I have moved! Click on my new link there! #.♥

I Have Moved to http://wishinggx.blogspot.com! ;D

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Take time to THINK ;
It is the source of wisdom.
Take time to DREAM ;
It is the fountain of the future.

Take time to REFLECT ;
It is the way to know God.
Take time to SMILE ;
It is the round of happiness.

Take time to LAUGH ;
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to LOVE ;
It is God's greatest gift.

Take time to PRAY;
It is the greatest power on earth (:

these are words, wise words.
i wanna try, and absorb them.
i wan to try, to use them.

Amen :X

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i'm feeling a mixture of feelings inside me.
sadness, depression, frustration, confusion,
panick, worries, longing.
it's like, all mixed inside me.
but it's not blending.
it's making me feel very uncomfortable.

AGNES had been asking me,
"why do you always listen to those sad sad songs,
like those broken relationships and depressing ones"

the answer is:
i dont even know that, even if you ask me.

"why do you always look at the floor when you walk"
it's said that people who have low self esteem walk like that.
i dont dare to look at other people, how do i have confidence?

my skills on clarinet.
it totally sucks.
i need hell load of practice.
i need help ):
i need God's help.
i hope God guide me along this,
and i pray that i'll overcome it.

tired.
very tired.
there's alot of things not done.
how do i cope..?

i wanna be happy.
i wanna stay joyful
but i cant seem to keep that smile on my face.

maybe i shld try to think positive,
i shall not pretend anymore.
i dont wanna lie to myself any longer.

cant i stop keeping things to myself?
i cant concerntrate on things.
i hope i can pay off my debts soon.
i tink i've got about $10 now?
i think i can still survive on plain water now.

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god, i dont even know
how mani times exactly
that i cried today.

mm..i 1 week get $15.
so if i dun spend that $15 a week..
a month, i can get about $45..
@@ wow.
if i DO eat.
i only can spend like $1 everyday.
so $10 a week.
and $30 a month :D
enough to pay off my phone bills :X

my stomach hurts.
mm..

feeling abit down lately.
wonder wads bothering me exactly.

i tink,i wanna break wif keok keong.
so many days no sms liaos.
i think i dont care liao :X
seriously, i rather concertrate on my studies.

i think my results are falling behind.
i wanna get a change of seat in class also.
i cant focus.
the people beside me and behind me,
are far too noisy.

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i dont like you.
seriously, i dont.
im not enjoying.

i dont wanna talk about band today.
seriously.

today Mr Choong said that he's gona
retire from teaching next term.
ya, and he just taught my class for 2months.

i scored 23marks over 25 in bio test.
failed history.
passed lite wit 16/25
passed maths wit 19/25
and geo, i forgot.

gona watch romantic princess ltr.
agnes didnt come my hse do home econ.
i duno le, seriously, i duno liaos.

im not happi today.
i cried 2 times.
twice, over something silly.

one was when i made a mistake.
reuben said hi to me.
but i thought he angry cux he was shouting.
ya and then i go back class.
ask elvira about it.
seriously speaking, im afraid of reuben.

second one, i shall not tell.
no point wad.

lastly, i shall end off this post.
cux im not in a mood to actually blog
about what happened today.

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im beginning to hate my class's boys already.
especially those that talks about me behind my back.
yup. seriously.

today mr neo was on the announment.
u noe wad he say?
"there's a swarm of angry bees."
ALL THE PEOPLE IN BAND WAS LAUGHING LIKE SIAO GE LANGS.
omg, cux he sounded..okay nvm lets nt say him.
hahas, ya, it was dam funni.
the way he said it :X lmaos.!

i did badly for chinese compo test today.
i went off topic from the beginning.
and there's the chem test today.
last question, i left it blank.
i forgot how to test for hydrogen =="

mm..tmr got physics test.
today got maths homework.
must do literature nppa soon.
like..today @@.

tmr got morning reverie.
im super duper tired now.
shall slp early today.
gona take bus tmr i tink.
if nt..then lidat, take mrt.

paid off yuhuan's debt of $3.10
still owes mam clara $4.50.
mam yanfang $2.50
(neoprints de money)
and erm..natasha, with i forgot how much.
jody with $.4.20 for LJS de.

