Mike, Amy and Maddie

Well, I have a VERY serious decision to make. If I am going to start blogging then I will need to cut my nails shorter. Do I want to make that sacrifice for my posterity? I'm really loving the long nails. I love that hardly anyone else has them this long and pointy except celebrities, ha. Yes I am that prideful about my nails!

The problem is, nothing is being written down. So many funny, spiritual and sweet stories are being lost. Any time I have looked at my past posts, I am reminded of stories I completely forgot. Like the time I turned in pop cans to buy cadbury mini eggs bc I was so poor. What a great memory.

Then there's Maddie, I have everything written down about the first couple years of her life. Carden is going to have nothing if I don't start soon. SO- here's to hoping that I will start up on the blogging again.

There are a few things that I want to write down before I forget:

We have been telling maddie what "a big girl" she is when we are proud of her. So what does she say when she DOESN'T want to do something? "But I can't do that, I'm just a little girl". Smart cookie.

Another famous line she's using is "But it's too hard". I ask her to pick up something that is a foot away from her, and THAT is her response, it is too hard.

Maddie is a sunbeam now. She really enjoys the class but does not enjoy primary. She cries and asks us to stay and maddie hardly cries about anything, so it's very difficult to watch. She says primary is boring and I really don't blame her.

OK- this is something that is really great about having a blog JUST open to you guys, I can say some stuff that I wouldn't say otherwise. Let's talk about primary:

Don't take this as a sign that I am struggling or questioning my testimony, but do you ever have a hard time with how the church does something? This is something I have a hard time with, why does music time have to be so boring? Why do they have to be so reverent? Why can't they have fun and laugh and get loud during singing time? Is it because the leaders are afraid that if they get hyper they won't be able to clam them down? I've never been in the presidency or music program so I honestly have no idea. But the second the kids get excited about anything they tell them to be quiet and reverent. Are they afraid someone's going to hear them in the hallway? To be honest, we can hear adults talking in the hallway from our Sunday School class, so why can't we handle hearing the children in primary laughing when we walk by? Like I said I've never done it, so maybe they have to do it that way to keep the peace. I thought Maddie would love primary specifically bc of music time, that was my FAVORITE part in Primary, and she said it was boring. It made me sad. Is this something the people in the church have made up themselves? Or is this something the brethren has asked us to do? Or is it different in every ward? Is there something in the handbook about this? I just don't get it. Hello, these are kids! I feel like if I got called to Music Time, then they'd tell the bishop to release me bc I'm too irreverent. And then also- I feel like the whole time is devoted to LEARNING or Learning ABOUT the songs. Which I get, and think is necessary and good, but what about the fun stuff too? Are your wards like this?

Right now I am watching Walking Dead, which is a subject for a whole other blog, but point being, we were heavily watching a very violent, heavy, stressful show. We are all sick now and it's just too much for us right now. So we started watching Friends. I was excited to watch it, hadn't seen it in years. It's a show mom wouldn't let us watch, and wow I know why now! Is all they do is talk about sex!!!! I thought- how could a show from 21 yrs ago be "bad" I'm sure standards were higher on TV, but yowsa, it really isn't something I should be watching. I've fast forwarded and skipped quite a few episodes. Obviously I need to just not watch it, but I am just watching it bc life is hard right now and i need something light and funny. I know, it's awful, but my original point was- I didn't know Friends was that bad! No wonder you didn't let us watch it mom! And also, while I do think it is really funny, it is REALLY cheesy. I don't remember that either.

I have a friend who is going to try and open a bakery, specifically cookies. So who does she call? Me. haha. I love that she called me for advise. She said "I knew you were a big enough treat snob to ask these kind of questions to". I actually felt really flattered! She asked for all my recipes and I gave them to her and my question for all of you is, does she need to alter them to sell them? Is that legal to sell someones recipe/cookie? I have seen  home made Toll House Cookies for sale at UofO, Just curious about that. Anyway, I really hope it works out for her. I don't know how you could work at a bakery and not be overweight. I suppose you'd get sick of your cookies and they wouldn't tempt you anymore. So you'd probably just be overweight the first 2 years, ha.

We have all been sick for a week now. Maddie sounds just as bad or worse as she did a week ago, And I am still awful but improving. Mike finally caught it yesterday. Eyeyey. I hate being sick. And no matter how many times I get sick, I become very irrational and wonder if it's something MORE serious than it is, and I feel like I'm dying. I feel like the emotional/mental part is just as bad as the physical part for me! It is really annoying, and every time I get better I say to myself "Amy, nothing happened, so NEXT TIME remind yourself that you don't need to worry", but when I get sick, it all becomes too real again and I freak out. eeyeyeyeye.

I wish that Manicurists could communicate well. I want to find someone who will just put on some acrylics for me, and I want to do the painting/design part. They charge an arm and a leg if you want anything more than a color, which I am perfectly capable of doing but i like having long thick nails. I considered teaching myself how to do it, but that sounds really hard and time consuming, which brings me back to- I wish you could talk to the darn people so I could find someone who could just do the acrylics for me and charge less. And if they aren't willing to do that- at least find someone who I could communicate with! I had to file my OWN nails when I got home because the lady kept making them oval even though I kept saying pointy, while making the sign with my hands. And she kept making them shorter! First world problems. I just wish it weren't so darn expensive. I'm trying really hard to accept the price and not worry about it, but I can be a stingy little buggar sometimes.

