Well, in the news these days, there is a bunch of craziness regarding children adopted from Russia. And let me just tell you something...
Adoption can be HARD. Not just parenting hard. HARD.
While some of the things that go on in the families we are hearing about is dreadful and hurtful and absolutely the worst. I can sympathize.
When we brought our sweet boy home, our world turned upside down. Our amazingly quiet, loving and peaceful home was suddenly wrought with pain, sadness, and hurt. It came pouring out from all of us - Maks, Jason and me.
Trauma happens to many of us. In my childhood I felt like I was never living up to standards. That left me trying to be perfect. In Jason's he felt abandoned by his mom and dad - even though they were kinda there. But he never felt like one of the group. Maks, of course, was physically and emotionally abandoned in the extreme.
So when we became one, all hell broke loose. We were expecting to bring a child home that did not have a family. Who we brought home... was a child without love. It is difficult to explain.
A smile and a hug brought us a bite and a kick. A quiet simple home had yelling (my absolute nightmare), threats of leaving (Jason's absolute nightmare) and pain. The violence thrust upon us triggered some horrible things inside both of us parents. We found an ugly person living inside the bottom drawer of our file cabinets. (Great analogy Heather Forbes!!) How do you think Maks felt!?! But, through the utter strength of my husband, we came through alive.
And well.
We have talked through our inner pain and tried to deal with it so that we could become better parents for our boy. It is working. The process is slow and has its ups and downs.
Please do not judge those who deal with these traumatized children. They will judge themselves.
sooo...ummm...yes...
I wish everyone could see the love that is growing inside of Maks. He is amazing. He is sweet. We are working on kind.