i cant seem to sign in to msn.
weird eh?
romantic princess rocks to the core :X

omg..5 periods of mdm faridah.
CAN DIE x.x
mm..still got alot of things not done.
I HOPE GOT ASSEMBLY AH I TELL U.
i rather sit there and let my leg go numb,
than keep dozing off during mdm faridah's class.

band sounded horrible today.
but i was in tune :/
i was playing rather erm. okay.
except the running notes up scale parts @@.
i nidda practice. ALOT.
on kaze no mai, evergreen 70s, animation medley(god i still duno hw to play them)
and wads the other score..i forgot ._.
stick figures! (okay this one is okay.)

why cant i apply my counting on the scores
when there's those notes eh?
i know my basics, i know how to count.
but why cant i apply it on the scores
why?
and why my tone colour lidat.
i seriously nid to change it.
sitting inbtween mam zf and sir wb today was great.
erm, at least i can actually hear wad im playing.

finished my dinner.
still hungry.
i tink i "fai re"
heaty..
serious. :X

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today was a great day-and a bad day.

firstly to start off.
i went to sch, and reach at arnd 7.45am lmaos.
mm..and then i looked like a spaced out emo kia.
serious. (cux agnes told me so)
the only lesson i enjoyed today was home econ :X
I LOVE THE PANCAKES I MADE
(even though they taste and look like cake)
*thats what mdm faridah said*

natasha's one all taste like pancakes.
mine taste like cake ._. super duper look like cake also.

okay so i went to band aft all the eating,tasting, and washing up.
mm..and then we went to century square.
TO TAKE NEOPRINTS!
to think, aft so mani years.
this is the first time i took neoprints wif mam mandy,mam yanfang
and mam clara @@..
(okay, mayb i onli knew mam yanfang for 1yr, but mam clara and mam mandy
veri long liao hor. from P5 lidat till now.)

yup. it was nice to start off with.

and then this had to happen.

THIS STUPID BANGALA PERSON WHO CLAIMS HE IS A TEACHER.
ACTUALLY WENT TO CUT IN BETWEEN ME AND MAM CLARA THEY ALL.
WHEN WE QUEUING UP IN THE QUEUE FOR BUS 293.

u noe wad happen?
mam clara ask me go there mah
cux dis fat bangala block the road, seperate the grp mahs.
then i go lurh.
then this bangala was like
"excuse me girl."
then talk crap la.
say wad i cut queue then mam mandy ask me go back wad.
i just go back to my original spot.
then this idiotic bangala rite
he suddenly out of nowhere scold mam clara.
he scold her "silly girl", "dumbo" , and "idiot"
i was like, wth?!
u noe is like, she alr okay liao.
we okay liao.
then this stupid bangala had to just trigger the signal.
he scold mam clara all this
then mam clara just shoot back wad.
no vulgar though ( we in sch uni)
somemore is his fault he cut in lurh.
say wad i cut queue. he at there extra one kind can.
i go back liao he still not happi.
then say alot of crap lurh
(pls refer to mam clara's blog for more details; if she posted it)
then hor
the worst thing is.
THAT BANGALA ACTUALLY SLPT IN THE BUS AFT THIS QUARRELL.
im like. wth? WHR GOT PPL ANGRY LIAO THEN SLP ONE.
KE SIAO AH?
HE COME FROM IMH ISIT.
WALAO EH, TINK HE BIG AH
(even my dad agrees on the tings i said can. he kip defending for my side)
wad he teacher, my foot lur
teacher whr got tis kind of attitude one.
some 30+ bangala quarell wif some 14-15 girls.
siao ah? so immuture ah.
cut queue then cut la, like as if ppl nvr cut before.
think we small can bully us. make himself so embarrassing as an adult can.
to start off, its his fault he scolded my senior.
IF I WASNT IN SCH UNIFORM AH.
i tell u, i shoot everything at him liao.
all the vulgar come out. i gurantee u.

