YEAH

DONE

i am really scared

ever since that day i cried over econs. i dont know what am i going to do anymore. i mean if i totally screwed up my A levels, how am i going to face the rest of the world. i have no idea at all. i cant even face anyone then. i am very scared i cant get into NUS at all.

it really would hurt me to NOT get into the Uni. i dont mind being the last person who can enter my geog fac. as long as i can get in. but what ARE the chances???

after taking majority of the papers, suddenly i feel that my AAB is light years away. the most i can get is probally a BCD. and that is like shit... what if i get a BDD. then i comfirm cannot get into U liao. i dont want that. i just want to get into the UNI!!!!!!!!!!!!

after so long no blog i want to curse MOE+cambridge

i was totally banging on this paper for my A... and you know what??? even the great ms geography gives up and kowtow to the question paper...

i cant do the drq
i cant do the essay

it was the WORSE geog paper i have ever done. the questions all ask of weird stuff. i have no time. no brain. no luck. hell with A levels.

FREGGING GEOG
FREGGING MOE
FREGGING CAMBRIDGE!!!!!!!!

LIT/ECON/GEOG

GONE!!!!!!!!!!!

" There IT Goes "
Sixpence None The Richer and shanny

--> There it goes
There it goes again
Racing through my brain
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains <--

there goes my half question
there goes my 15 marks
there goes my A
there goes my As (note the diff)
there goes my 1000million turnover company
there goes my career
there goes everything

i am going to join the 3.5% unemployed in singapore.
i am going to be unskilled.
i cant have the joy of burning my notes coz ill need them again next year.

did you see that BLOODY question paper??? i had one hour brain block. ONE HOUR!!! didnt even know what i was writing bout. no structure no content no graphs no nothing!!!

hope everyone screwed it up... but SOME PEOPLE think it is easy!!! like hello??? harder than prelims. question SO FREEKING VAGUE that i didnt even know what the mirco question wanted and what the macro question needed. i just wrote the same point over and over again. the whole essay was just talking bout imported inflation and fiscal. great...

one word...

SCREWED

letter to cambridge

Dear cambridge,

you know what??? i think you SUCK... what is your point trying to make me SUFFER like that. post examination TRAUMA is WORSE than anything. you give me things that NOBODY ever knows the answer to and expect me to write you a 3 PAGE ESSAY!!!

wish GLOBAL WARMING make winters for you this year EXTREAMLY FREEZING of an ideal -100*C. or even better if the ice cap melts and drown your little town. (no hard feelings to other regions) just cambridge...

yours:
shanny

i am really screwed
just remembered that i wrote "lit paper 5" on the cover page
shit
this is BAD...
hope they dont notice

hell Abaism

hey everybody!!! Shanny is dead... cambridge decided that they want me dead. think ill try jumping down bishan mrt station. people love to commit suicide there, what's one more???

lit today was really horrible. how else can i explain it??? EVERYTHING I NEVER STUDY CAME OUT!!! just great... i would just wish that Shakespear was NEVER born... stupid idiot gave me so much trouble. when i didnt study Rome... it just HAVE TO COME OUT!!! ROME!!! and what the hell is "political manouvring"??? stupid extract got NOTHING TO SAY... then the content question i dont even know what the damn quote is yabbling bout.

Chaucer??? when i NEVER study the ending... it has to come out... didnt even have the time or mood to reach the end and it HAS to come out... even a normal person would have LDMR after 30 pages of translation. STUPID CHAUCER... you can just go join Shakespear in death do you two part.

then comes Eliot.......... .......... ......................... .......................... ............. ............. ..................... ............................ ................... ... ...... ...............................

analyse??? analyse what??? i write five mins then i spend ten staring right to siting, thinking how to analyse and evulate... thus... no evaluation. 3 pages of surface elaboration. great, just greaaaaaaattttttttttt!!!!!!!!!