Let's talk about Carden: Carden is the sweetest baby I have ever met. We basically didn't hear him cry until he started teething. It is crazy. Now he has become more vocal/whine/cry as he wants things "his way" but if we just do what he wants then he calms right down. A few times I have put him in the crib AWAKE, and he just goes to sleep on his own. Again, I say a few times, not every time. And the other times I just rock him for maybe a minute and then he goes to sleep. Let's compare and contrast to Maddie at this age: Maddie didn't GO TO BED until 3 or 4 am. ha! It took months to work our way down to midnight and that was a huge success, and then a few more months to work our way down to 8. What does this mean? Did I not know what i was doing with maddie? Or would Maddie have been that way even if she were my 8th child? I think a little of both maybe? I think she def was a night owl, but I probably could have figured out how to get her down say 1am vs 4 am! Who knows. They have just been so drastically different in the sleeping department and I wonder if it's experience or just who they are! I honestly have no idea. I have no idea about his stretches, don't even ask. He was doing great, until he teethed and now he's sick. So the past two nights he's been getting up every 1.5 hrs. UGH. So hopefully when he's done being sick he'll go back to longer stretches?! I'm so afraid he's being trained to just wake up every hour now. yikes!

He is extremely smiley. You just look at him and he smiles. I think he looks alot like Maddie at this age. I really want to put a bow in his hair and compare pics, but i feel bad doing that to him ha.

Well, I need to attempt to go to bed. It seems rather pointless as this cold just keeps me up and then when i finally fall asleep Carden wakes up! yowsa.

Well, we did it. We had a baby boy :) He is one week old today (Sunday) at 9:46 am.

Here's the story:

Last Friday I started getting contractions, but they were very inconsistant, so I didn't worry too much about them. Then they started getting stronger, so I called Ann and gave her the heads up that I could POSSIBLY go into labor that day. I texted Mike and told him the same thing, but no response :)

Then a few hours later, the contractions picked up. Then I threw up in the bathroom multiple times. I called Mike. Texted Mike. NO RESPONSE! AHHH. "Where are you?!!! COME HOME, I'M IN LABOR!!!!"

There was one point where I was puking in a bucket in our bathroom, with Maddie hugging me from behind, squeezing my neck, and having a contraction, and I said firmly, "MADDIE, LEAVE THE ROOM!" She'd leave for 2 seconds and come right back, this wasn't working, I called Ann.

Ann came immediately and Mike arrived at the same time. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!!!!" "I was at physical therapy, my phone was off". "WELL I'M IN LABOR!" "I can see that". I lay down, and I honestly don't remember the conversation we had, but I think Ann took Maddie anticipating this was the real deal, and then it was just me and Mike.

I labored until 6-7ish pm? can't remember, and my contractions were really close together, and consistant so we're thought, THIS IS IT! We go to the hospital, and they check me and I'm dialated to a 1. NOT THIS AGAIN! (Maddie's birth experience) I said, "am I in labor?" "well, not really, you're in pre-labor, I mean, the machine is showing you are having contractions, but they're so inconsistant, we can't call this active labor yet, you're just at the beginning. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So we go home.

We pick up Maddie, Mike puts her to bed. I have really inconsistant contractions all night. Some are 5 minutes apart, some 10, some 20, some 4, and it goes on and on like this all. night. long. The nice thing was I could sleep inbetween each contraction, so that was wonderful. With Maddie's labor I could not sleep through ANTHING, and I was shaking the whole time, my body was exhausted. This one, no shakes, no hot and cold back and forth, it was great in that comparison.

We start a new day, Saturday, and same story. completely inconsistent contractions. Then we hit 12:30, and nothing. 1:30, nothing, 3 hours go by with NO CONTRACTIONS!!!! WHAT THE CRAP?! So I thought, "I might as well take advantage of this time and eat." So I ate, I asked either my midwife or Tracy if I should do something active to get it going again, and they said no, because then I'll just be tired, and I need energy. So I took it easy. At 3:30pm they started up again. Oh brother.

Same story. I give Ann the heads up- "we might be going to the hospital tonight if my freaking body ever decides to get serious!"

My body continues to do this inconsistant labor until 9ish pm, when the contractions are STILL inconsistent but way more severe. The yowsa kind.

We told ourselves, if this is still going on by 11:30pm, we're going in. By 11:30 my contractions were anywhere between 4-9 minutes apart for an hour, so we call Ann. Ann spends the night, we leave. YOWSA THE CAR RIDE. UGH. Hillcrest's bumps in the roads- ouch. Seriously labor in the car is the worst. And the 25 minute car ride ofcourse felt like 1 hour. Get there about 12:30am.

