The Ostebos : 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Today something amazing happened....

The provo tabernacle burned down...this occurred Friday night, December 17th. Not so amazing. But just wait. The provo tabernacle was truly an icon in the community. I remember meeting President Uchtdorf there at a stake conference he was presiding over. The building inside was beautiful, the handcrafted wood, the organ, it was so wonderful inside! So I was speculating with the girls at work how something like this could happen? Why would God allow this beautiful building that pioneers to the valley had hand-crafted over a span of 15 years, just burn?

And then the most AMAZING answer came today....

Regardless of what happens, most of what happens we have no control over, but Christ remains....His message to the world never leaves. I really do believe with all my heart that this picture is no coincidence. I know God's hand was somehow a part of not allowing that picture to burn. I don't really know why but that picture just really touched my heart. It made me super emotional the second I saw it. Just such a testimony to me that no matter what happens, or how bad things may seem, any life event can be turned into something sweet and beautiful. This picture is a message to anyone who is searching for truth about this life, there is only one answer where it can be found, and that is through Christ.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Running up the canyon

My run tonight up Provo canyon was SOOOO amazing. It was absolutely beautiful. There were a couple of inches of fresh powdery stuff everywhere. The sun was hitting the mountains just right to give it that pinkish hue just before the sun goes down. My favorite. Ice had frozen on the tree branches and the sun was shining through. I had one of those moments running....maybe you have had one....when I thought, "Have I really seen this before??" It was such a weird feeling to know that I have been on the earth for 23 years, and tonight I was seeing the mountains for the first time. I LOVE that! I ran and leaped a little in the air, feeling so invigorated, inspired, and at peace tonight.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

First week of December

1st - worked a half shift, went home to logan

2nd - played in logan, ate at logan gyros with Dad, Dad bought me 12 pairs of brand spankin' new socks, taped Exodus with luke and Dad

3rd - skied opening day at the BEAV! I've still got it! The snow was perfect...a good foot of new powder and the snow kept falling all day.

4th - worked, could hardly move my legs from skiing

5th - church, went on a drive up the canyon with a good friend...chatted about where we are at in life

6th - work.

7th - BOUGHT A CAR!!! He is a beauty.....1998 subaru outback, 168,000 miles....pictures to come

8th - Work, saw my first pleural effusion and abdominal hematoma. Jazz vs. Heat game...we lost. Grateful tonight for friends who remind you of who you are!

Monday, November 22, 2010

The day that it snowed

This morning I left my house at 545am for another day of work. The ambiance of this morning was different. A new winter chill seized the air. It felt as though the usual happenings of the summer decided to hibernate, and there I was, a stranger embarking into the frigid while the rest of the world stayed warm. It was peaceful. Winter causes a stirring in me, it has since I was little....this desire to be closer to the people I love, to the people I work with, to nature, to God. I am thankful every year for winter. The mountains loomed ominously this morning, with a new snowcap glowing in the dawn light. I feel the mountains are pulling me in....it is time to be on the mountain, to let the brisk air burn in my nose and the tears pour out of the corners of my eyes in the icy wind.

Winter seems to let my spirits be freed....

This last little while, I have felt like a wanderer. I feel as though I'm blinded and I'm merely putting one foot in front of the other into the dark with no idea what is on the other side. In some ways I feel like I've lost pieces of my heart, and I look back to the past and can't trace where I lost those pieces....maybe they'll never come back. In other ways, I feel as though my heart has never been stronger, I never knew I was so courageous to continue on into the dark.

But new discoveries seem to appear each day that weren't there the day before....maybe I'm more observant because my soul is grasping to anything that seems to be the continued path toward truth and light.

It happened today when I listened to 'Singing in the Rain' on my way to work. I love this song. Nurse Melissa and Dr. Z began singing it at work. Then, as I was walking to FHE another girl was singing the song on her way home. And then, to my complete surprise....another girl on HER way home also hummed the tune. Ironic.

Or the other day I was at the grocery store....I decided to smile my whole way through the grocery store. People were staring at me left and right. I've never felt so happy grocery shopping. And the littlest finds of good prices and great products became monumental discoveries. Smiling. Who would have thought?

So maybe my heart really is just finding bits and pieces of it, that it beforehand didn't know existed. There is no 'shoulds' or 'musts' in this road of life. Only love and beauty to be found, and that is the path to follow.

And then I found this poem the other day that plucked at a heartstring

Yes, my fretting

Frowning child,

I could cross

The room to you

More easily.

But I've already

Learned to walk,

So I make you

Come to me.

Let go now--

There!

You see?

Oh remember

This simple lesson,

Child,

And when

In later years

You cry out

With tight fists

and tears

"Oh help me,

God--please."--

Just listen

And you'll hear

A silent voice:

"I would, child,

I would

But it's you,

Not I,

Who needs to try

Godhood."

Carol Lynn Pearson

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thoughts...

My thoughts of today...

I decided not to go to nurse practitioner school just yet, I'm going to work for another year first.

I love my newfound youtube song...Piano Trio by Ravel. Amazing.

I love the Subaru's and will hopefully be a proud owner of one tomorrow!

Mi padre

I absolutely LOVE this man! He is mi padre, as I call him.

Tonight was such a wonderful tender mercy to get to spend an evening with the padre.

He helped me decide on a car I had been looking at, then we chatted for a little while over at Ken and Jen Johnson's house, and then just me and the padre went to dinner at our family's favorite panini shop off of 90th south and highland dr. in SLC

It got me to thinking how grateful I am that there is in fact a human being on this earth that I can FULLY relate to, feel COMPLETELY comfortable being 100% myself, and know that I am connected to this man FOREVER. That is an amazing blessing.

The padre has a wealth of knowledge and an IQ that not many match.

Today he was telling me that England/Spain made better land conquests than their European neighbors the French/Portuguese. Hence, why they have always been at war with each other.

I said, "Dad, how do you know all the stuff you know??"

Being a pilot for the last 20 years of his life he said, "Whit, I've spent alot of my life wandering around reading signs." Haha awesome.

The padre is a very observant man, he picks up little bits of knowledge through careful observations.

He is a Bear Grylls of sorts....survived the Washington wilderness for two weeks, backpacked Alaska, he builds fires, travels the vast expanse of US cities, operates tons of flying steel, has flown fighters in formation.