TOLD YA THAT"S IT FOR ME!!!

shit

shit

shit

shit


SHIT

5 generations

there are five generations in my family before my great grand mother passed on. 5!!!

there are so many cousins and relatives i never knew i ever had. i've always thought there were only four generations but not 5. there is some ACS guy that is donno whos son son son. or something like that. my extended family is so HUGE that even i have trouble keeping track of my usual CYN family. let alone tons more.

great grand mother is 93. and she has already seen her 5th generation. how cool is that? if only i could live that old. that means that everyone gave birth at 18 in order to have 5 generations. you can only do that in the olden days. with the low birth rate and emancipation of women in singapore, i will only be able to see my grand children by the time i am 90.

talk bout GREAT GREAT GRAND child.
she must be one happy woman.

think it is going to come out in the orbituries tomorrow.
janelle: i'm a celebrity too!!!

WHY???

there are some things that nobody can explain.
like:

why must she die NOW???
why am i sittin for my As NOW???
why must i continue to study???
why must i be born in singapore???
why am i suffering under the hands of the govt???
why does it keeps raining EVERY AFTERNOON???
why cant i concentrate on anything i see on paper???

why
why
why....

WHY MUST IT START TOMORRO???

my great grandmother passed away last night

my head is in a blank now.
lit is not going in.
there goes my lit.
FAIL!!!

i dont know what to make out of this.
i want to live to ripe old age like her.
i dont want to see her body.
ill have to later

why cant i see my AAB???

i have this really strong feeling that i may just end up getting a BBD. i really have no idea why. my As seems like light years away. i feel damn stressed now. i have too many things to do and study coz an idiot like me totally wasted two whole months after prelims. yup. totally regret not starting earlier.

why i have been bloggin much lately
either two reasons:
1. i have nothing to do at home and resort to turning to the com to spend my time.
2. too stressed

it is OBVIOUSLY the latter. i just feel that blogging makes me happy and relaxed FOR A FEW MINS...

you know what??? I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!

i have spending the ENTIRE day "tryng" to memorise middle english and so far i have "nothyng" in my head. yeah. that is how they spell it. i feel "totore" and feel like "sweryng". i am so freeking pissed.

there is so many "thyngs" in my head. a totally rojak of parody, irony, paradox, bathos, characteristic, exemplum, tale, perverce, exhortation, allusions, holy trinity, sins, evil, death, performer, redemption, concerns, methods, tone, structure, rhyme.... blah blah blah...

i feel like my head's gonna blow. and i have not memoriesed anything important. i have my points but what is the point when i cant even substantiate with quotes.... SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!]

a letter to the Right Honorable Sir Chaucer
from shanny

Dear SIR chaucer,
i have been recently informed about your award winning story, it is SLIGHTLY distinguished by CRITICS and is my HONOR to be able to witness the product of such a HIGHLY MAGNIFICANT writer like yourself. however, i am (not) very PLEASED to recieve such a WONDEROUS WORK from your hands.

when i first came across YOUR UNDYING PRESENCE in the content of the material, i was OVERPOWERED, like the REST OF MANKIND, by the CRUDE CHIEM LANGUAGE that beautified the characters. the ENCHANTMENT of your LANGUAGE is enough to cause anyone to consider JUMPING (out of the window) for JOY.

i have found your morals PLEASING to the BOWALS, and i would be glad to feed SOME FIRE to burn the heat it has created in the literary arena. it is DESERVING of UPMOST ATTENTION at the literary ABLISS. i would like to recomand your work - the pardoner prologue and tale, to the TOMB of HISTORY. it is so NICELY DONE and PERFECTLY FINISHED that i hope NO RESTORATION would be needed and it can be left to SURVIVE itself on the SHELF (and rot to death).

thank you for your utmost attention.
with all do RESPECT:
your MOST HUMBLE READER,
shanny (the greater than you)

ps: rest IN PIECES!!!

IF I HAD ONE MILLION DOLLARS...
top 10 things i will do, in order of wants

1. pay someone to burn cambridge
2. pay someone to fly a plane into cambridge
3. pay a scienctist to develop a virus that will eat the brain of ALL other candidates taking A levels in Singapore (yup, u r not my friend and that brainless person would include u)
4. staple the one million check into exam script
5. pay a rich man to marry me (okay lame)
6. migrate to somewhere safe from education
7. donate all my money to greenpeace foundation and delicate my every being to saving turtles in the atlanic ocean
8. make a movie bout my pathetic life and create a strike against singapore education system.
9. buy a nice coffin and piece of land on the Alps and then jump down from house window.
10. anything of the above

somebody KILL me!!!