They check me. Dilated to a 4-5! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was PRAYING the entire way to the hospital "please Heavenly Father, PLEASE let me be dialated to atleast a 3, PLEASE just give me a 3!!!!" Anyone who knows Maddie's birth story knows it took me a LONG TIME to get to a 3!!! When I heard the words "4-5" I laughed and was smiling so big, and the midwife looked at me so wierd, like "why are you excited about that?" I was so relieved.

Now the first midwife was a weirdo, I did not like her. Let me back up a little-

This whole pregnancy I've been going back and forth "do i want to go natural or get an epidural?" I've always wanted to try the natural, I basically did with Maddie until the end, I wanted to know the whole experience- bla bla bla, but this pregnancy sucked, I was tired, i was done.  So about 2 weeks ago- I decided I was over it and wanted an epidural. I was not in the mood for pain. It was decided and I was relieved I finally decided it. I had talked to a couple midwives about this and they said that it was great, lots of people get epidurals and use midwives etc. I felt like we were all on the same page, and I felt very supported.

Then, I get this weirdo midwife (you just get whoever's on call) and she says "so just so we can be on the same page, what is your birth plan, do you want medication? do you want to go natural?" and I said "I want an epidural". "when do you want one?" "now". And in a REALLY snooty voice she says "well, if you were on my floor (the birthing center, I couldn't deliever in the birthing center cause i'm considered high risk from my cancer, so i was on the regular floor, labor and delivery) - so she says "well, if you were on my floor I'd make you walk for 2 hours" Pah, yeah right, I'm not doing that. So i said, "well can I get it now?" "Yes, you can get it now, but you have to realize this opens you up to so many complications that are COMPLETELY unnecessary". And it wasn't so much WHAT she was saying, but HOW she was saying it. She was SO STUCK UP and biased about it all. So she leaves the room, and I say to Mike "she's just being a hippy dippy that's biased right?" and he's like "yeah, if you want to get it, get it". Done.

I asked the nurse how long the midwife was on call for, and she said 7:30 am, bummer, I'll probably have the baby with her.

So 1.5 hrs later I got the epidural, OH my gosh. That epidural. It truly is a magical thing. So here's what was different this time. With Maddie, I could not feel A THING. This one, I could feel ALOT of pressure in my crotch, it felt like a bowling ball was trying to come out, and i wondered if the baby was coming, though it wasn't. However, I could not feel the contractions which was wonderful. They had me get on my side and put this "peanut ball" in between my legs to open up that area us much as possible, and that made the pressure worse, but it was way better than feeling my contractions.

I slept, waking up here and there.

7:30am rolls around :) New midwife, yay! The new one comes in, let me describe the new one:

In the sweetest voice possible, high pitched, completely sincere, she says "I just want to thankyou for letting me be apart of your birth experience, this is such an exciting day because you are about to have a baby boy!" She acted as though I was giving birth to a king, and she got to witness it. She was SO excited, SO happy and acted HONORED to be there, she thanked me MULTIPLE TIMES, and no she wasn't a student, and no she hadn't just started the job, she just LOVED delivering babies! She was awesome! Such positive energy! I immediately thanked Heavenly Father- THANKYOU!!!!!

This was the funny/weird part, she said- "well you look like you're ready (without checking me) so I'm going to check on my other girls (2 others in labor) and then we're gonna have this baby!" I was thinking, "how do you know I'm ready? you haven't checked me???" It was strange.

So around 9:20am she comes in, checks me- I'm fully dilated and she says excitedly "Ok! it's time to push this baby out! Oh this is so wonderful!" She was seriously Pollyanna, but it wasn't annoying, it was really sweet and sincere.

So then I start to panic. I say "I'm scared". In a really calm voice she says "ok lets talk about this, why are you scared?" and I said "cause i can feel down there, and I can tell I'm going to feel this! And last time I couldn't feel anything! and I know I'm going to feel it this time . . ." and she said "well the wonderful thing is, is this is your second baby, so it's not going to take as long, and we're going to use special gels, and ice packs and different things to make it a better experience than last time", and she just had this strange way of being able to calm me down and make me feel ok about it. So- I pushed, and yes- it hurt :)

What was more torturous than anything to me, was having to wait in between contractions. having a bowling ball hanging out in your vagina, wanting to push, but you can't, cause you have to wait for the next contraction! Of course it felt like eternity in between each contraction. Panicking I'd say "can't I push?" "No, it won't do any good, you need to wait for the next contraction". "why can't i push?!" "you need to wait for the contraction".

It was painful, but I can tell that it would have been MORE painful without the epidural, I know it numbed part of it, just not all of it. It was painful, but I assume without the epidural it would have been psycho painful- haha. I am SO curious HOW different it would have been without it, how much of the pain did I feel? How much worse would have it been? Not curious enough to regret my decision, haha, just curious.

I pushed for 20 minutes and at 9:46 am I had Carden.

