We Three Kings

After 2 very long weeks at work, I think the humbugs have finally left and with only 4 days left, I am beginning to get into the Christmas spirit.
Things started turning for me on Friday night when Will and I went to see the lights at Our Lady of the Snows. It's hard to fight the Christmas spirit when you're faced with a beautiful nativity scene, about a billion Christmas lights, a thermos full of hot chocolate, freezing temperatures and a petting zoo.
The rest of the weekend followed with some crazy Christmas shopping, a beautiful meal shared with close friends and a trip to the ballet with 2 more dear friends to see the Nutcracker.
Monday involved some more crazy (but productive) shopping with Will and today is the Christmas party for the kids at work. I'll get to share Christmas dinner with my girls and then watch them open their presents in the dorm.
Maybe tonight after the party I'll actually feel like decorating our sad, bare tree in our living room.
And the excitement continues to rise as snow is in the forecast for Christmas Eve day!

I can't believe Christmas is in less than two weeks. The whole month of December has felt very hectic with a long list of to-do' s and events. I haven't really even begun Christmas shopping or most importantly "prepared Him room" in my heart. How did things gets so crazy?
And to top off the normal busyness of this time of year, the accreditation board for my company is here this week for our 3-year review. I mean, who comes to do an audit two weeks before Christmas??!! It just seems absurd. It seems like a very Grinchy or Scroogey thing to do.
So, I spent the entire weekend at work trying to catch up all of my reports and files. I would've much rather spent the weekend in the comfort of my home watching the snowflakes fall and avoiding the blustery winds and painfully cold weather. And maybe Will and I could've decorated our tree. We bought our tree Thursday night and it has since stood looking very sad and empty in the corner of our living room. We debated last night whether or not we should even decorate it.... When did decorating the tree become a chore?
My part of the audit should be over on Wednesday and I am hoping that things will begin to slow down afterwards and that I will begin to feel more of the Christmas cheer.

Will began work yesterday on one of my latest "projects" for him. Its a 10 foot table that came from the building at my old job. It was original to the building and so it is at least 90 years old. The table is too big for our dining room and he is in the process of cutting it down and refinishing it. He's already scraped off two layers of veneer on both the top and bottom and is now down to what will be "our table"- composed of solid oak and maple.
The plan is for him to have it ready by Thanksgiving... yes, THIS Thursday. His family will be coming for dinner and I am so excited to have a big table for all 10 of us fit around. It's going to be great!
I'll post pictures later.

I really don't like Mondays.
First of all, Will has to be at work by 5:00am (on Mondays & Fridays) and I usually wake up when he does. This Monday, for some reason, I couldn't go back to sleep. Ugh!
Second, I usually have several messages already waiting for me when I drag myself into work. They are usually not good messages. They are usually about some kind of crisis that a girl had over the weekend.
Yesterday was no exception.
Overall yesterday, 4 out of 6 of my residents had some kind of crisis:
- one has self-pierced her nose and keeps putting a straight pin back in when she is away
from staff; the same one punched a boy twice in the van on the way home from school
- one was suspended for skipping class- she denied it and ended up yelling and cursing
at me ... and she told me she didn't like me... ouch!
- one lost her flash drive with a 7 page paper on it that she didn't save anywhere else
- one was promiscuous over the weekend, was not safe about it and is now asking for the
morning after pill

It is so hard for me to watch these girls make bad decisions and not feel responsible for them.
They definitely keep me on my toes and dependant on God.
I was able to go to my BSF Bible study after my chaotic day and be reminded that God's plans cannot be thwarted and that we cannot always know what He is up to. Praise God for that! I can't mess things up (too much!)
I'm sure glad that I have almost another full week before I have to have another Monday. Phew!

Today I took a girl to lunch at Imo's following her court hearing. The man at the register had a tattoo on his right forearm that caught my attention.

"Even straight roads meander"

Hmm... Very deep for a tattoo.
I really wanted to ask him about it but I decided not to since it would probably have embarrassed the girl with me. It just led me wonder throughout my meal about what could've possibly led him to have this permanently embedded in his skin. In red ink... in cursive.
People can be so interesting.

I rarely ever post on here and sort of feel like I've left this blog behind for my fishing blog. Cheryl has done a great job of keeping up with this one, though. Our life recently has been hectic and exhausting, but with clear moments of excitement.

