trexx friends have started doing camps again and it kinda bums me out that I can't do it with them. What with new people and all, kinda feels like you're getting left out. Though I don't really blame them I guess.
Anyways hope I get to meet up with all the people I want to see before march comes. Cos I'm kinda tempted to use my leave to travel America rather than fly back home.
Ok this is enough of this nonsensical irrelavant unstructured blogpot.
Hello WQ.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
So I haven't seen her in about a month and nowadays we talk through social media more which is good and bad I guess.
Anyways..
I sometimes wonder if I'm coming of as the creepy, sticky, & over sensitive guy.
So I was watching this video by WONGFU titled she has a girlfriend or well at least something along those lines.
Now in the video they say that for relationships to work out, thousands of variables have to align to bring two people together. That in itself sounds like an amazing feat yet at the same time somewhat depressing.
However at the end of the video, it mentioned that sometimes things may just never work out and someday someone better will come along. Maybe then those variables will line up maybe they won't who knows?
If she's happy or if there's someone who can make her happy, I guess it's ok even if that someone isn't me (:
#thinkingtoomuch #goingtobedat730
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
So recently I went out with this girl.
We've always talked on whatsapp before but we've never actually spent much time getting to know each other in person.
So just last week I spent 4 days straight with her. Wednesday with her and a friend, Thursdays at Nex, Friday at Gardens by the bay and Sat at her place cooking.
So yeah, she means a lot to me. What exactly I myself can't figure it out. Wonder what I mean to her...
We started getting close late last year. I guess it was after F1 job perhaps? Here's the things, barely a year into poly and she's already had things going on with many other people. Mr dancer, Mr forehead, Mr Italian and then there's mr mascot. ( not their real names ).
So Mr dancer chased her for awhile and I think she was slightly interested in him but nothing much came out of it.
Mr forehead however seemed like a nice dude but was never really serious about it, though his actions may have proved otherwise. Long story short, she started to like him and because he wasn't serious about her, just left her there.
Mr Italian was pretty much the same thing, though he moved on rather quickly to someone else. Can't say I know him very well, but I know him enough to know that he moves on pretty quickly when it comes to chasing girls.
Now there's the most recent one, Mr mascot. He was just a EC to her but it all changed when he asked her for her number. They went on 2 dates one of which was on valentines day. After that however he stopped talking to her and then gave her some sob story which IMO is a load of bull.
So now, none of this as you can see is her fault but is it all to blame on just bad luck?
From what I see she goes out with guys even if she's not interested in them and it's kinda mean to lead people on. I hate it when people do that, don't ask why.
So my point is assuming I do end up liking her one day. Who's to say that the same thing won't happen to me? I'm not so sure right now if I could handle that kind of disappointment...
Also I realized that we talk more on our phones via texts/whatsapp etc etc more than we actually do in real life. So maybe I should try to talk to her more in real life and less on the phone.
Well who knows, for all I know I may just be nothing more than a friend to her and end up being a fool.
But I just wanna say, that even after all this.
She means a lot to me.
And I kinda miss her, although I won't admit that. Well not to her at least.heh
Oh and she smells nice which is always good no? (;
#latenightthoughts #overthinking
I hope that whoever stumbles upon this keep it to themselves. I don't want people to judge me based on my dark thoughts and if I ever gave you the link to my blog you are important to me. #trust
It's 3:50am
Goodnight
Monday, February 17, 2014
I wish for many things, things I wish I didn't have to wish for.
6am in the morning and it has dawned on me that this rate, I have nothing to show for the past 10 years. By 2020 what would I have gained.
I'm still in the midst of figuring out what I want to do with my life.
I've had a few ideas of going into the restaurant business. But right now they're just ideas. And even then, I don't know if people will take me seriously.
I've got way too much shit going on in my head. And I've never been good at writing down my thoughts.
Which is why all my post have no structure of any sort and it's all messed up. Just like my head.
I need to do something, because compared to plenty of people, I live a pretty decent life.
Financially I'm not the richest but I have enough.
A mother who is always supportive. Even if she hides her disappointment from me.
A prideful Father who tries to teach me the harsh realities of the world but not in the best ways sometime.
But most importantly my family is intact.
Something that occurred to me in poly is that many people in Poly come from troubled families and seperated families. I'm not saying those people are bad or 2nd rate.
But to me, they have plenty of reasons to fail yet they somehow succeed through all these hardships
Yet I have every reason to succeed but I some how manage to fuck things up.
What am I going to do with my life..
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Was talking with melody on whatsapp just last night. We don't really know each other very well but I've always admired certain aspects about her. She asked me for my opinion on her as she wanted to improve herself so then I started thinking you know, I couldn't think of anything bad to say about her, which just goes to show how well I know her I guess.
She has always come across to me as someone who's kinda quirky. She ain't exactly the most normal person I know lets just say. I could never understand her and I never knew what to expect from her.
So I thought, maybe I should ask her for her opinion on me. I knew that she wouldn't sugarcoat her words and that she would honestly tell me what she thought of me, and to be honest, I was blown away and ever so slightly enlightened.
She said that I seemed like someone who doesn't really let people into my life.
It's somewhat true and I couldn't think of anything to deny that statement.
So then I started to think, why am I like that because it's not as if I'm a loner or anything.
My mind was constantly flooded with thoughts trying to think of why I was what I was.
So I thought of a few reasons as to why I might be what I am.
Growing up, I never really had a childhood friend per say. I was pretty much by myself despite having an elder brother only 3 years apart. We were never particularly close, even now.
I never really talked about my problems with anyone growing up, most of whatever I went through I kept to myself and even now I still do that.
Another reason was that I found it hard to trust people.
Actually it's more of I was always doubting people which wound up me not trusting them.
Like we could be really good friends but there's always a part of me that thinks that they probably don't really like me that much.
This made me really sensitive to certain things like if and when they make an unpleasant remark and even though they are just joking, I tend to think that maybe they secretly don't like me. I've always hated this aspect about myself but it I wasn't always like this.
I can't really say the reason but it happened a long time ago and I guess I never fully moved on.
There's still a bunch of other thoughts going on in my head but this is what I kind put into words.
I don't really know how to make sense of the other stuff.
Well here's to figuring out my thoughts and myself
cheers ~