8.21.2025

Hello? Is anyone out there? I spent a few hours reading through this old blog, and I thought I might say hello again.

Well, that's done. Until next time... 

 ...but in the meantime, I'll set down a little children's poem I wrote last summer before we left Ohio and moved to the desert. Maybe I'll want to come back and read it again later. It's meant to have pictures, but I don't draw. I think the poem isn't much without the visuals, but that's what your imagination is for, and that's what the poem is encouraging anyway. 

 Letter Play on a Summer’s Day 

The ends of my swing set are held up by A’s. (swing set) 
The horizon is dotted with B’s of hay. (haybales) 
There’s a C from a pot that has been taken away, (watermark) 
And a D on the nose of my gentle Faye. (cow’s splotchy nose) 

The old wooden fence is E after E. (fence) 
The breeze blows an F in the willow tree. (branches) 
On its bark grows a G of mossy green. (mossy knot) 
In the garden, on a wire H, climbs sugar snap peas. (trellis) 

Clinking I’s dance to their own summer tune. (windchimes) 
I lean in a J to gaze at the day moon. (narrator on porch) 
Sideways K’s have their lunch at noon. (donkey’s eating) 
Four L’s wall the flower beds, crimson and blue. (garden walls) 

The weight of a child reveals an M. (boy on trampoline) 
The American flag flaps fabric N’s. (flag) 
Watermelon O’s have been pecked by hens. (watermelon) 
A red P means there’s a letter the mailman must send. (mailbox flag) 

Crawfish hide in the R stream bed. (stream) 
A worm wriggles S as baby birds are fed. (worm) 
Shiny blue T’s flit and float overhead. (dragonflies) 
A flock of tail-feathers and U-beaks are lovingly led. (goslings/mother goose) 

Wasps dive from their hive, a V upside down (wasp nest in eaves) 
Green W’s adorn plump fruit like a crown. (strawberries) 
The trains cross an X as they travel through town. (train tracks) 

A treehouse rests in the Y of an oak. (treehouse) 
Burned brush and orange embers send up Z smoke. (dying fire) 

Now it’s your turn to find A to Z! 
Go outside and see what YOU see. 
Simply squint your eyes and furrow your brow.
Search the ground, left and right, then up in the clouds!

9.25.2017

35 (And Stressed) Going on 40 (And Calm)

My birthday was on Thursday. I'm 35. I'm 40, if you round up, which I do. So I'm 40.

I posted the following on Facebook:

"This guy hit it out of the ballpark for my birthday. Not only did he take a day off from work to stay home with the kids so I could go out, he planned my day! Lunch, two thrift stores, a movie, Target, Christmas shops, and ice cream! I came home that evening to a cake he'd made from scratch, inspired by the Needhams we'd had in Maine. It was honestly the best chocolate cake I've ever had. Oh, there's more! He recorded the kids and himself talking about me, and they all made cards.. and he's having my car detailed! The day was awesome, but being reminded that Nate knows me so well and loves me this much was honestly the best part. It was my birthday, sure, but this day, for me, was all about him. LOVE." 
 

Being a 35-year-old woman in her early 40's married for 7 years, I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary for this particular birthday. I have been a bit stressed lately, and we are talking about having another baby...I guess it follows that Nate would want to give me respite. And he apparently loves me BIG TIME.

Update on life...

I was called as the Young Women's president in our ward a little over a year ago. We had moved into the ward only 3 months before, so for that and other reasons, it was unexpected. When the Bishop asked what my thoughts were after having extended the call, I told him I was excited to be challenged and to learn. He told me that he felt strongly impressed that I was to be the president. So it was a challenge at first (still is) as I had to learn everything about the program, the ward, and the girls (30 total) all in one fell swoop. We've recently released our Personal Progress specialist, so that part of the program now falls on me, too. All in all, it's been what I expected it to be... challenging, rewarding, and never routine. 

Nate was called as the Young Single Adult leader in our ward. Generally, they call a couple to do this calling, but they had no intention of releasing me as Young Women's President... so I've been asked to "unofficially" serve alongside Nate. "It's like being the Bishop's wife. You have unofficial responsibilities beyond your normal calling," the Bishop told me. At first I was beyond excited; it felt right. And then it sunk in. In addition to attending ward council, Laurel class, mutual, temple trips, firesides, BYC, presidency and class presidency meetings, I was now going to be hosting activities in my home for the YSAs. Wowza. Did I mention we are in charge of the ward Halloween party, and Young Women In Excellence in coming up? And I have 3 kids? And I'm trying to get pregnant? And Nate works 11 hour days? And he's on a 3-day business trip right now? I'm just saying that it's a lot...