i dont care how i die anymore. as long as i do it will be okay. ill accept the machine gun, the parang knife, the top floor, the speeding ferari, the MRT, the rat poison, the den of lions, the aliens, ANYTHING!!!

i just want this to end... i cant take it anymore. i've been mugging all day, i think my head's gonna explode. and i am demoralised coz i have not and is not going to finish anything. i have so much thing to memorise and read and so littly FREEKING TIME!!!!!!!!! i really feel that i cant do this this year.

there is so many things in my head, they are not in any order. i feel that i can open a rojak store and sell my brain. haha... not!

i just need more time

i have not finished econs
i have not finished human
i have not STARTED lit

i have never felt so unprepaired for an exam in my entire 2 years in JC. i feel suffocated. i cant seem to think anymore. nothing goes in. you know what? i am scared. i am afraid that ill never make it into university. or worse still that i am going to have to repeat.

i am afraid everything will go wrong.
i dont want anything to go wrong.
i cant afford it.

i need some sleep

hardly closed my eyes last night.
was just waiting and waiting for them to come back.
4 hours.
a pathetic 4 hours

how am i going to survive the day???

shit i dozed off

and i have been telling myself NOT to ever sleep.
the drillin is still there.

suddenly the more i think bout GP
the more i think i totally wrote out of point
i didnt even define "fantasy"
totally talked bout rubbish.
shrek and matrix counted as fantasy???
what bout manga???

oh shit.
i think i can retain.
no more chairman of big company
hello road sweeper!

JUST STOP

DRILLING

AND SHUT UP


how can anyone focus on their Alevels when there is constant drilling going on??? like the future of singapore is in your hands people!!! TONS of NEGATIVE EXTERNALITIES!!! you are depriving one more business woman from entering the work force. for all u know, i may be the future founder of a $10000b turnover company which is totally going to contribute to singapore's economy.

can concentrate at all. already suffecate self by closing all windows to TRY to shut out sound. i dont even have enough oxygen to the brain. then i am trying blasting classical music to HOPEFULLY sooth my brain, but end up STILL Hearing the drilling!!!!!!!

i know the drilling is to build guang yang sec downstairs, but the chances of all the future students of THAT neighbourhood sch there may not even match up to ME. hello??? future chairman of BIG COMPANY HERE!!!!!!!!! *points to self* like get ur future planning right.

i dreamt of keanu reeves last night

and we were so in love.
he came to look for me dressed in black.
almost died-ed in my sleep.
didnt even want to wake up.

my ELYSIAN FIELDS



big red ant, small red ant, big black ant, small black ant, tiny black ant.
spent my time birdwatching too.
mynah, sparrow, yellow cannery, blue long beaked bird.
took a pic but too small to zoom in.
not bad place coz i manage to study my econ geog here.

click to zoom in

diablio once again

was just taking my lunch break.
saw the com emtpy
sat down
touched the mouse

then i started to play diablio again.
ok. i shall stop at 3

hey there people

studying can be so difficult. i almost died today TRYING to focus. one min i was reading notes, the next i was doing my accounting, then the next i am blasting the radio, then the next i am in the kitchen making drink.

i cant focus at all. suddenly i found myself painting my nails for fun... AGAIN!!! help me man!!! but this time i came up with two really cool looking design.



i am super bored of studying, dont ask me why i did this. i haveno idea myself. maybe just felt that i need to expose my creativity. ahhh... rubbish!!! you know what? lunch time i still got time to paint another disgusting picture. i think i am totally going kuku... *bird comes out from clock*

it is totally ugly but dont expect much when i just did it in 15 mins. just swapped the brush over the paper. think it is damn ugly.

world wide declaration

okay people. shanny is going to make a declaration. in 20 mins time, shanny is going to for a 10 hour a day study spree. i cannot waste my time like the past week, i must strive for perfect A level results. shall not idle my time away in front of the tv and com. shall chiong like mad. mugger shall be my name.