We are still working on the house as much as we can, and plan to finish the bathroom (finally!) and are waiting for a warm-snap to finish painting the body of the exterior. Cheryl did a massive amount of landscaping in the summer and early fall that has done a lot for the general appearance of the house. Just a few of the projects I have planned for the winter are: sanding and refinishing the fir planked front porch and then gutting the upstairs rooms and rewiring/insulating/drywalling them and refinishing their floors. After I get the floor heat and marble down in the bathroom, I can do base and crown; that needs to be done asap so I can get upstairs and start tearing out walls. In one of the bedrooms, I'll reframe a wall to include a closet and reclaim some of the now-useless attic space.

Cheryl is hard at work at her still-new job at Epworth. She has long, hard days working with the girls there, but has the opportunity to do significantly more therapy work with the clients and their families. Again, it's very hard work but she is rewarded with moments of light in their lives. Thankfully it is much closer than St. Vincent, within walking distance for her which she often takes advantage of for convenience and a bit of exercise.

I am still on the job hunt and still turning up very little. Unfortunately I am either over- or under-qualified for most of what I apply for. Having a background in archaeology and divinity is a strange combination on the job market and one that I continually have to explain away during interviews. It is difficult to make my life make sense to others when it makes none for me. I am still fishing feverishly away, but not as much as I had been during the summer. I am building rods as fast as I can buy, afford and fish; I'm waiting on numbers three and four to arrive in the mail now. Professional custom building is just around the corner, but I doubt that it will be profitable for a while; it is a very tough business with high-cost and good competition. I am still working on writing a book and am in the stage where writing happens as much as editing; I just need to finish it so I can start legitimately talking to publishers. I'm about 60% to a "completed" manuscript.

Other than that, life is whatever the day brings to Cheryl and me.

So before she gets a chance to, I want to brag on my wife. She went to Upper Limits last weekend and dominated! She had never been climbing before, but hearing my stories about it inspired her (and the Groupon...).

I gave her the choice of my shoes (she went with the Mythos, she has good taste), chalkbag and harness and gave her the basics of climbing. I couldn't go because of work, but I knew she could handle it without me. ...and boy did she! She made it to the top every climb and never fell once.

Now she's on me to go with her. I might just do that. I'll pull out my old Climbing magazines and get inspired myself!

Now you try and convince me that I'm not married to the hottest girl ever. Go ahead, try.

You know you're getting old when....

Maddie is the best dog I've ever had. But, she, like the rest of us, has her weaknesses. Her biggest weakness is...FOOD!

After our week in Fort Morgan, Will and I have decided that we want to live there one day... hopefully soon.

There were blue crabs everywhere in the water. I actually stepped on one and had a piece of a sharp spine break off in my toe. I immediately went to the Dollar General and bought us some water shoes. Yes, we looked like dorks but we didn't really care. My were hot pink.

We went on a dolphin cruise and saw several dolphins. It was definitely a highlight of the trip.

On the dolphin cruise, there were actually two boats that ran side by side which created a large wave for the dolphins to "surf" and dive in. Very cool!

This is how Will spent most of his time.

Since my parents live close to the beach we got to spent some time with them. We had dinner at LuLu's (Jimmy Buffet's sister's restaurant) and got to listen to one of my high school classmates perform there.

There were crews on the beach working to clean up the oil. We saw lots of people driving around, but no one doing actual work. There were some small tar balls on the shoreline but they didn't keep us from enjoying the water.

I know that many people have a hard time with getting older and I used to think that I was NOT one of those people. I thought that I was comfortable with my age.
A couple of weeks ago I realized that there must be something way down deep inside of me that was not ok with my age. On 3 different occasions (in about a 2 week period) I had to give my age and without thinking each time I replied 31. The third occasion happened in Will's presence and he gently reminded me that I was 31 last year and am now 32. I was honestly confused and had to think about the year I was born and 2010 and do the math.... and I'm 32. I had completely forgotten about my last birthday back in July. I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old?
Yesterday I received another reminder that I am getting old. Well, at least older. I was in a store looking for some new shoes to replace my beloved worn out black ballet flats. Only two pairs of shoes caught my eye and I was surprised and very worried because both pairs were NATURALIZERS!!! I am getting old!!! What's next??? Soft Spots or SAS???
I quickly left the store and decided that I should shop around some more before I buy new shoes. It now feels like a really big, possibly life-altering decision. I'm at a crossroad. If I do decided to get the Naturalizers there may be no going back. It could be downhill from here on out. Am I really ready for that?
Maybe I'll just keep my old shoes for a little while longer.