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mm..watching romantic princess :D
its damn nice to me.
the ost is called Xin Wo..
i haf the song lahs.
lalalas.

mm..got band today.
we did footdrills.
i tell u.
sectionals/practice was in a mess today.
somehow.
my ideal sectionals aint the same as their.

clarinet section was oh-so-out-of-tune.
and then they wanted a combine with flute,piccolo and alto sax.
i was like. wth?
somemore, the counting.
the tempo changed.
it went faster and faster cans.
im like, i duno how they play...

we did voodoo score today.
erm..exciting..abit.
thrilling..nt at all.
i mean, there was so few people there.
u imagine.

clarinet section onli got 5 people.
4 sec 2s, 1 sec 4.
(including me inside)
then no tuba. NO TUBA!
2 ufornium players(duno hw spell)
3 bassoon players O.O (sir weijie came back)
2 bass clarinet players.
(and another bass instrument i duno call wad. mam fiona plays it)

1 flute 1 piccolo. player each.
1 alot sax, 1 tenor sax, 1 barritone sax player each.
around..4 cornets players..?
(cheryl, mam steffini,filzah,another cornet senior)
about 3 french horn players(excluding weeyah(duno hw to spell) who goes off early)
(mam jessica,mam filzah,sir sean)
5 percussion players.

mm..rather small cans.
got 16 sec 2s there.
then some seniors nvr come.
supponsingly can haf 7 clarinet players.
then they nvr come.

hais..tired.
well..time to watch romantic princess.

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mm..i watched L change the world today.
it was so bloody nice.- except for the ending.
im like, so obsessed with L @@.
he's like..
so super duper fantastically awesomely COOL!! :D
(i duno if those word exist)

if i can watch it again...
(without any money spent)
i will watch everything from death note 1 to this movie :X
(oya i used the movie voucher today. one of it anyway)

i shant be a spoiler and i shant tell you the plot of this movie.
@@

mm..i rmb ytd..
i buying mineral water from the stall.
then i held a tissue on my right hand.
and a $1 coin on the left hand.
i intended to hand the $1 coin to the uncle.
instead, my right hand moved.
erm..and the reaction of the whole scene was like..

uncle: uh?
me : EHH??
*me paiseh paiseh, then take back tissue gif uncle coin*
-runs off and forgot to take the change, took mineral water-
*suddenly remembers about the change*
-runs back to the uncle-
me: er...thanks..
-takes the changes and run to the dustbin to throw tissue away-

the whole time i was veri paiseh =="
dam blur la omg..

btw, the sec3s will be having camp.
i tink they alr having camp now.
so tmr, no sec 3 will be around ._.
and then i will be like....
-OMG OMG NO SEC 3 SENIORS!!!!-
*goes mad because there's only 6 clarinetist*

tmr doing drills liaos.
omg i duno hw to do! die die die @@...
i forgot those commands le..........damn..

mm..alot alot homework lurhs.
P.E was OKAY today..

totally tired.
shall slp early today..
tmr got band lurhs @@..
-omg im gona die..AHHHHHHHH!!!......-
(and u could actually hear the echo of the screaming)

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mm.. been busy nowadays.
came home late everyday @@.
today chat wif suyi lurhs.
mm..for like 2hours++ :X

nth much to say la...
xingyi got transferred to string bass ):
my junior T.T but its for her own good la @@.
mm..ya..lidat lurhs.

bored la. wan slp le.
tired siahs.
onli sunday can rest lidat.
today i took a day off from band lurh..

my clarinet veri hard to blow lehs.
then hor, my mouth there got mark le.
teeth mark. cux play clarinet mahs.
tmr duno hw im gona plae.
mouth pain..my finger got plaster, oso pain.
cux erm..i got a cut duno from whr @@

mm.. i tink dar de fone ppc no money liao @@
call oso say cmi de. lmaos. (x
dun care lahs.
shall slp soon..like. 9pm lidat.

oyasuminasai in advance.