10 days straight mugging till my next paper.
no excuses.

to pass or not so pass

that is the question.

what more difficult is 12 essay titles that you have no connection to. though the rest 11 i got no hao gan. at least i could totally connect with Q10- discuss the appeal and value of fantasy stories and film. lucky i am such a big fantasy fan. i love my magic. but liking and expressing is two diff thing.

the entire essay was filled with "flying carpets", "flying dinosaurs", and "knights in shining armour" yes. throse were the exact same words i used. i feel like i was talking to a kid. i really hope that the marker love "fire-breathing dragons" and "king arthur" if not i am so totally doomed to fail.

after writing one half page, i suddenly remembered that i forgot to place my stand and treatment. i heard cambridge people are very concern and particular over structure. and my essay was obb sided. that is what you get for a super fan (the cons). i am so doomed!!!!!!!! come to think of it. my language was worst then chaucer's. if you know how in the freeking world he writes, you know that i am gonna die a horrible death. i am going to suffer language marks.

i really hope i do not fail my GP. i have been frequenting the Cs way too often. think this time is going to be just the same. like i have said in my previous post. what more is one F to a collection o Fs. if i fail GP, i fail everything else. then ill never be able to make it into U, become a road sweeper or kalang guni woman. maybe i should just delicate my life into SPCA or the green-earth foundation. come to think of it, ill rather save the turtles and whales then suffer from the stress of singapore.

Dear God...
dont let me fail
amen...

GP is no doubt the most difficult subject on earth

markers have problem with everything you write on your paper.
grammer/ spelling/ vocab/ expression/ argument/ examples... etc.
that is your entire essay

dont think i can do compre at all.
have been failing for the past two years.
what is one more F to my collection of Fs?
should try to set record for most Fs.
yeah... thats the way.

hope the bell curve works right.
i did it for Os.
hopefully ill do it for As.
come on... what ARE the chances???????????????

shanny lastes craze

sorry ppl totally addicted to this song.
please stand the popups for a while
i just feel like hearing it
will take it out soon

how to keep the rain away from your window
utterly lame tips from shanny

1. close the window (duh)
2. close the blind
3. plant a tree outside (tree=interception)
4. buy a turbo fan to blow droplets away from window
5. buy a house without windows
6. move to hawaii
7. tear down the windows (then you have rain through a hole)
8. stare into the sky and use superpowers to will rain away
9. install an evaporiser to evapourate all rain befor touching window
10. just call it water and convince self that u r watering ur floor

okay really lame, but i cant help it la. so stressed up and wacko from all the weird stuff. think i am going mad

down to my third bottle

third bottle of alcohol for the As. *drinking as i type* yup... think i am turning into an alcoholic soon. it really does do something to your nerves. besides it is cold with all the rain. a little thing burning in ur tummy wouldnt hurt. keep you sane and awake too. (OKAY IRONIC). away with the flu bug.

alcohol is nice, but i very scared i get this gigantic beer tummy. then i will have to walk around singapore like moses lim. can you even see that??? nothing too heavy. nothing more than 20% so dont worry, i am not going to turn tipsy or drunk and end up getting rapes and murdered. besides that is no one to rape me unless they are blind or without brain.

*burp* okay. too much gas in that one.

in contary to yesterday...

i slept like a bloody PIG!!! GOD was i SO SLEEPY by 9 i just dozed off. couldnt even wake up today. had to snooze for 35mins before the zombee dragged my body into the toilet. i just wanted to die and then ill be able to sleep for enternity and forget bout my As.

speaking of the As...
HELP!!!!!!!

i have no confidence in GP at all. i am still failing my compres like utter madly disgust. God, even i am disgusted by myself. what kind of grades can i possibly have that can save my life. nothing.

barely slept an eyelash

i slept way past my bedtime last night. there was so many things that were going through the house i simply have to keep my brain awake. then this morn at 4+++ the whole house was up and about. totally woke me up though i really wanted to pig more. besides, i had to rush my compre at 5 am.

only gotten 4+ hours of precious sleep. i could never survive 12 hours without 6 hours of sleep. the whole world knows that sleep is the most important thing in my life. i would give up my A levels to sleep if i really have to. i am not going to risk my reputation of panda-ing my beautiful face. not worth it when you cant even think straight. must look pretty...

think i was so mentally drained by 12 but i manage to pull through lit after 3. after two cups of coffee. my eye bags were so huge you dont even need a binocules to spot it 1 km away. and then you know what? it had to rain...

yes i know. think i am against mother nature. wouldnt it be better if it rained at night when you are a sleep rather then when you are trying to keep your brain waves working. my poor shoes lao zhui and then my sock was swimming in the shoe by the time i step through the house door.