I've been really sad and tearful this week. As I've been getting to know the girls' stories at work, I've been feeling really burdened and overwhelmed by brokenness. Several of them have had more awful things happen to the them in 14 or 15 years than most of us have in a lifetime.
In addition to this and some of my own significant personal stuff, I just heard about a college friend whose full-term baby was born stillborn. A sweet little girl.
My heart is very heavy.

I came across these quotes on grace and I keep them in my desk drawer at work. I've pulled them out several times in the past week to help keep me going.
"We hold that man is never so near grace as when he begins to feel he can do nothing at all. " ~G.H. Spurgeon
"I do not understand the mystery of grace- only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us." ~Anne Lamott

I'm not sure if Will realized what he was getting into when he proposed to me. I'm sure there are times when he has some second thoughts... I think last night was one of those times.
I come up with some pretty crazy ideas sometimes. And most of the time those crazy ideas involve Will and intense physical labor. Last night was not an exception to this.
Just as an aside-I love a good deal. I feel like that is even an understatement. It's something in my blood. My grandmother has it, my dad has it, and unfortunately for Will, I have it too. And bad.
So, I went to an estate sale by chance on Sunday in search of a bargain and found a large dresser w/mirror that matches our furniture in the bedroom. I had been looking for one for a while and so I was really excited to find this one. I bought it (with Will's approval) and made arrangements to pick it up at a later time (because Will was fishing.)
So last night, Will and I rented a truck from home depot and set off to get our new furniture. I had already mentioned to Will that the dresser was on the second floor of the house. I forgot to mention though that there was a turn on the stairs (a small landing.) I was worried that I wouldn't be strong enough for us to get it in the truck with just the two of us. Will ended up having to hold the dresser up above the banister and above his head while we made the turn on the landing. Somehow we managed to get the dresser to our house and the truck back to home depot in our 75 minute rental time frame.
Will, my hero, was a great sport the entire time even though he REALLY did not want to do it. He always comes in to save the day and I don't how I ever got by without him.

Some of the other "situations" I've gotten him into with my bargain hunts have involved: a 13 ft long table (requiring another home depot truck), light fixtures (with "hot" wiring), refinishing several pieces of furniture, and digging up and planting huge hydrangea plants in a downpour. Is that love or what?

I started my new job yesterday. A fresh start.
My first day went well. My new co-workers are so nice. (They're supposed to be since they are therapists, right?)
And the best part....
I'm not behind on paperwork!
What a great feeling.
So, I've decided that I am just not going to let myself get behind.
(We'll see how long that actually lasts.)

Another beginning happened yesterday. I went to a BSF intro meeting and signed up to participate in their study of Isaiah. I'm excited about it as it seems really appropriate for all that is going on in me and around me right now. I'm a little intimidated at the length of the class though... 30 weeks. Wow. That's a long time to do anything.
I'm going to give it a go. It's time for me to grow up and settle down, right?

See latest updates on my blog through the week (with more to come each day through at least Friday):

kingfisherking.blogspot.com

A little over a month ago, I received an email from my former LPC licensure supervisor, Dr. Meehan (the associate executive director at Epworth.) The title of the message was "Opportunity Knocking." Dr. Meehan wrote to inform me of some therapist positions opening up at Epworth (the agency I worked at before St. Vincent.) I initially decided that I was not going to apply for any of the positions because I had just wrestled with God over my whole career stuff and had come to peace with staying at St. Vincent one more year (making it two years total.)
After talking with several people, I was convinced that I should at least apply for one of the positions- a residential therapist for a girls' unit. I checked the website on a Monday morning and the job was still posted. I checked it again later that afternoon to get the contact person's email address and... wouldn't you know it... the job was gone. I quickly emailed Dr. Meehan and he informed me that the job had just been filled.
Oh, well.
On Thursday, I received a surprising call from Dr. Meehan. He told me that the person that they had hired for the position was not working out and he said that they were gonna have to let her go that afternoon. The residential director had 4 other people that she had interviewed prior for the position but was willing to meet with me. I sent in my resume on Friday and had an interview on the following Monday afternoon. She offered me the job a few days later.
So, it's pretty much a lateral move. Same type of clients (except these will be girls.) Same type of paperwork. Same pay. BUT, it's less than a mile from my house. AND more importantly, there are 5 other therapists there. I will no longer have to be the lone-ranger-therapist! AND Epworth is much larger, has a much better reputation and their residential units are almost always full= job security!!! (At St. Vincent, we can have 36 residents but only have 4 right now. Yikes!)
I start on 9/13 and have A LOT of work to do to finish well at St. Vincent. Very stressful but a little exciting.