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mm..at sch now.
okay la. @@ didnt get so much laughing from classmates today.
eee..they nvr check today.
tmr then check lurhs, so wad lurh...

mm..tired. in com. lab.
mdm faridah say must do at least 6 pages.
maximium 10 pages of home econ project.
im like..wth? i alr print out 5 pages liao.
now tell me nid to go 6 pages.
i am like wtf lah.

mm..gtg bahs.
blog ltr.

btw im restricted to only 2hours of com.

mm..dar off day today.
slping bahs. lmaos.

mayb going band. who knows :X

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:/ the bois i ask my fringe nice anot one all say dont suit me.
girls i ask de say my fringe suit me.
some girls say previous one nicer.
most bois say previous one nicer.
(the long long fringe that covers my eye, reach my mouth)

i duno le la..
abit sad lurh :/ now i guess i look like shit lurh.
beginning to think whether they say my fringe nice fake or anot.
some say okay,some say nice, some say not nice, i duno le la.
mam jamila say nice, but i oso duno lurhs..
i duno la i duno la!
go sch sure kena laughed at le lurh.
sure de lurh.
dam sad now can. feel like crying.
it's like i look so fugly nw or smth.
jody said it was nice, but i duno la..
hais.

anws today mr samad talked to me.
i tink he not so angry at me le.
he smile at me oso.
he made the figure from bluetack,
the voodoo figure dam cute lurh.
hahas.

my concerto abit weird.
they say maybe nid send for repair or smth.
cux the pad inbetween the holes duno wad happen.
then got this buzzing sound when i play.
it 's because the saliva stuck there veri long
this clarinet use veri long le, seniors pass to juniors de.
mam aihui say 10yrs+ le, maybe thats wad she said.
i cant rmb..

we ran through kaze no mai today.
the whole score.
and part of animation medley, evergreen 70s and ambitious japan.

depressed.
sad.
thats it. ):

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lol!
my "dar" said "iloveyou" on the fone to me =="
i was like.."wth" lols.

mam clara, mam yf, and mam mandy all say my dis fringe nice.
i duno leh..hmmm..msn and frenster got photo @@..

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today dam tired la.
did i say?
P.E did baton passing.
run..i 1st runner.
must run 2 rounds. extra round..

just went out wif dad buy his handfone lurh
signed up with my name, he take fone
i take the sim card.
i bet he doesnt noe hw to use his fone lurh.
i duno la. its like dam wad lurh.
if u duno my fone number, those who i know la.
you just leave me a msn msg lurh.

anws its a student plan lurhs.
oya i bought the transfer file from fone to com. thingie.
then ya lidat lurh.

just nw dam angri la.
now not le..dun care la.
argh..

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i got my hair; mainly my fringe cut today.
it's dam short now, but below eye brown :X
i look like some ugly china doll person =="

now i gotta tink of a way to tie hair.
@@ i wonder.....
AND TMR GOT BAND
SO PAISEH CAN OMG.
@@...

i dam sure i go sch sure tio laughed at.
and omg, i saw this 2e1 guy change clothes.
i was like.. @@
i cant see properly hu la. but is like..
ya i saw @@
but i shall pretend i nvr see aniting
*act blurs* - must forget musr forget-
but is like, chng shirt onli lurh.

lalalas.bored, tired.
doing home econ @@

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this sucks.
and yet today is valentine's day.

i forgot to bring home my science wkbk.
i cant finish my bio.
im gona be so dead tomorrow.

dam tired.
i guess mr samad is still angry at me.
kaze no mai , i can play till L or smth.
mr samad asked me to blow louder today.
i duno, his tone seemed like he was angry.

tmr wan cut hair le.
my long fringe..gona go..
tmr go band first. 1-2pm.
then go cut hair aft that.
then do home econ project.
god knows where its' gona be at.
and how it's gona come out.
i guess going to my house is the best solution.

oya did u noe. valentine's day is actually
the mark of a saint's death whose name is valentine?
it goes about , becus he marry young couples.
and then their country got into war,
the government wanted all the man to go to war to fight.
then got some couples dowan separate mah.
then valentine married them.
this matter got found out, then something happen
then when this man died, he became a saint lurh
* a saint is someone who did good things, a priest or a nun, wateva
and then died, so they gave them the name as saint.
like st' hilda's primary/secondary school.
it was named after a nun.

enough that..
i nid a break man.
im so damn tired.
I DUN HAF A DECENT SLP OMG.
im dozing off in class more often, more serious now.
what am i gona do?
help....?

leave me here.
i'm not gona be ur crap anymore.
why am i willing to let you treat
me like a spare tire?
i'm a human too.