He contemplates the deep meanings in life, and as a result has a wealth of wisdom.

He is quiet and gentle....when the padre speaks, you LISTEN

When I tap into the padre's brain for a few minutes, I begin to see behind his words an immensity of experience and collection of memories.

What it means to be a daughter of this man is growing in sacredness.

I'm beginning to realize that my life, the way I react to things, many of the experiences I've had, closely parallel the padre's life.

I'm very grateful that he often times has amazing advice.

When I think about the padre I get a little emotional, my heart is connected to his, and sometimes we don't have to say much.

I understand my dad's goofy humor perfectly.....mostly because i possess the same sense of humor.

The padre is very close to the Lord.

Growing up, the padre would take us to get 'GOOBS' at the convenience store

Diet coke....definite integral part of his life

Music....another integral part....he is a jazz pianist, and hence his children are pianists as well

When he hears the right blend of musical harmony in a song, he can't help but play the 'air piano', bang his head, tap his feet

The padre has slight interest in African American culture, nicknaming his children Dushondas and Propeshias.

The padre has sharp written wit, a master of written words.

I love him.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Ramblings

Today these are the things I am grateful for:

I'm grateful for Shea who helped me look at a car tonight in South Jordan because I didn't have any male support up until he agreed to help

I'm grateful for my dad who chatted with me for almost two hours and imparted his life wisdom

I'm grateful for a patient today that challenged my nursing perspective because it helped me search a little deeper why I am in this field.

I'm grateful for the gospel, which is the source of all truth

I'm grateful for my amazing coworkers who keep such a great attitude

I'm grateful for work that helps me appreciate leisure

I'm grateful that mistakes can be made, which leaves room for improvement

I'm grateful for this blowdryer that I have turned on to give me warmth:)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Archnemesis

This stuff is leaving my life! It has successfully managed to weasel its way into every late night of nursing school, every night shift, day shift, eating out, social events.

I'm addicted.

I love the taste.

But it is time to go.

So far it has been almost three weeks without drinking it on my days off

And now I've gone 5 days without including days that I have worked.

Today I walked into get some water and had a stare down with the free coke fountain.

Then I laughed to myself

And stared it down again

NOT TODAY!

Snow!

Oh man tonight marks a very important event that occurs ONCE.....ONCE a year!

The First snow storm!!!!!

I felt it this morning on my way to work....

There is a new crispness in the air, a serene calm that hasn't emerged lately

Storm clouds hug the mountain

And then as I walked out of work tonight, the air shifted again

This time it's the smell of burnt wood, the wind is excited by its new surprise

And then.....at 9pm.....SNOW

Big, fatty flakes!

It was amazing!

I will never tire of that moment that happens every year

It's my favorite

Jenni and I went to Sundance to buy our ski passes....we wimped because I'm debating to go to Snowbird again, and Jen is debating the Canyons.

I think we'll end up at Sundance

Either way, we win, and SKI!

Oh the ambiance and nostalgia that the dabbles of the coming winter bring to my mind!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Lesson in Sacrifice

Okay this is me right this very moment....I'm playing the waiting game and so I thought I'd blog about this little experience I get to have once a month or so. If I work a night shift from 6pm to 6am on a saturday/sunday, I've discovered I have to stay awake until 930 for church. If I even think about going to sleep before church, there is no hope of getting up. It's game over. But the waiting game from 6am to 930 is just grueling. No other words to describe it. My eyes burn, my body aches, and I know I need to go to church and come back to get as much sleep as I can before another night shift. Thank goodness life usually comes at you slow, because I see the moms who do this schedule and I stand in amazement that they can do this with kids. I had a chat last night with Dr. Madsen and he told me he goes home from his night shift to get his 7 children ready for church. Talk about a lesson in sacrifice. I can't remember whose talk it was in general conference about faith. Faith is not motivated by circumstance otherwise the natural man would continually give in. Some of the people I work with amaze me that they are pressing full speed ahead despite a difficult work schedule. I'm glad for right now I just have to think about keeping my eyes from shutting...maybe one day I'll add little people to this equation, and I'll have fought this battle against tiredness for so long, I won't even blink....and that'll be a good thing because blinking for me usually equals sleep:).

Thoughts on NP school: I had my mind made up to go....and now I'm wavering again....do I really want it? More education means even more added responsibility. I'm feeling pretty happy with the level of responsibility I have right now, and sometimes I wonder if I'm ready for that much more. Can I really do two more years of school? I think I just sign up for the GRE and take it....if I hit too many roadblocks on the way then I know maybe I'm not supposed to apply

Latest growing up/adult moment: I got approved for a $5,000 car loan. Hello junk car!!! I'm thinking maybe a toyota camry, honda, or a subaru??

Upcoming growing up/adult moment: I am signing up for health insurance. Yikes!

The clock is ebbing ever closer to 930. It is approximately 830. I'm dying. How do my eyelids know so well what they want to do?! Funny how war can be waged on such a micro level!

Life moment: My water got shut off by Provo city....do you know how important water is?? I couldn't wash my hands after the bathroom (gross). I couldn't take a shower. Couldn't do my dishes. Couldn't brush my teeth....you need water more than just to drink it

I'm grateful for water!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Being Home!

Our favorite pizza place...Jack's! This is where Lexy works

Me and the Brudders

Ned....he's my baby:)

This picture cracks us up....Ned looks like a little child in the backseat

Have you ever seen a dog any happier in your lifetime?

Loving Cache Valley air

My finished fall-scape! I think it turned out quite nicely

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Saga of the hospital bed

One of the simple tasks I do in the ER is transfer patients who are admitted into the hospital up to either the Med/Surg floor or the ICU floor. I load up the patient belongings onto the bed along with the patient and wheel the patient/bed up to the floor. Once in their new room, I slide the ER bed next to the floor bed to shift the patient to the bigger and better floor bed. I then chat with the floor nurse for a few minutes to make sure she is up to date on the patient before taking the ER bed back down to the ER. It is a simple process really....

However, an incident occurred two weeks ago...

It was like any other Med/Surg admit patient.

I got the patient belongings together, charting, disconnected tubing, got oxygen hooked up to the bed....ready to go.