Will and I are heading down south to sunny (hopefully) Gulf Shores, AL this weekend to spend a week on the beach. We didn't get a vacation last summer because we both changed jobs. I'm actually changing jobs again (more on that later) and so we had to hurry and make plans if we were going to have one this year.

I never know what the day is going to hold when I head in to work.

...Cheryl's blog. No we haven't split up. We are still happily married and going strong! I've just been too busy fishing and working on my blog to post anything here. Nothing non-fishing has happened in my half of this blog's life. I need to be writing, but...again, I'm too busy fishing. But where else am I gonna get material to write? I can justify going fishing a 1000 different ways.

I'm on day 11 of 30 days of fishing.

This Thursday my supervisor Connie and I will be speaking at a training for the Crisis Intervention Team of the St. Louis County Police Department. Our topic is "Substance Abuse and Co-Occurring Disorders in Adolescents." Riveting stuff, huh!
Our presentation is supposed to last an hour and there should be about 35 police officers there. I'm kinda excited about it and a little nervous. It's weird to actually be a presenter. I've been to countless trainings and now I'll be one of the ones standing up front. I'll be an "expert." (I just laughed out loud while typing that.)
Honestly, the topic is not one of my strong points. I've had to research a lot for it and have learned some along the way. Maybe they won't realize that I really don't know what I'm talking about ;)
I feel like a little kid playing dress-up... although most kids don't dress up as mental health professionals... and if they did, I would be very concerned about them...

I'll let you know how it goes.

A few weeks ago, Maddie and I went camping with Amanda and Jackie. (Will was off on a fishing adventure with his fishing buddy, Chris.) We went to Sam A Baker State Park which is about 2 hours southwest of St. Louis. It was a great, relaxing weekend but was very hot. (Highs in the mid to upper 90s!) It was too hot to do anything other than lounge around, swim in the river and drink sangria.

Maddie is now (almost) officially a certified therapy dog. She took and passed the therapy dog test at the AKC Dog Museum on Sunday. We now just have to mail in her paperwork and she can start working. She will be getting a tag and bandana to wear when she goes to work. She can visit hospitals, nursing homes, etc. AND she can work with my adolescents as well. She's already been to work with me several times and has done really well. My clients love her! Well, all of them except for one. The 6 ft tall, 18 yr old that threatened me a few weeks ago is actually scared to death of her. Honestly, I'm okay with that.
Maybe he'll think twice before he comes to my office again to yell at me and threaten me ;)

I started a dedicated, fishing-related only blog:

http://kingfisherking.blogspot.com/

Shake= run away, get outta here
Used in a sentence: "I'm gonna shake." or "Let's shake."
Not to be confused with a threat of a seizure or a greeting of hands among acquaintances. Typically used when a teen is agitated and wanting to leave an area. After one has "shook" the police are usually notified and a run report is made.

On my ______ (insert a family member here.)= I promise or I swear
Previously known as "I cross my heart and hope to die."
Used in a sentence: "On my momma." or "On my cousin." or "On my dead baby sister."
If the relative who is used in the statement is deceased, the statement is to be considered more serious and really true like a "pinkie-swear."

For the past few weeks I've been toying with the idea of going back to school. I've been thinking about getting a certification to be a school counselor. I'm not super excited about the idea, but my reasons for doing it would be:

I'm sure that there are as many stories of this as there are people reading this (and more), but I had a moment of total frustration and confusion about the ability of my body to make the right decisions and follow sound operational strategy today. At work I was hit all at once with a feeling of extreme thirst....and extreme "have-to-pee." As I waited for an opportunity to fix both situations, I was struck by the irony and awareness that my body had just let me down in a failure of opposites. Obviously my body is not as adept at planning as it was once. I took the option to drink first and pee second...and I estimate that I drank exactly the same amount that I peed.