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sad. am i getting depressed?
feel like crying right now.

am i that scary?
am i that ugly?
i dont know what u're thinking
dont understand you.
dont feel like so too.
just dont avoid me
as much as you do.
dont feel comfortable.
with people avoiding me like that.

got this pile of homework not done yet..
maths got 2..chinese got compo..
hais. im tired le
still haven pack bag
everything not done..
it's gotta be the worst day ever.
and it's alr 12. valentine's day alr.
wad a sad valentine's day for me..
i haf to stay in class to do homework instead.
cant see the band booth for selling things.

i dont know anymore.....

dont wana fly anymore.
it hurts.
i think, my wings hurt.
my soul doesnt wanna go.
my body wouldnt move.
my paper heart just ; torn.

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im so fcuking stressed up.
im doing all my homework now.
ALOT OF IT
all bcux i was so tired i slpt from 6+ till 10+ going 11.

today had band performance.
dam tiring.
i had to clip up my fringe
god, u know how toot it is
somemore i wear THAT specs can.
argh. and my bizzare too big.
AND I CANT EVEN ASK FOR A CHANGE OF SIZE.
and i tink mr samad is still pissed off with me.

my noodles are turning cold.
i dun tink i can go further on..
i wana slp, but i must do work.

having flu and cough now..
dam bad :/
dam stress..
dam annoyed at someone.
kip avoiding me can..making me feel dam uncomfortable.

dar oso nvr reply me whole day today.
at nite msg me and called me
but i slping so i didnt noe.
hais.. :/
tmr is valentines day.
but i cant even leave the classroom.
wad a sad valentines day eh...

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damn tired.
slpt in class...
4am woke up.
slpt at 10pm+

dam itchy,
duno wad bit me.

today i run up and down
so bloody many times.
dam exhausted.
I WAS IN TUNE TODAY
and the band was out of tune.
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN WHENEVER IM IN TUNE?

i hope tmr goes smoothly..
I STILL HAVE MANY SCORES NOT SETTLED.
when i said scores, i meant music scores.
seriously, its like.
i have so much stuff i haven finish doing.

2more days to valentine's day =/
duno la, i dun like valentine's day @@

tmr band day le,
tmr waking up at 4am again...
report to sch by 6.30am lidat.
taking bus at 5.30am.....
may be too early,
but btr early then late rite :X

i reached home around 8pm today.
after i settled down, chng clothes all tis.
it's alr 9pm..i just ate my dinner btw.

it's alr 10pm.
time for bed.
oyasuminasai (:

hahahs. my gan dardar not online :X
still working :/ at hotel @@...

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there's are nothing but lies.
do you think i like it?
i love it?
you are sick , boy.
you aint in your right mind.

argh.
damn it la

i still got piles of homework not done.
but i only need to do chinese for now.

what is the item i love most?

what a stupid chinese question for composition writting.
and then we have to do this stupid NPPA, show and tell thing.
what's wrong with NPPAs like these , you ask.
i find them stupid. just damn stupid.
first, you write, and then you do a show and tell to your class.
and you're supposed to be prepared without a script.
who's stupid idea is this?

argh, im so pissed off.
i dont know what im doing anymore.
just what am i doing?
complaining about some stupid NPPA and COMPO question?

you think i want to live on?
isn't it your wish that i die?
"why not you die right now," you told me .
why not?
what's the point of being sad.
OVER A DEAD ORANG UTAN?

hell, do i care?
no.
if you're related.
maybe i'll just cry abit, then forget it.
why choose to suffer,
and choose the difficult route.
i dont's understand.
neither do i want to.

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argh, im super pissed off.
what have ah meng who is dead,
have got to do with me?

i am by right heartless le.
people are born, they live,
then, after some time when they get old,
they die, so, why cant you get over it?

and i dun even noe who the hell ah meng is.
you just came right up to me and said ah meng died.
so? ah meng died, died la.
there's nothing i can do mahs.
you tell me oso no use right?

i mean, come on lahs.
things that are suppose to happen, already happened.
why do you go about crying whether it's dead or alive?
i dont know la.
i dont sympathize these things.

hate me for all i care.
even if i lose a friend.
i am like that, what can i do?
what can you do?
dont like me then perish.
disappear.
if u cant accept me,
dont talk to me, go away.

dont go too far with your own words.
it's fate that people live, and then die.
am i not right?
dont just go about telling me to die right away.
argh.