Steered the bed/patient onto the elevator, up to the 4th floor, moved the bed into the room, shimmied it next to the floor bed, transferred patient.

Gave info to floor nurse....

And i walked out of the room and took...the STAIRS.

Didn't have another thought about the transfer until an hour later I hear a nurse say, "Hey, where's our ER bed?" Oh no! I instantly realized what I had done.

"I forgot the bed upstairs!" I confessed.

Laughter erupts in the ER. So an ER tech went up to the floor and asked where our bed had gone. The floor nurse says, "What bed?" "You know, our ER bed....it was left up here."

The floor nurse says, "Oh, you mean the gurney?" "Yeah, stretcher, gurney, bed....whatever."

Haha laughter deferred from me to the floor nurse until.....

A week later, I did the same thing!! I transferred the pt to the floor bed and walked straight out of the room without the bed. Awesome! And so.....I was given two addenda to my badge:).

Just another day....

The morning has been quiet at the hospital....

Got here at 6am, took care of three patients, and then all has been quiet since 7.

I love this kind of a morning at work. There is something very peaceful about a quiet hospital, when all the lights are still dimmed, no beeping monitors, still dark outside.

I ate a naughty biscuit with gravy....Dr. Z was talking about Amy Winehouse this morning, he loves her music, but we were saying how she eats, smokes, drinks whatever she wants...stays skinny, but she has a flabby bod. I got to thinking....I don't smoke or drink, but I eat whatever I want...what if that is my downfall to staying tone? Oh the woes of woman. So....I'm thinking I'll try again to keep up on my veggies.

My favorite breakfast at the hospital: $0.75 blueberry oatmeal with granola. It's delicious!

This morning, though, I loved cuddling up in a blanket from the blanket warmer, sipping a diet coke to shock me out of my 5 hours of sleep, listening to a little She and Him on pandora, chatting with Natalie about Prudhoe Bay. A great work morning, filled with...mmm, no work. But every once in a while it's nice. Cute little love moment, nurse Natalie is dating a man that works in Prudhoe Bay....he has to travel outside of his complex in 3 degree weather in zero sunlight to find cell reception once a day just to call her. That's sacrifice.

Yesterday Luke called me and played his new song. "What if" by Coldplay. He's a genius

And just another little tidbit to add to this completely random rambling of a blog post....
Words of wisdom from Dr. Barlow yesterday, "Whit, what you need to learn is to realize that you are just like everybody else. Once you get over yourself and relax, things will work out for you." Man, the truth....it's always just a little painful, isn't it?

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Happenings to add to the travel log

This is the piece of wood I found at Home Depot today for $5. Tomorrow....it will be a fall-scape painted masterpiece:). So excited!

Getting ready for a date! So excited to go out on the town!

So at institute this week the teacher was talking about the atonement of Jesus Christ. The atonement is something I want to increase my understanding of, but he said something that really hit me. He said that one of Satan's greatest tricks is to make us believe that there is a max to how many times we can be forgiven. If we fail so many times then there is no coming back. He wants us to think that if we try a few times and don't succeed, then we will never succeed. I have fallen guilty to this thought pattern in my life at times. It only leads to feelings of guilt and pain. I don't believe the Lord wants us to live with these feelings, and hence there is an infinite atonement, meaning we are to try and try and try again, with feelings of joy and happiness in our heart.

We then read a scripture that I LOVE

"Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me." Mosiah 26:30. This is so cool to me that the Lord is that merciful that we would let us repent every day and begin every day new. There is so much hope in this that I often forget to realize.

Three things I'm grateful for today:

Today was the first day it smelled like fall...only means winter is coming!

I got to hear musicians from Africa play the drums/guitar/harmonica and feel their SOUL power

I felt peace in my heart:).

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Rain!!!!

I went running up the canyon yesterday afternoon. My friend Liz Marble came along on her road bike. It looked stormy overhead, and we were thinking....maybe a run/bike through a light shower.

The plan was I was going to start running up the river trail in Provo canyon while Liz pumped up her bike tire, then we were going to meet somewhere along the trail.

A half mile into my run a torrential thunderstorm hit. I was soaked through within a minute. Lightning cracked right over head. So exhilarating! But I started having visions of myself being hit by lightning and showing up in the ER as just another patient doing something stupid! It was stupid. I decided to keep running up the canyon til Liz passed me, then I would turn around. Three lightning bolts struck overhead and I thought....that's it! This REALLy is stupid.

I turned around and started flying as fast as my legs would carry me. Leaves flying everywhere. The rain falling in sheets. Water starting to pool on the trail. The rain was stinging my skin it was coming down so hard. But I felt so alive feeling the power of nature! Amazing! But I was definitely praying the whole way down for a safe return.

I saw Liz biking up the trail and shouted, "NO GO, NO GO, WE GOTTA TURN AROUND!" She agreed. This was crazy! We were taking on the mountains that we most definitely were no match for.

We made it safely back to the car....both drenched to the bone and freezing! We jumped in the car and blasted the heat laughing at our amazing adventure. And then "Life is a Highway" starts playing in the car. Liz finds her phone and tries to stop the music, but alas the rain had frozen her phone.....and it wouldn't stop playing the song. We pulled out the battery. Plugged it back in. Still.... "Life is a Highway" begins playing again. Hilarious. A day later....her phone still won't stop playing the song. Maybe it was symbolic of the moment?? Never know what life is going to throw at you, like a good thunderstorm!

Things I'm grateful for today:

The snow dusting on the top of Timpanogos after the storm, the clouds clinging to the mountain, the mountain seeming to be magnified in size.

The smell of rain today, the trees looked a little greener

Yoga session with Liz.....today I tried to master my headstand, I feel my body getting stronger

A healthy body in great shape

Good food I can afford

Slab pizza, thai chicken to be specific....I'm on a first name basis with the owner Eric

A good job that helps me live a very comfortable life

An amazing family with parents who have an amazing capacity for unconditional love

Thoughts on my mind:

Should I go to nurse practitioner school?

Should I move to south Provo or stay in the Avenues?

Monday, September 27, 2010

Probably slightly illegal to post this

Getting ready to dirty dash as little indians!

Last night I watched the movie Chocolat....okay so it's a little melodramatic, probably shown in sociology classes, but the little moral at the end....I loved it.