I forgot to mention, my water did not break, so before the first push, the midwife warned me that the water bag would probably break and it would be a big gush of water. Sure enough, first push, BAM! It was like a HUGE gush of water popped out of me. I asked "did I just have the baby?" haha. You hear about those stories where the baby just SHOOTS out and I thought "oh my gosh, the baby just shot out! That was easy!" haha. But no, it was just my water :)

They put him on me immediately, they didn't weigh him for probably an hour, he was just on me, skin to skin. It was great. AND now, after this very sweet story, Bachelor is about to start, so I need to go- haha. I will write more later :)

He weighed 8lbs 11 oz.

I forgot to mention that I didn't have to use any Pitocin, I assumed that with an epidural I would have to get some. Most stories I hear of, the epidural slows down the labor, so that was a pleasant surprise. Overall, I was very happy with the birth story of Carden. So how long was my labor? I have no freaking clue!!!! When do you start counting? How do you start counting when the contractions are totally inconsistant?!! But from the beginning to end was 45 hrs, but that was with a 3 hour break of nothing happening, so who knows how long my labor was. When I went to the hospital, and was dilated to a 4-5, I had him about 9 hrs later.

Well, I don't even know what kind of blog this will be, or if anyone will even enjoy reading it, but I just really feel the need to journal what has been going on, even though it's not that exciting.

I am pregnant. And I'm REALLY sick of it. This pregnancy is just night and day from Maddie and it is painful. I cannot get comfortable, and I find myself thinking "how am I supposed to do this again?!!!" I will, bc I want more children, but yowsa- pregnancy sucks. I did not exercise this time (last time I walked for an hour 5 days a week, sometimes 6. And this time, nothing! So- I am curious how much of it has to do with that. BUT- this time I do not have swollen feet, and I wonder, did the walking make my feet swollen? Who knows, who cares, is all I know is- it all just sucks.

I am excited to meet our little boy that we're going to have! I haven't really been thinking much about HIM until recently. I was more focused on life, and all the things I needed to do or get done, and then my sisters had their babies, and everyday instagram was filled baby pics of little boys, and suddenly I got the bug. It made me so excited to have my own little soft, yummy newborn smell baby. I forgot how SMALL THEY ARE!!!!! Those pics of my nephews, they are just these tiny little things, it is crazy! I'm excited to have a perfect little spirit in our home, and that the worst thing they can do is spit up all over me, poop on me, or poop a million times in one hour, and lack of sleep. All of that does sound awful, ha but- I mean, really, that's the worst it can get.

I was on a real energy kick, getting so much done and now I'm tired. I'm bigger, I'm slower, I'm uncomfortable, it's FREAKING HOT, and now I just don't know how I'm going to get it all done. Last night I had a sort of anxiety attack in the middle of the night, woke mike up and told him how worried I was, how am I gonna get it all done, - basically just worrying about everything. It didn't help that immediately following that I was sick. I started to get the chills, hot and cold, and achy. Today was the same, then Mike came home around 3, and I slept for prob almost 3 hours. I felt alot better after that, but now I'm just weak feeling. I def am fighting a bug. So I'm sure not feeling well just makes my anxieties worse. Mike suggested writing a list of all the things i want to get done, and schedule when I'm going to do them, or if I NEED to do them at all, so I can rest my mind of all the anxiety. So I'm going to do that afer this blog. I have 5.5 weeks left. I hope I go early. I don't want to be in the danger zone ofcourse, but as soon as its safe, I hope the baby comes, I'm so sick of it!!!

I told my mom not to sew anything this time bc her life is just too hectic and crazy, so instead she's going to buy me a changing table that matches our crib!!! I'm so excited!!! I wanted to find a cheap one on craigslist, and paint it to match etc, but that all just sounds too hard. So I'm really excited. I LOVE our crib, and the changing table we're getting.

I feel like my baby is trying to get out of my tummy. He stretches all his limbs out, trying to get out. I don't remember if Maddie was like this, if she was i clearly forgot. I really wonder how huge he's going to be bc of how huge I am. I have a friend who just had a baby who looked similar to me, and she had a 10 pounder. I wonder how much of all this is fat or baby! Yikes, I hope it's not a 10 pounder. I don't want to get into this too much, but- I keep going back and forth between natural and drugs for the labor/birth. I just feel so crappy, it really does not sound like fun to go through all that pain. Last time I was so focused, and this time, I just haven't had time to think about it, I just don't feel as prepared mentally as I was last time. I also have alot more aches and pains so it makes me wonder if the labor will be worse than last time. I don't know- my midwife and mike say- just do what you feel like when the time comes, you don't have to have it all decided today. And then ofcourse someone had to tell me- "you know you might have a c-section bc you're so big, I know a baby who broke it's ribs going through the birth canal bc it was so big". Thanks, that's really what I want to hear right now.  Speaking of dumb, I can't go anywhere without people asking me if I'm past due, or having twins. So that's fun.