Thanks, body; great job working out the not-so-minor and obvious details of hydration balance today!

I am a very adamant believer that grammars are descriptions of language conventions and not rules that must be followed. The simplest "proof" of this is how a descriptive grammar can and does account for language change, that is to say, how a language adapts to communicate effectively in an ever changing metaworld. This does not, however, allow for a willy-nilly use of language; quite the opposite. Because language functions on the basis of shared linguistic conventions (i.e. "grammar"), for effective communication to occur each communicator (encoder-decoder) must operate within those conventions. There is, thankfully, enough flexibility in every grammar to allow for creativity, error, and ignorance, but in the main the conventions must be followed. If they are not, misunderstanding results. Part of the beauty of language is in its conventions (aside from the creative breaking of conventions for a specific rhetorical purpose). So here is another friendly reminder to the public that it sure would be nice to return to a long standing convention--the "was" or "were" use.

Indicative: "I was a young boy"; "I was at the post office yesterday."
Subjunctive: "If I were rich I would buy a boat"; "If I were you, I'd use a hammer."

The indicative reports on actual, historical reality that is verifiable in time. The subjunctive reports on possible or theoretical reality that may or may not become verifiable. By using the "was" first person singular verb in subjunctive constructions we lose the subjunctive descriptivity and clarity in communication.

If (no pun intended) a person is using the subjunctive marker "if" and is speaking in the first person ("I"), then "were" must be used. The difference is between "I am" and "If I am to become/do/etc." and the latter conventionally uses "were" as the verb.

So, I'm at work and it's Memorial Day (I'm saving my vacation day for my parents' visit next week) AND I just got cursed out and threatened by a large 18-year old young man.

Awesome.

After yelling at me and calling me EVERY name in the book, he told me "You're gonna get yourself killed."
I should probably mention that this all happened because I told him he couldn't go to the video game store today since he ran away last week.


(Will and I have come up with a game to help us remain sane while frequently encountering situations like this. We earn points when we are yelled at, cursed at, etc. So, when it happens we can report it to each other and get some points. The person with the most points by the end of a certain time period gets a treat or gets to choose what we do. We haven't really been keeping track of our points but I think I pulled ahead of Will today. He said that since it's a holiday I get points-and-a-half! 75 points for me! Awesome!)

In case you're wondering.... we're still here. It's just that there's not much going on to write about. We're staying very busy with our jobs, yard work and trying to stay on top of all the pet hair and dust that accumulates so quickly. Will is still looking for a new job but doesn't currently have any prospects. So, it seems that we are once again waiting and fumbling along and trying to be faithful while we wait.
Waiting. This is all too familiar territory for us. It seems that our path keeps circling back and we keep finding ourselves in this place. It's kind of an uncomfortable and scary place. From here we're able to see things work out so easily for others and we begin to wonder what we are doing wrong. And sometimes we honestly ask God if He's forgotten about us.
But this is our journey and our path and it's unlike anyone elses. It cheapens our story and minimizes our God when we covet and complain. Please pray for us that we will not loose heart, that we will learn contentment and that we will genuinely desire God's will for our lives.... no matter what.

I received some great news yesterday. The mother that I was going to testify against in the TPR trial next week signed a consent form and voluntarily terminated her rights to her children. I cannot express how relieved I was to hear this. I have been dreading the trial ever since I received the case (almost 4 years ago.) It is a very difficult case and it was going to be a nasty trial.
Unfortunately, they are still having a TPR trial next week and I still have to testify. There is one father who has just come out of the woodwork (after his son has been in foster care for 6 years!) He is claiming that he didn't know his son was in foster care... even though he went to the first court hearing, was assigned an attorney, received a court order and had a visit with his son that was supervised by a Children's Division case manager. This "father" wants his son to come and live with him... in another state.... away from the 2 biological sisters that the boy has lived with his entire life. This "father" didn't show up at the first TPR trial... which is why it was rescheduled for next Tuesday... (my anniversary.)
Needless to say, I am very annoyed with this man right now. And with the law and court system. I don't think that he should have any right to ask for his son back after he abandoned him for 6 years.
Oh well. Maybe he'll have a change of heart and consent too.