This woman's whole way of living, which is what a priest comments at the end is... "It is not about the bad things that we avoid, but the good things that we embrace"

Another good little thought....I watched a Mormon message last night called What is Most Important. President Monson said, the most important things in life usually includes the people that we love. Love that!

So this week was a little exhausting

4 shifts

a little case of food poisoning from some avocados gone bad, shouldn't have cooked with them

Little sleep

Birthday parties

And....the DIRTY DASH!

The dirty dash is a 10k up Soldier Hollow by Midway. It was so stinking hilarious!

Obstacles to conquer:

A mud hill

hay bails to jump over

tubes to crawl through

mud walls to jump over

a quarter mile stretch through Deer Creek swamp land

Trenches of mud to trudge through

And....the world's longest waterslide

And the ending mud pit

Loved the run! We were cowboys and indians! For the last half quarter mile we all held hands to run into the mud pit, help each other climb out, and then held hands into the finish line...of course while singing Chariots of Fire!

I went to the temple this morning and I just love the Spirit that is there. When I am baptized for each person, I always love to think about what it is going to be like when I get to see that person in heaven. The temple seems to be the one special place where my body and soul are in a state of complete peace. Such an amazing gift to have the temple so close!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Blessings

Today at work Tim brought all of us who are running the Dirty Dash treats to wish us good luck!

And we were all introduced to the greatest discovery....Lindt chili dark chocolate. How does it work? Well, it starts out dark and chocolately....once the chocolate is all but dissolved in your mouth there is a wowza! Chili kickback! Mmmm it's tasty.

I had a really great experience today....my mind has been buzzing around about some things. Worries, fears. I just can't seem to feel at peace about certain things. Last night I had a good cry and felt prompted I should ask one of my dear friends for a priesthood blessing. I always feel a little sheepish asking for blessings. In some ways, it is a little pride swallowing to ask for a blessing because I know I'm in a situation where I really can't do it on my own. And I am Miss Independent. I love doing things on my own. But nonetheless I felt I should ask for one.

My friend is amazing....he gave me an amazing blessing that I would be calm, in a way that I could feel the Spirit. Today at work I just felt that no matter what went wrong at the hospital, nothing could shake me. I felt so much patience and love for my patients.....even the frequent flyers that sometimes drive me NUTS.

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I think how grateful I am that I have the knowledge I do. I have become SO much more grateful for what I know since I have started working in the hospital. Sometimes a day in the ER can be seem like all hell has converged on one place....one patient has tried to commit suicide, another is wanting to get high off of drugs, another is getting a medical clearance before going to jail, another patient has just overdosed for the 5th time that month, another patient has just been physically abused, another is suffering from severe depression. Day after day of this can get a little overwhelming. I've had days where I have thought, there is absolutely no hope for the world. The addictions in this world are so powerful and so binding, to that person there seems no way out. Many people are in such a vicious cycle of living day after day being chained by these addictions....it is no life at all. Satan is smart, the temptations are so subtle, but soon they become a swift, slippery slope and the return to the straight and narrow is so difficult. I've been angry some shifts....at Satan for his temptations, at God for allowing human suffering, at patients and people for being so stupid. But as I've worked through trying to understand what the point to all of it is, I keep coming back to how grateful I am to know the gospel and how much I wish many of my patients could understand what I do. Now more than ever, I am gaining a more sure testimony that Christ lives and that He does understand the suffering of His children, and that no matter how bleak it seems, there is always hope to change through the atonement. I know I can't help these people with the short time I have every day with them to change their lives completely, but I can at least try to be Christ-like and show little kindnesses....and if everyone who had the knowledge of the gospel did that, that encountered others that are struggling...who is to say it wouldn't be huge in helping them change!

Sometimes in my own life, I have moments where I get so scared and paralyzed by fear that even though things are really good in life right now....who is to say tomorrow my life won't drastically change?! I worry sometimes about something happening to my family or that I will lose my job or I won't have enough money to live or the good in my life will completely disappear. But then I feel this amazing power in knowing that there will NEVER be a time in my life where all is irreversibly lost. I will never lose my family because we are sealed in the temple together to have each other forever. I may be poor and not have much but the Lord will take care of me. The sun will always come up every day. The seasons will always change and be beautiful. Sunday and church will come EVERY week. And I always have my Book of Mormon and my testimony. These are things that can never be taken from me. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for these blessings. I am so thankful that my Savior knows me personally and loves me as His daughter.

And another great experience today.....

I got a little case of food poisoning overnight....I've been drinking the pepto since 4am this morning. My stomach has been cramping sooo bad. But I'm actually really grateful for the experience because it helps me remember and realize the pain my patients are in....I'm pretty sure I was much swifter at dishing out the pain medications today to my peeps with abdominal pain:).

And did you know? Pepto shows up on a CT scan. Who would've thunk?!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Its tuck time!

Relatively no patients....this is what became of our work shift! No words!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Mama

I get to see the Mama Johnson today for a dinner get together. Hands down this is the single greatest woman that has ever lived. I continually aspire to be who and what she is, and the day that I ever become even half of who she is....it will be a day of miracles.

The mama has been laying down quite the legacy....and continues

Growing up she greeted us every morning with smiles and hugs and a big, "GOOD MORNING, ----inserted name of child."

I remember one Valentine's Day when I was in high school the Mama sent to school a massive, at least 3 foot large heart balloon attached to chocolate and goodies.

I would get letters sometimes in my bathroom when I was having a hard time

Always encouraging.....the mama has never lost faith in any of us, she is a BELIEVER!

The mama is the embodiment of what the prophets counsel us to be...simple and true.

She is true to the beat of her own drum.

When the mama is super excited she whoops and hollers and jumps up and down

The mama has the greatest, most contagious laugh....the best memories are of us chitlins gathered for family prayer and the mama is the one who busts a gut over something, which kills any hopes of reverence, the padre trying to regain order, the mama still busting a gut.

When I have gone to Stampin Up conventions with the mama, I LOVE how the 300+ women in her downline flock around her, AMY, AMY, We LOVE you!!! I love her too

The mama has an amazing ability to recognize the difficulties and hard times that come to everyone in life, but she remains 100% optimistic about the future.