I've made a new friend that I just really love. Her name is Ann, she's in my ward, she has 2 kids that Maddie falls right inbetween, so they all like eachother equally. She's really down to earth, and normal, and I just really like her alot. We have had 3 play dates, and we would have another Fri, if I felt good, but that's fine, I can tell we're on a roll now, so I'm excited to have a good friend in my WARD! I'm friends with everyone, and talk to people in the halls, but I don't HANG out with anyone in my ward, so it's nice to have that. And even besides her being in my ward, I just really like her. I told Michael "the only beef I have with her is she doesn't eat cookies, cause she's on a non-gluten and sugar diet". And Mike says "Hm...... I can't be friends with you bc you don't eat cookies", I bust out laughing and said- "it's not a deal breaker! I'm just saying- it will take some getting used to not making cookies for her". Basically-if you hang out with me, you eat cookies, whether it's me making them at my house, or bringing them to your house, so it's an adjustment! haha.

Well, I need to make my "list" of anxieties and decide what's truly important in life. If it were daylight, I suppose I could climb a mountain afterwards, chant, and be at peace with myself. But since it's night time, and I would never climb a mountain anyway, I will make my list, and go to bed :)

I got to see Megan, her kids and my parents for about a week, and it was so wonderful.

The last time I saw Megan's kids, they were both really sick, so I kind of stayed clear of them- haha! It was so nice to get to know them, and spend time with them, and even better- I loved watching them with maddie. I just LOVED watching Maddie with her cousins. It was the sweetest thing to watch, and like my sister Megan has been saying, has been bringing back alot of good memories of myself playing with the Cook cousins. I thought of Crystal often when watching Maddie and her cousins play.

Maddie and Scarlet got along just great. We went outside almost everyday, it was FREEZING! bc of the wind, but the kids ofcourse didn't care ha. Meanwhile, megan and I would sit on chairs, looking like snowmen with layers of sweatshirts and coat and sometimes a blanket, ha. Oh- and a huge umbrella blocking the wind. Meanwhile, the kids are running around no big deal facing the wind. ha. I remember I was the same way at their age, and I bet Mom and Judy thought it was funny too. What's crazy is I remember even playing in the ocean in that kind of weather. Kids.

I had not laughed SO hard in such a long time. I peed my pants from laughing the first night I got there. That is to be expected though. I feel like I pee myself every time I hang out with Megan and Greg. Greg wasn't there, but you know- he was there in spirit ha. I don't know what it is, but I seriously pee every time I hang out with them, so it was pretty funny when I did the first night. Only this time I did it with my dad in the room- so that was special and a first for both of us- haa. I literally was laughing held my crotch from the front- couldn't- cause my stomach was in the way, so I tried to grab it from behind as I'm running to the bathroom while everyone is laughing. OH man.

Megan and I got to watch Bachelor TWICE together- which was pretty awesome. And they just so happened to be amazing episodes. We laughed so hard. One night my mom joined us and that was funny too.

We went to an icecream store 3 times while I was there. We also bought chocolates to take home each time. It was so great not having to feel shameful infront of eachother ha. We probably looked pretty funny, these two pregnant chicks eating icecream together. The icecream guy ofcourse recognized us each time.

One day my mom offered to watch the kids so we could go out to lunch and that was just fabulous. We said we'd be gone 2 hours, and it went by SO FAST, we're like- "already?"

The kids had a tea party with mom, which was Maddie's first! It made me so happy to know she finally was a participant in the tea parties. An Arnold grandchild tradition. She and Scarlet still weren't old enough to want to change their names for the tea party- my mom said they wanted to keep their names, but they got all dressed up, and decorated cakes, and loved the tea party, it made me so happy. The only bummer was i didnt' get to see it! I saw her dressed up though, so that was cute.

We stayed up really late every night. And every time we'd say to eachother "ughhh we need to go to bed, we're gonna regret this". But we just couldn't help ourselves. It was so wonderful seeing Megan and the kids. It was funny cause my mom and dad were there but I didnt' really spend much time with them. I mentioned it to my mom and she said "Oh I knew it would be like this, you're fine!" So that's good. Even though I just saw my mom, I don't feel like i "saw her". But it was such a wonderful trip. My poor mom has had SO many visitors I hope she can recover from all of this! And then the babies that are due soon, I worry about her. I'm sure she really appreciates me saying this publicly ! but I do worry about her. You'd think after the kids are out of the house, life would get slower and easier for parents, but I can see it just gets busier. I love my family. I just feel really grateful for my family. And I am so grateful that we could afford to visit and spend a nice long visit with them.

I went to Oregon to visit family. The main reason was for Megan because this is the only time she is going to be in the states for awhile. (she lives in Kyrgyzstan) But ofcourse I couldn't go to Oregon without seeing the Winegardners too! We usually stay with the Winegardners but we stayed with Brooke and Nate this time. It was so great to have Maddie and Ky play together and get to know eachother. I'm so glad they are coming to visit this week so Ky can be even more cemented in Maddie's mind. I also had a great visit with Nate and Brooke while staying there. I have come to discover something I already knew, but know even more now, Brooke is a total hippy haha.  And she is a learner. She really likes to learn new things. She is not stagnant. She really likes to improve herself and the environment around her and I really admire her for that. Every time I see her she is into something "new". It was neat seeing and hearing about all the things she had done that year, home made yogurt, garden, canning, reconstruction on the house, she's done alot.