I can't take credit for this catch because it wasn't mine--it was caught by one of my best friends though. Chris is actually the guy responsible for getting me into flyfishing, and the one who has taught me everything I know in it. A few weeks ago he stunned the locals with a 28" channel cat on his 3wt, and then since that wasn't impressive enough, he pulled this one in from a lake at Busch Wildlife. It's 26" and 7+ pounds....yes, on a 3 wt with a 4x tippet. It's NOT photoshopped, either...looks that way, but is for real.

I think every guy should have a fisherman they look up to...and envy like hell. :)

No, the Not-yet-net is not the newest Arabic word I've learned, it's what Cheryl and I (and lots of others) are very caught in and struggling to get out of. Almost everyday, at the end of the day, Cheryl and I "share" with each other to what degree we are frustrated about our current situation(s). It's not that we are complainy people, Cheryl is especially not, it's something else. It is our sense of having a sense of purpose in this world (this Creation and kingdom), wanting to be actively working out that purpose and....then having the clarity and urgency of that sense spin into impatient frustration.

For Cheryl, I cannot begin to measure or explain all that we're frustrated with. Just in her job she is under-utilized, abused and not able to see or enjoy any progress or good that she brings her kids. Yes those kids need and deserve (??) a great counselor like her, but does it have to be her? What good is it really to have her spending her days with kids who have no interest in speaking with her or making any sort of progress in their own or their families' lives? To me, and to Cheryl, it seems she is being miserably wasted. Why is she just filling shoes and an office? She is built for something else, that is certain--there is no sensible explanation for the fact that she is not doing that now. There are descriptions of the reality she and I face now ("it's mysterious preparation," "there is a hidden/greater/good reason," "I don't know, but God does"), but those are not explanations and have little energizing or comforting ability. We know what is going on, but we neither understand or agree with it. I'm sick of seeing a screwdriver used as a hammer...especially when my wife is that screwdriver.

For me, having come so close to being able to pursue a phd now and do what I really feel I'm "built for" is difficult to carry. Descriptions are everywhere, but I have yet to come close to any explanation. One of my strongest frustrations with Christianity these days is its attempt to rationalize the economic (or any other) situation as individuals find themselves in it--encouraging humility, service, patience and so forth. It is suggested that the difficulties that Christians find themselves in these days are somehow a part of God's plan for them and the Church to shape, mold and use them in the future. The problems with that abound, but the major one is: difficulty and life-purpose fulfillment are not opposed, they usually coincide. If difficulty were terminal in design implementation, then we have a real problem with most of the characters in Scripture. We find, however, that life is 1) most difficult for God's people, 2) most difficult when God's will is attended to and 3) made more difficult by sin and alleviated by righteousness.

Chaos, disconnectedness and dead ends are not a part of God's pleasure and design for His Creation; I feel no guilt for being sickened by Cheryl's and my experience of it in our lives. Having had glimpses of the beauty of Eden, of shalom, of what things were and are to be, we are simply anxious beyond words to do our jobs and work on behalf of His creation. It may be God-ordained, but everything that precedes that or impedes that in our lives is nonsense and should be avoided and detested. Otherwise, complacency and numbness are all too quick to cripple.

Yup, my 223 hours of higher education is still not enough for me, so I'm going back. This time around it's not for another degree, just for selected classes--Arabic. The community college down the road from us offers a set of Arabic classes (I-III) that I'll begin June 8th. I've already begun self-lead learning by working through some introductory grammars and Rosetta Stone, and I'll continue that through the classes. I had a fantastic experience at the community college where I did my A.A. and so I'm hopeful that this school (Meramec CC) will be equally good; I'm looking forward to it. I'm a little nervous about doing the intensive class (8wks, 4 credit hrs) while working 50 hrs a week, but thinking back to beginning Greek during my first summer at CTS (I worked FT at ITARP then) is encouraging--that time was a highlight of seminary. I'll just have to find the time to study around work/class like I did before, and I am just as passionate (if not more) about learning Arabic than I was about Greek. It'll be great, and it is really nice to have something to look forward to and work toward these days...easy to get lost in the mire of a confusing life situation that doesn't seem to connect to anything that preceded or may follow. So, with that being said, 'Al hamdu li'llah.