The mama is always trying to learn something new, new gospel study, new recipes, new ways to cope with present challenges, new skin creams, new toenail polish, new garden ideas, new scrapbooking ideas....this woman is continually in a mad pursuit of discovery

Just recently I had friends over for a weekend get together....the mama set up 'her hotel' complete with beds for everyone, wash clothes perfectly folded onto the beds, and miniature soap and shampoo bottles for everyone.

The mama will take time out of her busy schedule to talk to us when we are home, make sure we are doing okay

The mama has fiery opinions, and she will stick to the opinions to the grave....incredible integrity, completely unswayable by others on things she knows to be right

The mama is an energizer bunny....her day start every morning at 7-8, hard core exercise for an hour, a healthy breakfast, kiddies to school, work for Stampin Up, emails, phone calls, errands, bills to pay, scrapbooking, healthy lunch, more work, gardening, visiting with friends and neighbors, and then a dinner for the kiddies return from school, encouraging kiddies on homework and piano and sports, visiting with family, scripture time, prayer, bed. AMAZING!

The mama is incredibly patient....she broke her nose about 2 years ago which has included a couple surgeries, and still it gives her troubles, but she hardly ever complains

The mama loves adventure....trips to Taiwan, Lake Powell, DC

She loves traditions....holiday decorations, father's blessings before school, love notes to eachother at Christmastime, soup in the fall, family piano concerts on Sundays, lunch dates when we are together

She loves mozzarella, basil, tomato paninis

The mama is a firm advocate of seizing opportunities, continuing education

She loves the family dog Ned....maybe more than us chitlins

For our birthdays we always get a DELICIOUS home cooked meal

Christmas morning....always a trail of double bubble gum from our bedrooms to the Christmas tree

Dance parties with the mama

Her favorite pump up song...."Ain't no other man" by Christina Aguilera

The fact that she is a foot and a half shorter than the padre and she needs her kissing chair to reach his face

I LOVE the mama! I wished everyone in the world was as lucky as I am to have a mama like I do

Man from Snowy River

Just watched Man from Snowy River

My favorite line from the movie...Jim and Rosemary are on a horse on top of a mountain looking out across the vast mountain range....

Jim says to Rosemary, "You gotta treat these mountains like a high-spirited horse, can't take them for granted."

Rosemary says in reply, "You gotta treat people the same."

I LOVE that! Made me think about the people in my life that I love and that it is sooo true, I can never take them for granted.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Power of Love!

Guess who is coming back into P-town in 3 short months??!!!

My dear, dear friend Katie POWERS thats who!!!!!!!!!

Today's mission:

Find a way to convince my management company to let Katie sign onto a contract in my apartment 3 months before she will actually be living here, without paying for those 3 months. Could be impossible.

Be proxy to Katie to enroll her back into nursing school

Katie, come back! The French have had you long enough.

Today I was reminded of a funny that happened to Katie and I while we were in Taiwan so I thought I would write about it because this is a story for the ages.....

So we worked for 2 months in the ICU at the Chi Mei hospital in downtown Tainan. It was a great experience and we got to know a lot of the nurses pretty well...at least as much as broken Chingrish communication would allow. So while we were there, Nurses' Day was being celebrated which is an international holiday. The nurses told us that they have a presentation every year in honor of nurses and they wanted us to present something that would represent BYU. So the 8 of us that were there decided we would sing Lord, I would Follow Thee....the BYU Nursing School theme. We practiced for a couple weeks and felt ready when Nurses' Day arrived.

We enter this auditorium that has seated about 500 nurses from Chi Mei. The front row is seating the CEO of the hospital, the directors of Chi Mei, and the Chi Mei doctors. The program begins and the nursing director announces the line up for the evening.....the ICU nurses' presentation, BYU's presentation, a presentation from the directors, some skits....all I really listened to was when we would be going on stage.

We pass out our music while we wait for the ICU nurses to go on stage.....all of a sudden the lights go out. And this music comes blasting through the speakers...

Jolin Tsai, Butterfly...it's Chinese hip hop.

And then...the ICU nurses come onto stage in nothing but pink lingerie. The whole front row goes nuts. What is going on??? For the next 5 minutes we have to witness a pole dancing routine.....and in the back of our minds is the thought that we are going to be following this act with Lord, I would Follow Thee.

The madness finally comes to an end.

I look at our nursing professor....Jim, I'm not going up there, I'm NOT going up there. I look at Katie....I'm not going up there. She agrees.

Jim makes it very clear we are still singing.

So we sing Lord, I would Follow Thee

After the program was over the Chi Mei nursing director came up to us and said, "Next year, try to come up with a program a LITTLE more exciting." If that implies BYU nursing students shedding a little extra clothing to keep people on their toes, they will be in search of another university to bring to their hospital:)

I miss Taiwan, though. Writing this makes me miss the country.

My ultimate dream.....learn Chinese and go back to Taiwan or even China for a few years. I need Rosetta!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The flow

This is how bored I am in a hotel room...while I wait anxiously for Jenni to come back to the hotel room so we can chat and hang out....I'm writing two blogposts in one day.

Greg Laswell....he is my new favorite artist....even though he has been around for 2 years. But Jenni and I were listening to him in the car today as we lazily drove through the small towns of Rochester and Oakville, Washington. Love him, love him. I LOVE his song called Comes and Goes

This is for the ones who stand

For the ones who try again

For the ones who need a hand

For the ones who think they can

It comes and goes in waves

I am only let to wonder why

It comes and goes in waves

I am only let to wonder why

This song speaks to me. Well, actually, back up. The first time I heard this song it reminded me of some Amish man on his farm in Pennsylvania. No idea why. But I love the words in the chorus. I've always wondered why life ebbs and flows. Sometimes life is so good. Some moments I feel so at peace and happy. And then other times life can just stink. Some days in the hospital I am in the flow.....one time I looked up the word 'flow' in wikipedia. It's interesting.

Flow: the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task.

So I've been thinking about times when I feel the flow.....and the ebb....well thats just the annoying stuff I think has to be experienced to feel the flow!