The Winegardners came over for dinner the first night, and then we went to hang at their house all day the next day. It was so great hanging at their house. I love their property. It amazes me every time how beautiful and how large it is. It made me want to move back to Oregon until I started sneezing like crazy and then I thought "ughhhh I'm so glad I don't have to deal with these allergies anymore". It is worse in the country, vs at Nate and Brooke's, so I suppose we could move back some day but just not live in the "country". But I feel like if I did move back, why wouldn't I want to move to the country?! That's where all the beauty is!

I ate almost a whole jar of Marie's peaches, her canned foods are so good. And then they sent us to the coast with more, and it was all gone in 2 days. I ate most of the peaches. Megan kept saying "man, you really like peaches" haha. I LOVE PEACHES. I love watching Maddie play on their property. She can run where ever she wants, and I don't need to worry about someone snatching her up, or her running out in the street, I don't have t have a CONSTANT eye on her. And there is just so much to explore there. She really loved their little sand box they made. SHE LOVES Hazel. Oh my goodness. She is so brave. There is NO WAY I would have done the things she does at this age. She gets on the floor face to face with Hazel. I was SO SCARED OF DOGS when I was little! It makes me so happy that she's not scared.

Marie basically was santa clause. She made Maddie a million dresses, Backpack from Dora, and a doll. It was incredible. The dresses were gorgeous and so well made, and I kind of wished I could wear them myself- haha. I couldn't get over it. It was truly incredible.

Though it was a short visit, it was a wonderful visit, and I'm glad I was able to go to Salem and visit family. Saturday night I headed off to the coast, and I'll write about that another day!

This pregnancy is SO different from Maddie's. So- I didn't know it back then, because I had nothing to compare it to, but I felt GREAT during maddie's pregnancy! I had gestational diabetes, which was a total bummer but it didnt' affect the way I FELT physically. The only complaint was retaining water, super sausage feet. Otherwise I felt great.

This pregnancy. Holy Cow. I was feeling great, even forgot I was pregnant sometimes. And then about 2 weeks ago, all of a sudden it happened. I popped, and I've been feeling awful, not emotionally but physically. I feel like someone kicked me in my crotch, and beat me up on my lower back. When I stand up, I feel like my body is going to snap in half, and then after 20 seconds it goes away, and I'm back to normal. When I'm laying down, and try to sit up, and stand up, same deal. And every time I think- "something is severely wrong with me", but then 20 seconds later it goes away. My stomach is super tight, like my skin won't stretch or something! ha. OH- and ligament pains, they have finally left me, but I got those really bad this time, and didnt' have ONE with Maddie. Really different pregnancy.

HOWEVER, last time I had gest diabetes, which forced me to walk for an hour every day. So maybe had I NOT been doing that, I would have been feeling all of this last time. I wonder if I started walking if it would eliminate all of this. UGH, walking while pregnant, not fun, and not fun in 90 degree weather. My mom had a great idea, to walk at the mall, but every time i go to the mall I get Mrs. Fields Cookies, so I will be poorer and fatter.

Tuesday is my Gest. Diabetes test, oh man I hope I don't have it. If I do, I'm just going to have to postpone the diet until after Brooke and Nate's visit, because I just can't deal with figuring out how to feed others and myself with this restricted diet. Brooke and Nate are coming this Thur and I'm so excited!

UGH! I just posted 13 items on ebay. If I sell it all I will get 254 dollars. But I have to pay for shipping, (all very light items) so prob 2 bucks per item, so - minus 26 bucks.

What am I selling you ask? Well, my mom gave me an Embroidery Machine years ago. She gave me all the embroidery stuff it came with. I use the Machine all the time for sewing but not embroidery. I looked at all the embroidery stuff, and it's all on floppy disks!!! There is no way I'm going to buy something that converts floppies into cds, and figure out how to download those to my computer- something that was meant for windows 95, haha, and then onto my sewing machine some how.  I was about to toss the discs and their manual books, until I thought "you never know, maybe there's some crazies on ebay who still collects this stuff". So I looked it up and I found 2 exact sales, and then 11 comparables. I based all my prices on the comparables, and made mine below their asking prices and offered free shipping since they're all really light. It took me 3.5 FREAKING HOURS!!!!! Mike and I were laughing over how if I can manage to make 35 dollars, then I will have made 10 dollars an hour, MINUS SHIPPING! haha. OH boy. So hopefully I can make more than 35 to make it worth my time. ha. I kept saying to Michael "I can't believe some people do this for a living, this is so boring!" And then after spending 3.5 hours on a computer doing REALLY boring stuff, very repetitive, I thought "my sweet husband does this everyday, not doing ebay, but he works at a computer every day, my poor sweetie does this for our family so we can have a nice life". It made me really grateful for him, and REALLY grateful that I didn't have to do that 5 days a week. Atleast Michael is guaranteed money for his work- haha. Hopefully I can atleast make SOMETHING after all that work! yowsa. Who in their right mind would want to buy some floppy disks?!!! But apparently there's a market for it!