I spent 6 hours at court yesterday with attorneys preparing for the TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) trial and have stayed up late most nights this week looking over old case notes. I didn't sleep much last night. My stomach was in knots this morning.
The dreaded day was here.
Or, maybe not.
As I was frantically reviewing my notes, an attorney came in the waiting room and told me that the trial was not happening today. It has been continued until... wait for it... May 11th... which is Will's and my anniversary. Awesome! (insert sarcastic tone here)

Yup, about a week ago, Cheryl and I had a day off together (rare!) and we decided to begin attacking the Euonymous that is still in strong force across the side and back yards. This is a nasty process for a number of reasons: 1) it is almost impossible to kill, 2) it is expansive and forms thick mats on the ground or aerial roots on trees, 3) there is such an incredible amount of it and 4) harbors SPIDERS! We are winning the battle, but we have a long way to go. It is starting to feel good to be rid of it bit by bit; being around it gives both of us the feeling of being choked...which is how our yard must be feeling with it around!

Beyond the Euonymous (also called Winter creeper), I have a real grass/yard challenge. A number of broadleaf weeds have taken completely over some areas and the rest is covered with a sickly mix of zoysia, rye and fescue. My plan for now is to apply some Weed-n-Feed and then come back with a rake, elbow grease and Jaguar fescue in a few weeks. It looks like late-week will be dry so I'll apply the first application then--can't wait!

While waiting for the grass to come along, I planted two berry beds in the back yard, one with three blueberry bushes and the other with three raspberries. It felt really good to go out to MY yard and dig holes wherever I wanted...not having to get permission, look over my shoulder, worry about pissing off some psycho landlady...and just plant what I wanted. I even dug a few completely unnecessary holes just for fun because I could! Home-ownership has its perks!!! While digging these beds and holes, I found a 3/4 galv pipe buried. I immediately panicked and started sniffing and smelling before realizing there was no way this was a gas line. It is 5" down at the deepest (I found one section that was actually exposed under some ground cover) and is on the opposite side of the supply for the house. I think it is some sort of ghetto irrigation or remote spigot rig. I'm going to dig to the ends and trace it out....and hopefully be able to pull it out after determining it's disconnected, broken, stupid, wrong or all of those things.

Ill try to get some photos up of the outdoor progress (haven't updated that album in a while!!) soon. The amazing transformation has begun!!

A man in a suit came to deliver a subpoena to me last week. I have been called to testify in court for a Termination of Parental Rights trial of one of the mothers that I worked with in my last job. I think I may be the main testifier (is that even a word?) since I had the case for the longest out of all of the case managers. I worked with the family for almost 3 years. There's a mother with a mental illness and 3 kids involved in the case.
I am already really nervous about the trial. Every time I start thinking about it my heart races and I feel sick to my stomach. Honestly, I'm dreading it.
I covet your prayers on this.
Even though it will be heartbreaking for the mother, I really hope that her rights are terminated so that the kids can be adopted by the family they've been living with for almost 6 years.
I feel terrible for saying that. But, I honestly believe that the kids would be better off that way.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be told that you no longer have rights to the kids that you gave birth to. To be told that you are an unfit parent. The whole thing just seems so awful.
The trial is next Thursday, 4/8 at 9:00am. It may last ALL day. Ugh.
Please pray.

First--we now have a PERMANENT occupancy permit for our house!! That means the schedule of when work has to be done is now gone and we can work at our own pace. That is good because....

...Second--I am actively and vigorously job hunting again. After a particularly awful day at work, my efforts to find a better job were re-upped and Im back out beating the bushes. I gotta get outta there. Unfortunately, this is taking up most of my free time (which is limited).

All in all, my days are pretty long, pretty rough, and pretty tiring. I'm ready to make the next step forward in a lot of things and dig out of what is proving to be a really unhappy and discouraging time.

In the mean time...I just go fishing.

Sometimes it's the little things that remind us of how much someone loves us. For me, it was that darn camera charger. I prayed that God would help me find it before the concert.
Well, I can't wait to post all of the pictures that I took at the concert Friday night.
Yes, we found the charger Thursday night.
Thank you, God, for caring about something so seemingly insignificant! It was really sweet.

Now, if you'd only help Will find a better job ;)

My camera has been broken for about 8 months and I finally got it fixed. At least I think it's fixed. I haven't actually tried it out since Sony sent it back to me because I've lost my camera charger. I've been looking for it for almost a month now.

At work, I pretty regularly am confronted by unconventional grammar and unsavory manners. One practice has really become common, but highly aggravating.

"Sorry" means Ive just done something and regret it.