1. When I'm with my family having a good laugh or a good chat around the dinner table

2. When I'm reading the scriptures and the book is coming to life

3. When I'm reading Harry Potter....yes unfortunately this comes right behind reading the scriptures....judgment may be passed:)

4. When I'm on a long run in the mountains

5. When a day in the ER looks like this....taking care of 6 patients at once in a more critical state, admitting at least 1, transporting another patient to another hospital, one patient just came in who is in a full code, the ER doc shouts, "Are we running an ER today, or are we running an ER?!" He is meanwhile flying through charts writing new orders....the other nurses are buzzing around me as fast as I'm buzzing from patient to chart, to phone call, to patient, to doctor, to another nurse, to patient, to chart. I don't think about what I'm saying. Families' of patients are asking me questions and the answers just come...no forethought....thank goodness for an education that prepared me....I really do thrive off of this flow.

6. When Jenni and I are in one of our deep conversations, she is one of my dearest friends who I have known long enough that we can totally predict each others reactions almost perfectly. We have an almost complete understanding of each other. How this happens? I don't know. But I do remember the day I met Jenni....she was at the little convenient store in the cannon center buying chapstick. I knew the moment I saw her we would be great friends. That was 5 years ago. Weird.

7. When I was in college....a good lecture, my mind being blown

8. When I watched 'Inception'...my mind was blown by that too

9. When I am at the temple

10. When I write!

Just a few...

And why human relationships ebb and flow, I don't think some things will ever be figured out:).

Seattle

Right now I'm in Washington with Jenni.

She told me she was going to cover a scrapbooking conference for her marketing company. Wahoo! I would definitely come!

We left sunny Salt Lake City.....

On the plane I met a woman from Korea....this is her story.....

She grew up in South Korea playing the flute.

At the age of 16, her parents sent her away to America where she would study the flute, learn English, and learn American culture....all in the hopes of a better future.

I asked her how she felt during that time. She said she was so lonely, she had no family and no friends. So she said she turned all of her attention to her studies. She would go to school and come home to study really hard. She said she cried herself to sleep the first 6 months. During her high school years she continued to have no friends. She then went to get her bachelors and master degree in flute performance and then in music therapy. She met and married a Korean man and now they have two kids. I asked how her experience changed how she was going to raise her family.

She says.....Korea is crazy. Kids at the age of 4 are already learning English and are enrolled in at least 5 extra curricular activities. They are not naive. They have no childhood. But if you don't raise your kids that way, then they are social outcasts. Parents will send their kids to America while they are still kids. Asia feels that they must become like America. They do not accept their individuality as a culture. But Americans as a culture are self-interested, independent, isolated from each other. Koreans, however, are in large a part of each other, very group oriented. Koreans are becoming more and more Americanized and our economy now keeps up with the world economy. I'm going to give my children a childhood, though. They are each enrolled in 2 extra curricular activities. They play, they get into some trouble, they will not know about the world so early on.

This woman had a strength and courage about her. Despite her difficult past, she held herself with poise and quiet confidence. She spoke with eloquence and considered her words. She had a rare beauty about her. I'm grateful to have met her....always puts life into perspective...the trials and struggles that some people endure and overcome.

We began our flight descent and my sinus infection took a turn for the worse. The pressure in the cabin was putting intense pressure on my head because it couldn't pressurize with the plane. I felt pins and needles in my head, and then I began feeling this popping sensation in my sinuses. For a second i thought....my word, my brains are going to blow out of my eyeballs or my ears, don't know which is going to happen first. I turned to the guy sitting on the other side of me and asked if he had experienced that before. He reassured me he had and that in fact, my brains would still be in place when we landed!!

So Jenni and I made it to Seattle! We found our rental car and Jenni informed me that we had to go to a city called Grand Mounds an hour and a half away where the hotel was located. We took the Grand Mounds exit and landed ourselves in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!

We saw a gas station.

We saw a few houses.

No hotel.

Where were we??

We keep driving down the main bumpy road to hopefully find it.

Nothing.

A few more house.

Trees.

We turn a corner and there before us is the largest hotel monstrosity I've seen outside of Vegas. The Great Wolf Lodge! We made it! And in front of the hotel are 40 foot wolf statues....sentinels, beacons of welcome to the great Northwest!

This place is great!

Indoor waterpark

Log cabin beds

A Starbucks....for hot apple cider of course, perfect for rainy days

Free wi-fi

Scrapbooking ladies!

Unfortunately my sinus infection has kept me bedridden while Jenni scraps away. But it is a blessing in disguise really that I'm in a place where my only options are a waterpark or my hotel bed. I opted for the bed and am now finally giving my body some much needed rest.

A relay race and a bunch of work shifts with little sleep in between....it was only a matter of time before my body finally gave out. I hate relaxing. I don't know how to do it. It is one of my goals to learn how.

So far in my little hotel bed I have.....

Watched the season finale of Lost....so good, I loved the little Lost moral of the story at the end

Gone out to McDonald's twice....that is the only restaurant in town

Found out my current IQ score...132. Wahoo!

Texted Heather Johnson...she has a sinus infection too

And video chatted with my brother Luke

Great day!

I'm a good cover

Two days ago at work was a most interesting day.....

I had a patient who was sick, really sick. He was my first admit of the day into the hospital. The poor man was really large! And he couldn't breath, fluid backed up into his lungs, a heart that wasn't working....he was so anxious he couldn't talk. I was working fast to get him to a more comfortable bed, pain meds meanwhile.

Our ER beds are hard as a rock!! They are really terrible. The med/surg beds are large and luxurious and every patient that finally makes it to one of those always breaths a sigh of relief that they no longer are on the half-of-a-twin-size bed, bed.

So I asked my doc....what room do you want him in?

He wants a med/surg bed.

I call house supervisor....we need a med/surg bed.

The admitting physician also concurs....med/surg bed.

Got it.

I give report to the floor nurse and explain that this patient is also on some heavy duty respiratory machine. She seems to okay it...she can handle it.

So I get the patient ready to go. And it turns into quite the little entourage. I've got his bed, the respiratory therapist has the machine with all the tubes attached. And we've got the whole family following behind....all of the family members are quite large.

We make our way slowly down the hall, barely fit in the elevator, but we are IN!

4th floor....