YOWSATIOUS.

Glad that's done.

This weekend was so extremely productive! One thing led to another, and before we knew it we were getting so much accomplished. I painted 3/4 of the baby's room. Everything but where the guest bed was. Saturday I asked Michael to move the guest bed into the sewing room. After we cleared all the stuff that would be replaced with the guest bed, we realized it'd prob be smart to paint the ceiling before we move the bed in. Our ceiling has needed to be painted ever since we moved in. The popcorn was scraped and it needed to be kilzed, and painted. So- without planning it, Mike kilzed the ceiling, then painted it, then moved the bed in, AND- installed closet mirrors that had been sitting in our garage since we moved in. The edges of the walls near the ceiling needed to be repainted bc the popcorn scrapers messed up the paint 2 inches down. But we didn't have the paint! So, I ripped off a piece of a shelf (it was rotting, but it's nice that you thought I could rip a thick board in half) that we were going to remove anyway and I matched the paint at Lowe's, and then I touched up all the edges. The room probably wouldn't look like anything special to anyone else, but bc we know what it WAS, it looks heavenly!!!! When it was all finished, I made myself hot chocolate and sat in there for 20 minute admiring our work. It felt so good.

So yes, now the sewing room is a sewing room/guest room. It's a tighter squeeze but will do just fine. I'm just grateful I can still provide a bed for guests, and have a space to sew without having to drag all my machines out.

So tomorrow I need to clean and organize the sewing room, and then hopefully if I have the energy finish painting the baby's room.

We decided on gray for the walls. Mike REALLY loved Gray, and I liked gray. I think it will be fun to have a "modern" room, I am not a modern person, but really appreciate it, so it will be fun to have it in my house but not have it be the main theme! Michael also wants the crib to be black. I like black, but I could have also done a bright color. SO- this means- all the decor will be nice bold colors, and I think the gray and black will really make the colors pop. I was unsure of it all at first, but I am really excited now and think it will look really cool.

On Friday Maddie and I are leaving for Oregon! I am going to see my inlaws first. We're staying with Brooke,  and we're going to have a family dinner with the Winegardners that first night (brooke always makes fun of me that i refer to Marie and Dave as the Winegardner's, it's just easier to say the "Winegardners"!) The next morning, after breakfast we'll all head over to the Winegardners, and hang until after dinner, and then I'll head to the beachouse and see my parents and Megan and her kids. I am SO excited for Maddie to play with Ky, Scarlet and Brighton. I think she is just going to LOVE all of them. It's so fascinating how kids love their cousins MORE than their friends. Even though they don't understand that they are "family" they somehow know that these little people are different from the other little people they hang out with, and they love them more. I have seen that with Lizzie and Rebecca's kids. Even though she doesn't see them very often, she loves them so much. And even though she doesn't know Ky, Brighton or Scarlet that well, she LOVES them on Instagram, and knows their names. I'm excited!!! Oh yes, and I get to see my Bro for a couple hours in Portland when I arrive. It was SO fortunate that he literally gets off work at 12:30, when I arrive in Portland!

HOLY heck I am tired and my bum is sore from sitting so long- ha. Time to go to bed.

WELL, besides being pregnant, the biggest news around here is . . . we bought a truck! This is so incredibly exciting!!!! Any time we wanted to do any project we had to be EXTREMELY strategic in how to fit the materials from home depot in our car, or borrow a truck. OR- pay for delivery. We now own a truck free and clear, and can haul whatever we want!!!! We are so happy with it. Now if only we had some money to buy something big to haul to our house- then that would be fun! ha.

Some projects we want to do, in no particular order:

• ceiling fans
• paint our bedroom, paint ceiling of sewing room (still haven't done that from moving in!!!) 
• finishing touches on baseboards
• shelves in garage
• insulation in attic
• lay boards down in attic
• get rid of dirt on side of house
• plant grass!

And now that we have a truck we can start setting some goals to do these projects!!! I WISH I had thought about the painting before I got pregnant, didn't think that one through! So now it's all on Mike :) I'm going to Oregon at the end of the month and he said he plans on doing it while we're gone. I hope so!

We are trying really hard to pay off our school loan. Which is so very difficult when you have that extra money and want to do a project but know where it REALLY should go! So we're trying to be disciplined! But we know it will be well worth it in the end. None of these projects are "needs" so they can all wait. But it will be wonderful when we finally can do them. I was feeling really sorry for myself that we didn't have grass, but- then I realized- I don't want it for Maddie, I want it for me! Maddie could care less if there was grass back there, so when I realized that, I thought- I can wait :)  patience . . . .

This is what I look like at 22 weeks. I am not 23 weeks!

A few bullet points:

• I am quite obsessed with vintage puzzles. Whitman, playskool, or judy instructo. The wooden kind. I can spend over an hour on ebay looking at them. I scored 3 for 10 bucks total a few weeks ago, and then the rest I've gotten at garage sales for 50 cents. But I want more. So I look at ebay and dream. They are SO expensive!!! It's crazy! and some of the ones I own, that I got for a dollar are worth 30 bucks! CARAZY. I like them bc I love old things, and the quality is amazing! And they are wood/chipboard so- you can't bend them like you can cardboard. Maddie LOVES them, so that makes it even harder not to buy them, just trying keep my child happy right?