So, I've been stressed. Instead of focusing on my kids and enjoying time to myself here and there, I'm CONSTANTLY thinking of my calling. When I put my calling aside and take time for my family, I feel guilty. And when I do my calling, I feel guilty for ignoring my family. It's kinda a no-win situation. But I LOVE my calling. It's a crazy interplay of feeling validated and feeling flawed... and growing.

My mom posted 3 pictures on my birthday of me with my cakes at different ages. The first cake was a vibrant yellow, piped-icing homemade Big Bird cake for my 2nd birthday. I'm smiling sweetly in my high chair adorned with a red balloon. The second cake was a chocolate ice cream cake from the corner gas station decorated with pink icing - "Happy Birthday, Emilie!" ("Those cakes were good!" my mom informs me.) I was wearing a gingham dress with a bow on the collar, and I'm clearly in the middle of a birthday party; my friends are on either side of me leaning onto the table awaiting a piece of the cake. I was 7. The third cake is a Pepperidge Farm cake from the grocery freezer section decorated with those hard icing decals found in the cake decorating isle. The decals came from a single pack meant to adequately decorate any cake, I guess. Six blue circles and a crooked-HAPPY BIRTHDAY for this 8 year old. Done and done. I'm wearing a t-shirt with neon print and smiling at the camera before getting back to my water painting. 

I'm sure my mom was busy. I'm sure she was stressed. In fact, I remember when she had a miscarriage, and it must have been sometime during or between my 7th and 8th birthdays. She may not have hand-piped the icing on my cakes those years, but she was still throwing a party and taking pictures despite LIFE. And that's something I have to remind myself of often... that our collective memories are full of holes and patterns. I don't remember those cakes, but I remember that there was always A cake.

This year, on my first of several 40th birthdays, I was stressed, I was loved, I was reminded, and I had cake.

I got this. 

11.23.2016

Oil Can

It's Thanksgiving eve, and as my boys watched all 2 and a half hours of the first Harry Potter movie, I somehow ended up on my old blog... this blog... and decided that I want to resurrect it. I have no idea how this will go, but I definitely need to use my brain again. Because raising children doesn't require my brain. Bahaha. But seriously, my brain has lost some neural pathways. It's time to blaze some new neural trails.

Today while I was walking into Costco for some last minute Thanksgiving dinner shopping (because you can spend $200 last minute like that), a gray-haired man had that familiar smirk on his face as he was leaving... that smirk where I know he's about to say something about my kids. "That's like herding cats right there!" I smiled and said, "Exactly right!"

I've become a cat lady, apparently. And I thought you had to be single and alone for that to happen.

Life, man. My life is like Groundhog Day, as I so often tell Nate. How many times have I cleaned up spilled milk and cereal during breakfast? How many times have I told the boys to not jump on the couch? How many times have I wrestled with Ruby while changing her diaper? So much of what I do is repetition that I feel like a robot. Words come out of my mouth before I've thought about them. They are already there, ingrained in my brain as the default response to a, b, and c. This is just reality. In some ways I don't feel present, but I think I have to exist this way in order to stay sane. I have to retain some control over the monotonous chaos by disengaging from the mindlessness that is repetition. I exist in my head during much of these moments, but my kids pull me out as soon as they break the expected pattern. It's all a bizarre interplay of being reflexive and being engaged.

Having so many cats has given me cat-like reflexes. Have I completed any thoughts here? I usually like to make it full circle, but I think I'm a bit rusty. Until next time...

11.07.2010

i think the title of the last post said it

I am no longer going to use my blog. I'm posting to let you know that you won't need to come back anymore. Thanks for reading while you have! We'll keep in touch by other means. Farewell, amoonroseoveranopenfield.blogspot.

The End

11.04.2010

do you see what i see?


I love this picture because Nate looks like a dork. He was working on a paper for school, so I went and periodically distracted him with my pong skills.

It's been interesting finding out each other's interests or seeing each other in different situations. We gave talks in church on Sunday during which I introduced us... just like every other married couple does who is new to a ward. We are sooo married. Tag-teaming talks. He said afterward that he liked how I rested one foot behind the other as I stood. I now have a new perspective. I hadn't realized that I do that.

As I type this, the picture I'm posting is in code. My eye caught "/Joy6" and I started thinking about how happy I am. Nate and I were talking about it last night... happiness. We are happy. I remember a teacher from my freshman year of college telling us the story of how he waited for and finally met his wife. He had to wait a long time, and by the time he married he had the experience to understand and know how blessed he was to not be alone anymore. I kinda feel that way.