Get off the elevator, slowly make our way to the room. I see the admitting physician at the nurses' desk. Take 10 minutes to pull equipment and chairs out of the way to fit the ER bed next to the hospital bed. The med/surg nurses are staring at me. No help? Okay I start making requests....you be there, you help here....i feel really bossy. But the job must be done to slide the patient from the ER bed to the hospital bed. The family member decides to lift the patient to a standing position and move him from the ER bed to the hospital bed.

It's a heavy lift! But he manages to pick up the patient. I can see the patient is quickly getting frantic, no oxygen! Its an intense moment. We gotta get him to his bed quick so he can get oxygen.

Then a family member pipes up....I thought he was on the ICU floor. What? I pause for a second. Things aren't adding up. Med/surg nurses giving me blank stares, a respiratory machine, and a lengthy diagnosis.

Okay hold on everybody, I hear myself say....I'm sweating bullets, I feel my skin get really hot and flush. I can feel the family's frustrations....one family starts letting out profanities.

I run down to the admitting physician....where did you want him??

The physician tells me he was surprised to see us up on the med/surg floor and that he needed ICU care immediately. He couldn't wait on this floor, these nurses were not equipped to handle him.

The stress mounts.....I have 3 patients in the ER that I am in charge of who are not getting care. I call down to the ER floor....is everybody okay?? I talk to Tim and he reassures me I'm ok, he's got my patients. Thanks Tim! Okay resume care.

We get a bed in the ICU.....and our little entourage starts off again with tubes clanking and people bumping into each other. We make our way down to the ICU floor.

The ICU floor nurse is frustrated, I can feel it. She isn't making eye contact. Again, the family member lifts the patient, again panic ensues with the patient, lack of oxygen....but we make it to the ICU bed this time. The family's faces are frustrated. I've broken out into a full sweat now. We hook him up to monitors and get him comfortable.

The ICU nurse and I walk out so I can give report to the nurse. She looks at me and tells me what just happened was completely unacceptable. They had no idea a patient was coming and had no time to prepare....

Perspective is interesting.....not knowing what is coming and not being prepared is what I'm learning to do all day every day in the ER, but if it isn't what the norm, then not feeling prepared in the ICU must be very unnerving.

The ICU nurse continues her lament, I take the hit.

I go back down to the ER to face what is inevitably going wrong with my patients, and to begin pulling up my slack. Tim is amazing....he has everything under control, patients are well taken care of. My ER doc comes to his desk and I take in a big gulp of my pride.....Hey, doc I'm sorry I really thought that patient was going to the med/surg floor. Must have been my misunderstanding.

My doc looks confused and then says, What?? No. The admitting physician told me he was a med/surg floor patient. That is where he wanted him. It was not your fault. You just took the hit for him. It was his mistake.

I talked to some of the nurses who began to explain to me...I had just learned my first lesson about the nurse/doc relationship and mistakes in the hospital. The nurse will take the hit. The doc is the health facilitator, the nurse is the face of the hospital.

And I'm a good cover for our docs:).

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sun Never Sets on a Bad Bieber

Red Rock Relay 2010!! This is the rockin' relay course. We started at the top of Brian Head Ski resort and descended 7000 feet to Zion National Park. Amazing. We split the 188 mile relay with 12 peeps. Our team...Sun Never Sets on a Bad A$$ changed to Sun Never sets on a Bad Bieber....with none other than a poster of Justin Bieber himself on the back of our suburban as a beacon of hope on our runs!

Our race start began at 1145 on Friday morning, a crisp , chilly lift ride took our 6 runners from our first van to the top of Brian Head for the first descent. Megan Zitting, Laura Lewis, Jordan Edwards, Alex Wilcox, Amy Fish, and I met up with the first van to begin our first leg standing behind the Bieber!

We ran into Ben Mcgrath and John Hill who were on another team about 20 minutes behind us. Competition definitely ensued!

Our Navajo Ninja moves in honor of the beast of a run Jordan Edwards was about to undertake...a grueling 6.5 miles at 11,000 feet!

And why we are 'Beliebers!'...

When we needed water from our support burb or a little shout out of encouragement from the team....the Bieber poster was such a welcoming site because it differentiated our burb from the rest

To Be or not to Bieb! We Bieber!

And who is Justin Bieber?? 16 year old musical prodigy of Usher. His famous lyrics, "Baby, baby, baby, ohhhh, right....baby, baby, baby, ohhh right!" Greatest catchy tune. I plan on singing that song to my husband one day!

Orange soda man!

New experience from Red rock.....I experienced altitude sickness.

Wikipedia defines it as "a pathological effect of high altitude on humans caused by acute exposure to low partial pressure of oxygen at high altitude. It resembles a case of the flu, carbon monoxide poisoning, or a hangover. Symptoms include....nausea, fatigue, weakness, dizziness, insomnia, pins and needles, persistent rapid pulse, peripheral edema, pulmonary edema."

Most everyone on our team had some symptoms that resembled altitude sickness. I was running my first run at 4.5 miles at 9,000 feet when I started getting the chills, nausea, and I felt like I couldn't think straight. At the end of my run, my team was asking me questions and I couldn't understand anything they were saying. I felt like I had fluid building up in my lungs. Definitely wasn't ready for that moment.

The team....my red rock team was just that....they rocked!!! I loved them! There was never a dull moment in our car. And we lost one of our runners to some flu symptoms and it was so cool how fast our team mates jumped on helping our down teammate....

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a huge fascination with World War II. During our runner down moment during the night, I was having flashes in my mind of what it would have been like to be in the Ardennes Forest...I felt like we were getting a small taste.....no soldier left behind, we had to carry our soldier out and replace him. And we were so sleep deprived from our earlier runs but knew what had to be done. I love those epic moments of human struggle and then triumph.

Favorite moments of the run...

The Bieber dance parties

Cheering on our runners

The wonderful 30 minutes of sleep on a lawn chair at SUU's indoor swimming pool with the large air conditioners in the rafters that lulled us into a deep, deep sleep.

Frank and his twin...the moment when Megan freaked out over 'The Creeper!" that her and Katie Squires had seen at their last Ragnar...Frank was adorned in tube socks, shorty blue s horts, and a white tank top that didn't quite back up with the waistline of his shorts exposing some pudge and love handles. Frank turned out to be a cute little man though....Alex passed him up and Frank yells out "Goooood job, goooooood job (total exertion)".