WELL, after I went to Lizzie's, I just couldn't help myself, I had to go to D-land! I was tired from being away from home, etc. but I knew I'd be depressed all day knowing that Rebecca was there with her girls, and WE COULD BE TOO!!!! So off we went to Rebecca's!

OH my gosh I love Disneyland so much. It truly brings me so much joy.

Maddie had a blast ofcourse. She wore her Minnie mouse outfit that I made her and she was a complete doll. We did a character breakfast and we managed to visit with Minnie twice because their shift changed, and the new one obviously didn't know we had already seen Minnie. The second Minnie was the most AMAZING Minnie I had ever met. She literally jumped up and down, clapped her hands and made you feel like she had been waiting her whole life to see you! She did that to EACH of us. She also spent alot of time with maddie. She compared their dresses and it was so adorable. Maddie was free since she was under 3, so that was even better! Free characters and breakfast for Maddie. But even if we had to pay for her, character breakfasts are SO WORTH IT! I just wish I could be a tourist guide for people who go to D-land to tell them the right way to do it! Except I STILL don't know my way around. Getting closer, but still not there. I know, it' so sad.

(Marie, I posted a MILLION pics on instagram, so hop on there or look at brooke's phone next time you see her. I posted ALOT!)

Next weekend I go to Rebecca's to babysit her girls, the following weekend is easter and Lizzie's family is coming. And then a couple weeks later is Rebeccas Birthday and we'll all prob do D-land together again for that. In June I'm visiting my family in OR, and then a couple weeks later Brooke and Nate come here! It seems there is always something going on! But you know what- this is so good because I'm pregnant, and anything to make this time go fast, the better!

Something I've been experiencing ALOT of this pregnancy that I did not feel AT ALL with maddie is ligament pains. MAJOR. to the point where I thought "oh my gosh I'm going to miscarry!". No I'm not having cramps, it was just such an unfamiliar pain I thought- miscarriage? But sure enough it was ligament pains and they haven't let up. It's so odd I didn't have them with Maddie.

I don't remember being this tired. I could take 3 naps a day. When I wake up from a nap it's never enough. I'm never satisfied. I don't remember being this tired, I prob was, and just forgot.

I can't get full. Ok here's the deal, I'll be eating, and I am full, so I stop eating, but then 15 minutes later I'm hungry already. So the past few days (being annoyed of this) when I'm full, I force myself to eat more hoping I won't get hungry as soon! ha. I'm just so sick of being hungry!

Little Miss madsters is quite the make believer. She LOVES to make believe anything. She is currently obsessed with puppets (the ones Marie made) and i think Mike is about to rip them to shreds. EVERYTHING must be done with the puppets. The puppets do the puzzle with you, they take a bath with you, they read you the story, basically we don't exist anymore, the puppets do everything for her. It is getting quite old. When she wakes up, the first thing she says is "puppets". SHE IS OBSESSED.

She's really into playing hide and seek, but not with eachoher, with her toys. So her toys/stuffed animals will play hide and seek.

She is particularly obsessed with a Dora episode titled "bugga bugga". I have no idea.

She is VERY into dinosaurs right now.

She is SO sweet. Says thankyou and please all the time.

She is SO loving. In the middle of the day she will say "OH momma, I love you". It is so sweet and so cute. or - out of hte blue- we won't even be talking about Mike, she'll say "Oh I just love dadda". It is so sweet. She also started saying "momma, you're the best", and then i will say "no you're the best", and then she gets mad and says "NO YOU'RE THE BEST!" hahah.

She will let me fix her hair if i give her 1 jelly bean.

She LOVES HER MILKY, she would have been a great contender for one of those 10 yr old nursers.

OH this is so funny. She says "Oh my gosh". It is hilarious.

Today I was singing, and she said "Momma, stop singing".

The other day I got out of the shower, I'm naked, and she looks at me and says "momma is big" paha

Today I gave her a time out, and when I went to go get her out (time out is in the play pen) she said "no, I want another time out". haha

She's been asking to sit on the toilet. We have a little kiddie toilet seat to go on top of the regular toilet, and we let her sit on it for as long as she wants, but nothing has happened. We haven't been trying to do anything, we're just letting her sit on it when she asks. We haven't decided when we want to try. Everything I've been told by my sisters is to wait until they are ready and interested. So we're just doing that and going with the flow. Everyone is like "YOU DO NOT WANT 2 KIDS IN DIAPERS!" But, everything I've been told is, it's not that successful when you "make" them do it vs waiting until they're ready. Don't get me wrong I'm not going to wait until she's 5, but she's already showing interest, so we'll see what happens! It'd be great if it happens before the baby, but if it doesn't I won't be depressed about it.

I'm not trying to sound so mushy, but she truly is the greatest kid I know. I really don't know anyone like her. We just love her so much.