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ellos.
ang bao ang bao ah!
i got total $120 :D
wheeeeee :X
but my $40 with aunt.
so i got $80 now $.$
muwahahas. lols.

cny ah cny!
ytd i stayed with my aunt overnight.
i love it there (:
feels more at home :/
so sad..today had to go home T.T
i closer with them..
in toa payoh, my aunt, my couins...
hais..and i slpt there, until veri comfortable.
morning still got ppl sms me =="
hais..i love it there siahs..

ehttoh..it's a bit weird la.
O.o spadeice became my gan dardar.
lol but its nth de lurhs.
idk la..gan de wad :X so nth de.

today i got perfume sprayed all over me :X
(oyah i love their shampoo cans..so nice lurhs)
yup, went to uncle eric's house today.
for lunch, i ate salad..
ya then i saw alot of my cousins.
all mei nu and shuai ge hao bu hao!
yup. all my cousins mei nu and shuai ge :D

hm..bored lurhs.
shall go watch more Blood Plus.

btw, ll oso got watch :X
i made him get addicted to blood plus ><"

and and..a pile of homework left for me to do!
wad to do wad to do...
i shall do finish chinese first.
tmr no maths, no bio, no art :X WHEEE!

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hello hellos (:

so sorry i went MIA-ing yah?
busy :X

today i went out for cny.
to qu "bai nian" (:

but before that...

i chatted with spadeice on the fone
at arnd 12am to 1am lidat.
then aft that i go slp le at 2am.

then i wore that brown striped top/overall tingie
jody bought for me :D with the necklace :)
and then i tie one pink striped coloured hair band.
u noe, the pink striped one i haf, if u noe me in rl..
plus the black slipper sort of shoe i bought that time.
and with a white coloured sling bag. the one i always wore.
of cux, with a white coloured shorts la, but u cant see it clearly ._.

yup, u cant really imagine it,
and the top was abit big
at the shoulders, so i use pin ._.
then when i reached home i go sew @@

somehow, when i went to the bus stop
to take bus 28, i saw someone.
a guy who wore a brown striped tee,
is like, if his gf wear my clothes rite,
they really look like one god damn nice couple.
or was that his sister......
oh well :X

ya then i went to eat and stuff.
alot people, and i received $48 today.
their house got two dogs :D its like dam nice.
then i kip kachiao their dog @@

oya and then my dad borrowed me his ipod.
but its like god damn big lahs.
but hell, its still cool.
except it's abit disfigured by him yet again=/

lastly, happi cny ppl (:

-P.S ; LL told me not to sms him so i didnt reply any sms he sent :X
lalalas~

happi cny to my fellow kors, jies, seniors and random strangers.

oya i chatted wif spadeice today.
seems like he's an ex student.
he's 15, but he quitted schling le.
and is working lahs. and smokes ._.
idk lahs. lols. ):

Date :
Time :

aiyah, ellos.
i slpt, and i woke up at 1pm.
i use com. until like 4pm+
then went back to slp.
woke up at 8pm+ then.
inbetween i eat and use com.
going back to slp soon.
dont i sound like a pig?

abit pissed,
and abit disappointed.
shall go to sleep now, goodnight.

oyasuminasai.
cant smile like i always used to.
why? because it's not that im unhappy.
it's just that i'm feeling weird on something.

Date :
Time :

paiseh! ):
i abit busy nowadays lurhs.
forget to blog yesterday x.x

ah, i got my "new old fone" yesterday.
my dad's fone lurhs.
line de, but got scratches le!
so evil lurhs, he always make the fone
until disfigured somewhat then gimme.
nidda pay my own bills!

ah, i got a few themes from mam mandy :D thanks.
i also got a few songs from mam clara :D thank you too.
plus i can chat with LL le :D in sms.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
and sebastian lahs :X
and uh, alot of people x)

i slpt from 2 to 7 lurhs.
tired.
when i got up, no appetide.
now eating lah, but "mei you wei kou"
hais..duno how lahs.

band was fun today (:
i kind of enjoyed it :P

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My name is AHJOY. This blog is my memories. I have killed it though, my new link is http://wishinggx.blogspot.com ! Please relink if you know me ;D

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- white laptop.
- white bag.
- white handphone.
- concert not cancelled.
- friends to get well.

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