My last run was 5.5 miles, the uphill was 2 miles, and then down 3 miles. I started the uphill on a highway shoulder and about half mile into it, the trail veers off onto a rocky trail up a hillside....i had no way of telling my support burb that I was no longer on the highway. So I just kept going up the hill, hoping that I was going the right way....no other runners in sight.

I turned a corner and saw my support burb parked a couple hundred feet on the road below me. I yelled and waved my hands frantically! "HELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOO!" They finally saw me and I threw my hands in the air....I had no idea what was going on!" But I kept running on, running on. It became a complete desert on the trail and I could no longer see the road, just a continual uphill. I finally got to the top of the hill, and there in front of me.......

Hundreds of miles of vistas

Red rock

Brilliant blue sky

Desert scrub

Bright sun rays

All of Southern Utah......and me. No one else

I threw my fists in the air and with a huge smile on my face that no one was going to see I yelled YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I was on top of the world!

Seeing Megan flying past runners at lightning speed on her last ascent run....it was remarkable....she is sooo fast!

Favorite, favorite moments.....loved being with my team, loved being surrounded by the beauty of southern utah, loved running my heart out to my rap music, loved the serenity of the stars and the quiet during the night, loved the energy of the 2400+ runners!

Okay, and the top favorite moment....clasping hands with my other teammates at the very end and running through the finish line! Triumph! Success! Victory!!

And the best part of all......we took 6th place!!!!!! Amazing Beliebers!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Oregon!

Brent took us to this amazing waterfall in the Gorge. We are little dots on the bridge on the right.

My dream house and life....have my cute little family and husband and live in a cute little cottage on the Oregon coast.

Katie and I made it to the top of Mount Hood!!! A proud moment. I sat on the curb and ate some good peaches and bagels to all of oregon. We took a little snooze and then left Katie at the top...then we drove Brent an hour to where he would meet up with the second van on his team.

After the race! I'm such a proud friend! They ran so well. The altitude difference let them soar on their runs. Katie averaged 7 min miles, Brent 630 min miles. Amazing.

Gotta love oregon surfers!

Katie Squires, Brent Friess, and I took a road trip to Oregon last weekend so Katie and Brent could run the Hood to Coast race. It is the longest running relay race in the world...180+ miles from Mt. Hood to the Oregon Coast. We left at 6pm on Friday night and drove straight through the night 13 hours.

Started off the trip right with some Arbys....Brent and Katie preferred Subway. We divided and conquered. I was homeless for a little while on the curb til they came and picked me up.

We drove off into the Idaho night. Halfway through our Idaho drive, we encountered a MASSIVE wind/lightning storm. Huge sagebrush bushes began blowing across the freeway! They looked like little animals scurrying across the road. We died laughing. Successfully navigated the sagebrush.

I fell asleep for an hour or so and I woke up to the car sputtering....Brent has a worried look on his face. He says we are out of gas and still 5 miles outside of Boise. So we pull into a rest area and knock on the window of this truck and asked this man for gas, instead he decided he would follow us into town. So we jumped back on the road for amazing 20 minute coaching of the poor little car! We kept him going at 20 mph on the freeway needing to start and restart him over and over has he crept his little way up the hill that then descended into Boise....and we pulled in miraculously to a gas station just as the car died! Amazing.

I drove from 12am to 4pm and had a little dance party with myself clicked into Katie's ipod while Brent and Katie slept.

Katie drove from 4am to 7am and safely brought us to our destination at Mt. Hood. It was so beautiful when we arrived. The night sky gave way to the early dawn giving light to the millions of pine trees lining the backroads to Timberline Lodge. We rounded a bend to see this.....

Ah it was a beautiful site!! I screamed!

While I was sitting on the beach in Oregon I kept having these thoughts about life and where I'm going, what I want to accomplish, where I want to be in 5 years or so. I have been feeling so blessed that I had the opportunity to get an education and have a good job so I can go and see places like the beautiful Oregon coast. I feel so blessed that I live in America, that I have wonderful friends, a wonderful family, the gospel....because of where I am at in my life I feel like the opportunities are limitless. Life is a blessing and a gift, there is so much to do, so much to learn, different phases of life, moments of change, new understandings.

Since I've graduated I've had moments where I've begun to understand life and see it in a way I didn't know I could before

Each person has this infinite potential in their soul....it is an honor to work in the hospital and connect with patients on a very personal and intimate level as they come in during moments of great need

My life is the only chance I get to work hard, learn as much as I can, overcome my weaknesses, enhance my strengths.

Life is only lived in today. If I am doing what I need to do today, the future takes care of itself.

The Lord lets me make mistakes and try again the next day.

So many people have blessed my life. And looking back on college and now looking to what is in the future....I realize I could never have come as far as I did without the people that are in my life. My family is a huge strength to me. And thinking about my friends and all the people i've met and loved in school and even now we still see eachother....

Jenni Gasparrini

Ashley Cole Tucker

Katie Vargo

Caitlin Reese Johnson

Chelsie Campbell

Michelle Myers

Layne Watson

Katie Squires

Aubri Root

Sarah Chaves Tranter

Andrea Whitaker Garnder

Kerri Hart

Karen Boyer

Christina Jemison Mack

Megan Zitting

Katie Powers

Alexa Kohl

Jane Leavy

Megan Robinson

Megan Cutler

Laura Clyde

Morgan Anderson

Elissa Urban

Hilary Davis

Whitney Francom

Shaughnessy Ryan

Tawni Jensen

Allen Knight

Clayton Pratt

Austin Hackett

Paul Moyle

DJ Dorff

Ben Myers

Ben Tingey

Chris Florence

Tyler Hales

Spencer Rowan

Steve Dent

Scott Stevens

Chase Ellsworth

Danny Ellsworth

Dan Ash

Paul Stevens

Benjamin McGrath

Taylor Jones

Mike Lemon

Mike Barber

Tyler Lemmon

John Hill

Dave Blackwell

Shea Owens

Mike Hanks

Jacob Sohn

Jim Kohl

Karen Lundberg

Shelly Reed

Deborah Himes

Vickie Anderson

Ron Uhlberg

Renea Beckstrand

Catherine Coverston

Troy Carlton