"Pardon" or "excuse me" means I'm about to unavoidably do something that, without warning, would necessitate "sorry."

Do NOT say "sorry" regarding something you are about to do...and continue on to do after having said "sorry." If you were sorry, you wouldn't do the very thing you are apologizing for immediately after apologizing.

Will and I went downtown yesterday to go to the St. Louis Home and Garden Show. We were hoping to look at some plants and get some ideas for our yard but that didn't really happen. It was more of a home show than a garden show and so we were disappointed.
BUT, there was something that made the whole trip worth it.... Well, two things actually.
1) A funnel cake. (Went perfect with a free sample of coffee.)
2) A frisbee dog show.

We caught the "Disc Connected Frisbee Dogs" show. It was amazing! The people who own and train the dogs rescue all of the dogs and train them. The last dog in the show was the 2009 Frisbee Dog World Champion. There were 3 dogs that performed during our show and all of their stories were so sad. The owners see it as a ministry to rescue these dogs, train them and either keep them or adopt them out.

You would never know by looking at these dogs that they had ever had ruff lives (i'm cheesy, i know.) It was such a beautiful picture of rescue, restoration and new life.

It really wasn't that long ago that our bathroom looked like this, only about 4 months ago. We really have come a long way on the house; it's easy to forget that.

This video covers the mostly finished workbench that my father and I built a few weekends ago. It's indescribably nice to have something like that to work on/with in the basement!

Sorry for the poor quality; I'm going back to the larger video size on future videos to fix that.

This video covers the next round of work on the bathroom window and cabinet.

I decided to go forward with videos, but reduce the size of the image for faster uploading and viewing--let me know which size works better for you all. This video covers some of the latest happenings in the bathroom, to be continued in later videos.

While Cheryl is counting her blessings, I'm counting projects. I need to get some pictures up, so look on Picasa soon for those. The 4'x8' workbench is complete: framed with 2x6s and topped with 2 sheets of 3/4" MDF (yes, a 1.5" thick top) that are drilled, countersunk and screwed to the frame with 3" deckmates--this table is SOLID. It has been a huge blessing (hey, there's one, I'll count that!) on the projects I've been undertaking. To have a large, flat, solid work surface is impossible to overstate.

I am well into building the built-in cabinet in the bathroom. Right now, the face frame is about complete and ready for shelves, two doors and two drawers. To go any further I "need" a router table, so I've begun installing that into the workbench. Tonight I'll install electric onto the perimeter of the bench (no more unplugging and replugging every tool, every tool change!). Then I'll rout the recess for the router plate, make a fence and install the t-tracks and miter-track.

I won't be able to finish the cabinet before we install the tile and heating mats since the tile will run under the footprint of the cabinet, so for now I am leaving the bottom 18" or so open. I can still do the rest, and just build and install the two bottom drawers after the floor.

The other therapist that I work with is being let go this Friday. Our facility is really low on kids and can't afford to keep two therapists. She was hired a month or so before I was.
I am humbled.
There are no guarantees.
Life can change in an instant.
My security must be placed in Christ alone.

I have a much greater appreciation now for my job.

• A loving, faithful, just and patient God
  
• Will... quite possibly the world's most perfect husband!


• Heat... somehow ours got turned off at the thermostat over the weekend and it was 43 degrees INSIDE!!! when we woke up Sunday morning... it was so nice to feel that warm air flowing through the vents when we turned it back on!


• Employment... I know I complain about my job A LOT... and it is very hard... I am still very thankful for it... and more than it just paying the bills... At times, I get to be a part of some really sacred and holy moments when the boys let down their walls and allow me to sit with them in their pain and disappointment... Those are the times when I feel like I am right where I need to be


• Family... I have a great family! I wish I could live closer to my family and see them more often.


• More family... Will's family is such a blessing to me and to us. I am really glad that we live close to them. I love my in-laws! (And I'm not just saying that because they may read this.)


• Friends... I have very dear friends here in St. Louis and from college.


• 3 very silly and loving pets


• Sunshine... Oh, how I've missed the sun lately! It's shining in my window right now and it feels glorious!


• A house... It does need a lot of work, but it's ours! It is especially cute at night with the lights on inside. I love coming home!


• Will... did I mention that I have a great husband?! He is so handsome, smart, strong, handy, capable, sweet and silly.

I am truly blessed!